


Waging Internal Wars

by Shedidit444



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Old Friends, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:59:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 81
Words: 142,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3698333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shedidit444/pseuds/Shedidit444
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story takes place after the season 2 finale. Clarke has gone to deal with her internal conflicts and Bellamy remains a camp Jaha. Clarke's decisions during the war have torn her apart inside. She finds a way to deal with the ghosts that haunt her, but will Bellamy approve? Will he be able to bring Clarke back and restore her to the strong woman she was.....or is she too far gone?<br/>I update very often so please follow :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carnage

Clarke gazed into the vast forest before her contemplating her choice of direction. To her left mount weather, to her right the drop ship, and in front of her Polis.  Each path leading to a place of confrontation and regret. Each path filled with its own unique demons and plagued decision. But one path had a gravitational pull on her that she would not fight. She walked forth on her journey never once looking back at Camp Jaha. The emotional toll of her actions since landing on this God forsaken planet was overwhelming and the ghosts that haunted her were relentless.

Camp Jaha was a dream, she was in a nightmare.

*Bellamy*

The gate closed behind him, he looked back one more time at Clarke as she disappears into the tree line of the thick forest. He sucked in a heavy breath as he watches. Uncertainty washes over him as he is unsure of what fate has in store for her.  He turns in towards the camp and observes the camps inhabitants. Everyone is clamoring about, aiding the injured and bringing food and water to the rest. Families are reuniting with hugs and tears.  A slight smile forms on his face as he know his people are safe.

*Later that evening*

Kane approached Bellamy as he stood guard at the fence. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to move from the gate since it had closed behind him; placing a large barrier between himself and his fellow leader. He wasn’t entirely sure where he should go within the camp, so he resorted to what he knows to do-protect his people. In his mind it was clear. They had won the battle, but not the war. The alliance with the grounders was sure destroyed by Lexa's decision to leave the battle.

Kane came to stand beside him, “Have you seen Clarke, Abby has been asking for her”.

Bellamy's gaze falls to the ground as he searches for the words. Kane’s eyes narrowed as he stepped in front of Bellamy demanding his undivided attention. Bellamy looks down and to his left, “Bellamy, where is Clarke?” Kane demanded.

Bellamy took a slow deep breath in, “She isn’t here” he said flatly. Kane’s head cocked to the side and his eye narrowed further, “where is she?” this time his tone was less demanding and more concerned.

 “She needs time, she’ll be back,” Bellamy said firmly with a slight nod of his head toward the forest. Kane’s eyes followed Bellamy’s gesture and looked out into the abyss. He took a step back shifting to face Bellamy, “I’ll tell Abby” he offered with a comforting pat on the shoulder. Bellamy’s jaw tightened as he swallowed the thought of Abby discovering her daughter had left. Kane stood beside him for a moment longer, his eyes back on the tree line, and then he walked back into the ark to the medical bay.

A few hours had passed, Bellamy stood resolute at self-appointed post. He had been on guard from the moment they had found Jasper in the tree strung up as live bait. Standing guard had become instinctual since then. Relaxing was a foreign concept.

The thoughts of Clarke alone in the dark forest with unlimited potential threats did not help matters.

 Octavia approached him breaking him from his thoughts. “Come eat Bel, the war is over, you don’t have to stand guard” she teased her brother. He gave her a half smile then returned his gaze back to the tree line.

Octavia’s eyes narrowed and filled with contempt. She pulled his arm turning him to face her.

“Let her go” she commanded slowly. Bellamy rolled his eyes and shook his head with a slight smile as if to dismiss what she’d said. His gaze returning to the familiar tree line. “Forgive me, if I don’t believe we’re safe. We haven’t been since we came down here.”

Octavia’s eyes searched his face before falling away, “she left me in TonDC to _die_ ” she snapped back at him. His eyebrows drew together as he slowly turned to her. Octavia glared up at him, “She took off with Lexa and left everyone else for dead” she told him coldly. A wave of shock washed over his face, “she wouldn’t –“, and Octavia cut him off, “she did”. 

Bellamy swallowed hard while trying to process her accusation, it didn’t make any sense. His eyes flew across the landscape as if he could somehow find an answer for this there. As if she would reappear and deny the outrageous notion.

Lincoln approached them, “Raven is asking for you” he informed Octavia. 

She shot her eyes back at her brother, “Like I said Bel, let- her- go”, with that she turned and headed towards ark.

Lincoln watched her leave waiting until she was out of earshot.

“Clarke did what she had to do,” Lincoln said firmly. “If she had warned them, the mountain men would have discovered you-your people in the mountain and you would be dead if she hadn’t.” Bellamy swung around to face him with a hardened face and cold eyes, “so she sacrificed my sister…for me?!”

“She made a choice. The deaths a TonDC were minimal compared to what would have happened”.

Bellamy shook his head “no, Octavia was not worth that risk”, he growled.  “If it was so worth the sacrifice then why didn’t _she_ stay?”  

 Lincoln looked at him sympathetically, “they were hunting her, and the commander. This was not the first attempt on her life. She had to escape to lead your people. To _save_ your people.” Bellamy turned away from him unable to hear any more. She knew what Octavia meant to him, beyond that Clarke never sacrificed people, the thought was inconceivable. He stalked into the camp away from Lincoln and the post he had held.  Lincoln looked out onto the tree line then followed Bellamy silently

**.

That night the remaining one hundred, that well enough partook in a healthy serving of moonshine.  The adults conceded to the indulgence, after what these kids had been through who were they to deny them a release.

They congregated around a fire in silence, each trying to find some sort of peace within themselves. Some traumatized by physical wounds, others emotional ones.

Miller sat next to Bellamy, “where’s Clarke I haven’t seen her since-“, Bellamy cut him off “she’s gone.” Miller’s drunken gaze met Bellamy’s cold one

“Gone….where?”  He questioned.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and growled as he stood up. He had enough people ask him today about her.  He wasn’t going to continue to answer each individual person in this camp about her whereabouts. Especially not while he was still mauling over her actions regarding his sister.

“Listen up” he commanded to the group, “Clarke is gone, I don’t know where she is or when or even if she will be back.” 

“What do you mean she’s gone? How could she just leave us?” Monroe asked approaching Bellamy. He sighed, “She needs some time,” he said trying to maintain control over the group and over his personal emotions over it.

“Where is Finn-is he with her?” someone shouted from the group.

Bellamy sucked in a heavy breath, how could he explain to them that the leader they were all so concerned about killed him.  Though he understood her actions, explaining the situation would take more time then he desired to give it at the moment.

He took in another heavy breath, “Finn is dead” the words came out cold and distant. He shook his head and turned to walk away unable to deal with any more questions.

“What happened while we were in there?” Monty asked quietly. Bellamy looked across the fire at him, _damn it, Monty,_ he thought to himself.

Bellamy sucked in a breath and rolled his eyes to the left, forcing himself to stand a tall as possible, crossing his arms over his broad chest. This talk was going to take a while….

*Clarke*

She had been walking for ten hours, her legs were on fire, and her feet swollen and blistered by the time she reached her destination. She relished in the pain, it distracted her from her thoughts. She stared at the ominous door before her “Mount Weather” carved into the metal. She took a deep breath and entered.

It was quite, not a single sound could be heard.  The place that was once filled with people trying to contain her suddenly stood still. A battleground turned ghost town overnight. She made her way to the control room, each of her steps heavy with her guilt.

 As she entered the room her eyes scanned over the place. Memories flooded her mind and shot through her heart. As if it called to her eyes fell onto the lever. She walked over and brushed her fingertips softly over it. Such a small device and yet it caused so much death. She stared at it for a while, as if she was trying to relive the moment she had pulled it. She felt if she could relive the moment she could somehow stop herself from pulling it; preventing all the death that followed.

At the very least she knew she should have pushed Bellamy away from it. It was not his burden to bear.  She never should have let him put that on himself.

While his offer to share the responsibility of that moment with her had comforted her before, it now filled her with guilt.

She pushed the lever forcing it back into the upward position, the none lethal position it had held before her hand touched it. It went up with ease, but the ramifications were indifferent. She pushed at it again, desperately trying to right her wrong. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

She pushed it harder and harder slamming her hand into it, but nothing.  No matter how hard she pushed, the devastating outcome remained.

She shook her head and pushed back her tears walking away from the haunted lever.

She came upon a body, Dante Wallace. She kneeled beside him, “what have we done?” she whispered as she looked into the monitors. They’re screens still running, everything had been left untouched. The screens reflected the ghosts she had already felt, each room revealing more of the carnage she had caused. Her eyes drifted back to Dante as she shook her head. “What have I become”, she asked the lifeless form. “I’m sorry,” Her voice trailed off into her sobs. She stayed there by his side for a while, crying. Contemplating. Loathing.

Eventually, she found the strength to stand. She walked down the abandoned corridor and into the dining hall. She froze momentarily as she absorbed the sight of the massacre. Slowly she glided her way around the bodies, staring intently at each one of them. Her gaze finally fell to Mya. She melted next to her, grabbing her hand and crying, rocking back and forth.  “What have I done?” She sobbed again.

Her eyes inevitably shifted around the room again, her heart racing as she took it all in. She knew what she had to do. With a heavy heart, she stood nodding to herself as she set her plan in motion.


	2. Hard Truths

*Clarke*

Clarke wiped the sweat from her brow as she looked around at the holes she had dug…graves.  Not enough yet for all of them, but there would be….in time. She returned to the dining hall and gathered Mya’s body in her arms. _She deserves to be the first_ she thought _._ She struggled, but managed to carry her out of the mountain and into the sunlight, Clarke paused, “You would have liked it out here” Clarke said to Mya’s lifeless body. She shook her head and gently placed Mya into the first grave. She took a moment and stared down at her, searching for some sort of justification…reason…peace? Her face hardened at the thought, and she began to gently cover Mya’s body with dirt.

*Bellamy*

It had been a week since their return to Camp Jaha. A sense of normalcy was beginning to develop. Everyone was contributing and plans to build more structures for housing were beginning to develop.  Kane had taken charge while Abby was recovering.  Bellamy managed to avoid Abby; he couldn’t bring himself to face her. He knew it wasn’t his fault that Clarke left, but would she?

 _Clarke_ …. He had tried not to think too much about where she was. Much to Octavia’s dismay he couldn’t bring himself to hate her. He knew her decisions during the war were the things that were keeping her at bay now. She was punishing herself enough; he did not need to add his own resentment to it. After all, he had no room to judge. If he had maintained his was against the ark in the beginning, everyone on it would have been dead. He couldn’t condone or forgive Clarkes decision, but he knew it wasn’t a selfish one contrary to his own. Therefore, he resided to accepting it.

Kane had requested Bellamy's presence in the council room.  Bellamy had taken his time getting there, unsure of what the impromptu meeting was about. He finally strolled into the room with a stern look on his face. He deduced that this meeting was regarding his job status within the community. While Bellamy had continued to keep watch with the guard….he wasn’t officially one of them. The thought of returning to a janitorial position pushed anger into him.

Kane greeted him with a handshake and asked him to take a seat. “Now that the 47 are safe, we need to reestablish our government” Kane began. Bellamy tilted his head to the side, “what does this have to do with me?”  He questioned

“Well, as you know, on the ark we had a council representative from each nation.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed with the government lesson that seemed to be taking place.

“The one hundred have, in a way, become their own nation. They-“ he stopped to look penitently at Bellamy “You established a community here; A community that views you as its leader”.

Bellamy shrugged and maintained his half annoyed look as he waited for his inevitable demotion.

“We-Abby and I- want _you_ to represent the one hundred.” Bellamy looked at him questioningly. “On the council” Kane continued. Bellamy’s stance relaxed and he half laughed, “guard to janitor to council member” he joked unbelieving of the offer.

“I’m serious” Kane insisted leaning towards him. Bellamy’s blank stare turned into an inquisitive one as Kane reached out and handed him a council pin.  He hesitated before accepting the pin and gazed upon it playing with it in his hand, stunned.

After a few moments of silence Kane joked, “of course this does mean you will have to speak with the chancellor eventually.” Bellamy looked up from the pin and took a sharp breath in, his jaw clenching.

He had avoided the messengers that she had sent to him throughout the week pleading for him to come speak to her.  He couldn’t talk with her. Not yet. She would only ask about Clarke, and he was still sorting out his feelings about the situation.  

“It would be better to speak with her now, rather than to wait and do it publically… in a council meeting” Kane said. Bellamy contemplated it for a moment; “okay” he sighed and begrudgingly headed to the medical bay.

*Clarke*

She patted the top of the last grave smoothing the dirt above it. She gazed upon all the other graves… _one hundred and thirty_ she thought eerily.  Her hands were covered in blisters, her arms and legs should have been searing with pain, but she couldn’t feel it. She could only feel her guilt, and self-hatred other than that she was numb.

She thought burying the dead would bring her some sort of solace, but it didn’t. Instead, she was left with an emptiness, _now what?_  She thought to herself.

She returned to Mya’s grave and sat next to it with her head in her hands.

She had been sitting there for a while when she suddenly felt a shooting pain searing in her head, then darkness.

*Bellamy*

He took a heavy breath as he entered the med bay. Still contemplating silently what he would say to her, attempting to guess what she would say to him. He had played out several conversations in his head as he took a long detour to get here.  

Abby looked up at him and smiled. There was so much concern on her face, _a mother’s face_ Bellamy thought grimly.

“How are you?” she asked taking hold of his hand.  “Okay,” he replied with the confidence of a shy child.

“Kane told you about the council?” she said nodding toward the pin now placed on his jacket.

“Yeah” he breathed, glancing at the pin.

She gently rubbed his knuckles with her thumb trying to comfort him.

“I’m glad you came” she smiled up at him, attempting to catch his gaze. “How are you?” his raspy voice got out as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“I’ve been better” she laughed.

A few moments of silence had passed when she quietly asked, “What happened?” Bellamy shifted his gaze, he still hadn’t met hers. “She left,” he said forcing himself to be gentle about it after all this was her mother.

“Will she-” Bellamy lost is resolve and cut her off, “don’t count on it.”

Abby took a moment, “you’re angry” she stated. Bellamy rolled his eyes but thought for a moment before he spoke “I don’t know what I am” he answered honestly.

“She almost killed my sister” he half whispered shaking his head looking at his feet now.

Abby swallowed hard, “TonDC” she breathed.  He finally met her gaze. They shared a moment there staring at each other, the understanding that what happened was awful, and the question they shared was “was it forgivable”.

Abby broke the moment, “what she did…” she was searching for the words and he knew it. Bellamy began to pull away and cut her off. “I’m sorry, she’s your daughter and I shouldn’t.” She squeezed his hand silently asking him to stay. “She had two choices. Let TonDC be hit and lose some, or reveal the leak and lose any hope of a rescue.” She ducked her head to catch his gaze, “there was no way to save everyone”.

He relaxed his stance as he digested her comments, he look back at her and nodded.  He turned to leave when Abby murmured, “I know my daughter, I’m not naïve enough to believe that everything that has happened, this war, TonDC, the mountain people..” She paused, “Finn” Bellamy turned back towards her meeting her gaze, “it will destroy her” The air around Bellamy became heavy. “If she refused to enter these gates…..then it already has” tears began to form in her eyes as she reached once more for his hand. “Please don’t let one decision she made in war change the way you feel about her- you two had mutual respect and caring for each other. You _both_ saved our people.” Abby sobbed and Bellamy tried to take everything in.

It took a few moments, but Abby composed herself. She stared directly into his eyes, “Clarke’s gone, your anger will only hurt you.” 

A nurse came in interrupting them and Abby dropped his hand. “I need to change her bandages” the nurse stated pulling a curtain around her bed; Bellamy silently retreated from the room.

His pace through the ark quickened, the air around him was becoming so thin it was non-existent. He began to run until he was outside the Ark. He stopped abruptly bending over with his hands on his knees attempting to catch his breath. His chest had the weight of an elephant on it, and his eyes were burning with tears. He tried to regain control of his breathing. Against his will, his eyes looked out across the camp toward the gate.

He shook his head frustrated when he realized where he had been looking then moved his eyes to the ground below him. _Just fucking breath_ he thought to himself as he continued his attempts to regain control of himself.  The lack of oxygen and the compounding cluster of thoughts and emotions in his head which forced him to fall backward onto his butt. His elbows propped on his knees and his hands buried his face.

 _What was Abby saying?_ he thought to himself, attempting to replay the conversation. “I know my daughter” his head was spinning, “this will destroy her.” He tried to grasp hold of the underlying message she was giving to him, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“She’s gone” everything suddenly stopped……that was it.

His head shot up, his hands slowing dragging down his face, his breathing slowed to a halt as he realizes that was it.

“She’s gone” he heard it again hauntingly in his head.

His heart became so heavy that it dropped forcefully through him. His face paled and his eyes glazed over with the realization that Clarke was never coming back.


	3. The Cost of Forgiveness

*Clarke*

She opened her eyes and moved her hand to cover her pounding head, only her hand wouldn’t move.  She looked up and saw the shackles extending her arms above her head attaching her wrists to the wall behind her. She tugged, but the shackled held tight. She tried to move into a better position but quickly discovered that her legs were in the same predicament. _What the hell?_ She questioned herself.  She looked around the room…. She recognized it…she was in mount weather.

Footsteps nearing caught her attention and straightened her body to stand as tall and strong as she could. However, she was not expecting the person who controlled those steps.

“Emerson” she gasped as he entered the room.

“Last time I heard you say that was moments before you killed all of my people” he snarled condescendingly.

Her breaths became heavier as she waged an internal battle, should she fight back?

“I saw the graves” he continued half-heartedly. He rapidly closed the distance between them, “you dug them?” he accused.

Clarke couldn’t find words so she nodded. He turned away from her and grabbed something off a nearby table. She watched hesitantly, unsure of how to react. Her mind screamed at her to fight back, but her tormented heart locked her frozen in place.

“So you thought that you would just bury them…all of them….and that would say what?” he looked at her questioningly. “Grant you absolution” he growled. Clarke looked to the floor, is that why she had done it…were her motives that selfish…she wondered.

“Hmmph,” he snarled as he sauntered back to her.

“So…where’s the rest of you?” he questioned.  “All that _precious_ friend of yours….” He dipped down to meet her eyes which were locked on the floor.

“Where are they Clarke?” he demanded with his arms dramatically opening wide.

“Safe” she snapped as she glared up at him

He sucked in his left cheek and raised his eyebrows as he nodded. “You know where _my_ people are Clarke?” he snapped back coldly at her as he brought a knife to her throat. His eyes bore into her, but she did not fight back….nor did she avert her eyes.

He took a breath and a few steps back, now pacing the room in front of her.

“Here’s what I think,” he said toying with the knife in his hand. 

“I think, you’re alone here.” He continued to pace. “I think you are responsible,” He stopped pacing and looked at her, “and I think, I have nothing left but to make you pay until the day I die,” He said with a calm that would send chills down the devil's spine.

Clarke didn’t fight, though, she didn’t plead. She was simply there.

He came in front of her, “let’s start by learning their names, shall we?” he ordered harshly. “Megan,” he said as he punched her chin, “Sara,” another blow came to face, “Casey” he punched her stomach forcefully removing the air from her lungs.

She stood there, no attempt to block the blows, the only tears she had been for the names she heard.  The only thought she could muster outside of their names was _I deserve this_

*Bellamy*

Two weeks had passed since his talk with Abby. He now sat in his third council meeting, having the same debate they had had to exhaustion during the previous one.

“We should go; it’s full of supplies we could use. Especially with winter underway”, Abby insisted.

“We could move in there,” Kane suggested. Abby and Bellamy starred at him….more like glared at him.

“Okay, I know it’s not ideal and we lost some of the hundred in there, but it would provide us shelter from whatever winter can bring” Kane argued.

“Sure, let’s go live where our people were tortured and killed” Bellamy scoffed sarcastically, “Maybe Jasper can sleep in Mayas bed.”  Abby and Kane both shot him a disapproving look.

“That mountain is filled with death, not just the bodies that are there now, but over a century of grounders before us that were murdered so they could live.” Abby sighed heavily, “I don’t think that’s the best place for us to start our new lives on Earth”. Kane took a moment to considering her words then nodded in agreement.

“I see your point,” Kane continued, “But we at least should go back and see what supplies are in there that could be useful to us.” Abby nodded in agreement along with Bellamy.

“It’s going to be difficult to find a team that will go in there” Abby added hesitantly.

“I’ll go,” Bellamy said, “I will put together the team.”

Kane nodded at him, “keep it small and gather the supplies we can use into a one area near the entry. Then we’ll send a larger group to retrieve them….No sense in making any extra people go far into the mountain.”

Bellamy nodded and left to assemble his team.

*Clarke*

She awoke to her chest pressed into the wall in front of her. Her body was covered in freezing water that was dripping down from her head across her body.

“It’s getting harder to wake you” Emerson snarled at her. The she heard a loud crack and pain sliced into her back.  “I told you, you will _live_ through this! Because my people are _dead!_ ” he snarled at her then another crack and more pain.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy approached Miller first.  “Hey, I’m going back into Mount Weather to assemble the supplies we can utilize….are you good to come with me?” Miller nodded. “Good, I’ll let you know when we’re heading out.” Bellamy turned and walked toward the ark.

Wick looked up at him when he entered the room. “How’s it going?” he asked.

“Good, I’m leading a group to Mount Weather and-” Wick cut him off, “I’m in.”

“Okay….I want Raven too, you two can sort through their technology and see what we can use.”

“I’m in,” Raven said as she hobbled into the room. Wick looked at her then to Bellamy, “you can’t walk across camp how are you going to make it Mount Weather?” Raven glared at him.

“I can go through ex-” Raven cut Wick off, “I’m going damn it.”

Bellamy looked between the two as they glared at each other. He sighed “look we don’t have to go today, let’s wait a week….think you’ll be strong enough then?” he asked Raven. “Fine” she barked at him

*Clarke*

“WAKE UP!” Emerson shouted as he threw a bucket of ice cold water on her, burning her skin as it cascaded down her. Clarke forced her eyes open, it took all the energy she had. 

Emerson growled and huffed across the room, then came toward her. “You know, I’m growing tired of this,” he said squeezing her face in his hand.

“Your lack of a fight was fun in the beginning, but now….now you’re just giving up” he glared at her squeezing her face tighter and tighter. Her bones were bruising from the power of his grip, but she had no desire or strength to react.

He threw her face to the side as he removed his hand. Emerson walked to a nearby table and grabbed a glass of water; he came to her and grabbed her face once more forcing her mouth open. “Drink” he commanded and poured the water down her throat.

“Remember Clarke, you don’t get to die until _I_ decide” he whispered to her.

Once the glass was empty, he stepped back. “Since you won’t fight back, I think I’ve found a new way to get my retribution” he scoffed as he walked toward the door and left her alone in the dark.

Clarkes head dropped from its own weight, she hadn’t fought back. She wouldn’t fight back. She deserved everything he had done to her. This was her fate, her destiny.

Her people were safe. Safe from grounders, safe from mountain men, safe from _her_. She had no more reason to fight. With those thoughts floating through her head, she fell back into a deep unconscious sleep.

*Bellamy*

He found Monty by the fire, with his now regular cup of moonshine. Sorrow had consumed Monty for the weeks following mount weather. He hadn’t smiled or worked, he just sat by the fire. Sometimes Monroe could get him to eat, but it wasn’t the same Monty.

Jasper hadn’t spoken to him since their return either. He avoided him at all costs and glared at him on the off occasion that he couldn’t avoid him.  Then again, Jasper hadn’t spoken much to anyone in that time.

It was destroying Monty.

Bellamy approached him carefully, he didn’t know if Monty would be up for a trip to Mount weather.

“Hey,” Monty quietly greeted him. “Hey,” Bellamy looked at him, his eyes filled with concern. It took him a moment to find the right words.

“I’ll go” Monty quietly said then looked up at him. Bellamy nodded “good”. He sat there with Monty for a while; attempting to comfort him in a peaceful silence.

*Clarke*

 _Open_ Clarke commanded internally to her eyes, but they wouldn’t. She wasn’t sure it was because of the pain, or the swelling, or the exhaustion, but they wouldn’t open. She tried to take in a deep breath but pain shot through her lungs and they wouldn’t expand.

 _How long has he been gone_ she thought to herself? _Does it matter_ …?

_He’s probably left me here to die_

She was content with that thought.  Somehow comforted by the thought of him deciding she had been beaten to the point of resolution. _He’s punished me, and now it’s time. He’s found his peace maybe…._ she drifted out of consciousness before she could complete her thought.

 


	4. Abandoned Battalefields

*Bellamy*

As they approached the door to Mount Weather the field in front of it was littered with mounds of dirt….graves. There were at least twenty of them; they encompassed the entire field before them. Everyone in the group scanned the terrain inquisitively.

“Who did this?” Miller whisper to Bellamy, “do you think some of them survived?” he looked concerned.

Bellamy sucked in a heavy breath and continued walking to the door, “Clarke” the name was barely audible, but it reverberated through all of them.

Miller looked back at the others, to confirm they had heard. The pale faces that gazed back at him was all the confirmation he needed.  They slowly followed Bellamy silently into the mountain.

The eerie silence haunted the group, leaving them to only hear their own hearts beating. None of them spoke as they made their way through the abandoned hallways. Each of them was left to battle their fears silently within themselves.

Bellamy led Raven, Wick and Monty to the control room so they could scavenge for technical supplies.

Monty stopped in his tracks and stared at the blood stained floor. He looked up at Bellamy, sadness and fear filling his eyes then he took off for the dining hall.  Bellamy stood for a moment staring back at the blood-stained floor where Dante Wallace had been shot.

 _She buried him_ he thought to himself. His eyes darted around the room as he came to the same conclusion Monty had moments earlier…there were at least twenty graves at the entry…he stormed off to the dining hall. The rest of his team was already in the large entryway, staring into the empty room in shock and disbelief.

Bellamy barreled down the corridor after Monty; they didn’t have time for this they needed to get what they came for any leave. _No one needs to relive_ –his thoughts were cut short when he walked smack into Monty, who had abruptly stopped.  The rest of the group was frozen just staring…but what at.

Bellamy pushed past them and discovered the empty room.  He halted briefly then frantically searched the room. Running from each corner to the next, shifting between the tables.

He looked onto the group that was staring at him, their eyes pleading for an answer other than the one they already knew.

“You don’t think she-” Miller couldn’t finish his thought aloud. “I mean…she couldn’t have” he stammered through the thought. “There’s no way she…..buried them _all,_ ” he said in disbelief, trying to convince himself. The last part of his comment had trailed off, almost inaudible.

“There’s no electricity- the elevators…. she would have had to carry each one of them up the stairs,” Monty said slowly and quietly as he cautiously made his way through the room. His mind clouded deep in thought.

Suddenly his eyes glazed over in an icy stare as he shot a menacing look at Bellamy. Bellamy caught the look and he froze. The reality of it washed over him and he felt like he could break.

Silence filled the room the empty room

“Monty-Wick and I aren’t gonna be the only one doing all the damn work” Raven declared loudly as she approached the group. “What’s going on guys?” she said casually then slowly made her way through them and into the room. “What the hell?” she said abruptly. “Uh….where’d they go?” 

Monty’s icy glare had not left Bellamy when he responded, “Clarke,” he said as he pushed past the group and headed back to the control room.

Raven laughed “no, she couldn’t-” she searched their faces, “there had to be a hundred of them” her smile was slowly fading from her face. Again she looked between each of them, “come on guys, we only saw like twenty graves”. She said have jokingly attempting to convince them of the absurdity of their thoughts.

“That we saw” Monroe interjected quietly. “There’s more than one entrance.”

Raven chewed on that thought for a moment then “okay, but St-” Bellamy cut her off

“We have work to do, get what we came for” he barked at the group and they scattered. Raven stood still, “you think she’s here,…just living down here?” Raven questioned. 

“What in her own personal hell?” he growled back at her.

“It is Clarke…” Raven murmured then walked back to help Monty.

Bellamy wouldn’t let himself believe that she could be alive; he came to terms with that weeks ago. She may have been stubborn and calculating, but she was never as physically strong as the rest. There was no way she had survived over a month on her own. Yet here he stood, starting to allow the idea of her- _No_ he scolded himself while he attempted to shake the thought from his head as walked out of the room.

He made his way to the dormitory. He knew no one else wanted to face the room where they had lost so many friends, and some of them tortured themselves. He took that responsibility on himself.  As he rounded the hall corner, he heard something a small noise but dismissed it.

He came to the door and found a chain around the handles and a padlock. “What the hell?” he asked aloud

 _Maybe Clarke wanted to lock away that room after she buried all the_ …he shuddered at the thought of her hauling the bodies up, one at a time. _There were men that weighed twice as much as her, and she …._   _FOCUS_ he commanded himself.

He searched around different adjacent rooms for something to break the lock with until he found an ax. He slammed the ax down on the lock and it crashed loudly to the floor. He untangled the chains from the handles and pulled the doors open. 

He walked into the dark room and flung his flashlight to the left and began searching that side of the room. He found a table and skimmed it with his eyes. _Nothing useful_ he thought.

He moved on to the table in the center of the room; dragging his reluctant eyes slowly from the floor to the table top. He stared at it, the table that he had seen Raven and Abby strapped to, and his fingers gingerly running over it as his mind traced the memory. The table some of the 47 had died on, he withdrew his fingertips from it as if it burned him. He took a heavy breath and set his flashlight on the table facing upward, providing enough light for searching the rest of the room. He looked down to the left then back up across the right side of the room quickly. He turned to look at something on the table but stopped abruptly.

_What was that?_

He slowly lifted his eyes retracing the path they just took until he found what he was looking for. His throat closed making it impossible for him to swallow; his heart plummeted through his body and into the ground.

He couldn’t move

He was completely frozen as he took in the heartbreaking sight before him. Her body chained to the wall. Her clothes shredded, her skin taught over each and every bone in her body. Her body riddled with bruises and cuts, scars, dried blood…so much blood. Her head hung down and her knees buckled under her weight. The blood stained shackles on her wrists were the only thing holding her upright. He could see the blood streaking from her wrists dripping down onto the floor beneath them.

“Clarke” he choked out. He didn’t expect a response; it was obvious that the lifeless body in front of him was merely a hollow shell of his partner.

She was gone.

Dead.


	5. Bittersweet Reunion

*Bellamy*

He stood there for what felt like hours, unable to move.

“Bellamy we’re ready to head out” his radio interrupted him. The noise brought him back from his frozenness. He slowly lifted it to his mouth, not once taking his eyes off her body.

“Copy” he replied the radio shaking in his hand.

He hesitantly moved toward her, but every step felt like he was drudging his entire body through a mud pit. His muscles locked and unwilling to move, his legs held the weight of an elephant.  His body rejecting the notion of getting close enough to touch her.

He somehow made it to her.

He stood in front of her, only inches between them, “God Princess” he sighed out of his lungs, his eyes brimming with tears as they searched her over.

He reached up to cup her cheek; he needed to see her face. Her hair formed a curtain around her head blocking her face from view.

He had to see her face.

If he could just look at her, it would be okay. _She can’t be_ he wouldn’t let himself finish the, though, her face would confirm it for him. Her face that was always full of some kind of emotion would banish the devastating thoughts swirling within him.

He knew with every fiber of his being that it was her, but his body betrayed him into believing it wasn’t. That simply pulling her head up would reveal that it wasn’t her. Or if it was her, that she was alive.

His shaky hand held gently below her chin, her skin cold beneath it. He held her cheek as he lifted her head slowly, carefully, timidly.

He gasped and nearly dropped her head once he saw her face, it was her. There was no denying it now.

His eyes raked over her body. This close up he was privy to every cut and bruise on her. Every imperfection and torturous marking carved into her pale skin.

He swallowed hard.  He never let himself imagine what Clarke had done when she left. He had done everything he could to push it from his thoughts. Somewhere within him he doubted she had made it, but this…how could he have not looked for her. _She was right here all along-she was…wait….how had she been chained to the wall…_ his mind went back to the chains and lock on the door his eyes followed suit. 

As the revelation that she had been held here, tortured here washed over him he slowly brought his eyes back to her. “Princess” the word pleaded out from his mouth.

“Bellamy!” Raven barked through the radio, but he couldn’t hear it. “Damn it Blake it’s time to go” she barked again. Moments pass “I will leave your ass here Blake”.

He heard none of it. He suddenly couldn’t stand to look at her anymore, not like this. Not chained up like some animal. He franticly assessed her. He looked at the shackles on her wrists, then looks down to her feet. He scanned the room for something to break them with. There was a set of keys lying on the table to his left, he looked back at her and gently guided her head back down then retrieved his hand. His heart sinking further with each inch her head dropped. He ran for the keys then back to her, dropping to her feet.

“Blake where the fuck are-” Raven barked as she entered the room but sharply stopped as she took in the sight of Clarke. “Oh- my –God” she slowly gasped out. 

“Did you find him?” Octavia asked as she rounded the corner. She too was frozen in place.

Bellamy was trying to control his shaking hands enough to get the key into the lock while the girls took in the sight of Clarke’s lifeless body hanging by her wrists.

Miller was the next to arrive, “seriously guys, what’s the hold…..up” he finished as he walked through the doorway next to them. He dashed over to Bellamy breaking through the invisible wall that seemed to be preventing the girls from moving.

 “I need to get her down” Bellamy pleaded frantically. He seemed to be able to control his hands now and unlocked her left ankle. He gently peeled the shackle off of her ankle.

“Clarke!” Monty gasped from the doorway. Everyone seemed to have made it to the room now. Monty slowly came toward her, terrified, as if walking to his own death.

Bellamy freed her right ankle and moved to her right wrist.

He swallowed hard as he realizes the restraint was buried deep in her wrist. He slowly peeled the shackle out of her flesh leaving a deep gaping wound behind, blood trickling down her skin. He gently draped her arm over his shoulder and pressed his weight against her to hold her up as he handed the keys to Miller to finish with her other wrist. Miller peeled the shackle out of her wrist and followed Bellamy’s queue by wrapping her arm around him. Bellamy reached down a pulled her kneed over his arms and turned to leave.

The others parted in the doorway making room for him and idly followed him out of mount weather.

As they left, Bellamy gazed over the graves again, then back at Clarke. His heart tore apart inside him. Even his thoughts were silenced at this moment. The others found a stretcher to carry her on. “Bel” Octavia broke the silence and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He looked d down at Clarke’s lifeless body in his arms and squeezed it tight against his chest. _How could this happen_ he thought? He felt like if he held her close enough that it would make it all go away. Like somehow he could protect her from her already appointed fate.

“Bel,” Octavia said a bit louder and guided him to the stretcher.

He looked back down at Clarke, and then gingerly placed her body onto the stretcher. He walked next to her the entire time, gun in hand. He wouldn’t allow himself to look at her. He couldn’t protect her then, but at least now he could get her body back to her mother.

After a few hours he knew the others needed a break, when they came to a spring he decided to let them have it. “Let’s take a break” he commanded quietly. He gently pulled Clarkes body from the stretcher and placed her on the water’s edge. He sat next to her, pushing and peeling the hair from her blood stained face.

No one had spoken a word since they had left the mountain. They shared the same shock, the same disbelief, the same guilt….well not all of them. No one’s guilt could match Bellamy’s.

The others quietly broke apart, some filling canteens, others sitting. Most not taking their eyes of Clarke’s body. Others refusing to look at it, attempting to pretend it wasn’t there.

Bellamy pulled a piece of cloth from his sack and dipped it into the water, Monty quietly approached. Bellamy looked up at him, broken, “I-I should clean her up…..her mom shouldn’t-” he attempted to stammer out, but the words escaped him. Monty nodded gently and went to look for another cloth so he could help.

Bellamy pulled her body close to the spring and held her face softly as he gently wiped her forehead with the cloth. He continued to dip the cloth in the water and worked his way slowly around her face. Each stroke revealing her to him a little bit more. He was desperate for that recognition. Like if he somehow could just see her face through all the blood that she would smile back at him. At the same time, he was terrified of that recognition. Each tiny piece of pale skin revealed the understanding that she wasn’t going to smile back at him…..ever.

Still he pressed on, gently wiping her forehead, then her cheeks. Pushing slightly at the dried blood, forcing it gently from her.

He was wiping her lips when her eyebrows scrunched together; he withdrew his hands quickly as the air escaped his lungs.

 _Impossible_ he thought, _you’re losing it,_ _Blake_. He made it up; _it couldn’t have happened_ …he chastised himself to try to regain control over his thoughts.

He placed the cloth back in the water then went back to work. A deep moan lightly rattled in her throat and he jumped.  Shock captivated his body and he couldn’t move.

Her eyes fluttered for a moment, and then finally opened.

“C-Clarke?” he breathed. Still unable to let himself believe that it was real, but unable to let go of the fantasy of it.

Her eyes squinted, she hadn’t seen the sun in over a month and now it burned her eyes. She looked up at him, tilting her head to the side.

Monty returned with the cloth and froze as he looked at her, the cloth dropping from his hands.

Raven noticed the two and came over to them, “Holy shit” she gasped.

Bellamy’s eyes fixated on Clarkes as if he was trying to memorize every shade of blue in them in case this wasn’t real. In case this was just his mind playing tricks on him, he just wanted to be able to remember every line, every color in her eyes.

He dropped his cloth and reached to brush her hair back and rub his thumb over her cheek, “Clarke” he said so lovingly, so soft he didn’t even recognize his own voice.

Clarke’s eyes shifted from each of the people standing over her trying to take it all in. She attempted to sit up, but pain seared through her abdomen and arms denying her the movement. Bellamy’s arms snaked around her gently and helped her to sit; propping her on the boulder behind her.

“Holy shit” Miller proclaimed as his canteen crashed to the ground. Her eyes slowly turned to him; she tilted her head as she scanned each one of them.  Then turned her head to face the spring, her forehead scrunched together, _this isn’t right_ she thought shaking her head. She wasn’t in the dormitory anymore, this place was nice. The ground was soft. The sun was warm on her body. Her thoughts stopped suddenly, this is not where she’s supposed to be.

“Emerson?” her hoarse voice called out.

Bellamy’s face hardened instantly, “did he do this to you?” he questioned cupping her face gently in his hand. Trying to get her to look at him, but not wanting to force her.

Her eyes flew across each of them again, this time consumed with panic. Her breathing became rapid and shallow. She tried to get to her feet, but Bellamy gently held her down “you’re okay, I’m here now, he can’t hurt you” he said reassuringly.

The panic overtook her body she looked for an escape…the spring; she swung her legs into it and jumped to her feet walking backward in the waist deep water away from them. Adrenaline coursing through her veins enabling her every movement.

She had moved too fast for anyone to stop her. The entire group was now gathered with the rest trying to comprehend her resurrection and subsequent actions.

Her eyes were darting between them all in horror, still backing away, the water hovering just below her breasts now.

Bellamy hadn’t hesitated and he was in the water slowly coming toward her, “Clarke” he said gently but firmly, trying to catch her attention.

“Its okay” he moved closer as she continued to wade back, “you’re safe,” he said attempting to corral her to a corner of the small spring.

Fear plagued her eyes as she frantically looked for another escape. Her body filled with trepidation as she found herself being cornered.

“Its okay” he kept repeating, with his arms outstretched, closing the distance between them. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her into his chest, but her hands stayed guarded over her chest “Emerson!” she screamed, her voice so hoarse that the word barely squeaked out.

Bellamy stepped back slightly but didn’t release her. _Why was she calling for_ _him_? He thought. He didn’t allow himself a second thought of it. Instead, he pulled her tight into his embrace. 

She was alive, and he wasn’t ever letting her go again.

She trembled beneath him crying, “Please no” she sobbed attempting to push against him. He held her tight, trying to make sense of it all. He rested his chin on her head, needing somehow to steady himself from her reaction. “I’m sorry Clarke, I’m so sorry” he whispered above her.

Her arms pushed him “Stop…please stop” she begged to try to fight him off, but she was no match for his strong arms.

“Clarke, Clarke” he pleaded. He gently pushed her against nature's wall behind her then gently grabbed her face, “look at me” he pulled his right arm around her waist tight as his left hand gently force her face up.

“I can’t be here” her eyes filled with tears as the words crossed her cracked lips. He held her close staring into her eyes searching them for a solution. “Its ok-” she cut him off “I don’t _deserve_ to be here,” she said firmly as the tears poured out of her eyes. Whatever was left of Bellamy’s heart was now in shambles. His hand moved from her face to the back of her head as he pulled her a tight as he possibly could to him, tears silently streaming down his face.


	6. Guilt

The others had watched the scene with Clarke unfold.  None of them moving, or speaking, just watching….attempting to comprehend the situation.

Bellamy felt Clarke go limp in his arms and pulled away just enough to see that she was sleeping. Her body had finally run out of adrenaline and collapsed with exhaustion. His embrace was the only thing holding her on her feet. He dipped down and pulled her knees over his arm then carried her back to shore.

“There’s a bunker near here,” he said walking past the remains of the group. “Let’s get her there for the night; we won’t make it to camp before sunset.” The others followed him obediently, each silently engrossed with their own guilt and thoughts. 

They hiked for an hour and found the bunker. Bellamy climbed down first to make sure it was safe, it was. He found some candles on the table and lite they then went back to the opening to receive the limp Clarke from Miller.  The others climbed in behind him.

Bellamy carried her over to a bed and was about to place her on it when Monty blocked him “wait” he said.  “Her clothes are soaked; she’ll need those blankets dry so she won’t freeze.”

Bellamy looked down at the still unconscious Clarke and nodded. He looked back up at Monty “look around for some dry clothes”.

He looked back at Monroe and Raven; “we need to get her out of these…” he said then looked at Miller and Wick with a silent command. They followed suit and turned around.

Raven slowly approached and looked at Clarke. Monroe and Raven went to work, each taking a boot in hand and prying them from Clarkes feet as gentle as possible. Bellamy then tilted Clarke and placed her feet on the ground, now hugging her from behind and supporting her body weight.

Raven unbuttoned Clarke’s pants and tried to pull them down, but there were too many tears in them, too many places where the fabric had embedded itself into wounds on her legs. She looked up at Bellamy, “I need to cut them off”. He nodded. She pulled a knife from her pocket and slowly cut the fabric from Clarke’s legs, wincing as she pulled pieces of the fabric that were embedded deep in her wounds. It took her a while but eventually she cut away the last remains of Clarke’s pants. She stood up and looked at Clarkes shirt, it was tattered and torn…there really wasn’t much left of it. She shifted her gaze back to Bellamy, “just cut it” he said, and she did.

Raven stepped back, now next to Monroe, as they took in the sight of Clarke in just her underwear. Her body was completely bruised and beaten, her ribcage protruding out of her chest. Their once fearless leader held before them, mostly naked and too weak to awaken. Raven looked away sharply, unable to take in the sight of her anymore. She moved to the bed and pulled the blankets down.  “We’ll worry about her clothes in the morning,” she said. Bellamy place Clarke gently down on the bed and Raven covered her with the blankets. Bellamy sat next to Clarke’s waist, facing her head. 

He was terrified that if he looked away from her that she would somehow disappear. 

Monty came from the back of the bunker, “I found these, even found some boots…they look like they should fit”. He gently placed the clothes on the nightstand.

The hatch in the ceiling opened and Octavia climbed down, “Lincoln and I caught a few rabbit’s, he’s got them over the fire now” she informed the group. They nodded and climbed up the ladder to retrieve their dinner.  Raven stopped and looked back at Bellamy and Clarke, “I’ll bring you some” she said kindly then climbed out.

Octavia moved toward her brother, looking over his shoulder at Clarke. She swallowed hard, not sure what she should say at that moment. “What-” she paused “what did she say in the spring? Did she say why-”? He interrupted her “Emerson”.

Octavia’s eyes narrowed and she circled to the front of him, “Emerson?”

Bellamy shook his head and fought desperately to keep the tears in his eyes at bay. Octavia embraced him in a tight hug, and he broke. The tears flowing freely now. “She’ll be okay.You found her” Octavia comforted him. He pulled away from her and gained control over his tears, “I shouldn’t have let her go” he replied sternly.

 “You should go eat” he commanded with the same sternness.

“I will, you go first, I’ll stay with her.”

He looked at Clarke and placed his hand on her leg, “I’m not leaving her”. His reply with filled with conviction, but quiet just the same.

Octavia nodded and looked down at Clarke. “You didn’t do this Bel,” she said and she placed her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t look at her, his eyes just continued to scan over Clarke as if he was searching for something.

Octavia walked away, and Raven returned with a piece of the meat. She squatted in front of Bellamy and handed it to him. He shook his head. “She needs you strong-eat,” she said shoving the meat at him this time. Bellamy took hold of it but didn’t move to actually eat it.

“Do I need to put it in your mouth for you?” Raven quipped with a smirk after a few minutes. His eyes shot up to hers.

“She’s not going to disappear if you eat it.” He looked down at the meat and took an oversized bite. “Happy?” he said with his mouth full. She smiled back at him.

They sat there quietly as he ate.

“There are a few beds along that hall, and there’s a couch. Everyone should fit” he told her. She nodded, and then looked down at Clarke. “She’s shivering,” she said jumping to her feet. “Find more blankets” he snapped at her. She darted off before he had finished saying it.

Bellamy tucked the blankets she had tightly around her, but she kept shaking her dry lips a new shade of blue. He thought for a minute then climbed over her and lay behind her pulling her into his arms tightly. He held her like that for a few minutes, then she finally stopped shaking, and her breathing returned to normal.

“I found these,” Raven said as she reappeared with a few blankets.

“She’s fine now, make sure everyone has one,” he muttered so he wouldn’t disturb Clarke.

Raven nodded and began dispersing the blankets in each of the beds.

The others gradually made their way back into the bunker and found places to sleep. Monty lay down on the couch a few feet from Clarke and Bellamy. Miller and Lincoln took to two large chairs by the hatch.

As the night grew on, Bellamy held onto Clarke tightly. Memorizing her breathing pattern so he would know if something was wrong. He consciously thought of each part of her that was touching him so he would know if they moved at all. He kept her tucked in his arms all night, his eyes only closing to blink.

*The next morning*

Bellamy watched as the others slowly woke. Each of them coming to look over Clarke, his grip on her unrelenting.  Miller kneeled in front of them. “Go eat, we’ll leave when everyone’s fed,” Bellamy said. Miller nodded and motioned for the others to follow.

Clarke began to stir under his arms. She whimpered, it took everything he had not to melt from the sound of it. “Shh,” he said as he held her. She whimpered and stirred a few more times but then settled down, and fell back asleep.

Monty climbed down the later and kneeled beside the bed, “here” he said offering a piece of meat to Bellamy.

Bellamy looked at Clarke then pulled himself up and sat against the wall beside her head. He slowly ate the meat while Monty looked over Clarke. “What do you think happened?” he asked looking up to Bellamy. Bellamy shook his head, wishing he had an answer for Monty, but he didn’t.  “I don’t know” he answered sounding defeated. “What are you going to tell Abby?” Monty prodded. 

Bellamy sighed. _What am I going to tell Abby_ he thought to himself. Abby had wanted to send search parties after Clarke the week after she left, but he had insisted that she needed her time. He knew Abby only agreed because she thought Clarke would never come back on her own, and Bellamy gave her the hope that she might.

Bellamy finished his food and asked Monty to get Raven to come dress, Clarke. Monty nodded and climbed out of the bunker.

Bellamy shifted himself over Clarke gently, and kneeled by her face, brushing the hair from her eyes. _What happened to you, Princess?_ He thought to himself.

“Let’s get our girl dressed and get her home” Raven chimed as she dropped from the ladder. Bellamy stood and bent down for Clarke. He pulled her into a seated position and sat next to her holding her upright. Raven sat at her feet pulling her legs through the pants, then getting her socks and shoes in place. “Stand her up,” she said as she rose to her feet. Bellamy pulled Clarke up and in front of him, hugging her from behind. Raven laughed slightly at the way he moved her, “Our Princess is a ragdoll” she joked trying to lighten the mood.

Bellamy tilted his head disapprovingly at her and she quickly took the hint. She pulled Clarkes pants around her waist and fastened them. She reached over to the nightstand to grab her shirt when she was hit in her thigh.

Clarke had woken up and was panicked…thrashing about in Bellamy’s strong arms. Raven jumped away completely baffled by the outburst. “Clarke!” Bellamy called still with his iron-clad grip around her waist “Clarke calm down!” Her eyes were wide and panic streaked. “Bellamy?” she asked hesitantly and stopped thrashing about.

“It’s me, it's okay,” he said reassuringly as he turned her in his arms to face him, now only gently holding her bare shoulders.

She looked at him; the way he had wanted her to look at him since she first came woke up in the spring. She looked like Clarke, gazing into his eyes for approval and understanding….and….something else. His heart melted and a smile began to form on his face.

The moment didn’t last, though. As quick as the panic had left her eyes it returned….she started backing away from him slowly “where am I?” she asked in a scratchy voice looking around.

“A bunker, a few hours from Camp Jaha. We’re heading back there now, Raven was helping dress you” he said calmly.

Clarke’s eyes darted around the bunker and landed on Raven, who looked at her as though she were a ghost. “Your clothes were wet…and torn, we found these here” Raven told her slowly handing her the shirt. Clarke backed away from her with fear in her eyes that was slowly being accompanied by tears.

“This isn’t real,” she said, now backing into the hallway that led further into the bunker. Bellamy and Raven stayed back, trying to give her some space.

Clarke shook her head, “I shouldn’t be here” she said staring at them. Bellamy started slowly coming towards her. “Clarke, its okay-you’re safe.” Her eyes leaped from her head, and her heart began racing. She shook her head as the tears streamed down her face then she turned and ran down the hall. Bellamy not far behind her, but not stopping her either. Raven trailed behind Bellamy

Clarke grabbed a glass from a table and smashed it to the ground. Bellamy and Raven stood back and watched the scene unfold before them. Neither one of them knew what was happening, or what to do. Clarke grabbed a piece of the broken glass and tore into the inside of her forearm. Bellamy lunged at her grabbing her from behind and holding her wrist out “drop it” he barked and shook her wrist trying to force the glass from her hand.

Clarke dropped the glass and bounced to the floor, Bellamy with her, still holding her. Raven grabbed a nearby towel and shredded a piece off. She walked cautiously to Clarke and kneeled in front of her. She grabbed the arm the Clarke had cut, and then Clarke grabbed her arm, “Is this real?” Clarke asked frantically.

Raven looked up at Bellamy, desperately searching his eyes for the right words. Bellamy looked down at Clarke trembling in his arms. “Clarke it’s real, we’re here….we found you. It’s going to be okay” he assured her. Clarkes head started shaking again, “I shouldn’t be here” she cried over and over. Bellamy rocked her in his arms while Raven worked quickly to wrap her new wound.

Octavia entered the room, “hey the guys want to know if you’re ready” she said. Then she noticed the glass and blood and the now conscious Clarke shaking in Bellamy’s arms.

“What the hell happened?” she asked rushing to the floor beside them. Again Raven looked to Bellamy. He just shook his head and looked down at Clarke. She had quieted down but was still trembling and he could still feel her tears falling on his arm. He swallowed hard; he had no idea what to do.

Raven finished with Clarkes arm and gently placed it back towards Clarke’s torso beside her other one. She stood and placed a hand on Octavia’s shoulder, “let’s give her some space” she said. Octavia glanced back to Bellamy and Clarke then stood and left the room with Raven.

When they returned to the main room, everyone else was there. “Is she dressed? Are you guys ready?” Miller asked. Octavia and Raven shared a look.

“What?” Monty asked as he looked between the two of them. Neither girl knew what to say, but their faces betrayed them. Monty’s eyes narrowed and he pushed past them. Octavia tried to grab his arm but she was too late, he was halfway down the hall. Miller was about to follow when Raven stepped into the middle of the hallway blocking it, “give her space” she demanded.  Miller looked at her for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not he should listen. Then he turned around and sat on his chair from the night before.

Bellamy hadn’t taken his eyes off of Clarke since the girls left, he held her, gently rocking her and providing soothing “this.”

Monty stormed into the room and he tore his eyes from Clarke to Monty. “Clarke?” Monty asked, but it was more of a plea than a question.

Clarke stopped shaking and looked up at him. “Monty,” she said so quietly he barely heard it. Monty came and kneeled over the broken glass in front of her. She starred at him for a while then whispered “I’m sorry” her shattered heart breaking with every breath of it.

Monty looked up at Bellamy confused only to be met with the same expression. Monty’s eyes searched around for the glass and then saw the bandage on her arm. “What happened?” he asked quietly.  There was something about Monty’s presence that calmed Clarke, momentarily at least.

“I had to know if it was real,” she murmured.

Bellamy could feel his heart sink to the floor and his chest felt like there was an anvil holding it down against each breath.  Monty’s face melted as he realized what she meant. “Come on, let’s get you on this bed” Monty suggested, wanting to move her away from the glass in case temptation struck again.  She nodded and Bellamy lifted her to her feet and guided her to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and Bellamy stood towering over her. He was not going to let her move without him.

Monty sat next to her. They remained that way for a while. Clarke sitting staring at the floor, Monty stealing glances at her occasionally, and Bellamy towering over her ready to pounce if she moved.

Eventually Raven came back to check on them, shocked when she found Clarke sitting quietly on the bed. “Bellamy” she called to him, motioning with her head for him to come over to her.

He looked at Clarke, he couldn’t leave her…what if she did something again, but Monty seemed to read his thoughts. “Its okay” he assured him. Bellamy walked to Raven but maintained his line of sight on Clarke.

“Has she said anything” Raven inquired.  He shook his head. Raven looked back at Clarke then to Bellamy. “We have to leave soon if we’re going to make it before dark” she informed him. He nodded slightly, he hadn’t realized how much time had elapsed since Clarke had awakened. He licked his lips, trying to figure out exactly what to say. He nodded at Raven then walked back to Clarke, squatting before her. “Hey,” he said quietly. She drew her eyes up to his slowly, and there was peace for a brief moment in them, but it was quickly washed away with the tears that now filled her eyes. He gently held her cheek in his hand, resting the other on her knee. He gently rubbed his thumb over her cheek, wiping stray tears when they came.

Monty quietly moved from the bed to the doorway, “she needs a shirt” he told Raven. Ravens eyes grew large and she sprinted off to get the abandoned piece of clothing.

Clarke’s tears started to slow and Bellamy felt some relief in that as he sat there quietly with her, still holding her cheek and rubbing his thumb over it. He stared into her eyes, trying to give them the comfort they so obviously needed. She stared back into his starving for it. Octavia entered and walked over with her shirt breaking them out of their spell.

Clarke looked up at her. “I can help you” Octavia offered but a harsh realization flooded through Clarke and she quickly withdrew from Bellamy, pulling herself fully onto the bed until she backed into the wall behind her.

Bellamy’s heart broke when she had pulled away from him; he thought he was making some headway with her…but apparently not. Octavia drew her brows together and starring a Bellamy, then back to Clarke. She held out the shirt to Clarke.

Clarke’s eyes were once again beginning to fill with panic, darting around the room. She jumped up on the bed and tried to jump off the head of it, but Bellamy caught her and forced her down on her back on the bed. He straddled her hips with his knees and held her arms.

“What the Hell?” Octavia exclaimed. As she back away from the activity. Raven then pushed her into the hallway and told her to keep everyone out, taking the shirt from her hands.

Clarke fought hard against Bellamy this time, but even at her strongest she was never any match for him. Starved and dehydrated, she was like fighting a feather to him. She tried to get her arms free from his grasp, but he pushed them down on the bed beside her head and hovered over her.

“Clarke its okay” he tried to assure her, but her fear ran so deep she continued to fight. She fought as hard as she could, but her body in its weakened state didn’t last long. “Please,” she begged him through her tear streaked eyes, “What Clarke? What is it? I’ll give you anything” he pleaded with her, tears welling in his eyes.

“I shouldn’t be here,” she said turning her head from him, “take me back.”

Bellamy’s grip on her hands softens as his heart leaped out of his chest. His breaths became labored and hard to take, then he collapsed over her, snaking his one arm under her waist and the other holding her head. He cried silently as he held her, his body shaking. _Why would she want to go back_ the thought continued to recycle through him as he held onto her?

Raven watched in horror, nearly falling backward when she had heard what Clarke said. The only thing that supported her stance was the wall behind her. It took her a few minutes, but once she composed herself, she knew she should leave them.

Raven entered the room where the others sat waiting patiently. “We’re not leaving today,” she said firmly. “What’s going on? Is she okay?” Wick asked coming to her side.

“Monty said she cut herself,” Ravens eyes went to Wick then around to each of the inquiring faces. _Shit_ she thought to herself. She searched for the words. _Clarke wants us to take her back to Emerson…_ no…shouldnot say that… _Clarke went crazy…._ nope that’s no good either.

“Clarke needs some time…..to….adjust” _yep that will work Reyes_ she confirmed to herself.

But judging by the looks on the others faces, that wasn’t enough. _Tough shit_ she mused to herself. She turned to Miller, “If you guys want to head back you can, I think Bellamy and I can get her back”.

“I’m not leaving you,” Wick told her. “I’m not leaving Clarke,” Monty said, the others agreeing with him. “Okay, but for now, let’s minimize the number of people going back there. Everyone will get their time with Clarke…when she’s ready.” With that, everyone resumed what they were doing. Octavia and Lincoln made a plan to hunt for dinner and gather the canteens to refill them.

Raven sat across the table from Monty. “How is she, _really,”_ he asked her low so the others couldn’t hear. Raven avoided his eyes for a moment then looked at him and shook her head. “I think she’s breaking him,” she said. Monty looked shocked. Bellamy had always been strong, unburdened by emotions, and impenetrable. Only once had he shown any fear/hurt and that was when Clarke told him his potential death was “worth the risk.” They all knew he had a soft side for Clarke, but could she really break such a man of steel?

“We should get him out of there, give him a break,” Monty said. “He won’t go for it” Raven shot back.

“Has he even peed since we got here” Monty snapped back. Raven looked at him sympathetically, “the _one_ time he let go of her, she went and cut her arm open….you really think he’s going to leave her” she reasoned.

Monty drew in a deep breath…. “I’ve got an idea,” He said standing and walking to Lincoln.

*Bellamy*

He could feel her breathing even out underneath him, and knew her body had given in to exhaustion once again. He rolled to her side pulling her into his chest, clinging to her. _You’re killing me, Princess,_ he thought.

He hadn’t noticed anyone had entered the room until Monty touched his arm. _How long had he been there_?

“Lincoln and I will stay with Clarke; you should get out of here for a minute. Stretch…drink….pee” he said. Bellamy shook his head looking down at Clarke. Lincoln came and kneeled beside the bed. “Go,” he said. Bellamy's eyes shot up at him angrily. He gripped Clarke like she was the last piece of meat on the planet and Lincoln and Monty were starving for a meal. Lincoln tilted his head and continued to look at him, “better to go while she’s asleep”.

Bellamy looked back at her, sleeping there in his arms. _He has a point_ he thought. He slowly withdrew his arms from her, still looking at her to ensure she didn’t wake. He crawled over her and out of the bed. He stopped to look back down at her, it was only then that he realized she still had no shirt on. “Get some blankets” he barked quietly at Monty. Then he kneeled beside Clarke, looking at her almost bare back. The long gashes that went from one side of her back to the other stood out amongst the numerous wounds. He traced each of her ribs with his eyes until Monty returned and began to cover her. Bellamy pulled the blankets up to her neck. Then locked eyes with Lincoln, silently threatening him until Lincoln placed a hand on his shoulder, “she’ll be fine.” Bellamy looked back at Monty to confirm. Then walked hesitantly down the hall and away from his damaged Princess

 


	7. Travel Plans

Bellamy returned fifteen minutes later feeling refreshed and less disheveled. Clarke was still sleeping when he returned; Monty was sitting on the bed next to her while Lincoln stood at the foot of the bed. “We should head back now….while she’s sleeping,” he told them. Lincoln looked at him his eyebrows drawing together. “If we leave now we’ll make it just after sunset” Bellamy continued.

“We can wait until tomorrow, no ones in a-” Bellamy snapped at Monty “we leave now while she’s asleep.”  Raven entered the room just then and headed to Bellamy, pulling him to the doorway.

“I get what you’re doing, but do you really think it’s a good idea to head out _knowing_ we won’t make it before dark?” she questioned. He ran his hand through his hair and looked back at Clarke.

“We should go while she’s _sleeping”_ he reiterated.

Raven nodded but continued with her argument, “and if she _wakes_ _up_? When it’s _dark_?” Bellamy breathed in a heavy dose of defeat.  “In the morning then,” he said taking Monty’s place on the bed beside Clarkes sleeping form.

Monty, Lincoln, and Raven left the room. Monty had stopped Raven before they joined the others. “Exactly _why_ should we want to travel when Clarke is sleeping?” he inquired. Raven rolled her eyes and tried to walk past him, but he blocked her then back her into the wall.

“Seriously?” She questioned. Monty glared back; he was not going to let this go.

“Look, when Clarke snaps out of it-I don’t want everyone looking at her wrong….so just….let Bellamy and I keep this between us-okay?” Monty took a moment to think over her words. “Please Monty, let this go…..for Clarke…let it go.” Monty backed away; he realized that if Raven Reyes was using the word “please” she had a damn good reason.

“Okay, but we should send someone back to camp-they’ll be wondering where we are” Monty suggested as they continued down the hall.

“You’re right” she replied then caught a glimpse of Miller “Hey Miller!” she barked. Miller looked up from his chair at her. He responded only with a look of half interest and half irritation.

“You and Monroe head back to camp, let them know we’ll be there tomorrow” Raven ordered him then sat at the table pulling out her canteen.

“I’m not leaving,” he said simply as he returned his eyes to the book in front of him.

“ _Yes_ you are” she snapped back, slamming her canteen onto the table, her eyes burning a hole in the side of his head. “Pretty sure I’m not,” he said smiling, but never looking at her.

Raven jumped from her seat and marched to the front of his chair, ripping the book from his hands in the process. Miller was on his feet in an instant and eagerly partook in the glaring contest the two were now engaged in.  “ _You_ don’t give me orders” he snapped at her.

Wick made his way over to the pair and gentle put his hands on Ravens shoulders. She tried to shrug them off, but he maintained his hold on her.

“What’s going on?” barked a throaty voice from the hallway. “I was just telling Miller that he and Monroe should head back to camp so they don’t go looking for us” Raven snarled, still glaring into Millers eyes-their faces only inches apart.

“Good idea, Wick you should go too. It will be dark when they arrive, safety in numbers” Bellamy said from his position in the hallway, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

Miller forced himself to break away from the heated glares of Raven to look at Bellamy. He drew in a sharp breath trying to reel in his anger and nodded to him. The three grabbed their packs and were on their way. Wick stopped to warn Raven to be careful and gave her a quick kiss.

Bellamy turned back down the hallway making his way back to the back room.  He turned back to Raven, “try to get some sleep now. We’ll need to leave early”. Raven walked towards him, “and if she’s awake?”

Bellamy shook his head, his fears of Clarke’s mental state plaguing his mind.

“Maybe” Raven hesitated, “Maybe we should give her some time” she offered quietly.

Bellamy quickly looked down at her, “time for what?”

“I don’t know, but if she’s-” Raven struggled to find the right words “If she’s this upset now….what will happen when we get her back to camp?”

Bellamy’s face morphed into one of stone as he closed the distance between them. Raven could already feel within her that his wrath was coming, but it never did. By the time he had moved all the way to her his face had softened….he had looked like a lost boy.

“I don’t know how to help her” he admitted softly. Raven looked away from him. The sight of their fearless leader, always stoic and strong suddenly looking so helpless was too much.  After a moment she hesitantly glanced back up at him, he was back. There was not a sign of weakness or doubt in his face now.

“She…..Abby…. once Abby gets her patched up everything will be fine” he stated flatly then resumed his walk down the hallway.

“Or _not_ ” Raven whispered under her breath.  If he had heard it, he chose to ignore it and continued walking. Raven sighed and turned back to the main room. She returned to the table and sat across from Monty.

“We’re gonna have to tie her to the damn stretched,” Raven said with a hint of anger in her voice.   
Monty’s eyes flew to her, “We are _not_ doing that”.

“And if she bolts again?....in the forest…?” Raven stared at him, her anger replaced with sternness.

“It’s Clarke, we can’t just strap her down like a prisoner,” Monty muttered to his canteen.

“We’re going to have to” Raven stated flatly.             

“She wouldn’t do that to us” Monty snapped back. Ravens eyes met him and her head rested back slightly as she sighed. “Yes, she would.”

“No” Monty snapped, the anger that had left Ravens voice now threatening to invade his. Just then Octavia climbed down the ladder, “hey guys-I’ve got dinner on the fire” she boasted proudly. She quickly took notice of the tension between the two and walked over to the table, “what the hell did I interrupt?” she asked bluntly.

Raven tossed her an annoyed look and headed up the ladder without a word. Monty stood brushed past her heading for the hallway.

“Something I said?” Octavia asked to herself then followed Monty.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy hadn’t moved from his chair beside Clarke, Lincoln tried to convince him to sleep, but he brushed him off. Lincoln took residence in the room as well, lying on the bed across from them. 

“You’re not doing it” Monty bravely told Bellamy as he approached him, standing as tall as he could. Bellamy looked up at him bewildered… “Not doing what?”

Monty glanced around the room then back to him, Bellamy took the queue “give us a minute” he told Lincoln and his sister. Octavia was about to refuse when Lincoln guided her out of the room.

Bellamy straightens his back, taking his usual authoritative stance, “Now what am I _not_ going to do” he challenged

Monty’s small frame stood strong before him, “You’re _not_ going to tie her up to take her back”. Bellamy's tilted his head to the side an amused smirk appeared as his eyebrows relaxed.  He didn’t respond, instead stared back at Monty waiting for him to realize the ridiculousness of his suggestion.

It didn’t happen, so after a few minutes he replied, “You _really_ think I would tie her up?” his eyes rolled in sheer amusement as he said it.

“Yes,” Monty stated flatly.


	8. An Unwanted Confession

*Clarke*

Clarke slowly opened her eyes to view the barely lite room. _How long have I been asleep_? She wondered groggily. There wasn’t a part of her body that didn’t scream out in pain, but evidence of her pain couldn’t be found on her face. Her once beaming face was now filled with regret and anguish. Her beautiful blue eyes hazed over by the ghosts that haunt her.

She blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the dim light. She pushed herself up onto her elbows, but the muscles in her stomach only stabbed her with pain. Her weak arms buckled underneath her weight and her body forcing her onto her back. She took the deepest breath she could, frustrated by her body’s betrayal.

“Good try” Bellamy encouraged quietly from his chair next to her. He leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and leaning his weight on them.  She slowly took in the sight of him. _He looks like hell_ she thought to notice the deep blue that shadowed his eyes. His eyes are filled with so much worry she tried not to look at them, but somehow couldn’t resist.

“Want some help?” he offered gently. He spoke to her as if she would break and just dissolve before him. She didn’t answer him; her mouth was so dry it felt like sandpaper. She nodded. He reached under her and pulled her up to the wall so it braced her back. He stood and walked to a nearby table grabbing a canteen from the top of it.

Clarke took notice of his movements. _So deliberate_ she thought. She knew he had subconsciously calculated every step and turn he took, ensuring he remained between her and the door. Before she could finish analyzing his movements he had returned, pushing his chair so he could face her. He gently handed her the canteen and watched as she drank from it.

The water was cool and numbing. She reveled in every crevasse of her mouth that it touched and soothed. The first swallow she took burned her throat, but the burning subsided with each drink of it. She pulled the canteen from her mouth, her lips rubbing together with the drops of water left on them. The moisture pooling into her dry cracked lips.

He gently reached and pulled the canteen from her hands and replaced it with a piece of meat. Clarke gazed upon the meat, analyzing it as if it were a foreign object.  Her thoughts heavy with indecision. Her body hungered for that piece of meat in such a primal way, but her mind forced her body to refuse it.  She lifted her eyes to Bellamy as if he could end this battle. She slowly moved her hand with the meat in it towards him. That action received a look of disappointment on his face. He waited a few moments before he finally spoke. Those moments felt like hours to Clarke, who was still waging a war between her stomach and her heart.

“You _will_ eat” he softly commanded her, disappointment and pity masked the authority in his face.

Clarke held the meat in front of her, eyeing it, loving it, hating it.  Bellamy vanished from her line of sight and all she could see was this scrap of meat. This devilish enemy in front of her.

“Clarke” Bellamy's voice brought her back and she put the meat down in her lap. His head dropped slightly to one side and his jaw tightened. “I can make you,” he said with a gentle gruffness.

Clarke sighed, she knew he could….and would. She raised the meat to her mouth and took a small bite. The flavors hit her tongue and spilled out into her mouth. Her jaw ached every time she chewed, but once she started her body wouldn’t let her stop. Slowly she ate the entire piece.

“Good” Bellamy said with an approving nod.

She glanced over at him and then gazed around the room…they were alone. She felt the canteen back in her hands and before she could refuse it, her body took over and she consumed its contents.  Bellamy took the canteen back and replaced it on the table. He returned holding out a shirt. “I’ll help you” he offered and together they got the shirt onto her.

Bellamy took his place back in his chair, studying her in silence for a while. He wasn’t sure what to say. What to do.

“Your mom will be happy to see you,” he said, his eyes still roaming over her. She looked away from him, shaking her head slightly. “We’re going back to camp today” his gentle voice replaced by his usual throaty one.

It took a while for her to speak, but eventually she did. “I’m not going” it came out just above a whisper but was loud with determination. “I’ve heard that before,” Bellamy said not missing a beat. Her eyes made their way to meet his and she could see a cloud of sadness lingering there.

“Bellamy” her sighed. He sucked in a hard breath, hearing his name cross her lips filled him with so many tangled emotions.  He fought to maintain composure, to maintain control.

“Clarke, it’s over. I don’t know what happened, but it’s over.”

“No….it’s not” she quietly said breaking the connection between their eyes.

“What happened Clarke?” the words came out before he could stop them. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear the truth. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready to hear the truth. Fear and panic filled his heart as he found himself holding his breath until she replied.

She looked up at him, shaking his resolve. Her eyes glazed over with such coldness he barely recognized them, “It needed to happen.” It was the loudest she has spoken since he found her. The words danced through his head as he tried to define their meaning.

“What _exactly_ needed to happen” he pried, again his mouth speaking before his heart could shut it up.

“Don’t do this Bellamy” she warned tearing her eyes from him. His heart caught up with his mouth and now he was entirely driven to discover her secrets. “Clarke,” he said so harshly it came out as a command, her eyes snapped back to his as if following orders.

“I killed them-I _deserved_ it” her small voice breaking with the acknowledgment of her demons.

Bellamy fought every muscle in his jaw to keep it from dropping. He transformed the sinking feeling in his heart into one of anger.   
“How long” his voice was low and gravelly, his eyes narrowing as he leaned closer to her. She shook her head and her gaze moved to her lap.

“I won’t go back with you,” she said with a renewed conviction, her head now facing forward.

“How long” he demanded grabbing her chin forcing her to face him.

She looked into the anger he was forcing into his eyes, but she saw past that. She could see his fear and hurt. For a second she thought about telling him, divulging everything and that could somehow make it all disappear. But that second was fleeting and she knew he couldn’t erase her sins….not like Emerson could.

“Not long enough,” She muttered as her eyes left his before her tears washed the vision of him away.


	9. Acts of Desperation

Bellamy had no recollection of how much time had passed since Clarke’s confession. Neither one of them had moved. His body was weighed down by the words she left hanging between them. His mind was burdened with the task of unraveling her words. _I deserved it_ haunted him _not long enough_ …. _what the hell did that even mean_ he thought. He looked at Clarke; there wasn’t an inch of her body that wasn’t swollen, bruised or bloodied. _Not long enough_ ….How long did she think she had to endure this? How long until she forgave herself….how long- his thoughts came to a screeching halt as he finally realized her intent.

“You wanted him to kill you” he accused.

She looked back at him, tears brimming in her eyes, “don’t you?” she asked softly. Bellamy was taken back by her response. “No!” she looked away, “Clarke! No!” he insisted grabbing her chin again bringing her eyes back to his. He moved from the chair to the bed, sitting in front of her his eyes fused to hers.

He sat there, his eyes pleading with hers. His heart trying to find the words that were recklessly abandoning him now. The resolve in her eyes was now covered in tears, but she sat statuesquely. Her tears flowed over her cheeks, following the curves of her face, but she didn’t move. He glided his hand from her chin to cup her left cheek, his thumb brushing away a few tears.

“You should,” she said pulling her face from his hand and looking at the wall beside them.

“Clarke” he pleaded attempting to hold her face again, but she pushed his hand away.

“Let me go” she begged him, her body beginning to give into itself. This was the longest she had been awake and her energy was slowly depleting. Her eyes were heavy. Bellamy noticed and picked her up, replacing her so she was lying down. He tucked the pillow under her head and covered her with the blankets.

Bellamy sat back in his chair, his elbows pressed into his knees and face buried in his hands. _How can I fix this_? He thought to himself, but he had no answer. _Abby….Abby can fix this_. Bellamy rose to his feet with a new found conviction and stormed down the hallway.

“Get your stuff we’re leaving” he commanded to the others. All but Lincoln were asleep and looked up at him with groggy, confused eyes.

“It’s still dark” Lincoln informed him as he left his chair and approached Bellamy, silently curious about his sudden urgency. Raven shot to her feet and gathered her belongings.

“I’m ready-You got sleeping beauty?” she quipped to Bellamy. He nodded and turned back. The others slowly grabbed their belongings and climbed the ladder. Lincoln hung back and followed Bellamy after the others were gone.

“It’s not safe to travel in the dark” he warned.

Bellamy turned to face him. “We need to get her to Abby.”

Lincoln stood by stoically. He knew there was more to Bellamy’s new found urgency, but the look at Bellamy's face told him not to push the matter.  Lincoln turned back and followed the others out of the bunker.

Bellamy carried Clarkes sleeping body to the ladder and carefully passed her to Lincoln. Lincoln carried her to the stretcher that Monty and Octavia were holding and placed her on it. Bellamy closed the latch the bunker after he climbed out then covered it with leaves and dirt.

He walked over to the stretcher and withdrew a rope from his pack. He laid the rope over Clarke’s shoulders, then bent down and wrapped it under the stretcher. He then pulled the rope over her chest, continuing his way down her body.

Monty was holding the front of the stretcher facing away from Clarke. It took a Moment for him to look back and his eyes grew wide when he did. “I knew it” he growled at Bellamy. But Bellamy wasn’t in the mood for anyone’s input. The only thing that was important to him at the moment was getting Clarke to Abby. ..no matter what he had to do to get her there.  He tied the rope off, “Let’s go” he barked.  Monty stood firm, glaring at Bellamy.

Once Bellamy noticed that Monty wasn’t moving he stalked over to him. “If I want your opinion I’ll ask for it now move!” he barked again. Monty held his ground for a moment longer than reluctantly followed Lincoln down the dark path. Bellamy followed behind, his watchful eyes snaking the terrain for any sign of danger.

They walked for two hours in the dark; their only light was the torch Lincoln carried in front of them. They were all relieved when the sun’s rays broke through the forest lighting their way.

Lincoln stopped to put out his torch and offer Octavia a break from carrying the stretcher. Bellamy walked past them taking the lead, “we need to keep moving” he ordered not once looking at the group.

“You need a break?” Raven asked Monty. “Thanks” he replied handing the front of the stretcher to Raven.  Monty walked beside Clarke on the stretcher as they marched on.  Monty looked down at Clarke then took his sweater off laying it over her body. He carefully placed the sweater on her; Lincoln watched down at the gesture. “She’ll be fine” he offered. Monty looked back at him with a weak and brief smile.

“I can carry her,” he told Lincoln, placing his hand over one of the bars on the back of the stretcher. Lincoln stepped out of the way handing the back of the stretcher to Monty and falling back to walk beside Octavia.

Another hour had passed and Lincoln had moved to the front of the group, walking beside Bellamy.

“You should untie her before your get to your camp,” he said his eyes straight ahead of him.

“I know” Bellamy replied with a taut voice

*Clarke*

Her eyes fought their way open. The sunlight burned and it was hard for her to battle their instinctive closing. She opted for squinting. She watched the branches sail above her; she could hear the wind swimming through them. For a moment, a brief moment, she wasn’t haunted by her demons….she felt….content. That moment, however, came crashing to a halt as she tried to pull her hand to rub her aching head and couldn’t. 

 _What the hell_? She thought, tugging once again at her arm. This time, it came to her, but she noticed the rope sliding off of her forearms as it did. She watched it curiously as it slide down to the ground. Her eyes moved up and locked with Monty’s. He smiled at her then motioned with his mouth for her to keep quiet. He looked up past her head, then back down to her and nodded.

She slowly pulled her other arm up, realizing it came much easier than the first. Something was still binding her, though, she looked down and saw the rope around her chest and slowly removed it from her.

 _Why am I tied…..damn it, Bellamy? T_ he reality of her situation hit her and she sat up and pried the remained of the rope from her feet. She leaped off the stretched and bolted into the forest adrenaline fueling her escape.

“What the?” Raven turned to ask as she suddenly felt the weight of the stretcher drastically decrease. “Clarke!” she shouted. Octavia watched the scene unfold, unsure of what to do.

Bellamy and Lincoln spun around both chasing after her. It didn’t take long for Bellamy to grab her by her arm. He spun her up against a tree and pinned her there with an arm on each side of her shoulders.

“Damn it Clarke” he panted out, taking the moment to catch his breath. Once he regained control of his breathing he looked at her. She was so filled with terror that it consumed her eyes and circulated through her forcing her body to tremble. He placed one hand square on her chest below her neck and above her breasts and the other he raked through his dark locks. He leaned back and took in the sight of her, but it nearly broke him so he had to look away.

He looked to Lincoln, his eyes threatening him not to speak. “Go-tell Raven to get Abby, take all of them with you.” Lincoln gave him a nod and turned to walk away, “and Lincoln” he heard spinning back around. “Not a word of this” Bellamy said. Lincoln nodded again then jogged back to the group.


	10. Return to Camp Jaha

Bellamy stood there, holding Clarke against the tree unable to look at her.

“Bellamy” she begged and he couldn’t resist he had to meet her eyes. “Please.”

It was a quiet plea, so softly spoken that if anyone were nearby they surely couldn’t have heard it. But it cut through Bellamy's ears. He knew what she was begging for and he wasn’t going to give in. His eyes shot away from hers, but his arms still held her in place.

“I can’t go back there” she cried, her knees buckling under her and she crumbled to the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in them. Bellamy knelt in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  He didn’t offer her any words this time. There were a million things he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Instead, he sat there with her listening to her hushed cries.

Another hour had passed and he heard someone approaching them on his left. He looked over his shoulder and saw Abby and Raven. His eyes darted to Ravens silently communicating with her. Raven nodded and whispered to Abby, “just give her the sedative. You can talk later.”

Abby’s face was full of concern for her daughter, but Raven briefed her on Clarke’s condition on the way out here. Abby swallowed her motherly worries and walked to Clarke as quietly as possible.  She looked down at Bellamy when she arrived at them; he looked down and away as if to apologize. Abby pulled the syringe from her pocket and kneeled beside Clarke.

Bellamy gently glided his hand from Clarkes shoulder to her arm, pulling the sleeve of her shirt up revealing the skin on her upper arm. Abby looked at him again, as if to confirm that this had to be done. He gave her a nod and she swiftly poked Clarke with the needle injecting the sedative into her system.  Clarkes arm swung out from the sting of the needle. Her head flew up and she saw Abby.  She scrambled to her feet, but Bellamy’s strong hand held her down. She made a few attempts, but his grasp was unbreakable. The more she moved, the faster the sedative took effect and soon she was sliding to the forest floor.  

Bellamy bent down and scooped her into his arms. Carrying her toward the stretcher that Lincoln and Raven were holding. This time when they continued on, he remained beside the stretcher.  His eyes caught Monty’s as they entered the camp, “I guess I have you to thank for that” he accused. Monty looked back at him unapologetically. Bellamy scoffed and followed the stretcher.

“It’s Clarke! It’s Clarke!” the surviving 100 were clamoring towards their lost leader excitedly.

“Is she okay?”

“Where has she been?”

“Where did you find her?”

The questions encircled them, smothering them. Bellamy felt the air around him grow thin and his breathing became ragged. He looked to Abby; he looked up at her like a lost boy waiting for directions.

“Back up everyone, you will all have time with her when she heals. But for now, she needs medical attention. Go back to your duties” she comforted the crowd. Bellamy gave her a grateful look in return.

He carried Clarke from the entrance of the Arc into the medical bay, laying her on a bed.

“Okay, where are her injuries,” Abby asked as she and her assistant gathered the usual supplies. She came and stood across from Bellamy beside Clarke. He was leaning on his hands that were outstretched on the bed beside Clarke. He looked up at her with his tired eyes, “everywhere”.

Abby looked confused for a moment then her gaze dropped down to Clarke. Bellamy could see her battling her professional side with the side of her that wanted nothing more than to pull Clarke into her arms and hold onto her forever. It took her a while to compose herself, but she did.

“You should wait outside,” she told Bellamy. His face hardened and every inch of it read “fuck off.”

“I need to undress her to see the extent of her injuries” she pushed.

His head cocked to the side and he sat in a chair beside the bed, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest staring back at her. Daring her. 

“Fine, I don’t have time for this” she huffed and her and her assistant got to work pulling the clothes off of Clarke.  Bellamy watched Abby as she discovered another bruise or cut with each inch of skin revealed to them. Abby continued to look from the new area to Clarkes face until she couldn’t associate the injuries with her daughter anymore and stopped looking to Clarke's face. It took her hours to assess Clarke’s injuries and treat them. Bellamy never moved from his spot.

Eventually, Abby finished, she turned to Bellamy as her assistant moved to clean their mess.

“What happened to my daughter?” she demanded.

Bellamy looked up at her. His mind filled with indecision. _She needs to know….if she’s going to fix her she needs to know_ he thought to himself.

“We found her chained up in Mount Weather, Emerson had been torturing her,” he said, not willing to unleash the entire truth on her just yet.

Abby’s eyes went back to Clarke, and she sat beside her on the bed pulling her hand into hers. She wasn’t even attempting to fight back the tears that filled her eyes. 

“Did you kill him?” she asked in a throaty voice. Bellamy shook his head.

But at that moment, his body froze as he had a revelation.

  _Abby can’t help her_.

 Abby had never actually taken a life. Yes, she played a part in her husband’s execution, but she never watched someone’s life fade out of them at her hands. There’s no way she would be able to comprehend the immense repercussions of such an act.


	11. Shadows of an Old Friend

Abby continued to keep Clarke sedated over the next forty-eight hours to give her body time to heal and absorb as much of the intravenous nutrient as it could. During that time, the remaining hundred slowly filtered through the medical bay to see her…all but one.

Abby had assured Bellamy that Clarke would not wake up, and after a few hours of harassing him, he finally went to his tent for some much-needed rest. He visited Clarke when he woke the next morning, and every few hours throughout the time she was sedated. His visits were brief, mainly to ensure she was still sleeping….and not bolting. He spent the rest of his time on guard at the gate and fending off questions from the remaining hundred.

Bellamy entered Med bay in the evening two days after he had brought Clarke in. Abby gave him an estimated time that Clarke may awake from her drug-induced sedation and he arrived two hours prior. The thought of her awakening made him equally excited and uneasy. He was excited for her recovery but afraid of what she may do. Her conscious actions had astonished him from the moment she woke from a perceived death. The knowledge that she felt she deserved that wounds that littered her body was torturous to him.

Bellamy walked through until he reached her bed, someone was already there sitting with his back to Bellamy. Monty was on the other side of Clarke, where he had been for the past two days. Monty was asleep in the chair beside her, leaning his arms and head on the edge of her bed over her hand.  There was no amount of harassment on Abby’s part that could get Monty to leave her side. His guilt rivaled Bellamy’s as they were the only ones that willing let her leave that fateful day.

Bellamy walked to the foot of the bed then glanced at the other person occupying Clarke’s area. He didn’t need to see his face to know who it was; he would recognize that mop of dark hair anywhere.

Jasper

Bellamy had only spoken to Jasper twice since they originally returned from Mount Weather. Both encounters ended with Jaspers hate-filled threats and accusations. Jasper really hadn’t spoken to _anyone_ since his return. Monty tried but was met with the same anger as Bellamy, more so actually.

Jasper mainly kept to himself, he had become a bitter, angry shut in and was feared by most at this point. His behavior was erratic and unpredictable, erupting in fights at times. Mayas death at the hands of his friends had ruined Jaspers light-hearted nature; destroyed the playful, humorous boy within.

His presence through Bellamy off, he hadn’t expected to see him there….next to Clarke. Bellamy stared at him for a while, silently assessing what his presence here meant. Did he intend to unleash a verbal assault on Clarke when she woke or was he genuinely concerned for her? Jaspers' eyes were locked on Clarkes sleeping form. He hadn’t acknowledged Bellamy, but he knew he was there.

“Jasper” Bellamy breathed, not really sure what he should say to him.

 _Leave_ he thought to himself, _leave because if she wakes up and you go off on her it will destroy her_.

After a moment, Jasper looked up to meet Bellamy’s intense glare.  His eyes are filled with confusion and agony. There were tears in his eyes waiting to come but never quite made it to the surface.

“What happened?” He whispered his voice quiet and timid.

Bellamy looked away. He had received this question from most everyone in the camp over the last two days. He had brushed the rest of them off with obscure answers or dismissed them completely….But here was Jasper….someone tormented by the death of his girlfriend by his friends. Someone that hated just about everyone in the camp. Here he was asking the question Bellamy had so masterfully dodged from everyone else.

“She let Emerson torture her” the words flew out of his mouth before he could process them. He hadn’t intended on being honest with Jasper….definitely, not that blunt either. But somehow the words escaped him before he could stop.

Jaspers' face fell immediately back to Clarke.  Bellamy sighed, _cats out of the bag now_ he thought grimly.

Bellamy leaned on the foot of the bed facing Jasper, his arms crossed over his broad chest; he knew he had to be more delicate in his next approach.

He looked to the ground, “she couldn’t forgive herself for….for everything.”

Jasper looked back at him, his sympathy evident on his face. Bellamy couldn’t meet his eyes, though, the reality of the situation would stare him back in the face if he did. Besides Raven and Monty, no one knew what Clarke had done to herself. That was a secret they shared and went unspoken between them. Raven had been vague with her description of the events that led to needing Abby’s help bringing Clarke into the camp. She led Abby to believe Clarke was traumatized by the beatings…not that she willingly participated with them.  

“I don’t know much, I found her tied up in Mount Weather” Bellamy took a hard breath and continued on, barely audible, “we thought she was dead.”

Jaspers gaze dropped to the floor then drifted timidly back to Clarke.

They sat there for some time in the quiet. Jaspers' eyes remained on Clarke while Bellamy’s avoided the both of them. There was something about vocalizing what had happened that was pushing Bellamy to a place he was extremely uncomfortable with. Hearing the words from his own voice suddenly made the entire situation so incredibly real that all he wanted to do was run. In the same respect, though, all he wanted to do was to _never_ let her out of his sight again.

 _I didn’t protect her_ the thought sent a chill down his spine and he rose to his feet, now pacing the entirety of the room slowly. Walking providing a small outlet for his guilt.

Jasper rising to his feet and leaving the room without a word broke Bellamy out of his own thoughts. He watched Jasper leave, and then returned to Clarke, sitting in Jaspers now empty chair.

Monty began to stir and sat up slowly. Bellamy glanced over at him.

Monty looked to the ground, “I wasn’t sure if he would stay if I were awake, so I kept my head down” he whispered. Bellamy nodded.

“Did he say anything?” Bellamy asked flatly, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.  Monty shook his head.

Bellamy nodded with approval, “let’s keep it that way”.

“Clarke” Abby cried softly then rushed past Monty to Clarke’s side. Clarke’s eyes were open, taking in her surroundings.  Abby embraced her as best she could without hurting her. Bellamy and Monty moved to the foot of the bed allowing the mother and daughter their reunion. Unfortunately for Abby though, it wouldn’t be the one she had hoped for.

Clarke lay frozen as Abby embraced her and gushed over her. Abby sat on the edge of Clarke’s bed, taking her hand in-between her own. “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?” Abby’s questions reflected her nervousness.

Clarke’s empty eyes looked at her, but then slowly moved to the ceiling above her.

Bellamy and Monty could almost hear Abby’s heart break as she saw the void in her daughter. It took her a moment then she rushed to her feet, “pain, you’re in pain-I’ll get some morphine” she said and dashed across the room.

Monty came and reclaimed his spot beside Clarke, but Bellamy remained at a distance…. _something wasn’t right._ He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew something was off.

Monty placed his hand over Clarkes; he didn’t offer any words to her, just his presence. Abby returned and injected the morphine into Clarkes IV. She went to the side opposite of Monty and took Clarkes hand once again.

  
“Monty hasn’t left your side since they brought you back” Abby beamed, brushing Clarkes hair back behind her ear.

Clarke’s eyes found Monty’s and she looked at him apologetically. Bellamy took note of the look, brief as it was. He stood there studying the interactions Clarke had with Abby and Monty, then Raven when she arrived a few moments later. His arms crossed as he carefully observed everything.

Clarke’s eyes remained on the ceiling; she lay there almost in a catatonic state. Every so often she would provide them with a look, it was just enough to make them happy….then she slipped back into herself.

It took an hour of them crowding her before Abby finally announced the Clarke should get some sleep. They all filed out, all but Bellamy. Abby didn’t challenge him this time, she knew it was futile. He slowly made his way to the head of the bed, aligning himself with her shoulders while he looked down on her.

Her eyes remained on the ceiling above her, either unaware of him….or ignoring him her wasn’t sure which. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and tilted his head, unapologetically studying her. Her hollow eyes slowly drifted to his concerned ones.

He couldn’t hold her stare long and he looked away, “your mom has been worried about you.” Her eyes shifted back to the abyss above her.

“She shouldn’t” Clarke said plainly and quietly.

Bellamy took a hard breath in then looked back at her, “Clarke-” he started, but she cut him off without looking at him.

“I won’t run.”

Bellamy swallowed hard and rolled his eyes _liar_ he accused silently

He placed a hand beside her head and leaned over her passively forcing her to look at him, “Don’t you think _I know_ when you’re lying” he teased with a smirk. He hadn’t expected her to agree to stay when she woke, he knew that would take time….but he also wasn’t going to let her believe he was that naive.

Clarke’s eyes were hollow when he looked into him; the smirk that had covered his face from his teasing comment quickly vanished. He searched desperately for her, but her eyes were glazed over and all that remained were the basic anatomy of them. No drive, no passion, no fear, no love, no hate…..nothing.

A lump formed in his through with the realization that, he was losing her, he had spent the last week desperately trying to save her from herself, and here she was surrendering to her internal war.

The one war Bellamy couldn’t fight with her.


	12. Hollowed Shell

Clarke left medical bay that morning. Abby had relented and discharged Clarke after she continuously left her bed in the medical bay. Abby informed her that she made a bed for her in her quarters in the ark.

Clarke meandered aimlessly through the camp. Many people offered her kind greetings and well-wishes; she returned them with a contrived smile. Raven caught a glimpse of her and approached cautiously.

“Abby finally free you, or did you escape?” she joked, falling in step with Clarke.

Clarke looked over at her, her face devoid of emotion. She held her gaze for a moment, and then returned to stare ahead of her.

Raven paused for a moment. The pain, terror, and agony that were in Clarke’s eyes the last time Raven had seen her was gone. However, now there was nothing…

“Okay…” Raven hesitated. “Where are you headed?”

Clarke was quiet for a minute then replied in an icy flat tone “nowhere”.

Raven stopped walking, but Clarke was unaware or didn’t care, she continued on her aimless wondering.

Raven watch as Clarke walked away from her. _What the hell happened?_ She wondered. First they had lost their fearless leader to her own demons, haunted and looking for punishment. Now that version of Clarke seemed to be just as lost as the first. This version was….empty.

Bellamy came up beside Raven, his eyes following Clarke as well.

“Is she okay?” Raven asked softly…perhaps too softly because it cut into Bellamy’s chest. He looked down, then back to Clarke.

“She hasn’t tried to leave” he stated hopefully.

Raven nodded, and the two of them continued to watch Clarke silently.

*Clarke*

Clarke continued to walk through the camp; one by one people began to approach her.

“Hey Clarke, how are you feeling” A chipper Monroe asked walking next to Clarke.

Clarke didn’t respond.   
“Bellamy said you’re staying with Abby now?”

Clarke provided a silent nod.

“Sweet! I’m with my mom, we’re in that area too” Someone across the camp called Monroe, she turned back to Clarke. “Glad to see you’re better” she smiled and ran off.

Clarke walked on for a while until a few of the remaining hundred had formed a semi-circle in front of her forcing her to stop and look up from the ground.

“Hey Clarke, we’re so happy to have you back” one guy said as he hugged her, Clarke stood, her arms remained slack at her side.

Two others hugged her as well; she didn’t reciprocate their embraces either.

“What happened to you?” one of the guys asked.

“Yeah we heard you kicked some grounder ass” one girl interjected excitedly.

“I heard you went after Jaha” another boy chimed in.

“I heard you-” the girl was interrupted by Abby

“Clarke needs to eat, you may catch up with her another time” Abby said placing her arm over Clarke’s shoulders and guiding her to the dining area.  The group dispersed willingly, each leaving Clarke with some version of “happy to have you back”.

Abby led Clarke to a table and motioned for her to sit. She complied. Abby took the seat across from her next to Kane. Monty occupied the chair next to Clarke, and placed a plate of food in front of him and another in front of her.

Clarke starred at the plate until Abby interrupted her. “How are you feelin? Are your stitches holding up?” Clarke looked up at her with her void expression and gave a small nod. Abby smiled, and then continued her conversation with Kane.  Clarkes gaze found the fence and stared out into the dark abyss beyond it.

Monty gently nudged her shoulder with his. She looked over at him; he smiled and leaned toward her. “Moonshine?” he whispered into her ear then withdrew from her, his mischievous grin spreading from ear to ear. Clarkes gaze returned to the fence, then back to Monty and she gave him a small nod.  Monty jumped to his feet and Clarke began to as well until she felt herself being pushed back down. She looked at the hand that was on her shoulder, she knew that hand.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy had not approached Clarke all day, but he had watched her. There was something off that he couldn’t figure out. He knew her well enough to know he should keep an eye on her….closely.

He pulled the chair Monty had left and turned it to face her, then sat in it. “Eat” he gently commanded as he pushed her untouched plate toward her. She looked at the plate, then the fence. Her gaze fell back to the plate, she sat there…unmoving.

“Eat” his command a little more forceful this time. Abby glared up at him, “she may not be hungry-the pain medication can decrease appetite”. Bellamy didn’t even glance her way. His eyes were fixed on Clarke. His face plastered with determination.

Kane picked up on Bellamys unrelenting determination and put his hand on Abby’s shoulder, “perhaps we should go check on Ravens progress with the radios” he said rising to his feet. Abby glanced up at him, then scowled back at Bellamy, but followed Kane.

Bellamy’s eyes never left Clarke, they bore into her. “Eat” he said again, his arm now resting on the back of Clarkes chair as he leaned closed to her. The threat was clear. If she didn’t eat, he was going to make her.

Clarke picked up the piece of meat on her plate and took a small bite of it then returned it to the plate.  Bellamy gave her a disapproving look. “Come on Bellamy, she d-” Bellamy ignored Monty and leaned closer to Clarke, “I will sit here all night” he informed her. She continued to stare at the plate; she hadn’t looked at Bellamy since his arrival at the table. She slowly picked up the meat and proceeds to eat it.

Bellamy leaned back in his chair and faced forward, his arm still resting on the back of her chair ready to shove her back down if she tried to leave.

Monty stood behind Bellamy, and once Clarke had finished he walked beside her, “come on” he said gently. Bellamy’s eyes bore into Monty’s, threatening to tear him apart. “She’s going to bed, she needs rest”

“What do _you_ want to do?” Monty asked Clarke as she rose to her feet.  Clarke looked to the fence, then back to Monty and she took a step in his direction. Monty turned to walk with her to his tent.

Bellamy stalked in front of them. Clarke’s eyes continued to avoid his, so they settled on the ground instead.

“She can make her own decisions Bellamy” Monty snapped.

“She hasn’t exactly been doing a great job with her _own_ decisions lately” Bellamy growled, then grabbed Clarke’s upper arm and walked her to Abby’s quarters.

Bellamy knocked on the door to Abby’s quarters, but there was no response. He pulled the door open and gestured for Clarke to enter. She obeyed. 

“Get some sleep” he said and shut the door behind him. He paced the hallway until Abby appeared. “She’s in your room” he informed her, nodding to the door.

“Thank you” Abby replied as she passed him.

Bellamy planted himself in a chair at the end of the hallway, the only exit from Abby’s room. There was something about Clarke today that made him uneasy. He knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight anywhere else but there.

*Clarke*

Light poured into the dark room Bellamy had put her in, she knew it was Abby.  She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep in the corner of the room on the bed Abby had made for her. Abby kneeled beside her, gently stroked her hair and whispered loving promises. She remained at her side for a while, then kissed Clarkes temple and lay down behind her. She embraced her daughter and fell asleep.

Clarke however didn’t sleep. She stared at the wall in front of her.

 _I don’t deserve this_ she thought as she tried to block out the warmth of her mother’s embrace. Silent tears battled their way into Clarke’s eyes.

_I don’t deserve this_


	13. A Fallen Leader

Clarke carried out her day just as she had the day before. She passed Bellamy in the hall in the morning but had avoided acknowledging him. She couldn’t look at him. If she did, he would know.

 She wondered past him and continued walking through the camp…aimlessly.

People would randomly approach her and her response was generally the same with all of them. She provided them with a blank face, sometimes a slight nod, never more than three words if they were lucky enough to receive any at all.

Bellamy continued to watch her from afar.

“What’s with Clarke?” Miller asked as he came to stand beside Bellamy. Bellamy turned to him, breaking his watchful eyes from Clarke.

“What do you mean?” he asked as his eyebrow drew together.

Miller looked across the camp at Clarke and then shrugged. “I don’t know she just…..”

“She’s fine” Bellamy snapped protectively at Miller.

“Okay…I was just checking” Miller conceded, backing away.

Bellamy’s gaze drifted back to Clarke, he knew he had lied. Clarke was far from fine, but she wasn’t trying to run away or cut herself either.  She was up and walking….that was improvement….right?

The day went on, Clarke continued her walk, shutting herself off from the rest of the camp…Bellamy continued to watch her cautiously.  A little while before dark Abby pulled Clarke into the medical bay to examine her.

“Are you feeling okay?” She inquired as she directed Clarke to sit on the exam table.

Clarke gave her a slow nod, without breaking eye contact with the floor beneath her.

“Take your shirt off, let me start with your back” Abby directed as she arranged some new bandages and supplies on a tray. Clarke slowly pulled her shirt off. Every muscle in her screamed in resistance, the sides of unhealed wounds stretching with the movement; Clarke didn’t care, though.

Abby began her exam with Clarkes back. The deep gashes in her back were one of her main concerns. It had taken over three hundred stitches to close both of the large wounds. When she found no signs of infection and the stitches intact, she carried her exam over the rest of Clarkes beaten body. Clarke sat quietly as she did, not so much as flinching when Abby pulled her old bandages from her flesh and replaced them with new ones.

It took Abby an hour to clean and redress the wounds that covered her daughter’s body. Once she finished, she pulled two pills from a container held them in her hand in front of Clarke, “for the pain”.

Clarke shook her head and looked to the side. “Clarke, you didn’t take the pills I left for you this morning or yesterdays….you must be hurting” Abby sighed defeated.

Clarke shook her head again.

Abby held the pills in her hand then slowly closed her hand around them and withdrew her hand hesitantly.

Bellamy suddenly appeared and took the pills from Abby, walking to Clarke without missing a beat.  He took the cup of water from the table and stood in front of Clarke. He held the pills a few inches in front of her.

“Take them” he gently commanded. Clarke didn’t move, she maintained her blank stare directly in front of her…which was now Bellamy’s stomach. Bellamy waited a moment, then closed his hand containing the pills and curled his index finger under her chin gently lifting it so his eyes could meet hers. But she tore her head from his finger before their eyes met.

She refused to look at him.

She reached for his hand and plucked the pills from it when he opened his palm. She slowly pushed them in her mouth, and he handed her the cup of water. Gently, she placed the cup to her lips and timidly lifted it. Her gaze drifted down into the cup as she drank a small sip from it. She lowered the cup to her lap and maintained eye contact with it. Bellamy crossed his arms, silently assessing her “Finish it” he said. A flash of annoyance crossed Clarkes face for a moment but vanished as soon as it came. She lifted the cup to her lips again and drank all of its contents…forcing the pills she was trying to hide in her mouth down her throat and into her stomach.

Bellamy stared at her for a moment, analyzing her actions.  He then moved his eyes across to Abby, she mouthed “thank you”. He nodded, glanced back at Clarke briefly then walked away.

He planted himself close enough to the entrance of the ark to see when Clarke exited, but far enough that it wasn’t obvious.

“How’s it going?” Octavia inquired standing beside him. He glanced at her then back at the entrance to the ark.

“Good” he nodded.

“You used to be a better liar” she teased with a smirk.

He shot an annoyed look at her and sighed. “How did your visit with village go?” he asked changing the topic.

“Good, Lincoln introduced me to most of them. They gave some tips for the smoke house during the winter” she boasted.

“Good” he nodded his gaze back on the ark.

Octavia looked at him inquisitively, then followed his gaze and watched Clarke exit the Ark. She looked back at her brother.

“And the Princess? How is she?” She asked

“Good” he answered all too quickly.

Octavia stepped in front of him, “again…you used to be a better liar.”

“She’s fine” he insisted, looking past Octavia, which didn’t escape her notice.

“Is that why you’re breaking your neck to watch her?” She pushed.

He looked back at his sister and rolled his eyes.

Lincoln interrupted them, freeing Bellamy to resume watching Clarke, who was now walking with Monty.

“Bellamy’s stalking Clarke” Octavia chirped at Lincoln with a smile.

Lincoln looked at Bellamy with an arched brow. Bellamy rolled his eyes once again, “I’m not _stalking_ anyone” he said looking between them “I’m just keeping an eye on her” he added when he saw they weren’t buying it.

“Uh-huh,” Octavia said condescendingly. “Come on Lincoln-I’m starving.”  With that, they turned and left Bellamy.

Bellamy’s eyes searched the camp for the familiar blonde and found her sitting by the fire pit next to Monty. He leisurely made his way to her.

*Clarke*

Clarke sat on the log holding the cup of moonshine Monty had just given her staring into the blaze before her. She was impervious to the conversations surrounding her. She was lost in her own thoughts, staring into the beautiful yet deadly flames.

Miller sat next to her “How you doing Clarke?” he asked sipping his moonshine.

Clarkes gaze remained fixated on the blaze before her and she gave a small nod.

Miller looked around then down at the moonshine she was holding. “That makes it all better” he joked with a smile. Clarke looked down at the cup; Monty had filled it to the brim. Normally everyone got a quarter of a cup or less, but hers was full. She slowly lifted the cup to her lips, but just as the cold metal reached her lips it was snatched from her grasp. Her eyes lifted from the empty space that now occupied where the cup had been, then went back to the blaze.

*Bellamy *

Bellamy snatched the moonshine from Clarke and held it in his hand. It was the only thing that Clarke had willing made a move to consume since she woke, but he wasn’t going to let her have it. He reasoned mixing alcohol and pain medication probably wasn’t the best idea for her right now. However, her indifference to him confiscating it concerned him more than anything now.

He studied her as she stared intently into the fire. She hadn’t even looked to see who had taken the cup from her. She just sat there.  Bellamy slammed the moonshine down his throat and then shoved the cup at Monty.

“Hey!” Monty protested, but it was too late he had consumed all of it. Monty snatched the cup and stomped off to refill it.

Bellamy looked at Miller, and Miller took that as he queue to leave. Bellamy took his seat next to Clarke. She still hadn’t broken her gaze off the fire. He roughly grabbed her face, pulling it to him. Her eyes never lifted, they remained in the same position…as if she hadn’t even noticed that she wasn’t looking at the dancing red and orange flames anymore.

His eyes bore into her distracted ones; his eyes searched over her face then back to her eyes.

“Clarke!” he demanded. She didn’t move, though. “Clarke!” he said louder and gently shook her head once. Slowly her eyes drew up to meet his. His breath became ragged and heavy as he looked into her eyes. She was looking through him, not at him. Her beautiful eyes that were filled with so many emotions a few days ago were now empty. He searched for any trace of emotion, any trace of life, any trace of……her.


	14. Testing Friendships

Bellamy left Clarke by the fire, but not before rapidly consuming another cup of moonshine.  He tore across the camp, only stopping when Raven stepped in his path.

“Where’s the fire?” she joked.

“Not now” he snapped moving to walk around her, but she blocked him. He growled then glared at her. She crossed her arms in front of her and matched his heated glare. The two stood there glaring at each other until Raven finally spoke again.

“I’m going to guess this is about Clarke,” she said with an arched brow.

“Raven-don’t” he warned trying to push past her again, and once again he was unsuccessful.  She blocked him again and gently touched his bicep. She held his eyes for a moment then shook her head and walked away. There was no consoling him right now, even if there was she didn’t know what to say.

Bellamy took a deep breath closing his eyes, trying to get his emotions under control. He turned back to the fire and searched for the blonde….but she wasn’t there. His eyes scanned the camp, but there was no sign of the familiar blonde.

*Clarke*

Once Bellamy had left her side, she stood and walked behind a tent near the fence. Unbeknownst to Raven and Wick she had overheard their earlier conversation about shutting a section of the fence down for routine maintenance tonight. She picked up a small branch and let it fall onto the fence….nothing. _It’s off_ she assured herself then climbed through. She jogged to the tree line and into the darkness. 

Once within the cover of the trees, Clarke slowed to a brisk walk and continued to make her way through the lush forest.

Suddenly she felt her arm restrained behind her, forcing her to an about-face.

 Bellamy said nothing, just held her arm in a death grip and glared at her. She looked up at him, “how did you-” she began….

He cut her off dropping her arm “I’m not an idiot Clarke” he snapped angrily.

Her eyes dropped, “Please Bellamy please let me go” tears brimmed her lower lids.

“Let you go” he repeated with a growl.

“I took this from so many people….” She gestured back towards the camp “I don’t deserve it” she pleaded.

“We brought our people home Clarke. _We_ did what _we_ had to do” his eyes invaded hers. He pushed back the urge to throw her over her shoulder and drag her back to Camp Jaha. This needed to happen; they needed to hash this out. She was finally showing some emotions and he was determined to finish this ridiculous argument.

She shook her head, and tears slowly escaped her eyes as she moved from his gaze. He grabbed her shoulders firmly, forcing her to hold their gaze.   
“Why can’t you understand that?” He gave her a gentle shake then broke their contact. His hand raked through his curly locks out of frustration as he stepped away from her.

“They would have killed us. They would have killed all of us” he said as his eyes desperately looked down to hers.  He was losing this battle, and he knew it.

She closed her eyes turning away from him shaking her head. “I killed them…just like Finn…I killed Finn for the same crime” She whispered softly, not wanting to verbalize her demons to him.

Bellamy’s frustration was consuming him, and then anger started to creep in. He took a few breaths trying to maintain his resolve. She wasn’t going to listen. He couldn’t rationalize with her like this.

Bellamy thought for a minute and nodded, “Alright Clarke” he said with conviction. Then walked passed her continuing on the path to Mount Weather. She stood there for a minute watching him then raced to catch up; she jumped in front of him forcing him to a stop. He didn’t hesitate to move around her and continue walking.

“Where are you going?” she asked coming up beside him.

“Mount Weather,” he said plainly, not looking at her.

She grabbed his upper arm and he came to a stop “Bellamy you-”

“What Clarke?” he snapped now facing her. “If you’re going to Mount Weather to find Emerson then so am I.” He yanked his arm away from her and stalked forward.

“You can’t kill him Bellamy he-” she was once again cut off

Bellamy flew around to face her, “I’m not going to _kill_ him Clarke” Bellamy scoffed.

“I’m going to do the same thing you are going there to do,” he said flatly then continued walking once again.

She jumped in front of him, “Bellamy. NO!” she shouted, her glassy eyes looking up at his brown ones. He stopped and looked at her.  She dropped her eyes to the ground, “you can’t’-you don’t deserve…”

“And you do?” he pushed. She looked back at him, tears filling her eyes as she nodded solemnly.

Bellamy nodded, “then I do too” he challenged glaring into her eyes.

“Bellamy no” her shaking voice conveying her protest.

Bellamy towered over her, stepping towards her. She matched each of his steps with a backward one of her own.

 “Why not Clarke?” He continued to stalk towards her, growling. “I pulled the lever _with_ you in Mount Weather, _I_ let _three hundred_ of our people die. Hell, I was going to let _all_ of them die on the ark- for my own gain” He stopped when Clarke had backed herself into a tree.

“So tell me Clarke” he glared at her “How is it that _you_ deserve it and _I_ don’t. _You_ did what you had to to _save_ our people. I did what I did for _me_ ” His face now inches from hers. 

They stood there for what felt like hours, Clarke’s tears freely streaming down her face.   
“I-I can’t” she stammered looking away from him, “I can’t watch him do that to you.”

Bellamy yanked her face to his, “but _I_ can?” he growled. “I should _let_ you go, _knowing_ what will happen?”  He waited until his words resonated within her then he released her face.

He stepped back from her.  Clarke thought for a while then turned and walked back to the camp without a word. Bellamy caught her forearm as she walked by him and swung her to face him again.

“If you _ever_ take off again, I _will_ follow. I _will_ go there, Clarke. I will let him match every mark on you to one on me. Maybe then, you will feel what I feel right now” he released her arm and stormed passed her headed back to the camp.  Clarke followed remaining a few steps behind him the entire time.


	15. Confrontations

Bellamy escorted Clarke to Abby’s quarters when they arrived back at Camp Jaha. The two hadn’t spoken, and they were both intent on keeping it that way. Clarke brushed past him and curled up in her bed in the corner. Abby was soundly sleeping on her bed, oblivious to Clarke’s escapade. Bellamy quietly closed the door and went to his tent. He knew there was no longer a need to watch over her as he had done before. His ultimatum would keep her safely confined within the camp.

She wasn’t going anywhere.

The next morning he joined Abby and Kane for a council meeting.

“What are we going to do about Emerson?” he asked bluntly as he sat down.

“We can’t worry about him now, we need to find out where Jaha is and see if there are any other ark survivors” Kane stated with authority.

Bellamy slammed his fist onto the table, “ _We_ do something about him, or _I_ will do it myself.”

Abby jumped, “We have no idea where he is” Bellamy's head snapped to Abby’s and he leaned over the table to her. His brows drawing together and his eyes narrowing, “He _tortured_ your daughter” he snarled. Abby stood placing her hands on the table and leaning towards him, “Don’t for a second think that I don’t know that. I stitched her back together, I have seen every inch of what that monster did.”

“I would think you would want to do something about it then” he growled back.

“There’s been enough bloodshed on this planet. It ends now. The war is over. Clarke is back. The grounders will most likely kill Emerson” Kane said stepping in between the two.

Bellamy’s hands planted themselves firmly on his hips, as he stood.  “I will find him….and I will kill him” he stated firmly.

Kane shifted to face him, “then you will be charged with murder” he warned.

Bellamy stepped to him, towering over him, “ _If_ you find the body” he challenged.

“Enough!” Abby yelled before Kane could respond. Both men looked at her.

“No one is being charged with anything-Sit” she commanded. They each shared a dirty look then took their seats again.

Abby sighed, “First things first. We need to know where our alliance stands with the grounders” Bellamy rolled his eyes and scoffed at her. “There _is_ no alliance” This was a tired argument that reoccurred at every meeting.

“We’ve been able to work with the nearest village to learn new skills” Kane stated.

“Doesn’t mean they won’t kill us” Bellamy muttered

“Okay….have we heard anything from the other ark stations?” Abby asked trying to maintain some civility amongst them.

Bellamy shook his head, “No, Raven thought she had something, But she lost it. She said it could have just been a blip” he shrugged.

Abby nodded, processing the information. “Alright, so onto Jaha then.”

“Let’s give him a while longer. We have no idea how far this city of light is…if it even exists. He left on his own accord; let’s give him time before we use resources we need to find him.”

Abby and Bellamy nodded in agreement and continued debating other matters.

*Clarke*

Clarke left her mother’s quarters early that morning. She hadn’t slept. She wasn’t sure how she would manage to live in Camp Jaha. At some point during the night she came to the reality that going back to Emerson wasn’t a good move. She didn’t want her mom or Bellamy worrying about what was happening to her. She wasn’t entirely convinced by Bellamy’s threat, but she knew there was a chance he may follow through.

 _He doesn’t deserve that_ she thought, a cold chill snaked through her veins at the thought of watching Emerson beat Bellamy. She couldn’t risk it.

Still. The camp held its own ghosts. Some that were more terrifying than Emerson could ever be.

Every time she looked out of the camps gate she saw Finn. His body strung up on the pole blood oozing from his heart and staining his shirt. Her ears burned with Ravens cries. She felt the dampness of his blood on her hands. Whenever she looked at Monty, she thought of Jasper, and Jasper made her think of Maya. Every time she looked at the camps sign she saw Wells’s face….then Charlotte’s. It was a never-ending cycle of demons and ghosts that incessantly invaded her.

She was haunted enough within herself, having external signs constantly bombarding her was forcing her to withdraw into herself.

She didn’t want to talk to anyone; she didn’t know what to say. She opted for sitting at the fire pit. Starring into oblivion.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy made his rounds through the camp after the council meeting. He was trying to get back to his old routine. He did however casually look for Clarke between his tasks. She was at the fire pit every time he looked.

He went to visit Raven and Wick to see if they had made any progress with communications. Wick saw him first when he entered.

“Hey. How’s Clarke doing?” He asked gently.

“She’s here” Bellamy shrugged not wanting to discuss the events of the previous night.

“No, she’s not” Raven snapped coming around him and grabbing something from Wicks table.

Both men looked at her questioningly. Bellamy was taking a step back towards the door when she continued.

“ _That’s_ not Clarke out there” she snapped as she pointed out the door.

Bellamy stepped towards her.

Raven shook her head and began screwing together the pieces of metal on the counter. “That looks like Clarke, it may even sound like Clarke…but that’s not Clarke.”

Bellamy was drawing nearer to her with every word, his anger beginning to boil. “It’s her,” he said in a low, gravelly voice. 

Raven wouldn’t  so much as glance his way. “No” she drawled “I know Clarke and _that_ ” she pointed her screwdriver to the door “ _that’s_ not Clarke” she continued working on the metal piece.

Wick quickly placed himself between Raven and Bellamy when he noticed how close Bellamy was and queuing in on his discernable anger.

“How about we talk about radios….radios are good right?” He said light-heartedly with a smile, trying to ease the tension.

Raven noticed and looked around him at Bellamy. “Got somethin’ to say Blake” she challenged.

“Back off Raven” he snarled.

“You know I’m right” she snapped. “That girl out there is a hollowed out shell of Clarke. You can pretend she’s still the Princess you want her to be but she’s not”

“She just needs time” he growled.

“Time?!” Raven yelped “Time for what? Another escape? I saw you bring her back last night, I-”

Bellamy shoved Wick out of his way and stormed to Raven, “Maybe if _you_ had paid attention when you talked about shutting down the fence for maintenance she wouldn’t have gotten out.”

“Damn it” Raven stepped back from him, her tone devoid of the anger it had just possessed. “Look, I didn’t know she was-”

“Good thing I did” he snapped turning to leave.

“It’s not her” Raven whispered softly.

Bellamy turned to face her.

“She’s in there,” he said gently, then exited the room.

Bellamy paced the camp; he walked the perimeter countless times as he worked through his thoughts. Raven was right, Clarke may physically be here, but mentally she checked out.

 _She’ll come around_ he comforted himself then headed to the blonde that had consumed his thoughts over the past week.

Bellamy sat next to Clarke on the log facing the fire. He gazed into the flickering shades of oranges and reds with her for a while.

He took a deep breath, “Clarke” he breathed turning to face her. She wouldn’t look at him.

He rolled his eyes looking back into the flames.

“This isn’t a prison” he sighed shaking his head and looking down to the ground at his feet.

“I know,” she whispered.

A few moments had passed before he spoke again.

“They need you,” he said looking over at her. She met his eyes then looked around the camp.

She looked at him. It was the same look she had given him when he told her she was forgiven before she left. When he tried to ease her guilt as she had done for him numerous times before. It was a look that searched within him and his words to seek a way to slay the ghosts within her. A desperate look that wanted his words to fix her wanted to be able to find comfort in them. A look that ended with despair when she realized that he couldn’t fight this war with her.  It was a look that left him feeling helpless, and her hopeless.

She swallowed and looked back into the fire. He jumped up and kneeled in front of her, placing his fingertips on her knee.  “ _I_ need you Clarke” his eyes searched hers. “We’ve done this together for too long to quit now” he smiled.

Monty walked to them, two glasses of moonshine in his hand. He smiled and offered them with raised eyebrows.

Clarke grabbed one and quickly threw it back, then grabbed the other and did the same. She smiled slightly at Monty as the moonshine lite her throat on fire.  Bellamy gave her a knowing smirk, standing up and crossing his arms. “Guess I had that coming” he joked. Clarke shrugged.

Bellamy smiled. He could see something stir inside of Clarke in those moments. Something that gave him hope.

She _was_ in there


	16. Moonshine

*Clarke*

Clarke’s morning began the same way the past few had. She woke and began to walk through the camp, still in a fog. She had heard Bellamy last night, but she wasn’t sure she wanted her people to need her.

Miller approached Clarke with a smile, “Hey princess, you feeling better?” he asked, stepping in front of her. Clarke looked up at Miller, and then slowly her gaze drifted back to the ground. Her head turned slowly to the side as she stared out beyond the fence.

“It’s good to see you out” Miller carried on. Clarke gazed remained locked on the tree line outside the fence.

Miller swallowed.  “We’ve uh….we’ve built another tent” he stammered, off-put by her silence.  “Bellamy convinced the council to construct some for the rest of the hundred who don’t have any family here” He put his arm out, forcing her to look at the tents. She complied.

“See, we’ve only built three so far, but that gets half of them shelter,” Miller said proudly.

Clarke’s eyes scanned the tents, _half of them_ she pondered.

Her eyes went back to Millers, “What about the other half?” she asked.

Miller’s eyes shifted to a back corner of the camp, “They have a second fire pit back there. They sleep around that”. Clarkes followed Millers gaze. Then snapped back to him.

“They’re sleeping _outside_?” she asked with more angst.

Miller nodded, “Until the chancellor lets us build the other tents.”

Clarke looked between the tents that were constructed. She moved toward the complete one and peeked inside. There were blankets everywhere; these kids had to have been sleeping on top of each other to fit. _At least they’re inside_ she reminded herself.  She turned on her heel and headed for the ark.

She found her mother in the medical bay and barged straight up to her ignoring the patient Abby was tending to. “Why are there not tents for everyone?” she demanded.

Her harsh tone coupled with her abruptness caught Abby off-guard.

“What?” she asked

“You have people sleeping outside in this cold!”

“They have the fire, and we’ve given them blankets-”

Clarke cut her off, “and if it _rains_?” she demanded.

Abby wasn’t sure how to react. Clarke was speaking with her which she was grateful for, but this was not how she wanted their first full conversation to go.

“We don’t have the resources Clarke; we need the storage tents to-”

Clarke was fuming and once again interrupted, “Then I will sleep outside with them, one of them can have my space in your room”. With that, Clarke left the medical bay and a stunned Abby.

*Bellamy*

“What was that about?” he asked Miller after he watched Clarke walk away.

“I showed her the tents” Miller said plainly.

Bellay looked at him, then at the path Clarke took to the ark. “Anything else?”

“She seemed surprised that the others were sleeping at the pit” Miller shrugged.

Bellamy nodded with a knowing smile. 

*Clarke*

 Clarke waited for the evening and headed to the fire pit that the outcast kids were living at. She found the two youngest girls and told them to go to Abby’s quarters. Monty found Clarke after she sent the girls off.

“Time to celebrate,” he said handing her a cup of moonshine. She hesitated before taking it.

“I made this batch special for you” he smiled jiggling the cup in front of her.

 _What the hell_ she thought and took the cup from him slamming its contents down her throat.

Monty beamed back at her and guided her to the main fire pit. “I’ll get you more,” he said and hurried off.

Clarke looked around at all of the familiar faces. This moment reminded her of their recent Unity day. It was a care-free day until Finn… _Finn,_ she thought and the weighted cloud over her returned.

“Hey Clarke, you doin’ okay?” Monroe asked. Clarke gave her a contrived smile. _No,_ she thought

Monty returned with a full cup of moonshine for her. She wasted no time consuming it. The others filtered their way to her. All timidly asking how she was or if she needed anything.  Some prompted her to speak of her adventures when she left the camp. Monty continued to refill her cup whenever it emptied and within two hours….Clarke was trashed. She wobbled around the fire until she walked into a wall….no not a wall. Bellamy.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy came to the pit after overhearing a few drunken conversations of teenagers passing by him. He knew Monty must have made more moonshine.  His sight immediately fell on Clarke, and her poor attempt at walking. He stood in front of her thinking she would notice, but she just stumbled into him.  He grabbed her elbows to steady her as his eyes roamed over her.

“Having fun Princess?” he asked with a lopsided grin.

Clarkes hooded eyes glared up at him then she tried to walk around him. He held onto one of her elbows as she walked to steady her. Once she steadied herself, she pulled away from him, and he let her.  She continued her drunken approach to walking as she headed for the other fire pit.

“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to contain how entertaining her current state was to him.

“Bed-sleep” she slurred, as she continued to stumble her way across the camp.

“The arks that way,” he said smugly walking next to her pointing to the ark, still amused at her drunkenness.

“Not going to the ark” she grumbled.

He smiled; he couldn’t help but enjoy watching her in such rare form. “I know you’re drunk, but your bed is in the ark,” he said with a laugh.

Ignoring him she continued on wobbly legs, determined as ever to get to the fire so she could rest.

He blocked her path, “again, arks that way” he pointed, his smirk revealing his dimples.

She pushed passed him, “I gave my bed to two others, I’m sleeping at the fire” she managed to slur out.

Bellamy came in front of her again, “Clarke” he started, but he knew she would object to whatever argument he presented. He took in a long breath while rubbing his eyes with his hand.

 _Alright, Princess,_ he thought.

He grabbed her arm turning her in her path gently, “Okay but I need to talk to you first”. She didn’t resist, just stumbled along beside him until he pulled open his tent. He helped her inside.

“Sit,” he said pointing to his makeshift bed.

She looked up at him and almost smiled, “ _that’s_ why I like you” she said poking him with her finger then plopping on his bed. He leaned back on his table and smirked, “why’s that?” his interest piqued

Her drunken eyes hovered on him, “because _you_ don’t treat me like I’m going to break” she slurred.  He smiled. Clarke was inadvertently swaying on his bed as she sat there, then she finally caved in and lay on her back. “You know better” she slurred and clumsily pointed in his direction.

“You won’t break, I know that,” he said enjoying the conversation and the sight of her drunken movements. The past few weeks disappeared in this moment, and he was entertained by her lack of inhibitions.  

“No” she mumbled, “you just know I’m already broken,” she said honestly.

The amused smile that had formed on his face disappeared with her words. He sat beside her on the bed.

“ _You_ are not broken” he stated firmly. She gave him a weak sympathetic smile, almost apologetic.

“Hey,” he said in a gravelly voice then he lay down beside her, resting his head on his arm and facing her. She moved to her side mirroring his position, albeit less gracefully.

“You’re not,” he said in a firm but gentle voice. She stared at him, clearly not believing his words. His eyes searched hers, she was in there. She had proven that throughout the day. He wouldn’t deny that she was damaged, but broken? Could this girl in front of him ever truly be broken? He knew this girl too well; she fought him tooth and nail when they crashed on this damn planet. She stood up to him when no one else dared. She had battled him non-stop until she had broken through his walls and transformed him into a better man. She went toe to toe with two powerful grounder leaders without hesitation. Clarke may be damaged-yes, but she could never be broken.

He reached out and pulled her into his arms, “you’re too stubborn to break” he said with a smile, tucking her head under his chin.


	17. Sleeping Arrangements

Bellamy woke from the best sleep he’d had since arriving on Earth. He turned to stretch, but his arm was caught under someone. He opened his eyes and saw Clarke, still sleeping. He leaned back slightly, just taking in the sight of her. She had a peace about her that he hadn’t seen in a long time. No burdens were looming over her, no ghosts haunting her. With her guilty conscious at bay she looked…content.

Her eyes began to flutter; she squinted up at him with a confused look curtained over her recent one.

“Morning” her greeted her.

She grumbled a bit as she pulled back from him, trying to recall how she had ended up in the position.

Bellamy read the confusion and answered before she could formulate the question.

“You were drunk” he stated then sat up, pulling on his boots.  “And you _aren’t_ going to sleep outside.”

Her pounding headshot over at him, scowling into the back of his head. “ _No one_ should be sleeping outside,” she said then pulled herself to the edge of the bed and stood.  Once she got her bearings and the room stopped moving, she began to walk. She headed for the door until Bellamy's all too familiar grip on her wrist spun her around. She grabbed her head; the fast movement was creating a dizzying atmosphere.

“We’ll get them shelter, but _you_ won’t be sleeping out there,” He stated then stood and walked out of the tent.

*Bellamy*

“Well I didn’t think she would _actually_ do it” Abby snapped at Bellamy. They had arrived before Kane and quickly found themselves in this argument.

“Do you even _know_ your daughter” he replied smugly, leaning back in his chair.

“I can’t believe she slept outside, she’s still recovering.” Abby sighed collapsing in her chair.

“She didn’t sleep outside,” he said with an eye roll. Abby’s shot him a confused look, “Where did she sleep then?”

“My tent. Do you really think I’d let her sleep out there?” He asked leaning his elbows on the table.

“And tonight?….she refused to take her bed back in my room when I spoke with her this morning.”

Bellamy leaned back again, playing with the armrest on his chair. “She can stay with me until we get the rest of them shelter.” Abby peered over at him, “What makes you think that she’ll stay with you?” she challenged.

He laughed and his smug look returned. “Cause _I_ will carry her in there and tie her to the bed if I have to” Abby’s look shot daggers at him, and his face dropped quickly. A serious look descended over his face, “not like that” he stated firmly. By the look of Abby’s face, he could tell she wasn’t buying it. He leaned over the table, “It’s not like that. Clarke” he sighed “Clarke saved me from my demons, I’m just trying to do the same for her.” He explained.

Abby leaned over the table; her voice dropped “I’ve heard about you. If you try-”

“It’s _not_ like that” he insisted.

“What have I missed?” Kane asked as he took his seat. He glanced between the two and could feel the tension in the air. Bellamy was the first to acknowledge him, “We need to get shelter for _everyone._ ”

Kane shook his head, “We’ve already talked about this. We gave you the supplies for the new tent, but the to-”

“No!” Abby barked at him. “Shelter is our main priority now.” Kane studied her face for a moment then nodded. They proceeded to hash out the details for hours.

*Clarke*

Clarke heard the commotion at the gate and slowly made her way over there, curiosity getting the best of her. Two guards were holding another guards arms over their shoulders helping him walk. “Get the chancellor!” one of the guards barked to another at the gate. She noticed the shredded fabric on the part of the man’s pant leg, and the crimson stain spreading over it. Without hesitation, she followed them to the medical bay inside the ark.

“Put him on the table” she ordered and followed them. Her eyes instinctually scanned the man quickly, assessing his breathing and consciousness within seconds. “Give me a knife,” she said.

One of the guards pulled one from his utility belt and handed it to her. She cut the remains of the man’s pant leg off and tossed it to the floor. She poured water from a nearby table over the extremity to remove the blood so she could gain a better view of the wound.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Something in the water…it came out of nowhere and bit him” the guard stammered, clearly shaken by the incident.

Clarke scanned the room to see what kind of supplies there were. She found a rag and pressed it over the wound. “Put pressure on this,” she told the guard next to her. He complied. She took off to the nearest cabinet, searching for something to use for a suture kit. She found one and raced back to the man. She poured a container of moonshine she had found in the cabinet over the wound and made quick work of sewing the edges of his lacerations together. She was nearly finished when her mother rushed next to her.

Clarke turned to her mother. “There’s another wound on his leg” she stated flatly then tied off the last suture and walked to the makeshift sink in an adjacent room and began to scrub the blood from her hands.  Abby turned to the guard and began work on the second wound.

*Bellamy*

One of the guards burst into the council room disrupting their heated debate over the grounder alliance. “Juan needs medical” he gasped out of breath from running to the room. Abby shot up from her chair and walked briskly to the medical bay. Bellamy and Kane followed suit.

Abby entered the medical bay and saw a group huddled around the nearest table. She stood behind Clarke as she finished. Bellamy and Kane were stopped in the hall by another guard that was with them and were interrogating him on what happened. Bellamy caught a glimpse of blonde hair leaving the medical bay and he followed curiously. He found her leaning over a sink violently scrubbing her hands. He stood behind her.

“Clarke,” he said resting a hand over her bicep. She continued to scrub frantically, oblivious to his presence.  He reached around her body and grabbed both of her forearms, pulling them apart. She dropped the rag she was using to scrub her hands and a sob erupted from her. She collapsed to the ground in a ball. Bellamy huddled over her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He let her cry. She needed to cry. She needed to get this out of her somehow.

Bellamy could feel Kane standing behind him, even though he never spoke, just simply watched.

All too quickly Clarke’s sobs ceased. Kane walked away so he wasn’t seen. Clarke wiped her eyes and rose to her feet. She didn’t look at Bellamy, and he didn’t ask her too. She walked around him and down the hallway.

*Clarke*

Clarke had meandered through the camp unable to focus on anything but her hands. She had long since scrubbed the blood off of them and all that remained behind were scratches and raw spots from her brutal scrubbing.  Every time she thought of the blood her mind flooded with images of Finns blood on her hands. She could still feel his last breaths, and Ravens screams still burned her ears and settled in her heart.  

Raven came beside her “Hey, are you okay?” she asked as she put a hand on Clarkes arm bringing her to a stop. Still in the daze of her own nightmare Clarke looked up at her. Clarke’s eyes were glassed over and Raven reached around to hug her. Clarke moved back, denying the embrace and walked away shaking her head.

*Bellamy*

“I won’t tell you again Clarke” he warned as he crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes glaring down at Clarke, who was lying near the fire.

She looked up at him, “Tell me what?”

Bellamy clenched his jaw, his muscles twitching. “Get your ass in with your mom or in my tent.”

His patience waning. He knew he would have to fight her again on this tonight, but after the non-stop debating and arguing with the council all day he wasn’t in the mood for another battle.

Clarkes eyes dropped from him, “I won’t take a spot that someone else needs” she said then closed her eyes. Next thing she knew she felt the ground dropping away from her. Her eyes shot open and she realized Bellamy was holding her in his arms.

“Bellamy” she warned. But that warning fell on deaf ears and he turned and walked to his tent.

“Put me down Bellamy” she demanded thrashing her legs in an attempt to free herself. Bellamy didn’t so much as look at her. She fought him the entire way to the tent; kicking and threatening as they went.

Once they reached the tent, he set her down so he could open the entryway. The second her feet hit the ground she stomped back towards the fire. She made it all of three steps before she felt pressure on her abdomen and the ground disappearing again.

Bellamy threw her over his shoulder and held the back of her thighs as he carried her into the tent. He dropped her, in a slightly gentle manner, onto his bed.

She glared up at him; if looks could kill…he would be a dead man.

Clarke opened her mouth to lay into him, but he held up a hand and spoke before she could.

“Don’t make me tie you there?” he said nonchalantly then took his shirt off.

“You can’t make me stay here” she arguing pulling herself to her feet.

Within a second he was mere inches from her as he towered over her. “I’m not in the mood Clarke, go to sleep” he growled, and then pushed her just hard enough to make her fall back in the bed.

“I won’t stay here while the others-”

He crouched over her, his eyes narrowing. “I _will_ tie you up.”

Clarke glared back at him but said nothing. She sat on the edge of the bed while he removed his weapons and boots. Once he was just down to his pants, he came back to the bed.

“Your side,” he said pointing to the opposite side of the bed, the side against the wall.

Clarke stared at him questioningly, as if she didn’t understand what he wanted. Bellamy sighed and rolled his eyes then scooped her in his arms and dropped her on the far side of the bed.

“Really not in the mood,” he said as she plopped down on the bed. He crawled to the other side of the bed and fell asleep quickly. Clarke watched his chest rise and fall waiting for it to even out. When she heard his light snores and saw his regulated breathing pattern, she made her move. She slowly sat up, pulling her legs underneath her. She looked around the bed, there was only one way out of it and she would have to climb over him to leave.

 _Damn him_ she thought to herself, silently cursing Bellamy’s upper hand from his planning.

She scooched over as close as she could to him, then rested her weight on her left knee as her right leg swung over his legs. When her right knee hit the sliver of bedding on his side, she put her weight on it and lifted her left leg to swing it over.

Two strong hands gripped her waist pulling her down onto his lower abdomen, planting her there.

“You know, I’ve never had to try so hard to keep a girl in my bed” he mused then flipped them over. He pinned her wrists over her head as he straddled her hips with his knees.

“This martyr thing _will_ stop. Now.” He commanded as he glared down at her. He wasn’t angry, but he was irritated.

“We will get everyone shelter soon, don’t be an idiot” His glare softens as he looked down at her. “You need to heal, you need to rest,” He said gently while releasing her wrists. His hands rested on each side of her head bearing his weight.

“I’m fine” she insisted as her arms dropped to her sides. Bellamy’s eyes revealed how little he believed her unconvincing lie.

“Clarke,” he said with a sigh “Today, y-”

“Don’t” she pushed, her voice dropping an octave as her chin began to quiver. She rolled onto her side, pushing Bellamy's weight from her. He looked at her for a while and then laid down behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder, “you’re not alone” he said just above a whisper.


	18. Familiar Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a bit of a nod to season 1. Hope you enjoy-and thanks for the reviews :)

*Bellamy*

“Anything on the radio?” He asked as he entered the communications room in the Ark. Raven shook her head as she brushed past him and grabbed something from a nearby shelf. Bellamy nodded, “You need anything?” he asked toying with a tool on the table beside him.

She looked at him with an arched brow, “do I _need anything”_ she asked slowly….her voice laced with a mocking tone. Bellamy shot her an unamused look and stopped fidgeting with the item in his fingers.

Raven crossed her arms over her chest, “Wanna tell me what you’re really after?” she asked.

Bellamy's head tilted back then he rolled his eyes taking an exaggerated breath. “Just trying to be nice,” he said with a huff.  “Well that’s bullshit” Rave shot back at him. His eyes darted to hers, boring into her. After a few minutes, his glare softened defeatedly and he sighed. He shook his head then walked out to the door. “She’s coming around” Raven called to him, Bellamy looked to his side giving her a nod then continued out the door.

*Clarke*

“Octavia” she breathed her name as she approached her. Clarke’s eyes reflected her internal turmoil more than ever.

“Oh, hey Clarke” Octavia greeted her. “You look better.”

Clarke gave her a contrived smile and small nod of her head. “Octavia I-” Clarke looked at the girl in front of her, the _warrior_ in front of her. Her eyes roamed over the grounder attire Octavia had become accustomed to. _What have we become_ her own words haunting her? Octavia had come to this planet wide-eyed and innocent….now she was a ruthless warrior in battles.

_And I almost killed her_

Octavia’s looked over Clarke, waiting for her to continue. “I’m sorry” Clarke shivered letting her head drop down slowly shaking it. “I shouldn’t…..I…..I” her search for words was unfound.  How do you apologize for almost killing your friend? Clarke’s eyes dragged back up to Octavia’s, only holding hers for a moment before she had to turn away. It was too much. Clarke knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness. She wasn’t asking for it. She only wanted to apologize but know she knew she couldn’t. There was no apology grand enough to cover what she had done. Octavia shouldn’t be standing before her because of what _she_ had done. “I’m sorry” just does not cover that kind of betrayal.

Octavia pulled Clarke into a tight embrace. “I know” she whispered to her. Like Clarke, Octavia didn’t know what words would fit the situation best. She had been angry at Clarke, but she had also come to forgive her.

Clarke’s arms hung at her side, but slowly crept up and loosely held Octavia. A soft sob escaped her lips.

*Bellamy*

It was early in the afternoon when he watched Clarke approach the gate. She was having a conversation with one of the guards. His feet jumped into action as he watched the guard pull the lever and open the gate.  _You have got to be shitting me_ he thought to himself as he stormed to the gate.

He reached Clarke about thirty feet outside of it and stormed in front of her, obviously startling her. “Bellamy,” she said softly

“Turn around Clarke” he steamed, glaring at her. The softness of Clarkes face slowly hardened, “Bel-”

“Turn your ass around, and go back” he commanded pointing back to the gate. Anger masking any other emotion he had at the moment.

Clarke sucked in a hard breath and held it “no” she let out.

Bellamy fumed, his anger boiling over. He had had another long day with Abby and Kane arguing over what to do about the grounders and the uncertainty of their alliance. He had no patience for this blonde at this point.

“Walk or I will make you” he growled through gritted teeth, his arms coming close to her.

“I will be back later,” she said, her face turned to stone.

Bellamy took hold of her forearm, “you will be back now” he commanded turning her to the camp. He continued to walk, but she didn’t. Her determination had her feet planted deep into the ground beneath her. “I _will_ be back,” she said sternly. “I’m not going to mount weather” she assured him but held her frustration.

Bellamy stopped, searching her face. “Where then?” he demanded.

She sighed, her anger and frustration dissolving as she shook her head slowly. “I just need to get out of there” her eyes found his “I’m not leaving,” she said reassuringly.

Bellamy sucked in a long heavy breath and bit down on the inside of his cheek. Clarke may have done a lot of things, but she had only lied to him once before. A lie she offered him to protect him, to shelter him from the truth of his sister’s well-being. But could he believe her now? After everything.

His anger dissipated as he contemplated his next actions. He gave her a small nod releasing her arm, and extending his, gesturing for her to continue on her path. Clarkes eyes searched his, unsure if she had actually won the battle. She slowly faced the forest and continued to walk, Bellamy jogged back to the camp.

*Clarke*

After her talk with Octavia she had to get out of the camp, it was suffocating her. She did not have a specific destination in mind; she just let her feet lead the way.  She walked for hours; when she finally stopped it was only to realize where she was. _Back at the beginning_ she thought grimly as she took her first hesitant step into the dropship. She pulled back the curtain and scanned the room. Her body walked through the ship as her fingers gently brushed over the surfaces. There was a bittersweet familiarity about the place. With every brush of a surface, she remembered different events. Lincoln being tortured….Lincoln being saved….Murphy’s illness….the bullet in Raven…Jasper awakening after the spearing….Finn. She recoiled her hand from the table as if it burned her. Clutching it to her chest, as she gazed at the table where she had saved him. Her hand slowly reached out and took another agonizing trace over the table. Her eyes burned with tears, and her breathing became ragged. Memories surged relentlessly through her mind and tormented her heart.

*Bellamy*

He jogged back to the guard that had opened the gate to Clarke. “Give me your gun” he ordered with an outstretched hand. The guard hesitated and Bellamy quickly stormed in front of him. “That,” he said pointing Clarkes shrinking figure “Is the chancellor’s daughter” he stood toe to toe with the guard, his nose only millimeters away “Give.Me.Your.Damn.Gun” he commanded. The guard, realizing his mistake swallowed hard and handed his gun to Bellamy.

Bellamy snatched it from him and swung the strap over his shoulders. He turned back to the path Clarke had taken and jogged back. He was able to catch up with her quickly, but he held back. He watched her from a distance. She needed her space; he would let her have that.

He stopped at the gate to their old camp, watching as she disappeared into the dropship. Bellamy drew in a heavy breath as his eyes searched the abandoned camp.

 _We survived_ he thought to himself. The carcasses of the torched grounders still remain on the ground around the drop ship. Each one reminding him of all the struggles they have faced. _Together_ he thought as he looked back at the ship.

He smiled as he remembered how Clarke had torn into him from the start, aggravating him to no end. He replayed her standing up to him on their way to find Jasper, how brave she had been. He had been so impressed at that moment, besides Wells, she was the _only_ one confident and stubborn enough to take him on. Wells was never a threat, everyone hated Chancellor Jaha…he always knew he could turn them against Wells if need be. But Clarke, they naturally fell into line behind her. His smile grew with a small laugh as he reminisced about the way she stepped up to him, he had almost conceded to her for a moment but looked at Murphy and regained control. He shook his head, laughing to himself. _Brave Princess_.

His smile faded as he looked up and watched her run from the dropship, stumbling onto her knees. The air in his lungs was heavy, and a sudden weight on his chest made breathing difficult. _You’re in there_ he thought as he watched her struggle with her sobs.

*Clarke*

She grabbed the ground beneath her hands as they balled into fists. She sat up moving her hands to her knees that she was sitting on. Her breathing ragged as sobs tore through her. She hung her head. It was too much, the memories, the emotions, it was just too much.

And yet, somehow it wasn’t enough.

The memories that invaded her mind were slipping. Finns face when they found the bioluminescent creatures for the first time was fading away. She could only see the way he looked at her while he was tied to the pole. His last words burning her ears and ripping at her heart. She forced her head up and looked at the ash-filled remains of the camp. Some part of her telling her that if she looked hard enough that he would be there. A heavy sob surged through her as she fought that part of her.

 _He’s dead, he’s not here_ she reminded herself, but her eyes still searched. Finn _was_ there though. All the good memories she had of him had been in this camp.

She pushed the heels of her hands into her knees as she tried to gain control over her emotions. She willed herself to stop crying.  But it was as if the memories possessed her and she was no longer in control.

Images of Bellamy being beaten by the grounder, and Finn running out to save him flooded her mind. Bellamy carrying Finn through the gates with the knife inside him. Murphy hanging, Bellamy kicking the crate from beneath him, Octavia’s bleeding leg, disease filler kids, the fearful voices on the radio during the battle.

Clarkes head dropped down as she screamed from the invasion. Her hands now gripping her head, pulling her hair as the pain seared through her.

*Bellamy*

Clarke’s screamed pierced straight through him. It was low pitched, and filled with agony. He had given her enough space he thought as he hurried to her side. He dropped down behind her gathering her in his arms. She didn’t even try to fight him. He pulled her between his legs and held her, resting his chin on top of her head. He rocked her gently, as he had done for Octavia when she was little.

His heart was breaking with every sob she let out, but he knew she needed this. She needed to get the pain that consumed her out of her. He held her tightly, and silently.


	19. Scars

Bellamy noticed the sunlight dimming around them as the sun was lowering beneath the thick forest blanket. He knew they needed to head back. He had held Clarke for hours as she cried, they shared no words. She was so tormented he wasn’t even sure if she knew he was there.

“Clarke” he whispered gently to her, rubbing his hand over her arm. She stirred in his arms; slowly uncurling from the tight ball she had contracted into hours before. “We need to head back, it’ll be dark soon,” he said pulling his head back to look at her.

Clarke’s hands wiped her face attempting to hide the evidence of her breakdown. Her jaw clenched and ground her teeth slightly while giving him a nod. She pulled herself from his arms and stood while he did the same. She turned to head back to Camp Jaha when Bellamy reached out for her hand. “Hey,” he said, dropping her hand when she turned to face him. “We did good here.”

Clarke’s haunted eyes met his, and her head shook as she looked throughout the graveyard of a camp. Her eyes returned to his, head still shaking no.

“We were sent here to die, Clarke, you said that yourself” his eyes searching hers, “ _we_ survived, our people survived” he assured her.

“Fifty-five dead” she mumbled dropping her gaze. He stepped to her his finger lifting her chin “forty-five alive” he reflected. He sighed, “We can’t go back Clarke” his hand dropping to his side “What we did. We had to do.”

She shook her head, “If I hadn’t made the alliance-”

“Stop” he warned, “Don’t go there. If you hadn’t made the alliance, the grounders would have slaughtered everyone.”

“And what happened at Mount Weather” he stepped closer to her “If we hadn’t have done that they would have killed everyone too” he sighed. “They would have _never_ stopped. Even if the grounders fought with us, those people would have continued to hunt us.”

“We had to kill them, Clarke, it was them or us. Maybe if Finn hadn’t-”

“I get it, Bellamy! I do!” Clarke snapped, tears reclaiming her eyes. “Our people would be dead, _we_ would be dead-I get it” Bellamy looked at her sympathetically.

“But _don’t_ ” she tried to maintain her anger but her sobs were breaking through. “Don’t talk about him” her voice cracked while her resolve shattered as her tears burst through and streamed down her face. She jerked away from him not wanting him to see.

“Clarke,” he said, his voice breaking. He reached for her but as soon as his fingers grazed her arm she jerked away from him.

“Don’t” she whispered as she leaned against a tree trying to compose herself.

Bellamy came behind her, “You had-”

“No!” she screamed then turned to leave but he placed his hand on the tree, blocking her with his arm. “Clarke,” he said gently. She glared at the arm angrily and then turned the other way.

He grabbed her waist then pushed her gently onto the tree, then braced his other arm so he was blocking her in.

“Hey,” he said dipping down to catch her eyes with his. She averted his eyes. He lifted her chin with his fingers, “there was no way to save him” he said. Clarke’s eyes drifted to the ground, tears silently flowing down her face.

“Would you rather he be tortured?” He asked in a gentle but firm voice.

Her eyes shot to his, “I’d rather he be alive” she snapped coldly.  Bellamy’s head dipped back a bit, his eyes flew up to the left. He thought long and hard about what he should say. What were the words she wanted to hear.

 _Fuck that_ he thought _she may not want to hear this but she needs to_

“What you did” he sighed then grabbed her chin again locking their eyes. “ _That_ saved him” he looked at her, his eyes pleading with hers to drop their guard.

“Finn was already gone” he shook his head. “He was gone the moment he saw that grounder with your fathers watch and nothing-” he dipped down to catch her eye as they averted his again. “Nothing” he continued once he captured her gaze “could have changed that.”

**

Their hike back to camp was a quiet one. However, there was a certain comfort they found in the silence. Clarke followed him willingly into his tent this time, surprising him. He was sure after her breakdown earlier that her guard would be up and she would want to be alone. She lay down on his bed; he tossed a clean shirt at her. She looked at him “Is that a hint?” she asked with a hint of a smirk. He gave a light laugh, “thought you might want to change” he shrugged. Clarke nodded and stood. She turned her back to Bellamy as she peeled her shirt over her head. Bellamy watched, unapologetically. He watched as every inch of her skin revealed itself to him. His eyes softened as the two large scars on her back were revealed. The stitches had been removed and the taut pink scar tissue was forming. He stepped behind her gently tracing around the wounds with his fingers. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as his eyes scanned the damaged skin.

Clarke stood frozen the moment his hands touched her bare skin.

Bellamy's arms snaked around her waist pulling her back against his chest. His head fell to the nape of her neck. “I’m sorry” he whispered into her hair, squeezing her tight. He held here like that for a while, just breathing her in. Without notice, he suddenly spun her around. His eyes are locked with hers; “I’m here” he told her “I will always be here” with that he pulled her back into him. The muscles in his arms contracting tightly around her.

Without hesitation, Clarke leaned into him, her hands fisting the shirt over his chest. She relaxed into him, clinging to him. The safety of his arms engulfed her as she absorbed the moment.

Clarke caught herself all too soon though and pulled back from him. She reached for her shirt, but Bellamy was already pulling his over her arms.  She climbed over the bed to the far side and turned her back to him.

He climbed onto the bed after her and looked over at her with sad eyes. He knew what she was doing. She was pushing him away. She was letting her haunted thoughts consume her. He had felt her relax in his arms. He felt her give into him. He knew he was slowly breaking through her steel walls and bringing life back to the courageous little blonde. But he was also well aware of how hard she was fighting it.

He watched her lay there, two feet away from him. The images of how he found her in Mount Weather swirled through his head and pierced his heart.

“Not tonight,” he said roughly while he wrapped his arm around her waist, then snaked the other under her neck, pulling her into him. “Tonight, _I_ need this,” he said once he had her well into his arms.  He held onto her tight, his head resting on top of hers. It wasn’t a lie. He needed to feel her. He needed to have her safely tucked into him after being reminded of the harsh reality of those wounds. He needed to know she there, and alive, and safe.

*Clarke*

Clarke felt his strength enveloping her, his scent surrounding her. She felt the extra squeezes he embraced her with every few minutes. She could almost hear his thoughts as he did. She couldn’t pull away from him; she couldn’t be selfish enough to deny him this. Her mind wondered as the lay entangled. When his breathing evened, she risked a look at his face. There were little scars that she hadn’t seen before, Small defects that had gone unnoticed. His hair was burying his forehead; small bits of dirt fell into the crevices of his maple skin. She had looked at his face so many times before; she had seen his face full of anger, hate, ghosts…betrayal. _Betrayal_ … _I caused that_ she thought. She timidly reached up and brushed his cheek gently with her fingers. “You were never worth the risk” she whispered.

She continued to study his face then down his strong neck, and over his broad shoulders. The domineeringly large muscular man that he was seemed to have been replaced….here…lying beside her….he appeared so small. His face, though sleeping was washed in worry.

 _What have I done to you_ she thought.

The impenetrable Bellamy Blake was laying before her a helpless boy. Though the security she felt in his arms was far from that offered by a weak boy. No, he still exuded his masculinity and strength as his arms shielded her from the world.  And as much as it terrified Clarke to admit it, her ghosts dissolved with every passing moment. Those arms provided her a safe haven, a retreat from the hell she had been living in. With a simple embrace, she melted into him and released her thoughts. Tonight at least, she could allow herself to just be a girl lying with a man who has always kept her safe. She easily drifted into a deep sleep. A sleep that this time, would not be tormented or haunted, but rather it would be a peaceful one.


	20. Uninvited Guests

There was mass commotion throughout the camp the next morning; grounders had been spotted in the forest nearby. Panic consumed the majority of the arkers, curiosity consumed the rest. Their reactions resulted in a scattered rush to the gate. Besides the local village that Lincoln and Octavia had visited on occasion, there had been no communications with the grounders since they abandoned them at mount weather. The viability of the previously arranged alliance was a common topic that invaded every council meeting. Kane always pushing to maintain a truce and arrange a meeting, Abby agreed with him sometimes…other times she fought against him. Bellamy’s reaction was always the same mentality, _there never was an alliance_.

The people at Camp Jaha all clambered toward the gate to view the visitors. Abby and Kane soon appeared as well, “open the gate” Kane ordered. The guards had their guns aimed at the grounders, ready for an attack. Bellamy approached holding his weapon in front of him, though he kept it pointed at the ground, his finger hovering over the safety. He didn’t trust the grounders….he never had, and he never would. Trusting the grounders, in Bellamy’s eyes, never ended well.

The gate creaked open and revealed three large black horses, two grounders mounted on two of the massive animals. The grounders attire was different from what they had seen with Lexa’s people. While Lexa’s people usually wore black, these grounders had lighter colors. The very sight of them intimidated most of the Arker’s, and they slowly retreated back a few paces.

One of the grounders called out, “We come from the Ice Nation. We wish to speak with your Heda”.  Kane stepped in front of Abby, walking slowly towards the grounders.  “How can I help you?” he asked, Abby quickly approaching by his side, Bellamy trailing behind them.

“You are not the Heda,” the grounder said in a thick voice not providing Kane with a second glance.

Abby took a small step forward, “I am in charge, what is it that you need.”

The grounders looked at Abby for a moment then at each other. Time seemed to drag on, no one is sure what these grounders wanted or had planned.  All were on edge, as it appeared that the grounders were becoming irritated their penetrating voices ringing in everyone’s ears. The language spoken between them was foreign to the Arkers but their body language was all too clear. They were growing increasingly angry.

The grounders heated conversation ceased when they suddenly took an interest in something behind Abby, Kane, and Bellamy. The three leaders caught on and slowly followed their eyes.

She too had noticed the commotion and was walking towards the gate.

 _Damn it_ Bellamy grumbled to himself, then turned back to face the grounders. He was gripping his gun tighter now and flipped the safety off. 

Clarke continued to walk towards the dangerous strangers, but Bellamy blocked her with his back. His eyes darted back to her for a split second silently telling her to stay behind him. Then he immediately turned back to the grounders.

“Heda” the grounders called to her respectfully.

Clarke attempted to step around Bellamy, but he blocked her again, his grip firm on his weapon. His eyes bore threats into her, “don’t” he warned her in a throaty voice. Once she obeyed he snapped his head back to the grounders. He kept his back brushing against Clarke’s chest so he knew where she was.  If she tried to move around him, he would feel it and prevent it.

“What do you want?” He demanded to the grounders.

“Our King requests an audience with your Heda.”

Abby took another step forward; the grounder on the left raised his hand. The movement caused all of the guards to take sharper aim with their weapons.

“Not you” his thick voice cut “Her,” he said pointing to Clarke.

“No” Bellamy growled without hesitation.

“Let her go” Jasper shouted as he appeared from the parting crowd. Shocked faces encompassed him; this was the first he had spoken in weeks.  Slowly he approaches Clarke, Bellamy’s arm circled behind him and around her protectively. He’s unsure of what Jasper may do at this moment.  Jasper stops just short of them, his eyes locked with Clarkes the entire time. “It’s what you do. Right?” He said, his voice seemed cold but indiscernibly so.  For a moment, they stare into each other, then Clarke’s eyes drop to the ground and she turns back to face the grounders. A veil of determination curtained over her face as she called to them.

“I’ll go,” Clarke said stepping out from behind Bellamy. Bellamy flew around to face her. “No. You won’t” he commanded, towering over her.

“Get out of my way Bellamy,” she said making a move to pass him. He blocked her again. “Do I need to remind you how this went down last time?” he snapped impatiently.

Her chin rose defiantly against him as her face hardened.  “Move” she demanded

Bellamy felt a hand on his shoulder and he spun around ready for a fight. Kane dropped his hand from his shoulder and raised it to show he meant no harm.

“Let her hear what they have to say,” Kane said calmly. Bellamy used all of his energy at the moment to not hit Kane. “She is still fucked up from Lexa. Do we-” his words evaporated as his attention was drawn elsewhere when he noticed a pile of blonde hair approaching the mounted grounders. He rushed to her side, pushing through Kane and Abby.

“A day’s journey” he heard the grounder tell her as he trotted up beside her.

Clarke nodded; “I’ll grab my pack,” she said and turned from the grounders walking to Abby’s quarters.

Bellamy stormed after her grabbing her upper arm, “have you lost your damn mind?” he snapped in a throaty voice.

She ignored him and opened the door to Abby’s quarters, shaking her arm from his grasp. She was reaching for her pack when she was suddenly whirling through the air stopping only when her back slammed into the wall. Bellamy stood over her, his arms at his side with his hands balled into fists.  She raised her head and glared up at him. The look in her eyes took Bellamy by surprise. Bellamy recognized the look in her eyes, he _knew_ that look. Clarke’s eyes had bore into him countless times before, the same way they did at the dropship. Those eyes that could infuriate him to no end, but the same eyes that always offered forgiveness.

The tortured veil that once shadowed her crystal blue eyes had disappeared. He could see flickers of the fire lurking within her in those familiar eyes. Any other time this altercation would have brought a sense of relief to Bellamy, to see Clarke was back to normal.  That he could finally see _her_ when he looked at her. But not _this_ time. No. She chose this- _this_ time to find herself.

 _Damn your stubborn ass_ he thought as he glared down at her.

Somehow, they had reached a point where their eyes were arguing the fight for them. Their words seemed obsolete for a few minutes as their eyes managed to continue the battle.

“You’re not going” he growled in a low raspy voice.

Annoyance rained over her face and she shoved him, hard, her unhealed muscles and wounds screaming in agony as she did. Though she pushed with all her might, It wasn’t enough; Bellamy was a brick wall in front of her. No matter how much she had healed…she would never be strong enough to move him.

“Do _you_ want to find out what happens if I don’t go? Cause I don’t” she snapped at him. There was a strange familiarity to the situation, and it was weakening Clarke’s anger. Bellamy stood statuesque with his arms crossed over his broad chest. His stance was hard and guarded, but the intensity of his glare reflected something else….something softer.

“Bellamy” She sighed looking up at him, “You said it yourself, the alliance is shaky at best. We can’t trust it” The anger that filled her voice before had vanished; reason replaced the void it left.

His eyes broke from hers as he contemplated the possibilities. He looked back at Clarke. Here she was….the girl he continued to fight to bring back out….here she was.

 _Damn_ he cursed to himself his hand raking through his dark curls.

He reached down and grabbed Clarkes pack shoving it at her forcing her to step back from its impact against her chest. “I’m coming with you” he snarled and spun around to leave.

“There’s only one horse” she called to him.

He spun back around and pressed close to her, his lips just inches from hers. She pushed back into the wall behind her, but he followed denying any distance between them. He looked her up and down then smirked and said “Then I won’t be far if you decide to do something _else_ stupid.” With that, he turned and stormed away, Clarke hot on his heels.

Abby blocked Clarke at the arks entrance with her outstretched arms, “Clarke you can’t do this. You’re not even healed yet.”

Clarke glared at her; Bellamy and Abby dictating her actions was fueling her fire. She knew the meeting was risky, but what hadn’t been risky on this planet. Everything had been hard since the moment they landed, everything had been a battle. She had come to the conclusion that it was always going to be that way.

“We need an alliance,” she said brushing past her mother. But she stopped shortly after passing her and turned back to face her, “One we can trust”.  She turned back and marched out of the camp.

Kane’s hand landed on Abby’s shoulder when she went to follow Clarke. Abby’s eyes found his, Kane shook his head. “She _needs_ to do this,” he said with authority. Abby looked back at her daughters shrinking form. _She’s just a kid_ the thought reverberated through Abby as she watched her daughter walk away.  

Bellamy approached the horse and mounted it; he held his hand down for Clarke. She grabbed onto it and he swung her on the horse behind him. “Don’t fall” he teased with a small smirk, gathering the reigns in one of his hands.

Clarke sat behind Bellamy, her chest pressed to his back. Her arms hung idly by her sides.

The grounders broke off into a gallop with their horses.

Bellamy gave the horse a kick and held Clarkes thigh with his free hand. “Hold on” he snapped at her. She hesitated, but soon realized with the force of the horses gait under her, she would either have to hold on….or fall off.  She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on.

They rode like that for an hour before the grounders slowed their horses to walk through a congested tree filled path. Clarkes grip loosened on Bellamy, her hands sliding around his waist and gently resting there. Bellamy had dropped his hand from her thigh when she had finally grabbed him. Feeling her release her grip on him he reached over and grabbed it again, giving it a comforting squeeze. Having her behind him like this brought him some comfort...

S _he’s safe_ he thought. He knew he could easily protect her with her behind him like this. _And she can’t do anything too stupid_ he smiled to himself

Clarke, on the other hand, was rebelling against holding onto him. She didn’t want to hold him; she didn’t like how close they were. She didn’t like how it made her feel to press against him. She fought against the tingling in her thigh beneath his hand.

 _Too close_ she thought as she loosened her grip even more, leaning back slightly from him. 

A few more hours passed, and Clarke’s body subconsciously began to lean more into Bellamy. Maybe it was from exhaustion. Maybe it was the change in scenery, or the wind beating against her face as the powerful horse galloped underneath them. Maybe it was the new smells invading her nose, intriguing her eyes to take it all in. Maybe it was the distance they were creating between them and their past. Something changed throughout the day. Towards the end of their journey, she was hugging him from behind with her head comfortably resting on his back. For the first time in a long time, Clarke didn’t feel haunted. She didn’t feel the weight of the world on her. She wasn’t drowning in expectations or lives depending on her. She didn’t feel the pain or the torment of her past. All she felt was Bellamy. His body in front of her and his resolve to keep her safe. He had been there with her through everything.  He had morphed from an arrogant, rebellious delinquent into a selfless savior…a hero. This was the same man that had considered dropping her into a pit of spikes soon after they landed over a wristband. Now…here he was remaining by her, through everything. Through the good decisions and the bad ones, through the lives saved, and those lost…he was always with her. When she wasn’t able to stand on her own, he was standing for her. He never caudled her, and never let her give up. His presence alone had given her the strength she needed to battle her inner turmoil.

“Bellamy?” Clarke asked softly when they had some distance between themselves and the grounders.

“Yea” he replied as the rode on, his eyes carefully observing the path ahead of him.

“Why haven’t you given up on me?”  She asked gently as she stared at him from behind.

He smirked and looked over his shoulder at her, “Cause you haven’t given up on me.”

A small smile crept onto her face. Perhaps the first smile she hadn’t forced in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments they really motivate me to keep writing this :)  
> They'll be some old characters coming in soon.


	21. Wine, Dine, and it's about damn time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter does contain sexually graphic material

It was dark when they finally arrived at the Ice Nations temporary camp. The appearance of the camp was similar to what they had seen with Lexa’s people, but the clothing was lighter in color. There were no elderly or children, only warriors. Bellamy’s eyes surveyed the camp as he attempted to commit it to memory.

 _Too many_ he thought as he lost count of the grounders in the make-shift camp.

A large grounder grabbed the reins of their horse near its muzzle speaking to them in his native tongue. Bellamy searched for the two they had followed, but they disappeared into the camp. His eyes fell back on the man holding the horse as he scanned over him. This grounder stood as tall as their horse, his scars displayed as clearly as the weapons attached to him. He felt Clarke shift behind him.

 _Damn it_ Bellamy silently cursed as he saw her sliding down the side of the horse. He swung his leg over and dropped in front of her, separating her from the grounder.  The grounder walked away with the horse without a word or another look in their direction. Bellamy and Clarkes eye’s locked, both searching for what the next move was.

“Sky people welcome to my camp” A boisterous voice exclaimed. It came from a grounder decorated in opulent gold sashes his clothes were various shades of white. His dark brown hair was slicked back giving him a false appearance of youth.  He stood as tall as Bellamy, with the same muscular demeanor.  His arms were outstretched with his greeting, and a large grin on his face.

“I am Rodineur King of the Ice Nation” he boasted as he approached them. Despite the man’s friendly disposition, Bellamy continued to stand firm, untrusting of the man before them.  The Kings eyes locked with Clarkes, “Ah you must be Clarke” he said with great admiration. Too much admiration for Bellamy. Clarke was still half behind him, and Bellamy’s slightly extended arm was keeping it that way. But as the King came to Clarkes another side he grabbed her hand and tucked into the inside of his elbow, leading her into the camp. Bellamy cursed silently at the man and followed close behind.

“I have waited many weeks to find you Clarke of the Sky people” he reported as he led her into a large tent with a long table inside it. The room was spacious and displayed hints of gold.

“Come. We feast to the occasion” he declared as he pulled a chair, gesturing for her to sit. She complied, Bellamy sat beside her and the King took a seat at the head of the table…which was next to her.  Three grounders circled the table and placed plates full of exotic foods in front of them.  Another filled their gold glasses with a deep red liquid, and then they filed out of the room.

Clarke looked at the contents of her cup; she had never seen such a color in liquid form. The aroma of it teased her senses as she breathed it in.

“Its wine” Rodineur gleamed as he leaned into her “It will please you” he smiled at her. Every word that slide off his tongue seemed to be laced with hidden meanings. None of which went unnoticed by Bellamy. He eyed the plate of food on the table in front of him, skepticism and previous experiences told him not to trust such an offer.

Bellamy's eyes darted to Clarke as she lifted her gold cup in her hand further eyeing the mysterious liquid. She brought the cup to her lips curiously taking a sip of the crimson juice. Bellamy held his breath, the scene of Gustas thrusting over the table seared through his mind.

“Mmm,” he heard the sound escape Clarke’s lips as she lowered the cup from them. His breath caught in his throat….waiting.

 _Has she completely lost it_ his mind wondered as he watched her and the King carefully. _She shouldn’t trust them so easily._

After some time, Clarke’s eyes found his and there was a sparkle in them he hadn’t seen before. “Try it” she offered pointing to his cup. Bellamy gave her a look of disapproval. She replied with a roll of her eyes, “it’s good” she said in a sing-song voice.

Bellamy ate a few bites of the food and washed it down with the wine. He couldn’t deny that it was good, but he was too consumed with observing everything that he found no pleasure in it.

There was a certain carefree attitude Clarke exuded well into the meal, it put Bellamy on alert. His eyes roamed over her searching for the source of her current uncharacteristic state. The longer they were there, the worse it was. Her laughter filled the tent at one point when the Rodineur told them a joke.

 _This isn’t right_ he thought as he continued to monitor her. The way the King constantly leaned into her put Bellamy on edge. When he placed his hand over hers Bellamy damn near exploded. A purely feral instinct overcame him at the sight of the innocent touch. His near attack went unnoticed as they were already rising from their seats.   
“Let us talk business” the King declared as she once again tucked her hand into his inner elbow leading her to another part of the massive tent.  This section had a smaller table, surrounded by ornate benches. Everything seemed to be dusted with gold.

“Leave us” the King ordered Bellamy with a dismissive wave. Instantly Bellamy’s jaw clenched, the muscles in it twitching from the powerful contraction. His eyes narrowed as his mouth opened to respond. Clarke’s gentle touch on his arm brought him back from the rage that was encompassing him.

“He stays,” she said with authority to Rodineur taking him by surprise.  The displeasure of her actions was clearly evident on the king’s his face. Bellamy sat beside her, leaving little room between them.

The King shook off his disapproval eventually and requested more wine from his guard. Their cups refilled more times than could be counted, but Bellamy refused to drink it.  Another hour had passed before they began to discuss politics.

“It’s simple dear Clarke,” Rodineur said with a sly grin, “You come to my nation, see my kingdom. Meet my people. Then we may from our alliance.”

Bellamy’s glare on Clarke hardened, he had heard enough. And he knew all too well the look in her eyes.  

 _That damn look_ he inwardly cursed when it revealed itself.

“An alliance can be made here. We’re not going” his throaty voice said, attempting to keep his anger in check.

Rodineur bellowed, “No _you_ are not going anywhere” he laughed “Your Heda is.” Bellamy’s hands balled into tight fists on the bench beside him. The king leaned into Clarke “My people want to see this beautiful Heda that has fought so well against our enemies”.

“She’s not going with you” Bellamy growled, his resolve to control his anger fading fast. His fists pushed deeper into the bench.

The King’s smiling face surrendered to a menacing one as he glared into Bellamy. He took a deep breath and smiled again, “Let us rest on it-We’ll talk more in the morning” he called something to one of his guards in their language.

“Cytok will show you to your tent,” he said with a generous smile then left. Bellamy and Clarke followed Cytok to their tent without a word. Bellamy’s anger was steaming off of him while Clarke’s mind mauled over the options. “It is there” Cytok pointed to a tent at the edge of the camp. It was secluded from the others.

Bellamy dragged Clarke to their tent by her bicep. He pushed her into it in front of him, and then closed the opening behind him.

“You _are not_ going with him” he snapped at her.

Clarke looked up at him; the pure determination in her eyes spoke for her.

He stalked to her, “Do you remember what I said?” he asked in a low raspy voice. The question came out as more of a threat than a question.

Clarke looked away from him, brushing past him. “This isn’t Emerson” she shook her head.

He grabbed her arm again and swung her back to him, “damn right it isn’t-they are _grounders._ ”

He locked eyes with her and pulled her all the way to him, leaning over her. “Since when has _anything_ good come from grounders?” he growled. Clarke didn’t respond, but her eyes soften forcing Bellamy's bruising grip to soften on her arm.

“Clarke” he sighed, running his hand through his dark locks. “I just got you back” his voice cracked. The once brawny and impenetrable Bellamy Blake was crumbling before her. The last few weeks had chipped away at his armor and he was completely bare. Clarke had been his rock since landing on Earth. She challenged him, infuriated him, and pushed him. But she had also saved him, motivated him, and forgiven him. He would have murdered her mother with his war against the ark when they had arrived, and yet she forgave him. She made him want to be someone he was proud of, someone _she_ was proud of, someone she wouldn’t have to forgive. His need to protect her was instinctual, but it wasn’t the same as it was towards Octavia. Octavia insisted, and proved, that she didn’t need him. Clarke however, asked him to protect her their second day on Earth…and she had never stopped.

Clarke could see the desperation shifting in his eyes. She could see the poor broken boy under all the hard lines and scars.  “I _need_ to do this” she whispered as she walked passed him.

Bellamy snapped. He had spent too long on this god forsaken planet fighting and battling for everyone. He had spent too long trying to save this girl in one way or another. He had spent too long waiting for her to see how much he really cared.

He grabbed her arm again and pulled her roughly to his chest. He stared into her eyes as his hand moved to the small of her back, the other weaving its way into her golden hair. They looked into each other, everything dissolving around them. Everything they had done everything that was done to them, everything they had yet to do- it all just disappeared. They were no longer two leaders fighting for their people; they were merely innocent young adults gazing into each other.

Bellamy’s eyes slowly wandered down to her lips before returning to her eyes. For Clarke, the world was slowly reappearing and she opened her mouth to protest. But Bellamy wasn’t stopping; he crashed his lips onto hers. Clarke instantly melted into him, her lips falling in sync with his soft ones. Bellamy’s hand gripped the back of her head while the one on her back closed any distance between them. Bellamy nipped at her bottom lip then used the opening to greet her mouth with his tongue.  The kiss was hard, animalistic; the hunger burning within him was insatiable. Clarke was completely his at that moment; she melted more into him at his every touch and kiss.   
“I need you” he whispered into her ear. He ripped the shirt she had on over her head then crashed his lips back onto hers. She moaned as his hand found her breast.  “Bellamy” she cried softly.

His name moaning across her lips sent him over the edge. He needed her….he needed her now.

He broke his lips from hers untying her pants and yanking them to her feet. She stepped out of them kicking her boots aside. He tore his shirt off and pulled his pants down. He grabbed the back of her thighs and pulled her to his waist, stalked over to the bed dropping them onto it.  Their mouths never ceasing their battle with one another.

 The tenacious hunger for her raged within him and he thrust hard into her muffling her scream with his mouth. He pulled her legs up around his waist and continued to pound into her. She desperately clawed at his back, attempting to pull him closer. He wanted to be gentle. Every time he had thought of this moment, he had planned to be gentle. But nothing about them was ever gentle.  His desire for her consumed him at that moment. He continued his hard thrusts until her body clenched around him and she trembled beneath him crying his name. His body gave in at the same moment. He crumbled over her. Their ragged breathing replaced the moans and cries that previously filled the room.

He would not bring himself to look at her; he just buried his face in her neck holding her body under him. Clarke’s arms are locked around him, her face pressed into his neck.  They held clung onto each other, desperately needing to keep the other close. The realization of just how much they needed that closeness petrified them both.


	22. The Morning After

*Bellamy*

Bellamy's eyes flew open from a stinging pain accompanying a popping noise on the side of his face.

Raven withdrew her hand from the slap she had given him, “Damn Blake, we thought you were dead”. Bellamy tried to move his hand, only to find it restrained above his head. He swiveled on the balls of his feet to look above him just as a rope was dropped on his face. His exhausted arms crashing down the length of his chest, still tied at the wrists.

“Sorry,” he heard Miller mutter then saw him drop beside him from the tree. Raven pulled a knife from her pocket and began cutting the rope constraining his wrists. 

“What happened?” He asked, rubbing his wrists once Raven freed them. Her confused face shot to him.

“We were kinda hoping you could answer that one.”

Bellamy tried to remember. He could remember the tent, and Clarke “Clarke” he choked out. His eyes searched the faces surrounding him for the tumultuous blonde.

“She’s not here” Raven reported slowly as she read the panic in his eyes when he said her name.

 _Damn it!_ He cursed himself _Remember!_ He tried, but the only memory he could conjure was that of him and Clarke in the tent. _That_ he could remember in great detail.  Frustrated, he shook his head.

Lincoln came in front of him, his faces inches away and smelled his breath. Bellamy shoved him back. “Duneion” Lincoln stated looked at Octavia. “It’s a herb; it’s used to cause sleep.”

“How long does it work?” Octavia asked coming next to her brother.

“eight to ten hours” he replied as he looked around the area. “There’s no trail” he stated. “They probably used it to get away.”

“We weren’t fighting,” Bellamy said still trying to wrap his head around everything. The situation was baffling to him. _Why would they leave me here…tied to a tree_. He tried to force the previous evening’s events into his head, but to no avail. Anything before going pushing Clarke into the tent was a mystery to him.

“Wait” he paused looking to Raven with narrow eyes, “Why are _you_ here?”

“We followed you” Octavia interjected. “We were well behind, takes longer on foot.”

“Why?” he inquired confused by their presence.

“Seeing as we found you tied to a tree….I think it’s obvious” Raven quipped as she stuffed the rope into her pack for later use.

Lincoln came to stand in front of him “Relax. Try to think back. What do you remember?”

Bellamy’s hand covered his eyes in frustration; he could see Clarke underneath him, he could taste her kiss, he could feel her nails scratching down his back. He sighed frustratedly and mumbled, “Nothing relevant.”

“Think” Lincoln pushed. Bellamy moved from him and paced around them.

“I don’t know” he groaned, obscure images flashed into his head, “We ate dinner with the king, he wanted an alliance” Bellamy’s frustration was growing.

“Another great alliance” Raven muttered sarcastically.

Bellamy’s eyes flew off the ground and caught Lincoln’s as the realization dawned on him.  “He wanted Clarke” he breathed. He closed the distance between them; his face reflected the anger beginning to boil in him. Lincoln seemed to understand why without asking.

“Why would he want Clarke?” Octavia asked, annoyed that the two men seemed to be sharing an unspoken knowledge. 

“We have to find them,” Bellamy told Lincoln ignoring his sister’s question.

“ _Why_ would they want Clarke?” Octavia asked again, growing irritated.

“Lexa” Lincoln answered turning to face her.

“I don’t get it” Raven snipped entering the conversation.

“Clarke was close to Lexa, the king thinks she has information about her that he can use. His queen used the same tactic in the past” Lincoln informed maintaining eye contact with Bellamy.

Lincoln moved and trailed around the area around them, desperately searching for any sign of the ice nation grounders. Anything that could say which direction they were heading. Anything.  Despite his effort, he was unable to find any sign of the path that was taken.

“They have gone to great lengths to conceal their path” Lincoln state. “What I don’t understand is” he faced Bellamy “Why are you still alive?” The question was blunt, but not without merit. Killing him was an obvious solution, leaving him alive meant there was something else at play.

Raven’s head tilted, “You don’t think Clarke” she hesitated when she saw the glare Bellamy was giving her “ _wanted_ to go with them?” The question burned through Bellamy’s ears, the hard truth that lay beneath it was piercing his heart.

“No” his voice was low and hoarse. He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t. Not after what happened between him and Clarke, she wouldn’t leave him. _No,_ he reminded himself.

“Look. She tried to leave once. Are you sure she-” Raven continued uncharacteristically cautious? Bellamy’s hands balled into tighter fists with each word that came out of her. His body and mind resisting the thought that Clarke would actually do that.

“NO!” he barked at her, then stormed to Lincoln. “How can we find them?” His throaty voice flooded with anger.

Lincoln locked eyes with Octavia before he turned to Bellamy, “My people have been at war with their tribe for many years. We do not travel in that region. I only know that the Ice Nation is north and a long journey.”

Bellamy’s fingers raked harshly through his dark locks then grasped the back of his neck as his head fell backward.

“They must know the boundaries,” Octavia said to Lincoln, “We could find our way from there.”

Lincoln shook his head, “there is too much land that they claim. We would never cover it all without being exposed as a threat and killed.”

Bellamy shot his head to Lincoln, “The commander” he said dropping his hand from his neck “She would have to know, right?” 

“Are you serious right now?” Raven interjected while Lincoln nodded to Bellamy. Bellamy contemplated his decision for a moment. Raven jumped to face him, “that bitch left us to die” she exclaimed Bellamy ignored her. Raven clenched a fistful of his jacket as he brushed past her yanking him to a stop. “We can’t trust her,” she said staring into his eyes to convince him.

He pushed her arm away with his large one, “It’s our only option”. Raven shook her head,  “So what? We’re just gonna walk in there with our fingers crossed hoping that they don’t kill us on the spot?” she mocked. 

“Lexa won’t kill us if she knows about Clarke” Octavia piped in falling in line with the plan. Raven rolled her eyes, and Bellamy eyed his sister assessing the meaning behind her words.  Raven stopped in front of Octavia, “Am I the _only_ one forgetting that she left all of us to _die._ ”

“Clarke means something to her, she will give us an audience” Lincoln calmly informed.  Bellamy's gaze drifted to Lincoln. He knew he needed the commander to help him, he knew it was a long shot. What he didn’t know is why these two thought she would help them for Clarke. He dismissed his thoughts quickly then approached Lincoln, “Lead the way” his voice taut ordered.

Raven dropped her head back, her hands planted firmly on her hips. Irritation filled her voice, “This is a dumb idea Blake.”

Lincoln and Octavia began hiking; Miller came behind Raven when Bellamy held his hand up to stop them. “You’re not coming” he declared in a husky voice. Raven’s head cocked to the eyes as her brows rose challenging him. “If this doesn’t work” he breathed “Somebody needs to tell the chancellor” he explained. Raven left her unconvinced expression, “If this doesn’t work You’ll.Be.Dead” her snarky tone scratching on his frustration. He rolled his eyes, “If I don’t try. Clarke will be” he sighed.

“We don’t know that. She could have-”, Bellamy grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, pinning both of her arms behind her with his hand. His free hand grabbed the rope dangling from her pack. “What the fuck are you doing?” she cursed forcefully struggling to free her hands. Bellamy tied the rope around her wrists tight and then shoved her at Miller. “Take her back to camp” he ordered, then pointed to her arms “that stays on ‘til you get there.”

Miller nodded his confirmation. “Miller I’ll fuckin kill you” Raven threatened when he grabbed her arm to lead her back. “Not like that you won’t” he laughed. Bellamy jogged to catch up with Lincoln and Octavia, Ravens cursing and threats fading as he did.

**

They hiked for hours through the forest.  “Any chance we won’t be killed when we get there?” Bellamy asked Lincoln when Octavia was ahead of them. “She needs to know our intentions before we get there” Lincoln answered with certainty.

“How do we do that?” Bellamy’s husky voice revealed his determination.

“There is a village near here, I will ask for a messenger” Lincoln looked at Bellamy.  Bellamy gave him a nod then carried on watching his sister.

After a while, Bellamy broke their silence, “Why are you so sure she will want to help us?”

Lincoln spoke hesitantly, “She favors for her.” Bellamy’s eyes bounced off the ground as he digested the words. There were dozens of other questions that swirled in his head, but he couldn’t decide if he really wanted answers.

“She left her to die,” he said in a snarky tone.

“That was the decision of a leader with the weight of thirteen clans on her shoulders” Bellamy glared at him. “I do not condone it” Lincoln offered, “but it broke her to tell Clarke.”

“Not enough to stay” Bellamy grumbled “this _is_ a bad idea” he sighed looking ahead of them

“She will see us” Lincoln comforted. “But will she kill us?” Bellamy questioned glancing over at him.

*Back at Camp Jaha*

Miller rubbed his jaw while he trailed behind the newly freed Raven through the gate. Her fury unleashed itself with a strong punch to his jaw the moment he untied her hands. She let out several curses and threats as she stomped ahead of him into camp. Kane met them in the middle of the camp, his eyes scanning the terrain behind them for the missing people. His eyes narrowed as he shifted his gaze to Miller, “Where are the others that left with you?” he inquired.

“ _Bellamy_ took them to Polis” Raven snarled. Kane looked at her with confusion. “We found Bellamy tied to tree” Miller explained.

“And Clarke?” Kane prodded. Miller shook his head, “He said they made it to the camp and had dinner with the King. They must have drugged their food because he woke up when we found him. Couldn’t remember how he got there.”

“Why would he go to Polis?” Kane asked.

“He’s under the impression that the same bitch that left us will roll out the red carpet for him and help him” Raven mocked angrily. Miller rolled his eyes, “She’s the only one that knows how to find the Ice Nation” he conveyed.

“She’s also the one that LEFT US ALL TO DIE!” Raven shouted throwing her hands in the air. Wick jogged to her and pulled her away from the two….much to her dismay.

Kane focused his attention on Miller. “Does he have a plan?” he asked uncertain he wanted an answer.

“Usually does” Miller shrugged.

*Bellamy*

They built a small fire, Octavia slept while the two men sat near the flames.

Lincoln studied Bellamy’s expression for a long while until Bellamy grew tired of ignoring it. “What?” he asked as he stared into the flames. “Are you sure she didn’t leave willing?” Lincoln gently inquired. Bellamy picked a small rock off the ground at his feet, mindlessly playing with it. His answer took a long time to come out, but Lincoln waited patiently.

“If she did this” Bellamy’s voice was filled with gravel, “she’s gonna have to look me in the eye” He threw the rock into the black of the night.

“Until then” he faced Lincoln “I won’t believe she did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know......I pulled a Jason (he gives you the Bellarke moment, then seperates them).....I was just pulled in that direction. I promise I'll make up for it, and the path to reuniting will bring other characters into the story line.  
> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave comments, they are my motivation to keep writing :)


	23. Common Enemies/ Common Bounds

*Bellamy*

Bellamy took note of the dilapidated buildings surrounding them. These were the first buildings he had ever seen, even in their current state he was awed by them. Lincoln led them down a paved path through the buildings. Eventually, the buildings became more stable; they had obviously been preserved or reconstructed. They stopped outside of a large building with ornate burgundy drapes on the outside. Two large grounders stood guard at the entryway. Lincoln said something in their native tongue, and one of them went into the building.  Bellamy felt uneasy; he gripped his gun as he looked around the large city. They were in the middle of thousands of grounders, the epitome of being in the lion's den.

The grounder reappeared and held the curtain back leaving room for the group to enter. Bellamy followed behind Lincoln, and the rest piled behind him. The room was large, the ceiling was twenty feet high, and large pillars lined their pathway. Bellamy observed in his surroundings, counting grounders as he passed them. Noting the masses that surrounded him, he was comforted by agreeing to leave Octavia at the village where Lincoln had sent the messenger from. There were too many grounders, too much uncertainty about the outcome of their visit.

His eyes landed on Lexa, who was sitting on an opulent thrown at the end of the room.

“Why have you come here?” She demanded while without looking at them. Bellamy knew he had to be civil, but he wanted to wrap his hands around her throat.

“Clarke” He managed to get out with a mostly decent tone

“She is not here,” Lexa said leaning forward, apparently he had piqued her interest.

“The Ice Nation has taken her” Lincoln interjected before _Bellamy_ could begin his verbal assault.

Lexa’s head tilted slightly, she slipped for a moment and her emotions shown through her charcoal covered eyes. She sucked in a quiet breath regaining control and her indifferent composure.

“Then she is dead,” she said coldly. Bellamy could hear through her icy tone, he could hear the pain that lay beneath. He just wasn’t sure why it was there, but he could use it to his advantage if needed.

“Where are they?!” Bellamy demanded storming to her but was blocked by two large grounders.

Lexa's eyebrow twitched upward, and after a moment she rose to her feet.

“You will die if you go there,” she said staring deep into him, her tone flat and devoid of emotion.

“Where-are-they?” He repeated slowly.

Lexa paced slowly behind the grounders blocking him, glancing at him every few steps. She waved her hand and spoke in her native tongue. The two guards moved back to their original positions. She approached Bellamy slowly, “You would _die_ in such a way for her?” she questioned. There was more meaning behind her question, a perverse curiosity strewn within it.

“I won’t leave her there” Bellamy growled trying to keep control of himself.

Lexa gave a nod then continued to saunter through the room. She turned to him.

“The clans has a summit in a two days, the Ice Nation will be there,” she said then turned her attention to a few trinkets on the table near her. “I will inquire about her” she set down the trinket, “and I will send a rider to inform you of what I learn.”

“I’m coming with you,” Bellamy said. Lexa’s eyes rose to meet his, she sauntered back in front of him. Her eyes took him in, beginning with his feet and ending on his own.  She was clearly not happy about his comment but intrigued none the less.

“We leave at dawn” She replied coldly.

*A while Later*

A friend of Lincolns offered them a room to sleep in, and dinner. Bellamy sat on his bed staring at the wall in front of him. Lincoln entered the room, “You should eat” he said extending a plate of food to him. Bellamy's eyes met his, “I don’t trust her” he replied flatly.

Lincoln swallowed and nodded in agreement. “We will stay alert” he stated, “but for now, eat. The journey is long you will need strength”. Bellamy took the plate from him and eyed the food, “sure she didn’t poison it?” he laughed to Lincoln, only half joking. Lincoln shook his head and sat on the bed across from Bellamy, facing him. “She needs us” he replied.

Bellamy’s brows drew together, “she needs us _?”_  He scoffed “She doesn’t seem the type to _need_ anyone”.

“If Clarke is found. Heda is aware that she does not have her trust. She needs _us_ for that.”

Bellamy nodded and began to eat.

*The next morning*

Bellamy and Lincoln were instructed to stand outside Lexa’s building.  She came through the doors surrounded by her usual guard. She mounted the horse awaiting her and began their journey to the summit.

Bellamy's eyes had caught Lincolns before they followed. Only Lexa and a large grounder beside her were provided horses, Bellamy, Lincoln and the two dozen other grounders trailed behind on foot.

“The summit must be to discuss the alliance between the clans” Lincoln informed Bellamy quietly. Bellamy’s eyes narrowed, “I thought there was a truce with them?”

Lincoln shook his head, “We had a common enemy.”

“Mount Weather” Bellamy filled in

Lincoln nodded, “With that enemy gone, there is no common ground. The summit will allow the clans to renegotiate terms or…” he didn’t need to finish, Bellamy could read it all over his face

“Declare war” he finished for him. Lincoln nodded solemnly. “Great” Bellamy sighed then carried on with the hike.

They hiked until the early evening when the grounders scurried to construct their makeshift camp.

Bellamy stood towards the edge of the camp gazing out into the unknown.

“We will arrive in the morning” Lexa informed him as she stepped beside him. He nodded.

“You won’t find her alive” She coldly told him as she too gazed into the abyss.

“She’s alive” he replied with confidence

“How can you be so sure? The Ice Nation is known for its cruelty” She asked turning to face him. A lopsided grin formed on his face revealing his dimple, “because she’s too stubborn to die” he laughed out. 

Lexa walked a few steps back into the camp, then turned back to face him. “You are a good warrior Bellamy of the Sky People” she commanded him “You fought bravely and freed your people.” His face hardened instantly and shifted to face her, “I don’t leave my people behind” he said flatly.

“Neither do I” Her indifference was clawing away at Bellamy.

“No. but you left us to die” He accused. “ _You_ are not my people” her callous tone chipping at him.

He crossed his arms over his broad chest, “You would have never gotten close enough to make that deal if I hadn’t been on the inside.”

“You are a good warrior” she repeated.

He took a threatening step towards her causing her guards to draw closer until she raised her hand to stop them “You’re people are free because of what _I_ did, not you.”

“You won the war, your people _are_ free” She replied back coolly, unaffected by his challenging words.

“There was a price for winning that battle” She caught the subliminal tones of his words but ignored the intrigued to discover their meaning.

“Lives are lost in every battle” she dismissed

He stepped up to her again, “We didn’t just lose lives” he growled, “we lost Clarke” he glared down at her. His large body completely overshadowing her small frame.

Her eyebrows formed a straight line as the confusion and mistrust coursed through her. “You said you are here to find Clarke” her hand grabbed the handle of her sword.  “Have you deceived me?” She gripped her sword ready to pull it from its sheath at a moment’s notice.

“She’s alive” he snapped de-escalating the potential attack. He stepped toward her again, “Do you even know what we had to do to save them?” he glowered. She stood unwavering. “We had to kill _everyone_ in that mountain. Men. Women. _Children_ ” the words growled out of him. The last one sent a chill down his spine as the memory of Lovejoy's child flicker in his mind.

“But you won” Her icy tone tore through his guilt stricken moment.

“Tell that to Clarke” he barked at her and then angrily plowing into the camp.

Lincoln observed the interaction from a distance and greeted Bellamy upon his approach. “Is there a problem?” Bellamy shook his head brushing him off. Suddenly he changed his mind and his head shot back to Lincoln, “Why do you think she cares if Clarkes alive?” he demanded.

Lincoln’s eyes shifted from his as he carefully thought through his words. “She _cares_ for her,” he said suggestively exaggerating the words and waited for him to comprehend. It took a moment, Bellamy’s eyes narrowed “did t-” he was interrupted by a grounder summoning, Lincoln.

*Lincoln*

“You sent for me?” Lincoln said as he entered the commander’s tent Lexa nodded to him and he moved towards her as her guards kept a watchful eye.

“What has become of Clarke?” She asked coldly.

“I do not understand” he replied confused. “War changes people. What has become of her?” she demanded her resolute demeanor portraying a faulty indifference in the matter. Lincoln knew then what she was asking, he assumed it was prompted by the conversation he saw occur between her and Bellamy earlier.

“She is haunted by her actions” He knew he had to answer the commander, but he didn’t feel she was deserving of an answer so this was the one he chose to provide.

“Haunted how?” She pried, her body remained stoic, but her eyes revealed the turmoil inside her. Understanding that she would not allow him to leave without a detailed answer, he replied, “She would not return to her people. She…” he hesitated, his throat closing on the words, “She was tortured by the survivor for weeks. She was at death's door when we found her. Her ghosts are in her eyes, without them she is hollow.”

Lexa’s breath changed subtly, too subtle for anyone, but herself to notice. Her heart race ever so slightly as she digested his words. “There were survivors” Her voice struggled to maintain apathy.

“One”

“And he still lives?” She asked with an arched brow. “He wasn’t there when we found her.”

Her eyes finally found his, “They did not hunt him?” it wasn’t a question, but an accusation. He shook his head. “They allow the one who tortured their leader to live?” she paused “He goes unpunished?”

Lincoln nodded.

“They are weaker than I thought.”


	24. Old Friends & Old Foes

*At the Summit*

Lincoln was told to wait outside the tent and Bellamy eagerly followed Lexa into the inside. His eyes were immediately drawn to the Ice Nation’s King the moment he entered the decadent room. Bellamy stepped towards him impulsively, ready for a fight, but Lexa’s arm swung out and she glared at him. He paused; he knew he had to stop. He would get them _all_ killed if he attacked the King.

He stepped back, begrudgingly allowing Lexa to take the lead.

“I hear you wanted to see me” the King spoke smugly to Lexa. The King appeared to be immune to her formidable demeanor.

“You have a prisoner, Clarke of the sky people,” She said slowly, striving to maintain her level of authority. Her tall and stoic disposition matched the cold tone of her voice and her emotionless charcoal covered eyes.

The King laughed, “She is no prisoner.”

Lexa’s eyes met the Kings, “I wish to see her”. Under any other circumstances, the King could easily dismiss the request if he so desired. However, the summit was a place of peace, and each clan resolved to treat the others as honored guests. Refusing the request would be disrespectful but this was no matter to the King. He had no desire of hiding Clarke from the small leader he loathed. The King’s laughter slowed to a stop and he leaned on his elbow, “bring Clarke to me” He ordered to his guard who then left the tent.

Clarke appeared in the tents entry way soon after, her eyes locked with Bellamy's instantly. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You’re okay” he breathed into her hair as he held her tight. Keeping his eyes up and alert in the room behind her throughout their reunion.  
Lexa watched the two curiously. Her face of stone wavering into unknown territory.

After a moment, Clarke pulled back smiling at Bellamy. “How did you-” she was interrupted by an unwelcome voice.

“Hello Clarke” Lexa spoke in her icy tone, but her voice unconsciously wavered when Clarkes name rolled off her tongue.

Clarkes eyes shot to her and narrowed, “What are _you_ doing here?” her voice low and accusatory.

Lexa swallowed. “Your people-” she began, but Clarke wouldn’t allow her to finish.

Clarke caught her off and stalked towards her with each of her words, “ _My_ people? _My_ people? You _left_ my _people_ for dead” she stopped her approach just inches from Lexa. Lexa’s apathetic disposition faltered, the evidence of how deep Clarke’s words cut into her was there for all to see. She swallowed hard raising her chin attempting to regain her composure, her indifference.  Before she could reply, Bellamy interjected “we needed her help too-” Clarke didn’t turn to look at him. Instead her eyes continued to bore into Lexa’s.

“She doesn’t _help_ anyone” with that Clarke stepped away from Lexa.

The King looked on, clearly entertained by the confrontation he was watching. He slowly rose to his feet placing a hand on Clarkes shoulder. Lexa’s eyes noticed the gesture and filled with disdain. Bellamy too noticed the abhorrent touch, his body tightened.  Lexa met the Kings amused eyes, “As you can see, she is not a prisoner. She _wants_ to be here” the King said condescendingly mocking her.

Bellamy came behind Clarke, placing himself between her and the King. The King’s amusement turned to him now. “I have not hurt her” he stated.

“The scars on her body were not at _my_ hands,” he said then leaned over to Bellamy, “But _you_ already knew that” he continued with a low tone with a wicked smile. The innuendo that lay under the words tore into Bellamy. Anger getting the best of him, Bellamy shoved the King, but before he could land a punch, his arms were captured by two massive grounders.

“Stop!” Clarke demanded and stood before him. “Bellamy, you don’t need to fight him,” she said calmly as Bellamy struggled against the guards.

“Let him go,” the King said dismissing the guards and returning to his thrown. Bellamy struggled to restrain himself, standing behind Clarke when she turned to face the King again.

“There is a truce between our people for now, you have no reason to fight me” the King smirked. His pleasure and amusement were chipping away at Bellamy’s anger.

“Where was your truce when I was drugged and tied to a tree?” Bellamy snapped, stepping towards the King, but Clarke moved and stood with her back against him. Her hand reached behind and rest on his side to keep him in place.

“You told me you gave him a horse” she shot to the King.

The Kings head bounced from side to side with his words, “horse…tree…the wine was heavy that night” his wicked grin growing wider. Clarke gave him a disapproving look. “I am sorry dear Clarke, this time I will _ensure_ he gets a horse” He smoldered

“ _This time_ she leaves _with_ me” Bellamy stated in a throaty voice.

“ _That_ boy is up to her” the King angrily replied slamming his hands onto the armrests of his throne.

Bellamy grabbed Clarkes forearm from behind her, making a move to push her protectively behind him. She turned to face him before he could finish. “Bellamy” she sighed   
I can’t leave with you”. Bellamy’s jaw clenched as he glared up at the smug King.  “No” she insisted placing a hand on his face and guiding his eyes back to hers. “I _am_ a guest, but I need to finish what I started.” Bellamy’s hard eyes melted at the sight of hers, briefly….very briefly. The moment her words processed through his ears her effect was gone and he shot another look at the King.

“I will come back” she assured him, her eyes catching his again “just not yet” she added. His face instantly hardened, his muscular jaw clenched shut.

She moved her hand to rest it on his chest, “trust me” she urged him, her eyes pleading with his. Bellamy sucked in a heavy breath and look up at the King. He had an indistinguishable look on his face, and it rubbed Bellamy the wrong way. He dropped his gaze back down to her. “I’m not leaving you,” he said through his clenched jaw. He roughly grabbed her elbow and dragged her across the room to gain privacy.

“You’re out of your damn mind if you think I’m leaving you here,” he said, his angered face mere inches from hers.

“I need you to trust me” she pleaded. Bellamy turned back to glare at the King.

She softly placed her hand back on his cheek, gently guiding his eyes back to hers. “Have I ever lied to you?” she asked with pleading eyes.

“Yes,” he replied flatly as his grip tightened more on her. The comment was obviously not aiding Clarke’s side of the argument. Clarke rolled her eyes she sighed heavily as she decisively chose her next words.

“I need to do this,” she said sternly. Bellamy’s hand raked down his face while his other hand maintained his grip on her. He was completely torn; this was not the greeting he had expected. The thrill he felt at seeing her alive had quickly been conquered with the frustration of losing her again.

He glared back at her, “then I’ll stay” he said matching the determination of her voice. Clarke’s eyes searched over his face as she shook her head. “Our people _need_ you.”

“He tied me to a tree Clarke, I’m not leaving you with him” He growled, frustrated by the conversation.

“I’ll be okay,” she said finding his eyes again. “Just a little longer. He wants to show me the land in his nation.”

Bellamy shook his head in disbelief. Then a dawning of realization washed over him and he leaned all the way into her. “You _knew_ he left me behind” he spoke through his clenched jaw, his teeth grinding over the words chewing on the indignation that filled them. Clarke to a sharp breath, “I knew you wouldn’t let me go”.

Bellamy’s brows drew together as his eyes narrowed, “So you had him drug me and tie me to a tree” his low growl reverberated through her. She swallowed hard, pausing before she answered, “He said he gave you a horse” she explained. 

Bellamy pulled his head back from hers, his eyes still glaring into her. His mind was at war with the multitude of emotions swarming through it.

“Clarke” Lexa approached them.  Clarke’s eyes held Bellamy’s for a moment longer before slowly drifting to Lexa.  Her eyes narrowed as she glared at her.

“Leave now, with us” Lexa ordered her stance tall and proud. She had managed to regain her imperial demeanor. Clarke’s eyes shot back to Bellamy’s, “You _can’t_ trust her” she cautioned.

“I don’t” he replied annoyed at the comment. Clarke nodded. “I can’t trust you either. Can I?” he glowered at her. Her eyes fell to the floor pausing there when they returned to his they were glassed over. “You know you can” she begged.  Bellamy tore his eyes from hers, unable to determine the accuracy of her statement.

“I _will_ come back, this isn’t what you think” She insisted, reassuringly placing a hand on his arm and gently caressing it. “I promise-trust me,” she said when she caught his eyes again. Bellamy got lost in her. The tortured girl was gone and the old determined Clarke seemed to be back to stay. His eyes searched her face, absorbing the glory of seeing her like this. The moment dissolved fast when he remembered their conversation.  If the old Clarke was back….. _she’s doing something that could get her killed_ was his immediate thought.

However, he would have trusted her before Emerson….perhaps he should trust her now. The decision was tearing him in two; both sides were equal in merit and devastation. He could trust her and walk away…but how could he walk away from her? Looking at her, really seeing her made him want to trust her and pulled her into his arms all at the same time. All his thoughts were pounding into his head, the frustration from which was leaving him unhinged.

 _She left you_ his anger bellowed within him.

 _She thought she deserved to be beaten for weeks_ sympathy rang through him

 _She’ll do it again_ his pessimism warned

 _But she’s Clarke_ the hopeful side added

He grabbed his head in frustration, the situation and speculation had left him with one choice.

“One week,” he said as he glared into her, “ _One week_ and I swear I will send the whole damn guard after you” he ordered. Clarke’s eyes dropped to the ground, something stirring beneath them. She looked back at him and nodded.  His hand snaked around the back of her neck grabbing her then drawing her into him. “You better not be doing something stupid” he threatened, their eyes locked. Clarke looked into his chocolate eyes that had become her home. There was so much weight in those eyes, and she hated knowing she put it there. Clarke brought her lips to his cheek leaving a gentle kiss “be safe” she whispered in his ear. She stepped back from him, dragging her eyes over his body as she did.

 _May we meet again_ she thought


	25. Misperceptions & Deceptions

*Clarke*

Her body slammed into the large tree behind her, forcing the air from her lungs. The Ice Nations King towered over her with his hand clasped her throat. “Whispering in corners was _not_ part of our agreement” he snarled, slowly clenching his hand over her throat squeezing her airway. Clarke’s hands pulled and clawed at his hand, trying desperately to free her from his deadly grasp. The pressure on her throat forced panic into her and fear coursed through her veins as she fought to breathe. The King held her a moment longer then released her. She collapsed to the ground, gasping for air to fill her neglected lungs. “ _What_ did you say?” he growled at her yanking her back to her feet by her arm. “I told him what he needed to hear,” she said through ragged breaths. “He left” she panted “He won’t be back.” She used her remaining energy to force herself to straighten out and stand up tall.  She wasn’t going to let him view her as weak.

“If you’re lying little girl” he threatened grabbing onto her upper arm forcefully.

“He’s gone, leave him alone,” she said, her voice faltering in fear of what may happen if hadn’t left as she told him to.

 “I should send riders to kill him still” he leaned into her, his fingers digging deep into her arm. Clarkes face hardened her features taut and her eyes hollowed.

“I _told_ you. If you _hurt_ him, I will tell you nothing” her voice filled with anger.

The King slammed her against the rock wall one more time before leaving. Two grounders came to her dragging her back to her feet. One went behind her, binding her wrists with rope. They shoved her forward, following the King’s path back to the tent she had been held in earlier.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy stormed away from the summit, Lincoln matching his pace and patiently waiting for an explanation.  They hiked for hours before he finally spoke.

“What happened back there?”

Bellamy shook his head and his eyes rolled, “She wanted to stay” he reported in a throaty voice that reflected his irritation. He hated that he had left her. He hated that she had asked him to.

 _Those damn eyes_ he cursed inwardly knowing he couldn't refuse those familiar eyes that always managed to convince him to see things her way. For the best or the worst, those eyes always forced him to give in. He couldn’t resist it, no matter how hard he tried. It was completely Ludacris that he had missed that look in her eyes for so long only to have it be used against him the moment it returned.

“Do you trust the King with her?” Lincoln inquired with skepticism.

“No” he answered flatly.

“We should go back. Follow them” Lincoln stated slowing his gate so they could do just that

“No” Bellamy ordered, “We need to get back to camp. The chancellor and Kane need to know our alliance with Lexa is dead. We can’t risk anyone wondering too far from camp and being killed”. Bellamy continued hiking while Lincoln eyed him.

“What about Clarke?” he asked unsure if he was willing to leave her behind.

Bellamy took in a heavy breath trying to conceal his emotions, “Clarke’s trying to make another alliance with the Ice Nation. I gave her a week.”

Lincoln’s arm swung out stopping Bellamy from walking, Bellamy looked over at him questioning the gesture. Lincoln’s eyes narrowed, “It’s a week’s journey to the Ice Nation.”

Bellamy’s eyes shifted as he processed the information. _She knew she wouldn’t be back in a week_ he thought. He forcefully shook the thought out of his head, “she couldn’t have known that”

“I saw the grounders bring her to the tent” Lincoln cautioned “they were guards.” Bellamy thought for a minute, he had glanced over her while she had been telling him to leave. He couldn’t see any visible wounds. Granted with a jacket and pants on it didn’t leave much skin revealed.

“Wouldn’t they give her guards” he questioned, “she is a leader.”

Lincoln had paused before he answered, “Yes” he nodded, “She has killed many and is feared by many. The King would provide her guards to prevent a war if she were killed.”

Convincing themselves of her safety they carried on with their long walk back to Camp Jaha.

*Clarke*

The muscles in her legs ached from the hours of hiking. Her hands were bound by a rope that left her leashed to a massive grounder a few paces ahead of her. She tried to take in the terrain around her, tried to demise which way they were headed. Nothing looked familiar. The air around her smelled different and the trees came in unfamiliar shapes. These trees were thin with small branches, not like the large ones she had become accustomed to. Her eyes constantly scanned their path for markers of any kind. She knew she would need to have something she could memorize so she would be able to find her way back. Unfortunately, the scenery was monotonous, tall skinny trees and a few indistinguishable rocks. Nothing outstanding, nothing identifiable.

*Bellamy*

Abby rushed to the gate when the guards alerted her of spotting someone in the woods. Bellamy and Lincoln entered solemnly.  Her eyes frantically searched behind them for her daughter.

Bellamy reluctantly approached her while Lincoln went to find Octavia. He sucked in a heavy breath, knowing this conversation wouldn’t go well.

“Where’s Clarke?” She asked, her eyes begging him not to tell her what she already knew.

He looked away from her, resting his hands on his hips. “Being an idiot” he muttered before he could stop himself. He sighed, “She’s still negotiating with the Ice Nation” his eyes involuntarily rolled as the words passed his lips.

Abby’s fear and panic faded and was replaced by contempt and anger. “And you left her?” she accused.

“I gave her a week” he dismissed, even though he knew her reaction was valid.

“She could be dead in a week” she sneered her rage slowly unfolding.

Bellamy took another heavy breath, attempting to refrain from reacting. He honestly had no defense for his actions. He agreed with Abby wholeheartedly, but there was no way he could let her know that.

“She said it was something she needed to do” he shrugged. Abby slapped him across the face, “Last time you let my daughter do what she needed she was nearly beaten to death.”

The words cut through Bellamy like nothing he could have imagined. A spiral of images reminding him of when he found Clarke in Mount Weather swirled through his head and shattered in his heart. She didn’t need to slap him, her words were caused more pain then any hand ever could. He swallowed hard, trying to force the memories out of him.

“You can’t keep her in a bubble Abby” Kane said gently as he came beside her. Abby’s eyes remain on Bellamy, shooting daggers at him. Daggers loaded with memories of every time Clarke had _needed_ to do something, and the disastrous outcome each time had had on her.

“It’s not up to _me_ to control _your_ daughter” Bellamy snapped at her, the images in his head slaughtered his self-control. His pride was taking control of his words now. Kane eyed the two carefully, sensing the rapidly ascending tension.

“You let her leave here. She was safe here” She snarled.

“Let her?!” Bellamy’s eyes widened as “Your daughter doesn’t _let_ anyone tell her what to do” he scoffed.

“You could have stopped her. We could have found another way” Abby insisted maintaining her glare.

“It’s Clarke. I’m sure she knows what she’s doing” Kane interjected trying to ease the tension.

“She’s a child” Abby snapped at him. “She’s a leader” Kane replied gently.

Abby shook her head, “You” she growled at Bellamy, “I thought you cared for her. I thought you would protect her” she accused.

“It’s not _my_ responsibility to protect her” he shot back at her. “ _Your_ daughter. _Your_ responsibility”. Regret filled him before the words left his mouth, but the argument was rubbing him raw. His words were possessed by his pride and frustration instead of his head.

“Then _you_ shouldn’t have taken it upon yourself to go after her” Abby’s voice was low and reflected her hatred of him at the moment.

“Your daughter” He pointed at her, “told me to leave” He exclaimed.

“You’re supposed to look out for her you were _supposed_ to keep her safe” she accused with glassy eyes

Bellamy looked away from her “I tried.”

“You _tried_ ” she said stepping up to him “You _tried_ ” her rage boiling in hers “You _left_ her there” she snarled

“I did what _she_ asked me to” he glared back at her.

“You should have talked her out of it. You sh-”

Bellamy cut her off, “I think we both know that once Clarke sets her mind to something-nobody can stop her”. The conversation was overwhelming to him, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

“Then you should have dragged her back here” Abby’s voice cracked, her rage was subsiding and fear for her daughter was taking its place. “You went there to keep her safe.”

Bellamy sighed, “I _went there_ because I couldn’t talk her out of it” he took another authoritative step towards her “I _left her there_ because I couldn’t talk her out of it”. His arms unfolded and he leaned into her, “Maybe you should work on finding someone your daughter will actually listen to” he said in a throaty voice then walked away.

*Clarke*

The day was ending; she had only managed to find a large rock as a landmark. She could never quite see the sun enough through the thick blanket of branches and leaves to figure out what direction they were headed in.

 _One damn rock_ she silently cursed

*Bellamy*

Bellamy sat at a table outside the ark, tightly grasping his cup of moonshine. Kane took the seat across from him. Bellamy had avoided every one after his confrontation with Abby. His thoughts were daunting so he chose to drown them with alcohol.

Kane studied him before speaking, “Sometimes the _right_ choices are the _hard_ choices.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes at the comment. Kane continued, “We are not used to strong women” he smiled. “We are used to women being wives and mothers. Not leaders of men” he reflected. Bellamy’s eyes shifted up to his, his curiosity piqued. “That is why it is hard for us to step back and allow them to make decisions and navigate negotiations with other leaders.”

Bellamy’s eyes rolled again then locked with Kane’s as he leaned his elbows onto the table. “Clarke’s negotiation tactics haven’t exactly worked in the past” he scoffed.

Kane opened his mouth, but Bellamy raised his hand to stop him. “ _First_ time she negotiated with the grounders on the bridge they nearly killed her. _The second_ time she ended up killing Finn.” Bellamy leaned closer to him, “Forgive me if I don’t believe the third time will be the charm” his voice overcome by sarcasm.

“Then why _did_ you leave her there” Kane inquired.

Bellamy laughed, “Because that’s Clarke” he leaned back in his chair “she’s the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met” he took a long gulp of his moonshine. “She acts impulsively and stubbornly” He gleamed. “But she also never lies to me” he looked down at his cup _except for the one time_ he thought to himself then threw the rest of the moonshine down his throat. Savoring the burning trail it left to his stomach.

“She told me to trust her” He locked eyes with Kane, “I always have.”


	26. Dethroning a King

*Clarke*

She was brought into the Kings tent once the grounders made camp for the night.  Two grounders stood behind her as she stood before the King.

“I left scouts behind to watch our path for followers” He informed with a menacing look. Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat _Bellamy_ she worried. She tried to hide her fear; she couldn’t trust this man with it.

“I told them to kill anyone on sight” he added. The words flew through her ears and into her heart. Her heart raced and pounded out of her chest, dreading any more words from him. The air around her became so thin it was impossible to get any into her lungs.

 _He didn’t follow_ she tried to convince herself.

The King waited tortuous minutes, allowing her fear to completely consume her. He delighted in the tears that welled in her eyes as she tried to hide so hard to be indomitable.

“Good thing for you that you didn’t lie to me” he finally added. Clarke released a hard breath, one she hadn’t realized that she was holding until now. Relief flushed through her body, an involuntary smile formed on her face.

“I told you he left” She informed as she struggled to erase the evidence of her relief off her face.

The king nodded and pressed his hands together while his elbows rest on the opulent arms of his thrown. “That you did.”His eyes travel up and down her body as if she had a plan there that he could read.  He studied her carefully, untrustingly.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy took his usual seat across from Abby, her eyes had shot into him from the moment he entered the room.

“Did you ascertain any information about the alliance?” Kane asked, attempting to deny the obvious tension in the room.

Bellamy shook his head, “only what I’ve said all along, there is no alliance” He leaned over the table resting an arm on it. “We need to send guards on all the hunts, and no one should leave the camp.”

Kane nodded and glanced at Abby, who still held her glare on Bellamy and hadn’t said a word. “Was Lexa interested in negotiating a new alliance?” he asked hopefully.

“Even if she was” his arm dropped from the table “I wouldn’t trust it” he leaned back in his chair.

“Did she offer anything?” Kane prodded.

“Only that she didn’t want a war. If we stay away from her people, she _claims_ they won’t attack.”

“But you don’t believe her?”

“Do you?” Bellamy snapped back his face reflecting the ridiculousness of the notion.

“We ha-” Kane started, but Abby interrupted him.

“Get out” she growled at Bellamy as she rose to her feet and leaned her hands on the table.

Bellamy gave her a questioning look, and then glanced back at Kane. “I’m a member of the council” he look back at her, “I’m not leaving” he stated firmly but calmly.

“No member of the council would have left one of our people out there-get out” she demanded again.

Bellamy crossed his arms over his broad chest, “The members of the _Council_ elected to send one hundred kids down here to die. _You¸_ left Finn and Murphy out there” he challenged.

Abby’s hard face remained unmoved by his words.

“Abby” Kane started “Bellamy has a right to be here.”

Abby’s eyes darted to his, “I’m the Chancellor” she snapped.

Bellamy watched the two, his eyes carefully assessing both of them. “Whatever you feel I have done is irrelevant. We _need_ to be united now, the grounders could attack” he said with the conviction of his authority.

“Irrelevant? My daughter is irrelevant to you?” she gasped

“I’m _done_ talking about your daughter,” he said firmly. “That’s not what these meetings are for.”

“Abby, we need to focus our attention on the security of the camp. I know you’re upset right now, but our duty is to our people” Kane explained. Abby eyes’ darted between both of them, and then she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.

*Clarke*

The grounder that had guarded her all day shoved her forcefully out of the tent. She had barely caught her footing when a painful blow to her head knocked her down. Her hand instinctively grabbed the source of the new pain. Her vision blurred as the pain shot through her head. Suddenly her hand was yanked from her head and she was being forced back by her hair. Another hand grabbed her mouth. She screamed, but it was choked out by the liquid being poured into her throat. A black curtain slowly descended over everything, as she lost consciousness.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy felt Monty’s eyes on him. He had successfully ignored him for fifteen minutes, but his patience was grown thin. “You got something to say?” he asked, turning in his chair to face him.

“ _Where_ is Clarke?”  He asked. Bellamy’s head dropped back for a moment then righted itself.

“She’s off being Clarke” he replied.

Monty took the seat across from him, “Why did you come back without her?”

“She told me to.”

“Why would she do that?” Monty asked with furrowed brows.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “She’s Clarke” notably aggravated by the conversation.

“That’s not a reason” Monty replied quickly.

Bellamy sighed; he was tired of having this conversation with every person he had seen throughout the day. He wasn’t one to explain his actions, and now he was doing it on a bi-hourly basis.

“It’s the one you’re getting,” he said while he rose to his feet. He headed for his tent. He was ready for this day to end.  The incessant berating of questions coupled with Abby’s reaction at the meeting was too overwhelming.

*Clarke*

Her eyes slowly opened only to be greeted by darkness. She blinked, trying to figure out if she had gone blind. She tugged at her hands, discovering quickly that they were constrained above her.

 _Damn_ it she cursed as she struggled against the bindings. She stopped when she heard distant footsteps and voices then suddenly light entered her vision.

 _At least I’m not blind_ she mused to herself.

She took in the sight of the grounder before her; he was mounting the torch he carried into the room onto the wall across from her. She watched the massive man of steel walk to her. Her hard eyes falsely portrayed a lack of fear of the intimidating man. He grabbed her jaw, shaking her head until she opened her mouth to scream.  He poured water from a canteen quickly into her mouth causing her to choke on it. Hardly any of the water made it down her throat; she coughed or spit the rest out. She knew they must have drugged her like they had Bellamy to get her in here. She refused to let them do it again.

*Bellamy*

“I didn’t realize that my position on the council was contingent on me being Abby’s lapdog” Bellamy snapped at Kane.

Kane shot him a look, “It’s not” he sighed, “But she is adamant that she will not work with you.”

“I’m not giving up my position. Those kids need a voice in those meeting” Bellamy’s unwavering taut voice conveyed his conviction.

“No one is asking you to” Kane explained, “She will come around, she just-”

“I swear if you tell me that she needs time….” Bellamy warned but didn’t finish his threat. He turned toward the medical bay and walked away from Kane.

“She’s upset about her daughter-” Bellamy cut him off his voice breaking “So am I.”

The desperation in his eyes was visible and the fear in his voice shook through Kane. Bellamy closed his eyes and took a long breath in then ascended down the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Kane questioned grabbing his arm.

“She may be chancellor, but this is bullshit. Our people are depending on us to protect them. We can’t do that if she’s acting like an overprotective mother.” With that, Bellamy stalked off to confront Abby and end this battle.

*Clarke*

The grounder had left her taking his torch, and the light it provided with him. She had been left in the dark for what felt like hours. Time was incomprehensible at this point.

She was only left with her thoughts and ghosts.

Her mind wandered to Bellamy. What he would do when she didn’t return in a week. Where he would look for her? Would he think she was letting herself be tortured again?

 _Would he go to Mount Weather_? The thought sent an icy chill down her spine. He had warned her that he would if she ever left to find her misguided external redemption again. _Was it an empty threat?_ She pondered. Refusing to believe Bellamy would actually go through with it her thoughts turned to his reaction when he found her.

He had given her everything she needed to resurrect herself from her internal war. The time to sort through it, the words to force her to confront it, the patience of a friend, and the comfort of a lover. Lover…her mind lingered over the word as her memories drifted to their last night together.  Somewhere buried deep within her she knew the feelings she had for Bellamy, but at a conscious level she refused to acknowledge it.

She smiled as she remembered his “whatever the hell we want” phase, the way he looked at her when he thought she didn’t know. She could never forget the look in his eyes as he held her life in his hand. The trust she had in him was born at that moment, she knew he would never hurt her. He may not have known it, but she did.  She had always seen the potential for a great leader in him, and he had become so much more than that. 

Her mind drifted over to those first few days. Finn. She _had_ loved him, it may have been a love driven by incredible circumstance and raging emotions, or it may have been pure. Even after Raven….she had loved him, but her view of him had changed. He was no longer the boy that validated her strategies or defended and protected her…Bellamy somehow slowly took that position. But she could never deny that she had fallen in love with him in the beginning. He stood by her side when most everyone stood against her. He had given her the chance to make peace with Wells before he was killed.

Wells….her best friend. She had turned on him without giving it a second thought. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Her father…

Every man she had ever loved had been killed.

 But not Bellamy… _Not Bellamy_ the thought solidified in her.


	27. The King's Trust

*Clarke*

The pain seared through her abdomen as the grounder took his final blow. Her body hung limply from the rope that bound her wrists above her head. The King had ordered the grounders to leave her here until he returned. The grounders took a great deal of pleasure in providing her regular punches. The King’s philosophy was that he was ensuring her compliance to give him the information on Lexa he wanted when he returned.

Her body was weak, but her mind was fiercely determined and constantly scheming to find a way to escape. The room was a black pit of darkness unless they were in it with her. Their torches lit the room and she snuck glances around it searching for anything noteworthy.

She memorized the guard’s patterns; they came at regular intervals to provide her water or beatings. She guessed that she had been there three days, judging by the shifts with the men. They rotated between two guards for several (what felt like) hours, then another pair switched.

*Bellamy*

Abby had begun to act civilly towards him, somewhat. His previous attempt at a confrontation three days ago had been blocked by Kane….and the threat of a lashing if he had “verbally assaulted the chancellor”.

Bellamy rolled his eyes at her latest comment in their meeting, “Jaha left us and took valuable people with him when he did” he replied.

“He’s been gone two months, we need to send a team after him” Kane insisted.

“He’s probably dead” Bellamy shrugged. Kane shot him a look of disapproval at his nonchalant regard for the former chancellor’s life.

“Your attempt on his life eliminates the weight of your vote on the matter” Abby snapped back at him. Bellamy took an exaggerated breath before replying. “We don’t even know which way he went” he replied dismissing her comment.

“He talked about a city of light, Lincoln knows the way” Kane informed attempting to diffuse the potential argument.

“It’s decided, we’ll send a search team tomorrow,” Abby said. Bellamy took another long breath, trying to keep calm. “At least wait a few days, we can gather the supplies and the people.”

“They could be injured, we need to move out as soon as possible” Kane informed him.

Bellamy’s hand raked through his untamed locks. He searched for a reason without having to reveal the real reason for the delay.

“That large of a team will leave us vulnerable to the grounders. We should take a few days to send extra hunting teams, gather more water and herbs to stock up. That way we won’t feel the strain of the limited guards.”

Kane nodded, “I hadn’t considered that” he looked to Abby for confirmation. He found it in her eyes then continued, “Once we have sufficient stock in supplies then we’ll send a team.”

*Clarke*

She choked on the water as it was forcefully poured into her mouth. She had deduced it wasn’t drugged when she hadn’t blacked out again so she tried to drink when they brought it. Her throat was scratchy and her mouth was dry. Even through the inadvertent gagging the water felt good inside her, slowly soothing her discomfort.

The grounder said something to her, but she didn’t understand. She had given up trying. Periodically they would talk to her, in the beginning she tried to explain the language barrier but now she deemed it pointless.

The grounder grabbed his torch and left the room, once again letting the blackness swallow her. She stretched her fingers reaching for the ropes that held her wrists, straining.

 _No use_.

*Bellamy*

He watched the hunting team as they filed back into the camp. He had opted to stay behind. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but he was anxious about Clarkes return. He had buried himself in menial tasks around the camp. All of which he could have left in an instant had she returned…but she hadn’t. _Four days_ he thought. He gave her a week…that was four more days. Four more days of Abby’s looks, and four more days of anxiously watching the gate.

*Clarke*

The door opened, and light flooded the room. Her eyes instantly began their never ending search, _there has to be_ something. The grounder spoke to her. 

_Haven’t they figured out I don’t_ understand Clarke thought irritated as she continued looking around the room. She refused to give up hope for escape. Her uncertainty that Bellamy may make good on his threat struck a primal fear into her driving her search. Her eyes finally drifted to the grounder when he stood in front of her.

 _Shit_ she thought.

This was the grounder that made her the most uneasy. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her cringe and worry about what he may be capable of.  The only benefit of _this_ grounder was that he never noticed when she took advantage of the light. The other grounders had caught on and she received an extra blow when they caught her. But this one….he was otherwise distracted.

Unfortunately, this time….he wasn’t. This time, he took his perversion to another level. He pressed himself against her, reaching around her and grabbing her ass in both of his hands. She slammed her knee into his groin. His hand instinctively flew to his groin and he hunched over. Clarke took advantage of his position. Grasping the rope above her she pulled herself up and put all her strength and kicked him with both legs together. The grounder stumbled back and barked out something in his language. It didn’t take him long to recover from the blows, his first punch tore into her ribs. The second was straight into her gut, forcefully removing the air from her lungs. The third was cut short when another grounder entered and yelled to him. The two went back and forth for a while before the original grounder left. Clarke fell into a false sense of relief.

The other grounder continued where the first had left off until she eventually passed out.

*Bellamy*

He was standing near the fire pit with a cup of moonshine in hand. He watched as the teenagers played drinking games when they thought others couldn’t see. He turned when he heard someone approaching him. To his shock, it was Abby. She stood next to him with a menacing scowl on her face.

 _Now what_ he inwardly groaned.

“Why did you want to put off the search team?” she demanded. He rolled his eyes, “I told you, we need to stock up on supplies”.

“We could do that in a day or two...you pushed to wait for more than that” she insisted.

 _Damn_ he thought knowing she was onto him.

“You knew she wasn’t coming back” she bellowed out, catching the attention of the surrounding kids. “You wanted to save the team to go after _her_ ” she shouted. “You left her out there knowing we would have saved her…and you’re waiting a WEEK.”

Bellamy eyed the numerous dozens of eyes that were now firmly planted on him. He slowly turned to Abby. “All I wanted was to delay the team _in case_ she didn’t come back” his throaty voice was taut.

“If anything happens to her, _you_ will pay for it” Abby threatened then stormed away from him.

Bellamy was left to confront the angry faces teenagers that encircled him. Each of them eyed him waiting for him to deny her accusation.

“She’ll come back,” he told them firmly.

Monty stepped towards him, “You said she was off ‘being Clarke’” he paused, “was that old Clarke or Mount Weather Clarke” he questioned, anger flickering in his eyes.

Bellamy's eyes drifted to him, “She’ll be back” he insisted with authority.

“Answer the question” Jasper pushed as he came beside Monty. Bellamy’s eyes shot to him losing their hard glare once they found him. “Jasper” he breathed. “She’ll be okay.”

Jaspers' eyes narrowed as he processed the words mauling over his response.

“We should go after her” Monty addressed the crowd. “We can leave at first light” a voice shouted.

Jaspers' eyes remained locked on Bellamy’s while the crowd began to stir. “She asked for a week,” Bellamy told him. “We’ll give her a week” he barked to the ground gaining immediate silence.

He turned to Monty; “Four days” he told him “Four days if she’s not back we will all go after her.”

“And if she’s dead by then” Jasper asked fiercely.

Bellamy’s eyes slowly shifted back to him as he contemplated the harsh outcome. He couldn’t swallow the thought; he had to believe she would return.

“Clarke has always given us her trust” he shouted to the crowd, “And you doubt her when she needs yours?”

“She hasn’t been the same since Mount Weather, she’s not strong like she used to be” Monroe inserted.

Bellamy’s clenched his jaw, “Clarke had to make hard choices” his eyes landed on Jasper “those _choices_ broke her down after the war. She is still the strong leader that you all followed. She saved _all_ of you countless times. Don’t doubt her now when she needs us most” his eyes scanned the crowd, captivating everyone of them individually.  “She asked us to trust her for one week. I think we owe her that” he paused. “This camp needs you to lead the guards on extra hunts. We need to have extra food and water when the search team leaves to find Jaha.”

“And if Clarke doesn’t come back?” Jasper prodded

Bellamy's eyes went back to him, “then we go after her.”

*Clarke*

The door creaked open slowly, the sound drawing Clarke’s attention as usual. Surprisingly, this time there was only a small amount of light that protruded through the doorway. Usually, the torches that the guard brought in would fill most of the room. This time, it only illuminated the figure in the doorway just enough to make out his familiar face.  Relief and shock swirled together creating a blanket of confusion over her face as she took in the sight of him.

“Clarke?” He called quietly to her as he looked at her in disbelief. Their eyes locked as they took in the sight of one another.  Each one of them mystified at the sight of the other. The implausible sight of him _…._ Here…..rescuing her was disorienting to her.

 _What the hell?_ She questioned to herself.


	28. Not A Likely Hero

 

 “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the _Princess_ locked in a tower…” he teased sauntering in the room.

“What?” he asked as he observed the shocked expression her face still wore. 

“Were you expecting Prince Charming?” Murphy smug smile crossed his face as he took in the sight of Clarke. She rolled her eyes, clearly unamused.

“Cut me down Murphy” she demanded.

He pulled a knife from his pocket and sauntered over to her. “Only if you ask nicely” he teased dangling the knife in her face. Her face hardened and her head dropped to the side as her eyes narrowed.

His crooked smirk grew, and he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“Please,” she sneered through gritted teeth, her face full of irritation.

He smiled and unnecessarily pressed himself against her as he reached above her to cut her hands free.

“So where’s your regular hero?” he asked as her hands dropped. He continued to unwind the rope from them. Clarke ignored his question.

“What’s spacewalker gonna say when he finds out he was late to the game….again?” he continued as he pulled the last of the rope from her wrists. “You think he’ll go Rambo in another village?” He laughed Clarke glared up at him.  

“He’s dead,” she said coldly, rubbing her freed wrists and walking to the door. “Oh right, the grounders” he remembered.

“No,” she said quietly

Murphy’s head tilted as his chin sucked in, “Bellamy finally kill him?” he snickered.

“No,” she said peeking her head out of the door, “I did.”  Clarke continued inspected the dimly lit hallways as her icy words resonated on the stunned Murphy in the room behind her.

Murphy froze as he processed her words, “didn’t see that coming” he smirked again slightly shaking his head.

“How did you get in here? Can we get out?” she asked closing the door and coming to him.

“What’s the matter Princess, you don’t want to be tied up with me?” He teased as he stood over her.

“I’m serious Murphy. We need to get out before the guard comes back” she said.

Murphy shrugged, “I was caught yesterday, they put me in a room near here. I was just trying to find my way out.”

 _Damn it_ she thought as she reproached the door.

She peered her head cautiously back into the hallway; she heard nothing in the long dark corridor.

“Come on,” she said walking carefully into the hall. She crept along the wall, Murphy following her movements.  They crept along until they hit another hall; she looked back at Murphy hoping he’d have an idea which way to go. He shrugged and she sighed, looking back at the three options before her. She opted for turning left.  They hugged the wall with their backs for another hundred feet or so before a grounder came around the corner a little ways in front of them. Murphy rushed the man without hesitation, plunging his knife deep into the man’s throat. The grounder fell to his knees and then dropped to the floor. Clarke and Murphy’s eyes locked and she sent him a silent “Thank you” with them.  He gave her a half smile then took the lead from her.  He turned down the hall that the grounder came from. After thirty feet, he could see sunshine pooling onto the wall across from another intersection.

He held a hand back to Clarke letting her know to wait as he peered around the corner.

He motioned for her to come, and they both turned the corner. Murphy saw the doorway that revealed the outside first. He looked back at Clarke with raised brow then carried on. Before he exited the doorway another grounder tackled him to the ground knocking his knife from his hand. Clarke jumped on the grounders back, clawing at his throat. The grounder flew his weight back slamming Clarke into the wall behind them. The struggle deterred the grounder just enough to distract him as Murphy grabbed his knife then slashed it into his stomach. The grounder collapsed to the side of him, Clarke tumbling off of him struggling to catch her breath from the blow. She looked to Murphy; both of them were shaken from the close call.

Clarke went back to the doorway, slowly sticking her head out to look along the wall. She looked back at Murphy and shook her head. He stepped beside her and looked right and then left, taking in their surroundings. There was a lush tree line about fifty feet from them if they ran fast enough he was sure they could make it. But before he could plan anything, Clarke had left the doorway and slunk along the wall towards a bin. Murphy rolled his eyes and inwardly cursed her, but followed her. She reached into the bin and retrieved a small gun and a knife. Surely someone from their camp had been there, or a mountain man. The grounders never touched guns, they both knew that.

Murphy caught Clarke’s eyes then nodded his head toward the tree line, she nodded back at him. He counted to three with his fingers then they both raced full speed across the open pasture. Their hearts pounded in their chests, running harder then they ever had before. Both waiting for the moment a spear or blade would pierce through them. They ran until they were well into the trees and their adrenaline was depleting, leaving them with little energy to carry on. They both collapsed with their hands on their knees, hunched over and heaving to catch their breath.

Clarke looked at Murphy, her breath still ragged “Do you think anyone followed us?” she panted.

He shook his head still gasping for breath. He looked back the way they came, then to Clarke.

“Now what?” he panted. Clarke’s eyes rolled as she gathered her breath and stood up straight.

“We need to get back to camp,” she said looking around for any sign of which direction to head. Murphy’s eyes followed, then locked on her “Any idea which way that would be?” he quipped, his breath slowly evening.  Clarke looked back at him, her hand on her head as she shook her head no. Murphy rolled his eyes, “great” he said sarcastically.

*Bellamy*

He watched as the last of the remaining one hundred filed into the newly constructed tent. They had finally built the last tent, and now _everyone_ had shelter. Bellamy smiled, knowing they were all safe from the elements. He caught himself wishing Clarke could share the moment with him but quickly scolded himself and cursed the thought. He couldn’t think about her, she still had three days to return.

Raven jogged over to him, “We’ve something on the radio” she reported. Bellamy turned to her then followed her back to the communications sections of the ark. Wick was holding the radio in his hand when they entered the room. He jutted his hand out offering the radio to Bellamy. “Another station of the ark, they survived” he happily reported and started to work on the base of the radio.

“The reception is sketchy at best, I’m trying to get a better signal” he explained. Bellamy grabbed the radio, “Camp Jaha- Can anyone hear me?” he asked into it. The only response he received was a loud crackling and white noise. “I’ll get them back” Wick reassured him continuing to fidget with the wires.

*Clarke*

They had been hiking for hours, and the sun was setting fast. “We need to gather wood for a fire we won’t make it in the dark,” she told Murphy. They hadn’t spoken since they began walking. 

Murphy glanced at her, “And I suppose _I_ should get the wood?” he voice full of sarcasm. Clarke shot him a look of disapproval.  “Fine” he groaned, stalking off into the thick bush. Clarke pushed around some of the leaves to make a spot for the fire. She pulled rocks to form a circle. Murphy came and dropped the wood into the circle. He worked to start the fire as Clarke searched their surroundings.

*Bellamy*

Crackles….. “Camp Jaha come in” a voice pleaded through the rough connection. Bellamy snatched the radio off the table, “This is Camp Jaha. What station is this? Where are you?” he asked.

Crackles

“Landed north of you,  Need help, please come fast.” The broken message came through clear enough, “get a better location” Bellamy told Raven shoving the radio at her as he left to find Abby and Kane.

*Clarke*

Clarke laid down beside the fire. Their lack of supplies meant no blankets, and the night air was frigid sending a deep chill into them. Murphy returned and plopped down across from her. “You know body heat is the best way to keep us warm,” he said with a mischievous grin.

Clarke’s face dropped, unamused and she glared at him. “I mean we are out here…alone…together….” He lingered then came behind her. His hand slowly reached out to her, “Don’t touch me Murphy” she threatened. He pulled his hand back and smiled, “okay, but your loss”. He rolled onto his back his hands folded beneath his head.  Clarke’s eyes rolled then closed, but she remained on alert for a while before exhaustion overcame her tired body.

*Bellamy*

He found Kane in the dining area, “We’ve made contact with another station” he reported.

“Where are they?” Kane asked following Bellamy to find Abby.

“North, somewhere. The connections not great, but they asked for help.”

Kane nodded, “You will lead a small group, four guards, we can’t afford to send any more until we know their location. Radio back when you find them.  I’ll prepare a larger team to follow when you do. Assemble your team, I’ll let Abby know” Kane commanded.

Bellamy nodded then searched the camp for Miller.

*Clarke*

“Another fun filled day” Murphy sarcastically quipped as he kicked out the fire.

They hiked for hours; none of the terrains looked familiar to them. They had no idea if they were even headed in the right direction. The knowledge of this filled Clarke with uneasiness and uncertainty which went mostly unnoticed by Murphy.

“You gonna tell me why you killed lover, boy?” Murphy asked bluntly as he stepped over a branch.

Clarke glared straight ahead of her, her face hardening as she tried to ignore his question.

Murphy hiked up beside her, glancing over at her “I mean I don’t blame you, the guy was a pain” he shrugged still waiting for an answer. “But he _did_ lead the search party to find yo-”

“Shut up Murphy” she snapped, not breaking her forward glare.

A cocky smile formed on Murphy’s face, “It’s not like I’m gonna _hang_ you for it Princess” he replied in a snarky tone.

Clarke rolled her eyes, trying desperately to ignore his painful remarks. Murphy closed the distance between them, their shoulders now inches apart as he leaned into her. “It was the sex…was’nt it?” he smiled withdrawing from her.

In a split second Clarke swung around and shoved Murphy into a tree, she held her blade at his throat.

“You are _done_ talking about this Murphy” She glared at him.

Murphy let out a small laugh, his crooked smile plastered on his face. “Look who’s the crazy one now” he gleamed arching a brow.

Clarke’s eyes shifted and she lowered her blade, backing away slowly. It was all the leverage he needed. He launched himself at her tackling her to the ground while snatching her blade from her hand. He pushed the blade against her neck as he sat straddled over her hips.

“Don’t threaten me, because _I_ _will_ kill you” he threatened, something primal flickering in his eyes replacing his previous carefree attitude.

Then, suddenly, his face dropped and the blade went limp on her neck as he held his hands up. He leaned back away from her face, looking down at the gun she had planted in his abdomen.

He looked back at her face, his momentary fear gone. He cocked his head to the side a sly grin forming. “Do you even know how to use that?” he asked condescendingly.

Clarkes face was as hard as a rock; she was done with his games. “Do you want to find out?” she asked flipping the safety off. Murphy caught the movement and gave her a coy smile, “Touché Princess” he said while standing up. He offered his hand to her, but she refused it and stood on her own.

They continued to hike as if they both hadn’t just threatened each other’s lives.

“You know” Murphy started, “seeing as we’re lost out here together….you could try to trust me.” It was the first thing Murphy had said that wasn’t laced with sarcasm. Clarke looked at him and nodded.

“I mean, _I did_ save your ass” he laughed.  

“Right back at you” she quipped back, giving him a smile. He smiled and nodded with a light laugh.

“So any reason backup hero isn’t here?” he questioned. She didn’t look at him, still hiking forward her eyes locked on the trail ahead of her. “Or did you kill him too?” he joked. She shot him a cold look and he raised his hands to surrender.

Her eyes fell back to the path ahead of her as she flatly answered “I told him not to come.”

Murphy stopped in his tracks, “And he listened?” he asked stunned in disbelief with a laugh. Murphy laughed and jogged to catch up with her.

“Teach me your ways wise one” He joked, bowing playful to her.

Clarke’s brow rose as her head tilted and she let herself smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it was brought to my attention after I posted this chapter that Murphy was still at camp when Finn died.....sorry I thought he was off with Jaha. So sorry!  
> Please forgive :(


	29. Bonding Time?

*Clarke*

Clarke sat facing of the fire they had made, Murphy a few feet from her. Both of them tired and sore from the day’s journey. She could see the bruises on him and knew she wasn’t the only one the guards had beaten.

She looked over at him, “Why did you leave?” she asked him. He shrugged. Her brows scrunched and she tilted her head, “Really Murphy” she pushed

“I missed Bellamy’s motivational speeches” he answered her sarcastically. Clarke rolled her eyes and continued to stare at him expectantly.

“I missed you” he added extending his arms for dramatic effect. Clarke’s disapproval and unamused face pushed him for a better answer.

“Jaha’s lost it, I wasn’t gonna hang around” he shrugged. Clarke smiled and nodded approvingly.

After a few more moments of silence, she looked back at him, studying him. He could feel her eyes on him as he played with the fire, poking it with a long stick.

“Something _else_ Princess?” he sneered with raised brows still not looking at her.

Clarke paused for a moment before answering, “Why have you stayed with me? You could have left me back there, but you didn't.”

Murphy nodded and then poked the fire again. “Remember that time I was hanging from a tree?” he reminisced with a sadistic hint of amusement. Clarke recoiled slightly, hesitant of where this may go. He pushed a branch into the fire with his stick making the fire roar upward, “you cut me down” he stated plainly.

“I was the reason they stung you up in the first place,” she said, guilt filling her.

Murphy shook his head, still prodding the flames. “No, Bellamy was.”

“No he-” Murphy cut her off. “Look, Princess, every time _he_ tried to kill me- _you_ stopped him” he shrugged and looked at her. “I can at least see you back to camp,” he said then went back to playing with the fire.  She smiled at him, and he looked at her.

“Doesn’t mean I owe you anything?” he said. She smiled and nodded.

“Just don’t let them float me” he laughed dropping his stick in the flames. She laughed lightly “deal”.

*Bellamy*

The never ending monotonous forest seemed to be mocking him as he led the group through its branch filled the floor. Raven had given him directions to the other station, and he was trying to gain as much ground as possible today. He wanted to be back before Clarke’s time was up, but he knew this mission was important. Miller and three guards were with him, and a radio Raven had given him, but the battery gave out soon after they left camp.

“We should make camp,” he told to the others as he watched the sun sinking lower in the trees. “We’ll stop at that-” he stopped his arm jutting out to halt the others. He saw smoke in the branches ahead of them, someone had a fire. He motioned to the smoke so it gained the attention of the others. He pointed at the guards, motioning to each of them in different directions so they could circle in on the camp. He took careful steps toward the blaze, catching Millers eye a few dozen feet over as he moved.

*Clarke*

“What was the City of Light like?” Clarke questioned

Murphy shrugged, “lots of alcohol…” he smiled. “Better food” he added before taking another bite of the squirrel meat they had cooked.

“So what could Jaha have done to scare _you_ off?” Clarke asked with a teasing tone.

“He didn’t _scare_ me off” Murphy snapped back finishing the meat on his stick.

“Then why did you leave?” she pressed

Murphy rolled his eyes, “Jaha’s gone bat shit crazy. I wasn’t gonna stick around and wait for him to do something that could get me killed.”

*Bellamy*

Bellamy drew his gun into his shoulder, crouching to look through the sight as he continued to walk. He saw the back of a man’s head and moved covertly toward him. He stopped a foot away from the guy when he noticed the familiar locks of blonde hair a few feet away. His foot snapping a twig beneath him caused Murphy to jump and spin around, knife in hand. Clarke leaped to her feet with the commotion. “Drop it” Bellamy ordered Murphy with his gun aimed at his chest.

“You drop it” Murphy snapped back.

“Both of you drop it” Clarke ordered, stepping around Murphy and walking to Bellamy. He immediately lowered his gun when she did. He glared past her at Murphy, brows drew up and mouth open. Clarke spun around and cocked her head to the side. Murphy rolled his eyes and put his knife back in its holster finishing with a “what” gesture.

Bellamy pulled the shoulder strap of his gun over him then closed the distance between him and Clarke. She looked back at him.

“Murphy? Really?!” He exclaimed with narrowed eyes. “ _he_ could go with you” he said, jealousy oozing in his tone.

“No, he saved me,” she said

“Princess Saver,” Murphy said obnoxiously, leaning over her shoulder proudly staring at Bellamy.

“That’s me” he added stepping back with outstretched arms pointing at himself as the other guards and Miller enclosed on him. Bellamy took a threatening step towards him, but Clarke was still between the two blocking him.

“Bellamy, you shouldn’t be here” she warned captivating his attention again. 

His eyes darted to Murphy while he raised his brows, “and _he_ should?” he questioned.

“How far are we from camp?” She asked, ignoring his comment.

He stared at her in disbelief, “were you just wondering aimlessly through the woods with him?” he asked, his throaty voice laced with anger.

“Guess we forgot to ask for a map when we were fighting our way out of grounder prison,” Murphy said with his snarky tone with a mocking face.

Clarke shot him a look then turned back to Bellamy. “We had to put distance between them and us. We didn’t recognize anything” She explained trying to de-escalate the ever rising tension.

 “Wait,” he said, tightening his jaw as his face hardened “Prison? I thought you were a guest”. Clarke’s eyes broke his gaze and darted around as she drew in a heavy breath. He could see her struggling with her response and it frustrated him.

“Clarke” he warned.

“You had to leave. I told you want you needed to hear” she snapped still not making eye contact with him

Bellamy stepped into her, captivating her gaze, towering over her as he glared down into her eyes. “So…you were a prisoner the _entire_ time,” he asked, his voice filled with gravel. His teeth grinding from the tension in his jaw, the muscles in his jaw twitching.

Clarke bit her lip and looked away from him. He took her face in his hand pulling her head up so she would look at him. “I guess we need to have that martyr conversation again” he growled then released her.

“Since we’ve established that _I_ _saved_ the Princess would you call off your dogs,” Murphy asked, eyeing the guards and Miller, who still had their guns drawn on him. Bellamy backed off Clarke slightly then nodded to Miller. The guards lowered their weapons. Bellamy took in a deep breath deciding how to deal with the tumultuous blonde.

“Wait, if you didn’t know…why are you out here?” Clarke prodded.

“It’s a good thing I am, or you would just wonder aimlessly around this planet with _Murphy_ for protection” He scoffed at her. The thought of her lost out in the woods with Murphy was fuel to his fire.

“We would have found our way eventually, we would have recognized something” she retorted.

He shook his head, “Which way were you even headed?” he demanded.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I don’t know. Okay Bellamy, I don’t know.” She let out a defeated sigh, “We were lost and just trying to get away.” Bellamy’s anger deflated as he watched her concede.  He couldn’t stay mad at her when he was just as relieved to see her.

“Raven and Wick caught a signal from another ark station. It’s another’s day walk north” he explained pointing in the direction.

Clarkes head tilted as her brows scrunched together, her head shaking “We came from there we didn’t see another station” she said confused. A moment later realization washed over her and she looked up to Bellamy. “What station was it?” She asked to confirm her thoughts. Bellamy shrugged and plopped onto the ground, his legs in front of him with bent knees.

“Bellamy,” she said touching his shoulder to get his attention. His chocolate eyes looked up at her, “that’s where we came from” she said slowly so he would catch on. But he didn’t.

“The ark didn’t call you,” she said, “the grounders did.”


	30. The Wrath of a King

“What do you mean? The grounders don’t use radios” Bellamy questioned.

“I don’t know how, but if you’re headed that way, then it’s the only thing that makes since” Clarke explained. “We may not have known where Camp Jaha was, but we did keep track of which way we came.”

Bellamy’s took in a long breath, “How would they know about the different stations?” he asked. The idea of grounders using their own radios against them was incomprehensible to him. Then an idea raked through him and his head shot over to glare at Murphy. 

“Unless someone told them,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t,” Murphy said then plopped back to his seat.

Bellamy started to stand, but Clarke put a hand on his shoulder and kneeled next to him. “We need to warn the camp,” she told him.

Bellamy’s gaze went past her as he glared again at Murphy, “What we need to do is find out how much they know”.  Clarke’s eyes followed his until they landed on Murphy.

“What?” Murphy exclaimed when he looked up to see them staring at him. “I didn’t tell them anything,” he said annoyed. Bellamy’s glare remained locked on him while Clarke’s eye moved to the fire in front of her. She had thought for a moment before she spoke, “Maybe their listening on our frequency, like we did to Mount Weather. They could have heard us calling to the other stations.”

Bellamy’s hand started balling into fists, “Or _maybe_ Murphy did what he does best and told them everything”.

“I didn’t tell them anything” Murphy repeated. Clarke gently squeezed the spot of Bellamy’s shoulder that she was still holding, trying to get him to stay calm. His eyes left Murphy and went to hers. She sat all the way down beside him, “Where would they have even found a radio?” she questioned looking ahead of her as she contemplated it.

Bellamy didn’t hesitate to shoot another glare at Murphy, “tell us, Murphy, where _did_ they get a radio?” he growled. “Maybe you should ask your sister, she’s got a thing for grounders” Murphy shot back. Bellamy’s legs quickly jerked underneath him and he shot to his feet and was pushing Murphy onto the ground before he could get to his feet.

“Bellamy Stop!” Clarke shouted as she raced up behind him. She reached to grab his arm as he sprung it back to keep her at bay, not knowing how close she was, his arm pushed into her chest. The force from his arm knocked her to the ground. Bellamy swung around, noticing his mistake and extended his hand to help her up. “I’m sorry Clarke.”

She took his hand and rose to her feet, brushing herself off. “We can’t fight each other Bellamy” she sighed staring up at him, “if the grounders are using our radios against us then we have no idea what they're capable of.”

“And how do we know that Murphy didn’t do it for them-huh?” he pushed pointing back at Murphy.   
“We get a call the same day he escapes?” He added skeptically.

Clarke sighed and thought for a minute, “When did they contact you?”

“Yesterday” he answered

Clarke stepped toward him resting her hand on his forearm, “We’ve been gone for three nights. Two days. There’s no way he could have done it”. Bellamy’s anger now turned to Clarke, “You’ve been out here with him for two days!” he shouted. Clarke dropped her hand.

“Three nights” Murphy corrected him with a sly smile. Clarke shot him a look that could kill “shut up Murphy” she snapped. She took a deep breath the looked back into Bellamy’s hard eyes. “You left yesterday, so we’re only a day away from camp, right?” Clarke asked trying to redirect the conversation.

Bellamy’s head dropped to the side, “yeah” he replied angrily.

Clarke nodded, “Okay, we’ll rest then leave in the morning” She went back and took he seat near the fire hoping the guys would follow the movement. Bellamy glared back at Murphy before returning to his seat on the other side of Clarke. Murphy settled back into his spot while the guard’s and Miller found their own places.

Bellamy sat with his legs bent before him and his elbows resting on his knees. “He was only there one day, he couldn’t-.”

“Since when do you have blind faith in Murphy?” Bellamy interrupted turning to look at her, the anger he had before muted. “I don’t,” she said reassuringly.

“That hurts Princess” Murphy joked.

“Look at him Bellamy. Does it look like he’s been tortured for information?” She asked softly. Bellamy’s eyes raked over Murphy then rolled back to the blaze as he conceded.

“Was Jaha with you?” he asked, Clarke shook her head.

“You killed him, didn’t you?” Miller asked Murphy with a snarky tone. Murphy’s head dropped to the side, “you want me to kill you?” he asked Miller.

“He’s in the City of Light” Clarke replied shooting Miller a look to silence him.

“Says Murphy” Miller shot back.

“He has no reason to lie” Clarke responded. “Unless...he...killed him” Miller shot back. Clarke’s disapproval was written all over her face so Miller addressed it. “What Clarke? Last time I saw him he had just tried to kill Bellamy and left used most of our gunpowder to blow a hole in the drop ship” he explained. Clarke put her hand up to stop him before he continued. “We’ve all made mistakes Miller.”

Bellamy’s eyes bore into the side of her head after that comment and then bounced back and forth between her and Murphy. “If Jaha made it, then why are you here?” he asked Murphy.

“Because _Jaha_ is crazier than I am” Murphy replied.

“You’re going to have to elaborate if you want me to believe you,” Bellamy said gruffly.

“Jaha and I went our separate ways when we got there. I found a bunker there; at first it was cool…alcohol...no grounders…television” Bellamy interrupted him.

“There were 30 other people that left.”

Murphy rolled his eyes, “Yea, about that” he laughed “They're all dead”. All eyes shot to him causing him to raise his hands to surrender, “I didn’t kill them” he said condescendingly.

“Some died from mines, others starved, some were being dumb…oh yea and Jaha fed one of them to sea monster” he looked at Clarke, “like I said…Jaha’s lost it”. Bellamy shook his head looking down, the others eyes soon dropped from Murphy as well.

“Is that why you left? Because Jaha killed somebody?”  Clarke inquired.

“No. That’s why we went our own ways. I left when I found a channel on the television that was hooked to a camera in some house. I saw Jaha talking to some chic; they were talking about a missile. As in the one, he rode to earth in…that was soon after we got there.”

“That makes him crazy? Talking to someone about how he got to Earth?” Miller snipped. Murphy rolled his eyes, “What makes him crazy is rebuilding it.”  
“I don’t understand, why would he want to rebuild it?” Clarke shook her head. “Jaha wouldn’t even know how to build a missile” Bellamy interjected. Murphy looked at Clarke, “No, but the chic did” he said flatly. Clarke’s brows scrunched together. “Who is she?”

“She’s built the bombs that destroyed the world” he replied.

“You expect us to believe that? She’d be over-” Miller was cut off by Murphy. “I don’t know how, but I watched them for weeks talk about it and when he actually started to work on the damn thing. I got the hell out of there.”

Clarke’s eyes found Bellamy’s “do you really think he would do it?” she asked.

“I don’t want to find out” he replied warily.

                                                                                   *The Next Morning*

 

 

 

They got an early start on their return to Camp Jaha the next morning. Clarke and Murphy both relieved to know they were headed in the right direction.

Bellamy walked up beside Clarke, his hands gripping his gun. “We need to talk,” he said heavily.

 _Here we go_ Clarke thought to herself.

“Why didn’t you tell me at the summit?” he inquired the resentment he held slipped through with his words.

“You needed to leave,” she said staring at the path ahead. He looked at her, “You told me you were okay” he growled.

“To _trust_ you” he added with raised brows. She looked over at him; the hurt he felt was evident in his eyes despite his tone.

“Wait,” Murphy said pushing between them then walking backward to face them as they hiked. “You mean to tell me _you_ walked away while _she_ was being held prisoner,” he said with a wicked smile.

Bellamy glared at him. Murphy purposefully walked with a peppy gate, ensuring Bellamy knew exactly how he felt.

“So _I_ saved the Princess while the _king_ left her to die” he quipped laughingly then spun around to walk forward and revel in the amusement. 

Bellamy lunged at him, shoving him to the ground. “Bellamy!” Clarke cried racing to them grabbing his shoulders.

The anger fuming off of him startled her, but it didn’t deter her. She pulled on his arms, preventing him from hitting Murphy. Her strength wasn’t holding him back, only the fear of hitting her on the accident was. He gave Murphy a hard shove into the ground then raised to his feet. Murphy quickly followed suit but put his arms up obviously ready to fight.  Bellamy got a step towards him when Clarke jumped between them separating them.

She faced Murphy, disapproval and irritation written all over her. Murphy sucked in his chin and gave a downward smirk then headed back down the path with the guards.  Clarke turned back to Bellamy.

“Why are you protecting him” Bellamy shouted at her as his anger took hold of him.

“He helped me,” she said taking a step to him “If he hadn’t found me in there….” he voice trailed off.

“He wouldn’t have had to help you if you told me what was going on” he barked.

Clarke walked around him following Murphy’s path.

“He’s a killer” Bellamy snarled from behind her. Clarkes stopped in her tracks and spun around to face him “so-am-I” she said coldly. With that, she turned away from him.

He rushed towards her, his fingers dug into her bicep as he stood beside her, turning her to him.

“ _You_ are not _him”_ he growled.

Clarke’s eyes remained cold, but glossed over “agree to disagree,” she said numbly.

“Don’t you fucking dare” he threatened. Clarke’s eyes narrowed matching his as he glared at her. Bellamy yanked her arm to him forcing her body close to his. 

“You don’t get to crawl back into yourself. Not this time.” His grip tightened on her arm, “Not after the shit you just pulled” with that he dropped her arm and continued down the path. He got a few steps away then paused and turned back.

“Next time you ask me to trust you-don’t expect me to” he growled then swung back around leaving Clarke behind.


	31. Back Again

“Bellamy” Clarke sighed as he walked away from her. “Bellamy!” she shouted jogging in front of him.

He moved to step around her, but she blocked him, “Move Clarke” his throaty voice matched the infuriated glare in his eyes.

“He was going to kill you” she breathed “if I….if I didn’t make you leave the summit he would have killed you” She pleaded with glassy eyes. Bellamy’s eyes soften, and then he looked away from her.

“So you sacrificed yourself to save me,” he said then leaned down to her, “why?” he glared

Clarke shook her head confused, “Why?” she repeated.

“Yeah Clarke, Why?” he took a threatening step towards her. 

“He would have killed you” she repeated still confused.

Bellamy pressed his lips in a tight line and nodded his head once, “Why Clarke?” he took another step toward her now towering over her, “why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

Clarke took a step back, “he would ha-” “NO Clarke! Why is it that you don’t tru-”

“GROUNDERS!” one of the guards yelled and began firing. Bellamy pushed Clarke behind him turning towards the attack. Clarke felt something slide on her back and jumped; Murphy pulled the gun from her waist and shot a grounder running towards them. Another grounder pummeled towards Bellamy knocking him to his knees. Bellamy grabbed his knife from his pocket and stabbed the grounder in the stomach. Another one tackled Murphy face down on the ground pinning his arms behind him. Clarke lunged at a grounder on top of Miller fighting to pry him off, but instead another grounder grabbed her. She turned her head just in time to watch Bellamy take a blow to the head knocking him to the ground. She’s screamed out for him struggling hard to free herself only to be met with blackness.

****

Clarke slowly opened her eyes only to be met by the darkness again.

 _Crap_ she thought as she realized she was back in the grounder prison. Her hands are once again tied above her head. She pulled down hard on the rope that bound her; she stretched her fingers to pull at it. She stopped her futile attempts abruptly when she heard a noise. She froze. She had been in this room for three days before; she had never heard another noise. The noise got louder, shifting and scraping on the floor, then grunts.

“Who’s there?” she called out into the dark abyss.

“Clarke?” Bellamy called back. “Bellamy?” she answered. Both found relief in the others presence, but only until they realized they had both been captured.

“Somethings holding my hands,” Bellamy told her continuing to struggle for freedom.

“Mine too, this is where I was before,” She said twisting and contorting her hands desperately trying to free herself

“How do we get out?” He asked hopefully

“Murphy found me last time and cut me down.”

“There has to be another way” Bellamy continued pulling at his restrained limbs.

Clarke shook her head, and then remembered he couldn’t see her. “I tried for three days to find one, I couldn't.”

“Are you sure you actually tried?” Bellamy muttered under his breath.

“Why would you even ask me that?”

“Emerson” his gruff voice vibrated through Clarke.   
“Bellamy” she pleaded, “I told you this was d-” Clarke stopped talking the moment light entered the room. A grounder entered the room and mounted his torch on the wall. Clarke and Bellamy locked eyes after scanning each other for injuries. They were tied on the same wall only two feet apart from each other. The grounder approached them and caught Clarkes attention.

 _Oh no,_ she thought as she instantly remembers the perverted grounder. His hungry eyes searched over her, honing in on her ample cleavage. “Hey!” Bellamy called to the man oblivious to the way he was looking at Clarke.

“Why are you keeping us here?” He demanded, “Bellamy-don’t” Clarke warned quietly. The grounder had paid no attention to Bellamy, he was locked onto Clarke. He reached out brushing his fingertips over her lips then trailing them down her neck. Bellamy’s face hardened as he watched on in horror. “Hey!” he barked pulling at his restraints. The grounders fingers traveled down over her breasts. “HEY!” Bellamy barked again, pulling and twisting to get free. Clarke’s fingers slowly gripped the rope above her, waiting for the moment she could repeat her previous attack maneuver. This time the grounder left no room between them, leaving her without the necessary leverage to pull herself up. Bellamy’s shouts and threats muted in her ears as the grounders hands became more invasive. He straddled his legs around one of hers as he reached around to grab her ass, with a smug look on his face.

Clarke took a deep breath then pulled her knee up in between his legs as hard as she could. The grounder hunched over, again and she lifted herself up kicking him with both feet. He stumbled to her right.

Right in front of Bellamy.

Bellamy kicked the grounder with every molecule of strength he had in him, sending the grounder to the floor at his feet. Bellamy kicked and kicked the man screaming obscenities as he did.

“Bellamy!” Clarke shouted as the man lay limp below him. “Bellamy!” she shouted again. Finally, he stopped kicking the grounder and looked at her. The hatred that lay in his brown eyes shook Clarke to the core.

She had never seen his eyes like this, they were so consumed with anger that it even made _her_ nervous. “Is thi….” He panted “…..did they….” He could bring himself to say the words; he didn’t want to hear them. Furthermore, he wasn’t sure he didn’t want to know the answer.

“See I-” Clarke stopped abruptly when the door pushed open holding her breath. Knowing that Bellamy may not live through the beating he would get for killing the grounder.

“Well, well, well….twice in one week” Murphy boasted triumphantly with a smile. He pushed the door shut behind him. “Murphy thank God” Clarke finally breathed.

“Cut us down” Bellamy ordered. Murphy sauntered through the room his eyes roaming over the fallen grounder then trailing up to Bellamy. “If I made the Princess say please….the King’s gonna have to say it too” his sly smile had Bellamy once again pulling furiously on the restraints. Without those restraints…Murphy would be in the same predicament as the grounder. None of it fazed Murphy, though. “Okay,” he said in a sing-song voice, with a tilt of his head then looked at Clarke.

She let out a frustrated sigh, “Come on Murphy”. He took a step closer with his smugly expectant look “please” she added with annoyance.

He reached up and freed her hands, then cut the rest of the rope when her arms dropped in front of her. She grabbed his hand with his knife; he looked at their hands then back up at her cocking his head to the side and arching his brow.

Clarke slowly pulled the knife from his hand, staring at him the entire time. To her surprise, he didn’t fight her, just watched with amusement. She walked to Bellamy and reached above his head for his hands. She couldn’t reach. She pressed herself firmly against him for balance and pushed up onto her toes….even then she could only reach his elbows. She tried for a few minutes before finally turning to Murphy.

“Please,” she repeated.

Murphy’s sly smile reappeared, “anything for you Princess”. He reclaimed the knife from her and looked at Bellamy as he stood toe to toe with him. “I hope you’re not expecting me to press on you like she did” he joked then cut the rope.

“Where’s Miller and the guards?” Bellamy’s throaty voice asked. “In the hall, looking out.”

Bellamy and Clarke nodded to each other and moved to the door. Bellamy grabbed it, slowing pulling it open. Miller’s back was to the door, he turned around with a look of relief when he saw them. Bellamy walked through the door followed by Clarke and Murphy. “Which way?” he asked in a hushed tone. Clarke moved around him to take the lead, but he pushed her back behind him and glared at Murphy.

Murphy understood and moved to the front of the group guiding them down the same path he and Clarke had taken a few days before. Bellamy stayed in the middle of the group with Clarke behind him. They easily made it to the outside without running into anyone. Murphy carefully peeked out into the daylight. He pulled his head back in and held up two fingers, pointing to the left of the door. Everyone nodded to him, and then he walked out. They waited for the grounders to notice him, then the guards and Miller leaped into action attacking the grounders.  Bellamy blocked Clarke’s path out of the door while he kept a watchful eye out.  When she moved to go around him, he grabbed her arms motioning for her to stay.

Another grounder joined the attack against the rest of the group; Bellamy waited but finally joined the fight when he realized they needed help. With Bellamy out of the way, Clarke shot back to the bin she had found the gun in before. Just as she suspected all of their weapons were in the bin. She threw all of the rifle straps over her shoulder and pushed two knives into her pockets. She shoved one of the two pistols into the back of her pants while she marched over to the fight with the other one in hand. She wasn’t there long when one grounder noticed the gun and shouted to the others. They instantly stopped fighting and dropped to their knees on the ground, confusing all of the men attacking them.   
“Interesting look Princess” Murphy teased as he eyed her carrying all the weapons.

“We need to lock them up so they can’t come after us,” Clarke told Bellamy ignoring Murphy.

“Or we could kill them” Murphy retorted holding his knife to a grounders throat.

Bellamy came to her and pulled the rifles from her shoulder, passing them to the guards and Miller.

“You three take them into the cells” Bellamy ordered at Murphy and two of the guards. “We need to find the rest of them,” he said turning to Miller. He glanced back at Clarke, “go. Wait for us in the forest.”

Murphy and the others had already returned to the corridor with the grounders.

“No” she refused.

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to her. “Go” he demanded

“We don’t have time for this,” she said pushing passed him. He swung her back around to him by her forearm and glared at her.

BANG

They both turned to watch a grounder collapse as Miller lowered his rifle. “Maybe you two can have this discussion later” he suggested as he kept a lookout. He glanced once more at Clarke then they moved back to the wall. Clarke tried to move to the front, but he pulled her back behind him again without so much as looking at her. The guard led them as they moved cautiously along the wall. They stopped once they approached an open doorway; the guard entered first, firing off eight rounds a few feet into the room.

Miller went in the room next and after a moment motioned for them. They followed him into the room carefully stepping around the handful of dead grounders. As they were making their way towards another room, the sound of gunshots outside forced them to retreat.

The guards with Murphy had already taken out four more grounders by the time they reached them. “We need to go” Clarke urged with the rising body count. Bellamy gave a nod and they ran to the woods. Once sufficiently inside Clarke motioned for them to stop. Every slowed to a halt and looked at her questioningly. “Clarke we need to get out of here” Bellamy insisted through ragged breaths. She shook her head, “Murphy and I went that way and they found us. We should go a different way” she panted.

“If we go a different way we’ll be lost…..again” Murphy jumped in.

“Better lost then dead,” Bellamy said and headed off to the right. 


	32. To Cut a Princess

“We’ve been walking for hours can we please take a break” Miller begged as the approached a small river. Their bruised and beaten bodies were tired from the fights and lack of food or water. Bellamy eyed the fresh flowing water and nodded.

Murphy shuffled his feet into the water until it reached his knees. He splashed water on his face. Miller and the guards scooped some of the water in their hands and drank it. Clarke took a seat on a rock a few feet from them. Bellamy came to stand beside her.

“Any idea which direction we’re headed?” She asked in a hushed tone so the others couldn’t hear. Bellamy glanced around the terrain before shaking his head. Clarke let out an exaggerated sigh and bit her lip. “We’ll figure it out,” she said confidently.

Bellamy stared at her; there were words in his eyes that never made it to his lips. Clarke could see them, but was too afraid to ask. Instead, they opted to look out at the others who were thoroughly enjoying the water. That was until an arrow shot through one of the guards killing him instantly. He fell face forward into the river, his blood discoloring the beautiful blue waves. The others fled to the bank. Clarke and Bellamy jumped behind nearby trees. Another guard screamed and dropped to the ground with an arrow in his chest.

“We need to split up,” Clarke told Bellamy, “They won’t be able to follow all of us.” Bellamy shook his head violently from behind the other tree. “Whoever makes it can go back to save the others” she continued.

“They’re shooting us, Clarke! Not taking prisoners” He snapped then peered out from behind the tree with his rifle aimed. An arrow grazed passed his head and he retreated back to the safety of the tree.  “Damn it Murphy!” he cursed as he watched Murphy run off into the forest. The remaining guard and Miller took a few shots, but only achieved one hit. The grounders were in the trees high above them, they couldn’t see well enough for clear shots.

Suddenly a grounder dropped down beside Bellamy dropping his weight over him as he reconnected with the ground. Bellamy toppled over providing the grounder with the leverage he needed. The grounder kicked the fallen rifle out of Bellamy’s reach then punched him in the face. Clarke shot her pistol nailing the grounder in the shoulder. He stumbled back and Bellamy tackled him, punching him until he no longer fought.

“Stop!”

Clarke and Bellamy turned to see who gave the command. A grounder had Miller by the throat from behind, the last guard lay dead at his feet.  “You come or he dies” the grounder barked in broken English. Bellamy and Clarke dropped their weapons and raised their hands. Four grounders rushed them kicking the backs of their knees forcing them to kneel. All three had their wrists bound behind them before being led back to the prison.

They were an hour into the hike when a shot rang out and one of the grounders fell dead to the ground. Bellamy, Clarke, and Miller instinctively dropped to the ground to dodge the bullets that rained above them. One by one they watched the grounders collapse around them. Once the last grounder fell they slowly pushed themselves up to see who had caused the deaths.

Murphy sauntered towards them with a rifle in hand and another three strapped over his chest. “I thought you left,” Bellamy said halfheartedly.

Murphy gave a cocky grin, “and miss all the fun?” He pulled a knife from his pocket and waved it in Bellamy’s face, “remember the magic word?” he asked condescendingly. Bellamy’s face hardened and a menacing scowl took shape. Murphy rolled his eyes, “yeah, I didn’t think so.”

He moved over to Clarke and cut the rope from her wrist, then helped her to stand. She gave him an appreciative look then walked to Bellamy.

“What do you say, Miller?” Murphy asked flashing the knife. Millers face dropped, “please” he forced through gritted teeth. Murphy cut him free and handed him one of the rifles. “You dropped this.”

Clarke cut the rope from Bellamy's wrists. He stood and ripped the rifle from Murphy’s hands. “That’s a hell of a thank you” Murphy muttered then pulled one of the rifles off his back.

“What now?” Miller asked as Bellamy and Clarke’s eyes flew around the forest. They finally looked at each other, Clarke shook her head, “I don’t know”.

Bellamy thought for a moment before responding. “We’ll head back the way we were going. By the time, they find out their men are dead we’ll be far enough away”. With that, they all warily turned back and retraced their steps.

They only made it a few hours before another group of grounders attacked. Luckily, this time there were only three of them and were easily taken out.   
“How do they keep finding us?” Bellamy panted after killing the last grounder. Clarke shook her head slowly, “it can’t be” she muttered after a few minutes.

“What?” he pressed through his ragged breath. Clarke’s eyes went to his, “what if they’re tracking us” she asked.

Murphy rolled his eyes, “well that’s a little obvious” he said gesturing to the dead grounders. Clarke’s eyes remained locked on Bellamy’s. “GPS trackers” he nodded grimly.

“Check yourselves see if there are any bumps under your skin,” Clarke said as her fingers grazed over her arms. “Not feeling anything” Murphy mocked after checking himself. Clarke shot him an annoyed look, “it could be anywhere, keep looking.”

“Wanna help Princess?” he joked perversely. Clarke shot him another look then continued assessing her skin. “Clarke, there’s nothing on us,” Bellamy said defeated as he finished rubbing his skin for the second time. Clarke shook her head out of frustration, “how else would they find us?”

Bellamy sighed then pulled his shirt over his head and ran his fingers over his chest and stomach. Murphy and Miller followed suit. Clarke pulled up the bottom of her shirt skimming her fingers over her stomach then turned away from the guys as she slid her hands over her chest.

“If you need some help I’m more than happy to…” Murphy smiled walking towards her from behind. Bellamy’s glare stopped him in his tracks. Clarke pulled her shirt down and spun back around. “Nothing?” She asked the three of them. “Check each other backs” she ordered then faced Bellamy, “Sit down, I’ll check yours,” she told Bellamy. He moved onto his knees and she ran her fingers across his well-defined back. The trail that her touch left behind burned untapped desire into Bellamy. He shifted under her, trying to block out the tempting thoughts that were invading his mind. Clarke’s fingers continued to move, oblivious to their effect. She was too preoccupied with finding the device that the intimacy of the moment evaded her. “Damn it” she swore as she stepped away from him. The hopeful glance she gave to Miller and Murphy was shot down by them shaking their heads. Bellamy rose to his feet. “There’s one person left,” Murphy said with a cocky smile. Clarke’s eyes shifted between the three of them. She pulled at the shirt and Bellamy jumped in front of her before she took it all the way off. His body blocked the others view of her, “go look out” he ordered to them.

Murphy let out a small laugh and muttered something indiscernible under his breath before moving out with Miller. Bellamy shot Clarke a look of disapproval with his hands on his hips. “We don’t have the luxury of being modest” Clarke muttered. Bellamy’s eyes unabashedly grazed over her before he caught himself. He shook his head and turned her around by her hips. She pulled her hair to one side and tucked it over the front of her shoulder. His search only took a few inches before he felt the familiar lump under her skin just below her shoulder. He rubbed over it several times, drawing in a heavy breath. Clarke swallowed, “you found one?”

He nodded, “yea”. Clarke pressed her lips together, “okay” she sighed, “we need a fire to sterilize a blade” she instructed as she turned to do just that. Bellamy forcefully grabbed her hips and prevented her from moving.

“Miller!” Bellamy barked over his shoulder, “Make a small fire here”. Miller got to work collecting wood. Bellamy’s eyes roamed over Clarke’s exposed neck and shoulders. Unintentionally he pulled her back firmly against him, his fingers pressing into her hips. Clarke’s head rested on his chest and she closed her eyes, relaxing for the first time in a week.

“Done” Miller called after achieving a small flame. Clarke pulled a knife from her pocket and held it up for Bellamy, “leave it in the fire for fifteen seconds then make the incision” she instructed.

A lump formed in Bellamy’s throat as he stared wide-eyed at the knife, “I can’t cut you Clarke”. His voice was quiet and bashful, all signs of his usual confidence vanished.

Clarke’s eyes found his over her shoulder, “it's okay” she smiled weakly. Bellamy’s eyes gazed over the knife before dropping it to the floor and shaking his head. His fingers dug into her hips, “I can’t” he repeated. “Okay,” she comforted, placing her free hand over his on her hip. “Murphy” she called.

Bellamy’s soft eyes went hard as he glared down at her. Clarke raised her brows “what? If anyone won’t have a problem cutting into me, it’s Murphy” Her words had no effect on his glare, though, “it has to be done Bellamy” she pushed.

Murphy trotted up behind them, “You change your mind Princess” he joked. Clarke held the blade up above her shoulder to hand to him. “I need you to cut it out of me,” she told him.

Bellamy snatched the blade from her hand before Murphy could take it. “I’ll do it” he mumbled begrudgingly. He pushed the knife at Murphy, “hold it in the fire” Murphy did as ordered.

Bellamy’s heart raced with anticipation and dread. Murphy handed him the newly sterile knife. Bellamy held it over Clarke’s skin, his breath catching in his throat. His hand shook as the knife made contact with her skin. He swallowed, holding it there, unable to press it beyond the barrier of her milky white skin. Just the thought of watching the blood flow from her because of him ripped his heart apart. He tried to force himself to push the blade into her, but his body wouldn’t comply. _Just do it_ he cursed inwardly, frustrated by his inability to complete the task.

“Its okay” she whispered to him kindly as she squeezed his other hand to comfort him. He swallowed hard, eyeing the skin he was being forced to mutilate. His head dropped, resting on the top of hers. He took a heavy breath in and straightened himself out, determined to do it.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Murphy exclaimed coming to the front of Clarke and digging his knife into her flesh. Clarke’s hand gripped Bellamy’s free one silently pleading with him not to do anything. Murphy pushed the device out of her skin then tossed it into the small fire, “bye-bye tracker.”

 Bellamy’s eyes were locked on the newly torn flesh and the blood that trickled out of it. Clarke’s hand shot over the gash, and then she grabbed the bottom of Murphy’s shirt tearing it. Murphy cocked his head to the side and watched in amusement as she ripped the bottom corner of his shirt off.

Bellamy was oblivious to the action, still zoned into the newly broken flesh on her shoulder. He broke out of his daze when Clarke pushed the fabric from Murphy’s shirt over the wound. Bellamy swallowed hard then took the scrap and pressed it firmly into the wound until it stopped bleeding. 

Clarke pulled her shirt back on while Bellamy pulled his from where it was on the ground. “We should get as far as we can from here before dark,” Clarke said as if she hadn’t just been cut into. Bellamy pulled his shirt over his chest and nodded grabbing his gun. Miller kicked out the fire and they carried on with their journey.

“You tore my shirt” Murphy smiled slyly as he walked next to Clarke. 

“You stabbed me” she shrugged

“You liked it” he joked. 

“Shut up Murphy” Bellamy barked at him. Murphy shot him a questioning glance before deciding to let it go.


	33. Refuge

The traveled until dark without incident. Luckily for them they found another bomb shelter. Miller was the last to climb into the dark dank metal refuge. Bellamy held the torch they had made and scanned the area for other light sources. Clarke spotted a few candles and lite them, then scattered them throughout the room. It was a small room, with a table and chairs, there was a child’s playpen on the other side. Bellamy moved into a narrow hallway until he reached the end, there was a door on each side. He opened the door on the right, holding the torch ahead of him. The room had a queen size bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. He repositioned himself to go through the other door and was met with an identical room.

“Two bedrooms in the back, that’s it” he reported to the others.

“You and Miller should hunt,” Clarke told him, “Murphy and I can fill these canteens back at the spring we passed,” She said gathering the stock of canteens Miller had found. Bellamy nodded and they all filed back out of the shelter.

“Awe you wanted to spend time with me” Murphy pretended to gush. Clarke rolled her eyes “No. You’re a terrible hunter” her eyes fell to the direction the others had gone, “and Bellamy may mistake you for prey at this point.”

Murphy smiled, “you protecting me Princess?” he said with a laugh.

“We need all the people we can get” she shrugged as they walked. “You want me around. Admit it” he boasted.

“Not hardly,” she said dryly, still not looking at him.

“I think you’re starting to like me” he pushed with a smug smile.

“You _stabbed_ me” she shot over her shoulder.

“You _banished_ me” he retorted without missing a beat.

Clarke stopped abruptly and turned to face him, “You tried to kill a child!”

Murphy stood with his hands on his hips, “You got me hanged!”

“I cut you down!” Clarke said turning and continuing on her way.

Murphy stood for moment shouting at her, “I saved your ass” he shot back “seven times!”

She glanced over her shoulder at him “what are you keeping count?” she questioned with a smile and scrunched brow

Murphy shrugged and continued walking. They carried on in silence for a few minutes before Murphy repeated “seven times.”

“Still stabbed me” Clarke shrugged and continued walking.

**

By the time, they returned Bellamy and Miller were removing the cooked meat from the fire. Clarke and Murphy took seats around the fire and traded canteens for meat. Bellamy carefully eyed Clarke as she ate, an irrevocable thought replaying in his mind. He tried to shake it off and put his concentration elsewhere. “How can the grounders be using the same technology as Mount Weather?” he asked.

Clarke stopped eating, lowering the meat from her mouth, “we underestimated them” she said gravely.

Bellamy took a breath and gazed at the vast surrounding forest. “We should climb one of the trees in the morning; find out where the sun is. We’ll set our course southeast once we know which way that is.”

Clarke nodded then finished eating. Once everyone had finished Miller kicked out the fire and Bellamy scattered the leaves and branches over the area to erase any evidence of them. They filed back into the shelter.

Murphy peeked into the two bedrooms and came back to the group, “I call dibs on the Princess”. Bellamy glared at him with his hands on his hips. “Sorry Bellamy, you’re not my type” he joked as he took a seat at the table. “You’ll sleep with Miller” Bellamy informed him dryly.

Murphy’s eyes traced over Miller’s meeting an equal amount of disdain, “yea…….no” he shook his head “I’ll stick with her” he motioned his head towards Clarke.

“That’s not happening” Bellamy stated plainly, his arms crossing over his broad chest. Murphy let out a little chuckle and stood up from his chair. “Yea, see I would like to not be killed in my sleep,” he said with his crooked smile as he stood in front of Bellamy.

“No one’s going to kill you Murphy” Clarke assured him then eyed both Miller and Bellamy “No.One,” she emphasized to them.  “I make no promises,” Miller said then retreated to the room on the right. Clarke continued to eye Bellamy.

“You see that look in his eye” Murphy said pointing to Bellamy, “ _that_ means he will”

Clarke shot Bellamy a disapproving glance when he didn’t deny the accusation, and then she rolled her eyes. “Fine Murphy, you’re with me” She sighed then narrowed her eyes as he triumphantly smiled back at Bellamy. “Sleeping Murphy- nothing else” Murphy held his hands up in surrender, “wouldn’t dream of it” he smiled.

Clarke disappeared into the room on the left, Murphy followed, but Bellamy stepped in the way. “If you think you’re going in that room you’re mistaken” he informed Murphy.

Murphy chuckled, “I believe I was invited” his sly smile conveying his intentions.

Bellamy shook his head, “consider yourself uninvited” he said with a smirk

Murphy stepped up toe to toe with him, “I was never big on invitations anyway.”

Bellamy looked at him with a hint of amusement on his face, “You’re not this dumb Murphy.”

“I’m not sleeping with someone who wants to kill me” Murphy added his face growing serious

“What makes you think I don’t want to kill you,” Clarke asked after tiring of listening to the two men.

“Saved you. You owe me” Murphy said pointing at her

“Stabbed me” she shot back

“Had to, he wouldn’t?” he said nodding his head to Bellamy. Bellamy’s body hardened with the words and his jaw clenched.

“We don’t have time for this, just let him in Bellamy.”

Bellamy turned to her and plainly said “No” then faced forward again. “Then both of you come in and I’ll sleep with Miller,” she said aggravated, then moved to the other room. Bellamy stepped back blocking the doorway.  Clarke gave him a frustrated shove, “We all need to rest. We don’t know when we will find camp and this may be the only safe place along the way for all of us to sleep.”

“Once he moves than we can all sleep” Murphy challenged glaring at Bellamy.  “Bellamy move” she ordered.

“You trust him?” he asked glancing over his shoulder at her.

“No,” she said without hesitation. “But if he didn’t try anything the other three nights when we were alone, I doubt he’s going to with you and Miller a few feet away.”

Murphy gave Bellamy a cocky grin and took a step, but Bellamy blocked him again. “If _not_ being killed is your goal tonight, that” he pointed to the other door with his eyes “is your best option.”

The two spent a few moments glaring at each other before Murphy gave in and joined Miller in the other room.

Bellamy followed Clarke into the room on the left, locking the door behind him. He watched as she removed her boots then stood and opened the drawers to the dresser searching the contents. She held up a large shirt to her chest and smiled, “we can sleep in clean clothes tonight.” He stepped to her and pulled the shirt from her hands placing it back on the dresser. Her smile slowly faded as she looked at him. His eyes searched hers. He slowly leaned over her, his eyes locked on hers as he brushed his lips over hers. He sighed at the touch and kissed her gently, Clarke melted into the soft kiss resting her hands on his biceps. The tender moment erasing the battles of the day, and the fear of the unknown.

He slowly pulled away, pressing their foreheads together. Clarke saw the same look in his eyes that he had early. The words that lingered behind those deep chocolate eyes piqued her curiosity. “Say it” she whispered.

He pulled away from her abruptly and crossed the room raking his hand through his hair. Clarke waited patiently while he found the words.

“Did he…did they…” Bellamy's anguish hid the words from him. He stalked towards Clarke, backing her into the wall behind her. His eyes raked up and down her body until finally locking with hers. “Did they touch you” his voice was so low it was almost inaudible.

“Not like that. No” she reassured him.  Her words provided him no assurance, though. His eyes continued to scan over her body as if the evidence would be there. “They didn’t” she offered again, but it did not appease him. His breathing became labored and uneven the more he thought about it, his jaw locking.  Clarke reached a gentle hand to his cheek, drawing his eyes to hers.

“Nothing like that happened” she assured him once again. Bellamy shocked Clarke by punching his fist into the wall next to her.

“Bellamy!” she gasped. He quickly closed the distance between them and glared at her, “I highly doubt what happened back there was the first time” he growled. Clarke was pressed into the wall behind her, “he tried one other time but I fought him off” she assured him “he never actually did anything.” Bellamy moved his face within inches of hers, “I really wish I could believe you” he growled.

Clarke’s eyes glassed over, she wasn’t sure if she was upset by his anger or the fact he wouldn’t believe her. “You can” she pleaded snaking her hand back up to his neck. “Bellamy” She held his gaze for a moment, fighting back her tears. Then she pulled her head to the side refusing to look at him. “What?” he pushed.  She shook her head, struggling to keep her tears at bay. “They never touched me” she managed to get out, slowly regaining control over her emotions. 

“Emerson” he growled, causing her head to jerk back to him “No!” she exclaimed, she watched as he ground his teeth trying to decide whether or not to believe her. Now she was becoming irritated, his lack of trust towards her infuriated her.

“The only people that have _touched_ me are Finn” she watched his face tightened “and you” she could barely get the words out before his mouth crashed down on hers. He pushed against her, grabbing her hands and pinning them over her head. His mouth claimed hers as his tongue roughly tangled with hers. He pushed her flat against the wall, grinding his hips against hers, forcing a moan from her mouth. He moved her hands into one of his as his other hand moved between them untying her pants. His heavy kiss capturing every moan and gasp she uttered as her body gave into him. He yanked her pants down and undid his in one fast movement. Clarke stepped out of the pants as he dropped her hands and pulled her up to her thighs, mounted her on him. He thrust hard into her without warning and she dug her nails into his back unable to free her mouth from his. He continued with rough thrusts, pushing further and further into her. Her screams muffled by his kiss as he devoured her.

It was raw, animalistic, possessive. More demanding than the first time and yet equally desperate. There was driving need within him to ravage her, claim her. The thought of the grounders touching her had shoved a powerful urge in him, but hearing Finn’s name on her lips brought out an intense primal need in him to have her.

Clarke’s body reacted to his every touch, the encounter rendered her mind useless and she was reacting on basic instincts. Her body went limp against the wall after her climax; Bellamy continued to pound into her a few more times before reaching his. She buried her face in his neck and clung onto him. After a few minutes when their breathing returned to normal Bellamy tried to pull her back so he could look at her, but she held tight.

He hesitantly brushed his hand over the back of her head, encouraging her to look up….but she didn’t. He carried her to the bed, gently laying her down. Still she didn’t look at him; she didn’t move from the place he put her either.

He felt something tugging at his heart as he removed his shirt and pants. He lay down on the other side of the bed, trying to give her some space. _Fuck_ he cursed himself as his hand fell over his eyes. Before he could berate himself any further, Clarke made her way over to him. Her head nestling on his chest. He stared at her trying to figure out what to do. He gently wrapped his arm around her pulling her into him further. “Clarke I-” her fingers went over his mouth stopping the words from coming. Her hand glided down his neck to his shoulder and she held tight onto him.


	34. Special Treatment

“Get that _sleep_ you needed Princess?” Murphy teased as she began to climb the tree.   
“Shut up Murphy” She snapped

“Just Sayin' if-”

“Keep a look out” she barked at him interrupting his comment.

Murphy chuckled and kept a watchful eye on them, gripping his rifle. Clarke pulled herself up as high as she could into the tree. “See anything?” Murphy hollered up to her. “The sun is there” she pointed though he couldn’t see clearly through the branches. “Wait” she paused, squinting her eyes to see something in the distance. She smiled and began her decent down the tree.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bellamy asked when she finally dropped to the ground.

“Mount Weather” she beamed, “it’s that way” she pointed. “how far?” he asked glancing in the direction.

“A day, maybe two” she shrugged.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that where they held everyone, prisoner?” Murphy interjected.

“Probably not the best choice destination” he added.

“No ones there now” Miller informed trying to prevent further discussion. “You sure about that?” Murphy pushed. “Yes,” Miller glowered.

“Let’s move out” Bellamy ordered. Miller took the lead and Murphy fell to the back.

“You should have let Murphy climb the tree,” Bellamy told her in a low voice. Clarke rolled her eyes,

“The branches were small…they wouldn’t have held him”.  Bellamy stared at her for a few steps before taking a heavy breath in and turning his attention to their surroundings.  “Don’t do it again.”

Clarke ignored him and broke her pace from his, to separate them somewhat.

Murphy came up behind her, “So what happened at Mount Weather anyway?” he asked over her shoulder. “We brought our people home” Bellamy shot behind him attempting to cease the conversation.

“What about the people that took them?” he prodded. Clarke’s face went blank and a coldness veiled over her eyes, “I killed them” she said dryly. She stared straight ahead of her while Murphy slid a curious glance her way. “I’m starting to think Princess is too soft a nickname for you” he teased.

**

By the end of the day, they were physically exhausted and hungry.  Miller and Murphy hunted a rabbit and cooked it. “We’ll sleep in shifts, Murphy and I will take first watch. Get some rest” Bellamy nodded at Clarke.  Miller and Clarke settled on opposite sides of the fire while Bellamy and Miller filled in the other spaces. Not long after her head resting on the ground, Clarke was fast asleep. Bellamy glanced down at her before addressing Murphy.

“How do I know you’re not lying about Jaha?” he asked bluntly.

“You don’t” Murphy shrugged not paying him much attention. Bellamy’s lips pulled tight into a thin line as he stared skeptically at Murphy. “You’ll just have to trust me” Murphy replied staring into the trees.

“Just because you have her trust, doesn’t mean you have mine” he warned. Murphy gaze locked onto his, “I could have left all of you back there but I didn’t. I went back for you. Twice.” Murphy informed him with irritation.

“Those guards may have survived if you had stayed and fought” Bellamy retorted.

“If I had stayed, none of us would have survived.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes jerking his gaze away. “So what, you’re some kind of hero now? He scoffed.

Murphy dropped his head, “Nah….just smart enough to know you can’t survive alone out here” he glanced at Bellamy, then back out into the forest. Bellamy watched him for a minute then went back to watching the forest.

“How did you do it anyway?” Bellamy asked looking at Murphy through the corner of his eyes.

“Do what?” Murphy replied.

“Get her to trust you,” he said nodding at Clarke. Murphy arched a brow and stared at Bellamy.  “You let Finn massacre that village, you killed-”

Murphy cut him off, “you tried to kill the entire ark population,” he said with a blank face, “she trusts you” he shot at him.

Bellamy's brows drew together as his eyes narrowed, “that’s different.”

“Really?” Murphy scoffed “how?”

Bellamy glared at him, unable to come up with an answer. Murphy was right, Bellamy shuttered at the thought.

“She trusts people she shouldn’t. That’s kinda her thing” Murphy said with a shrug then went back to staring into the vast darkness of the forest. They spent the remainder of their guard rotation in silence, only inadvertently passing brief glances over each other.

A few hours later Bellamy told Murphy to wake Miller to swap positions. Murphy used a long stick to poke Miller in the shoulder until he angrily awoke. “Your turn” Murphy informed him. Miller grumbled something under his breath and gathered his weapon in hand.

“You gonna wake her?” Murphy pointed the stick at Clarke. Bellamy paused then shook his head, “let her rest, Miller can handle it”. Bellamy and Murphy fell asleep quickly while Miller kept a watchful eye out.

Two hours passed before Clarke slowly opened her eyes. She glanced around, noticing Bellamy and Murphy fast asleep she sat upright. Miller turned to face her, “Why didn’t you wake me?” She asked.

Miller nodded to Bellamy, “he said to let you sleep”. Clarke gave a scowl in Bellamy’s direction before observing the surrounding area. “You should have woke me.”

Miller glanced at her then continued surveying the terrain, he knew better than to come between the feuding leaders.

Clarke had barely wiped the sleep from her eyes when she saw the grounders surrounding their camp. She leaped to her feet, “Bellamy!” she called to wake him. The four were ready for a fight in a matter of seconds. However, much to their confusion, the grounders didn’t attack. They heard a woman call a command to them and waited diligently for the anticipated battle.

The woman appeared from the heard of grounders and approached them.

“Echo?” Bellamy called to the woman.

“I see you have survived the mountain” she replied back to him. Bellamy gave her a curt nod, unwilling to release his defensive guard.

Echo turned her attention to Clarke, “my commander requested you be brought to her” she informed her. Clarke swallowed hard and Bellamy moved between the two. Echo’s intimidating glare absorbed the action.

“Alive” she added attempting to disalarm the group.

“You can tell your commander, I don’t want to see her” Clarke informed Echo.

Echo’s eyes narrowed on Clarke, “You may come willing, or by force” her sinister tone conveying the underlying threat. Clarke glared back at her, biting back the words that were so easily found on her tongue. Her thoughts went to the other three that stood with her, understanding the danger those words could bring to them.

“Fine” she conceded.

Bellamy’s eyes shot back to hers, she gave him a nod. Bellamy’s eyes rolled back to Echo’s and glared. “What does she want?” he demanded. Echo’s stoic face remained emotionless, “my orders are to present her”.

“Why?” Bellamy pushed; putting his arm out so Clarke would not pass him.

“I do no question my orders” Echo replied coolly. “You may escort her if you wish” she added eyeing him.

Clarke touched Bellamy’s back and his head turned to her. “Go back to camp, I can handle Lexa.”

Bellamy shot back to Echo, “We’ll all go” he informed her. 

“We shall make camp. Leave at first light” Echo commanded her troops, her eyes locked on Bellamy.

The grounders went to work arranging their tents. Bellamy, Clarke, Miller, and Murphy crowded together.

“Really?” Bellamy questioned Clarke as he eyed the grounders.

“What choice do we have?” she snapped back at him. “You three should go back to camp” she added her eyes darting to Miller and Murphy.

“No” Bellamy demanded. Clarke’s eyes locked with his, “there’s no reason for you to go, you should get back to camp warn them about the Ice Nation” she told him.

“No” the sternness of his voice portraying his irritation.  Clarke rolled her eyes and made her way to Echo, Bellamy hot on her heels.

“Where is the commander?” she questioned. Echo eyed her for a while before replying “Polis.”

“How far is that?” Clarke responded

“A day’s walk.”

Clarke nodded then turned away only to walk into Bellamy. She glared up at him then walked around him.

“One of us should go back to camp, tell them where we are and not to go looking for her” Bellamy told the group once they had returned. His gaze narrowed in on Murphy, once Murphy caught on his eyes went wide and he threw his hands up. “I’m not going to do it” He exclaimed.

“You’ve spent more time in these woods than any one of us, you can make it” Bellamy informed him.

“So you want me to stroll into camp and what? They’re going to believe what I say?” Murphy retorted.

“Make them believe you” Bellamy growled.

“No, he’s right” Clarke injected, “the others won’t believe him, and the council will punish him for leaving with Jaha.” She then glanced up at Bellamy, “you should go”. Bellamy barely looked at her “that’s not happening” he coldly dismissed her.

“I’ll go” Miller spoke up; “besides, if they need someone to torture, you can just give them Murphy” he smirked at Bellamy.

“Both of you should go” Clarke commanded conceding to the idea the Bellamy wasn’t going to leave.

“I’d rather take my chances with the grounders” Murphy scoffed glaring at Miller.

“She’s right” Bellamy interjected causing all three heads to turn to him.

“No one else should risk going to Polis. Murphy knows Jaha’s plans, he should warn the chancellor.”

Clarke eyed him carefully as Miller and Murphy glared at each other. “If you leave now, you’ll make it before any search party’s head out” Bellamy ordered.

Begrudgingly the two set course for Camp Jaha. “You should go with them. The council m-” Clarke started but was harshly interrupted by Bellamy, “I’m coming with you” the determination in his throaty voice left no room for discussion. Clarke grabbed his jacket and dragged him away from the grounders prying ears.

“Stop” she ordered.

“Stop what?” he asked

“You didn’t treat me like I was going to break before-don’t start now” she snapped at him.

“Clarke, I’m not-” She cut him off “Yes you are. You’re putting everyone at risk by pushing me back. You shouldn’t have let me sleep through guard-”

“It’s different now” he let out a frustrated sigh.

“Why? You never would have told me to run from a fight before, or stay out of the trees. What’s changed?”

“You know what,” he said giving her a knowing look.

She raised her hand to him and shook her head, “don’t”.  He opened his mouth but took note of the fierce look in her eyes threatening him not to.

Clarke’s eyes revealed how appalled she was with his implication and turned away from him. He reached out to grab her, but she shot back, “don't.”

Bellamy withdrew his hand. He knew his alpha male notions were wrong, but he wouldn’t change them just the same. Things had shifted between him and Clarke. She was no longer just a co-leader to him, but a friend….and something else. It was hard enough for him before their intimate encounters to watch her in dangerous situations. Now it was damn near impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just learned...we have to wait until 2016 for season 3 :(  
> I was so bummed to learn that today, so I wanted to put out another chapter to counteract the bad news. It's okay guys, we'll get through the loooooonnnng wait together.  
> On the flip side...I just hit 60,000 words! Wow I never thought it would go this long, but the story is writing itself. Hope you enjoy. and thank you for the kudos and comments :)


	35. Triangle

Darkness encompassed them by the time they arrived in Polis. Bellamy warily eyed the building which he knew housed Lexa then glanced over at Clarke. Her face was unreadable, but she held her head high and walked strong. They hadn’t spoken much on their journey, only a few brief words with no meaning. Now as they stepped into the large building Bellamy regretted not clearing the air with Clarke.  Too much uncertainty lay in front of them to leave words left unsaid. Meetings with the grounders, no matter which grounders…never turned out well. That knowledge weighed heavily on both of them as they greeted Lexa.

“You impress me with continued survival Clarke” Lexa greeted her from her thrown.

“What do you want?” Clarke replied impatiently.

Lexa stared at her, “To what should I attribute your latest survival?” Lexa asked coolly. Clarke only responded with a glare. Her irritation with being summoned by Lexa growing by the minute.

“I am aware that you were not a guest of the Ice Nations King as he suggested” Lexa continued with her stoic demeanor. Clarke stood resolute, waiting for the commander to reach her point. “What did Rodineur ask for in return for your freedom?”

Clarke continued to glare at Lexa, refusing to partake in the discussion. Bellamy glanced at her, realizing quickly that he should intervene. “She wasn’t allowed to leave, she escaped.”

Lexa stare remained locked on Clarke, “Is this true?” she questioned.

“I just told you it was” Bellamy retorted angrily.

The tension between Lexa and Clarke was in penetrable, it encompassed the entire room. Lexa's stare held many untouched emotions, but Clarkes glare reflected her fury. Time stopped as the two had an unspoken battle.

Finally, Lexa broke her gaze and shifted to Bellamy, “No one escaped the Ice Nation” she told him coldly.

Bellamy took a step forward, now shoulder to shoulder with Clarke, “You don’t know _her_ very well” he smirked

“I _know_ her well enough” Lexa snapped back, her guarded demeanor caving for a moment.

Bellamy took another step forward, “Why did you bring us here? What is it that you want?” he demanded.

Lexa’s eyes shot to him, “I didn’t bring _you_ here” she snarled.

Bellamy bit back his anger, then replied, “You want Clarke, you get me too” he took another step forward and slightly to the side, his shoulder now in front of Clarkes.

Lexa leaned forward, “leave” she commanded.

Bellamy crossed his arms over his broad chest as he eyed the guards around him then glared back at Lexa. Lexa’s frustration crossed her face as she struggled to maintain her authority. She glanced at the guard on her right and he moved to Bellamy.

“Stop” Clarke ordered. Lexa’s eyes darted to hers as she raised her hand to stop the guard.

“I wish to speak with you” Lexa informed her “only you.”

“I’m not leaving” Bellamy stood resolute between the two.

“What do you want Lexa?” the harshness in Clarkes voice shook Lexa’s imperial stance on her thrown. Lexa took a few breaths, breathing in the strength to remain emotionless.

“What did you tell the King?” She asked

Clarke took a few steps, passing around Bellamy. His eyes darted to her as his arms slowly uncrossed.

“Are you afraid I told him about you? Told him your secrets?” Clarke glowered.

Lexa leaned further forward, “Did you?” she interrogated.

“What would I tell him? That you are a coward? That you betrayed our alliance? That you would do anything to save your people no matter the cost to anyone else?” Clarke’s words had a visible effect on Lexa. She fell back slightly in her thrown, growing limp for a second. She fought to push back her emotions.

“What I did Clarke” she started softly, “I saved my people.”

“By leaving mine to die” Clarke snapped

“But they didn’t-did they?” Lexa replied harshly “You saved your people just as I saved mine. You may not see it now. Or ever. But the decision I made was just” Lexa’s eyes softened “We-”

Clarke interrupted her, “There is no _we_ Lexa. You made sure of that with you left me to die.”

Bellamy’s eyes darted to the back of Clarke’s head, her words hard to swallow. His breath faltered for a moment as he began to grasp the depth of the pair’s relationship.

“May we speak in private?” Lexa asked Clarke quietly.

“I have nothing to say to you” Clarke retorted coldly. The held each other’s gaze for what felt like hours before Clarke turned back to Bellamy. “Give us a minute,” she asked him not fully meeting his gaze. Bellamy's jaw dropped and he vigorously attempted to catch her eyes, but she refused. His heart felt heavy as he stared at her in disbelief. After the shock wore off his eyes turned cold as his jaw clenched shut and he walked out of the building.

Lexa waved her guards out and they followed Bellamy’s path. She looked back at Clarke, unsure what words she should give.

“Are you hurt?” she asked.

Clarke’s brows scrunched together, “what do _you_ care?”

Lexa stood from her thrown, stepping off the pedestal that held it, “I do care Clarke” She replied slowly confronting her. “I care a great deal. You have stood in the face of death once again and survived. You are a great leader” Lexa now stood before Clarke, her usual stoically imperial face melted into one consumed with compassion.   
“Your warrior told me you were tortured” his eyes searched over Clarke. She reached out brushing her fingers over Clarke’s cheek. “I would have killed the man that brought such pain to you.”

Clarke took a firm step back, “that is not your choice.”

Lexa’s confusion read on her face as she tried to comprehend the statement. “I understand your anger with me Clarke, in time it will fade.”

“What do you want?” Clarke spoke through gritted teeth.

“I want you to stay with me. I can protect you from the King, I can show you-”

“Do you honestly think I would stay with you after what you’ve done?” Clarke took a threatening step forward, “Not _all_ of my people walked out of Mount Weather. Most of them were drained of their marrow, tortured” Another step closed the gap between them; “I had to annihilate an entire community to save them. Women. Children. People that helped us. I killed all of them.”

Lexa swallowed hard, Clarkes fury vibrated through her veins, “You defeated them” she assured her, “You saved your people from certain death-that is what a leader does.”

Clarke’s body betrayed her as it began to tremble, tears welling in her eyes.  “I killed them, they were innocent and I killed them” she choked the words through her sobs

“You saved your people. The lives it cost for their freedom were the price of war” She cupped Clarke’s face in her hand. “You cannot concern yourself with their deaths, only your people’s lives. That is what it takes to lead. Separate yourself from whatever sorrow you feel for the people that hunted and killed yours.”

*Bellamy*

He stood staring at the doorway he had just exited. Lexa’s words swarming through his head filling him with resentment and betrayal. He watched as the grounders fled the building, forming a line blocking the entryway. He swallowed back his pride as he waited for Clarke to join him.

A while later Clarke emerged from the doorway, tear stains on her cheeks gripped his chest. “Are you okay?” he asked concerned by her appearance. She nodded, “Lexa has offered you a room in that building to rest in.”

Bellamy was in front of her in three strides, “what about you?”

“She still wants a meeting; I didn’t want you standing out here waiting. She’s arranged a meal for us in a few hours we’ll talk then” Bellamy didn’t fight her when she turned and re-entered the building, only stood and watched her disappear.

 _Damn it Princess_ he thought to himself then headed for the other building.

*A few hours later*

Clarke was seated in a large ornate room decorated with drapes in burgundies and olive greens. A mahogany table filled the center with seating for twenty. Lexa sat across the middle of the table from Clarke. Suddenly the doors to the room burst open and to grounders appeared each holding on of Bellamy’s arms.  Lexa slowly rose to her feet while Clarke jumped to hers rushing to Bellamy.

“Heda, this man-” Clarke snapped at him “Let him go” she ordered. The grounders looked the Lexa and she gave them a slight nod of approval. They dropped Bellamy’s arms and he yanked away from them. His breath ragged as he looked at Clarke.

“Always warm welcomes with them” he grumbled.

“I thought he would leave once rested” Lexa inquired as she rounded the table to join them.

“How long will you stay then” she asked Bellamy. Bellamy eyebrows drew together and he looked to Clarke.

“She will not be returning with you” Lexa stated, reading Bellamy’s confusion.

Bellamy looked to Lexa then back to Clarke tilting his head. He marched over to her grabbing her arm, “We need to talk” he said pulling her out of the room but the guards stopped him.   
“Move” he growled at them. The guards stood firm until Lexa waved them off.

He dragged Clarke out of the city to a nearby lake.

“What the hell Clarke?!” he demanded finally releasing her arm.

She shook her head, “I didn’t realize that she wanted me to stay with her” she said honestly.

“ _With her_ ” Bellamy echoed back to her. It took a minute for him to digest the full meaning of the words. Then his brows drew together and his eyes narrowed as he hunched over her to stare straight at her.

“ _With_ her?” he repeated. Clarke turned to walk away, “Bellamy this really isn’t something we are going to discuss right now,” she said slightly irritated. He grabbed her arm and swung her around.

“Like Hell it isn’t” He snapped.

“I never said I was staying” she started yanking her arm from him and crossing them over her body.

Bellamy’s hand raked through his hair as he tried to grasp the situation and not completely unleash on the tumultuous blonde.

“How in the Hell can you….” His hands planted firmly on his hips as he tried to find the words; “She left you to die-She _killed_ Finn” he threw at her knowing full well what that name might unleash.

“No Bellamy, _I_ killed Finn” she snapped back now full of anger.

“Because _she_ was going to torture him to death” he snapped back just as angrily.

Clarke shook her head and rolled her eyes at him and walked past him towards the city. He grabbed her arm again, “stop Bellamy” she yelled and pulled away from him. He had enough of this. He grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. She screamed at him thrashing all four limbs demanded her release. He walked into the lake and dropped her into the cold water.

She fell onto her back; completely submerging then rose onto her elbows and glared up at him. He stood over her, one foot next to each of her hips blocking her from moving. His arms crossed over his broad chest.

“Bellamy Move!” She ordered, but he didn’t so much as flinch. She tried to wiggle around him and free herself from the cold water, but it was no use.

“What do you want Bellamy?” she demanded.

He leaned over to put his face inches from her. “I want to know how someone so smart, can be _this_ dumb” he stated. She glared at him. Then her fist flew to his jaw but he caught it in his hand and gave her his usual smirk. She tried again with the other fist, but he quickly blocked that one too. Frustrated she began to raise her knee. Bellamy caught her and dropped to his knees over her hips blocking the painful blow she was about to deliver between his legs.

“ _That’s_ not nice,” he told her cocking his head to the side and smirking triumphantly.

“Damn it Bellamy-Move!” she demanded again, her wrists trapped in his hands, and her body imprisoned by his weight.

“Not until we straighten a few things out,” he told her. She glared up at him.

“First- _SHE_ is the reason Finn is dead- Do you remember the eighteen deaths, Clarke? That is what _she_ was going to do to him.” Clarke struggled underneath him. She managed to get one hand free and dove it under the water grabbing a fist full of mud. She flung the mud over his face and tried to pull away from him.

He regained control of her wrist and leaned forward pinning her wrists in the mud beside her head. Forcing all but the very top of her face to be submerged in the cold water.

“Second,” he said with more irritation “ _She_ brainwashed you into sending _me_ into Mount Weather…to die.”

“I chose to send you in there-not her” Clarke snapped back at him.

“No _I_ chose _not_ to go when you asked me not to, _YOU_ only wanted me to go _after_ you spoke with her.”

“God Clarke-you are not this big of an idiot,” he said giving her wrists on the last shove then sitting back on his heels. He ran his hand through his hair looking down at her, shaking his head.

“She dug a hole in you Clarke, She took Finn from you-worse than that she made you do it-so _you_ would feel the guilt. She preyed on the guilt to get you to push everyone you love away from you.” His hands flew back to her wrists as he crashed over her. His eyes hovering inches from her. “She convinced you to let a bomb drop on our people Clarke. On Octavia,” he glared at her.

“It was _my_ decision” she snarled back.

“Really? Then why did you rush to get there, why did you put _your_ life at risk to get to TonDC Clarke? WHY?” he said gripping her wrists tighter. Something in that resonated within her; he could see it in her eyes. “Exactly,” he said sitting up. “She created a hole in you and put herself in the only position to fill it” with that he stood and offered her hand.

Clarke remained in the water, part of her trying to block out his statements, but another part of her….the rational part of her couldn’t. She grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her from the icy water.

“I know what you’ve done is eating at you. I know it’s still haunting you Clarke” he said holding her hand even after she was on her feet. He gazed into her, “I can still see it in you, I hear it when you cry in your sleep. I feel it when you try to block it out. But” he brushed his fingers over her cheeks, “you can’t go back” his eyes softened as hers glassed over, “Your friends still need you, your mom still needs you….I need you” his thumb wiped away a tear that fell from her eye.

“She has taken so much from you. Don’t let her take the things you still have.”


	36. One time too many...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter includes sexual content.  
> It may be a week before the next update...my work schedule is insane over the next week-sorry. I dished out some heavy Bellarke in this chapter, hopefully it'll tide you over :)

They had not spoken since leaving Polis. When Clarke started to slow her pace, Bellamy found a place to stop and dropped his pack. He wondered off to gather firewood without a word. They seemed to function in that manner since the incident in Polis. Clarke had spoken privately with Lexa before they left and did not offer any information to Bellamy regarding what was said.

Now here they sat, in the uncomfortable silence of their own making.

“I’m glad you came to your senses Clarke, “he said playing with the fire as he sat across from her.

“What makes you think I’m not going back,” she asked sharply.

His head dropped in irritation, “because you’re not an idiot” he said flatly while looking up at her.

She shrugged.

His head tilted, his eyebrows drawing together and eyes narrowing. “You can’t be serious.”

She looked up at him, “it doesn’t concern you let it go” she said coldly. His head lifted up, his face relaxing. He sucked in the side of his cheek as he contemplated her words.

Suddenly, he stood and walked over to her, she jumped to her feet, ready for a fight. He stopped briefly, an amused look forming on his face. After he had got his fill of her defensive stance, he continued on, sauntering to her. When he was only a foot away from her, she matched each of his steps forward with a step backward. He continued stalking toward her slowly until she backed herself into a tree. He leaned in, his lips hovering over her, his eyes gazing into hers.

“Is that what you want?” he asked her firmly, staring deep into her eyes. She licked her lips and stood up as tall as she could at the moment. Her eyes meeting his glare. He looked down as she licked her lips and he smiled. “Is it _really_ what you want?” he pushed returning his eyes to hers.

Her breathing became heavy, but her eyes remained affixed to his in a glare. He waited a moment before continuing. “ _I_ think you want something else entirely.” He said closing the distance between their bodies. Their clothes touching, but that was all. He looked down at her lips then back to her eyes. “Don’t you” he whispered into her ear.

Her body betrayed her as it trembled before him. Her eyes remained filled with the same intensity but her body…..her body was giving in. She could feel his fingertips lightly brushing over her hip. She swallowed hard trying to regain control of her body. Her breaths were becoming more ragged by the minute. She whimpered as she felt his soft touch skate up her side.

He knew exactly what effect he was having on her, and he reveled in it. Strong and stubborn Clarke was before him, trembling for his touch, his kiss. The sight excited him more than he thought possible.  For the first time, he was able to draw out their encounter. His fingers and eyes slowly lingering over her absorbing the seduction at the moment. Instead of being overpowered by the physical lust he flourished in the emotional aspect as well.

“What is it, Clarke? What do you want?” he whisper into her ear as he his hands skimmed the front of her hip. A moan escaped her lips and she felt her knees buckle as his words traveled through her. He pressed his body into hers to keep her upright. She could feel his him pressing between her thighs.  

Her head was hanging loosely to the side, she was melting into him.  Time froze between them as the provocative lust increased.

“Tell me Clarke” he whispered as his lips hovered above the nape of her neck, he pushed himself harder between her thighs.  Another moan escaped her lips and she fought hard to control her breathing. Her leg lifted around him, opening her more to him. He moved his lips up to hers, barely grazing them then pulling back; he repeated it then pulled back his eyes meeting hers.

They stood there, gazing into one another before she finally whispered, “Take me.” In less than a second his lips crashed onto hers. He hungrily kissed her, his tongue rolling over hers. She moaned in his mouth nearly driving him over the edge. He pushed his hips into her, bending to grab her legs and pull her around him. He tore his mouth from hers, hungrily kissing her neck. When his mouth latched with the nape of her neck, his teeth scraped over it causing her moan his name and roll her hips into him. His lips returned to hers both starving for more of the other. He dropped her legs down and yanked her pants and underwear off in one swoop. She kicked her way out of them and pulled at his belt. As soon as she frees him he wrapped her legs around him again. He kissed her hard and forcefully then plunged into her. “Fuck” he breathed onto her neck. She arched her back to meet him. Her hips bucking fiercely as he remained still inside her.  He looked back at her and took her mouth into his as he thrust hard into her. He continued, harder and faster until she screamed his name clawing the skin on his back as she climaxed. He came with her, digging his fingers into her hips.

He pushed into her a few more times before he slowly pulled out of her. He released her legs and brought his hands to the sides of her face. Leaning over he gently kissed her bruised lips and nudged her nose with his. He kissed her again, but this time she tastes different….salty.

He pulled back and looked up at her, his smile fading. Tears streaked down her face, but she kept her eyes closed. He pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly. His heart breaking with every tear she cried. “Did I hurt you?” he asked quietly as she sobbed. She shook her head. He pulled her back so he could look at her, his hands cupping her face. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I can’t do this Bellamy” she whispered pushing on his chest. His heart dropped, but his body held strong against her.   
“Clarke” he breathed   
“No!” she snapped pushing harder against him. She continued to push then eventually squirmed away from him. He caught her arm, refusing to let her run.

“Clarke, talk to me.”

“No” she struggled against him, but he was relentless.

“No, you’re not gonna run- tell me what’s wrong?” He demanded

“Bellamy, let me go” she ordered twist and yanking her arm to free herself.

He glared at her as he withstood her feeble attempts to break free. “Is it Lexa?” he glowered, “are you……do you…” he couldn’t find the words, he didn’t want to find them. He didn’t want to hear them, nor did he want to hear her answer if it was due to Lexa.  “Is it her?”

Clarke continued to struggle, “No” she replied fiercely. 

“Then what is it?” he demanded yanking her arm, forcing her against him. Clarke’s eyes shot up to his, she paused briefly before replying.

“I don’t want to destroy you” she whispered

“Clarke” he sighed, his eyes softening as he looked back at her seeing her vulnerability in the moment. She shook her head violently. “No Bellamy”

He wrapped his strong arms around her and drew her into him, hugging her tightly. She fought against the embrace briefly but inevitably gave into him. “I can’t let anything happen to you” she whispered softly into his chest.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me” he reassured her, squeezing tighter against his chest.

“It happens to all of them,” she said pushing away from him. He released her and watched as she walked back to the fire. The squeezing pressure in his chest intensified as he the encounter they had just had was washed away by her pushing him away….again.

He waited silently, hoping she would continue….explain to him. Clarke was shutting down, though and had no intention of enlightening him any further.

Bellamy felt too exposed emotionally, he was too afraid to push her to elaborate.  He just stood there….his feet unwilling to move, his heart too afraid to speak.

Clarke could feel him behind her; it tore at her chest to push him away. She wanted him to sit down and forget what happened, but he didn’t. She sat quietly until the urge to speak consumed her and she stood and turned back to him.

“I won’t be the reason-”

“Stop!” he snapped at her cutting off her explanation. Clarke’s mouth snapped shut as her eyes glassed over. “Bel-”

“Stop Clarke!” he snapped again. He raked his hand through his dark curly locks, “just stop” he breathed as his gaze dropped to the ground.

 

It was a while before he dared look at her again, but when he did, there was a look in his eyes that Clarke had never seen before. A glimmer of something unknown, a passion driving unspoken words. She was drawn to him as she slowly closed the gap between them. Her hand grazed his cheek as she studied the intensity of his stare.

This was it. She could feel it.

If she pushed him away again….he wouldn’t come back.

That what was in his eyes.  A mixture of determination and pleading, hope and desperation. She had pushed him one time too many and he had reached a breaking point.

The forming of tears stung her eyes as she contemplated the weight of her decision. The unforeseen and irrevocable cost of what would happen is she continued.

 She knew what she _should_ do.

What she _needed_ to do.

But there was too strong a pull and she was unable to walk away. Unable to turn her back on the man that had done everything to save her, to protect her. The man that had always stood by her side even through their differences. The man that had never once looked at her differently after the tragical destruction that lay in her wake.

“Bellamy” his name rolled off her tongue like silk. It was the most natural word in the world to her. A name she had called out in fear…in anger…in pain…and in passion.

His face softened, begging for her. Her hand moved to the back of his neck. Her head fought every inch of her heart as she closed the distance between them.  She watched as Bellamy struggled against the relief he wanted to feel. He wouldn’t allow himself that pleasure until she said it. He knew her too well, and her good-byes could be devastatingly brutal on him.

Clarke’s eyes drifted to his lips. Those lips had kissed her with such passion and need before. Those lips that could call her name so softly one moment could be so hard against hers the next.

She leaned up, barely brushing her lips with his. The need to know how soft those lips could be if the moment weren’t torn by desire gravitated her to them. He kissed her softly. He wouldn’t let his passion get the better of him this time. It was her choice, and if she chose to go….he wanted to give her one last kiss.

The kiss was filled with everything they had shared, all of the hurt and anguish, betrayal, and trust…..love. Yes, love. Clarke gave herself to him, all of her. She relinquished the fears she previously held onto and reveled in his lips and tongue. There was no war, no grounders, no Earth….just them. The realization rained down on her that all she needed was him. It had always been Bellamy. She had been too afraid to admit it, too stubborn to give into it.

Not anymore. She needed him just as much as he needed her. Their lives were never complete without the others presence. Nothing would ever be easy for them, but knowing that there was someone to share the burdens with…to alleviate the guilt and pain…what more could they ask for?

They had been sent into a living hell and survive….together. Bellamy had pulled Clarke from the hell she had created within herself, and she had saved him from a selfish war.  They had so many differences between them, but that could never tame the devotion they had to each other.


	37. Believing....or not

“Bellamy” Clarke breathed. His brown eyes were full of dreadful anticipation when she looked into them. She placed a gentle hand on his arm, “I’m not leaving you”. A reluctant hope twinkled in his eyes, but he was still hesitant to believe her. “We are better together, than apart,” She assured him. He smiled wearily, unable to concede to her words.

*Back at Jaha*

“For the tenth time! It was Bellamy’s idea for us to come here!” Murphy growled at Abby.

“And he’s with my daughter? She is safe?” Abby pushed eagerly.

“Yes! Your daughter is just fine” he rolled his eyes “Can I go now?”

“No” Kane shot at him. “We still haven’t gotten a believable story out of you regarding Jaha’s location.”

“I. Told. You.” Murphy growled through gritted teeth “That idiot is in the City of Light” Murphy’s patience had flown out the door shortly after his and Miller’s arrival back at camp. The never-ending interrogation from Kane and Abby was brutal enough, but Raven and Monty decided to have their go at him in between rounds. No one believed his story about Jaha…and Miller did little to help his situation. So he remained in the council room…not a prisoner…but not free to go either.

“You will not use such language to address your formal chancellor” Kane snapped at him.

“I will when the former _chancellor_ is planning to build a bomb that could kill us all” Murphy snapped back.

*Bellamy and Clarke*

They continued their journey at first light; neither had spoken since the previous night. They walked in a comfortable silence, carefully assessing their surroundings.

“What did Lexa want” Bellamy begrudgingly spit out the name he became to detest even more than he had previously.

“She wanted to know what I told the King. She was afraid that I-”

“Betrayed her?” Bellamy finished with disdain. Clarke shot him a quick glance then shot her eyes forward again. They carried on in silence for a few more steps before she spoke again.

“She just wanted to know what I told him.”

Bellamy’s eyes darted over to her, “She betrayed you. Us. She doesn’t have the right to ask anything of you.”

Clarke’s eyes met his briefly before focusing on the path ahead of them. “She-”

“Don’t” Bellamy snapped “Don’t you dare defend her.”

“Bellamy” she sighed, “she’s a leader sh-”

Bellamy grabbed her shoulder forcing her to stop and look at him. “What happened between you” he growled. The question had been burning inside him for the past week, gnawing at him. He tried to prepare himself for her answer; his mind had contemplated every horrific response she may give.

Clarke bit down on her bottom lip while she fought to answer him. They stared at each other for a long while before she gave her response. “I don’t know” she answered honestly as her eyes dropped to the forest floor.

“I thought” she sighed, “I don’t know what I thought” her eyes fluttered around the forest “She was there when everything was falling apart. She-”

“Used you” he finished for her. Her eyes met his again, but he rolled his eyes away. Clarke was the strongest woman he had ever met, the smartest…he couldn’t understand how she had ever become so naïve to fall for the trap Lexa had set.

“I know that part Clarke,” he said annoyed. “What I mean is. _Did_ anything happen between you?”

Clarke caught the underlying question and hesitates with her answer. “She kissed me” she answered quietly. Bellamy stared at her, his eyes narrowing “when?”

“Bellamy, we need to keep moving. We don’t have time for this” she retorted moving forward.

His hand shot to her arm stopping her in her tracks once again, “When?” he pushed.

“What does it matter? It wasn’t real- _you_ pointed that out. It was one kiss. One time. Let it go.” 

“Answer me” He growled

“Right, before you deactivated the acid fog” she snapped at him. Her words cut straight through him, “so when I was running through mount weather, being shot at and chased….you were-”

“Bellamy don’t go there” she replied quietly. Bellamy’s face hardened as he clenched his jaw. “There’s nothing you can say to me that can make me feel any worse about it. At that moment, it gave me a feeling of life…not just the war and death that surrounded me. It was a brief moment of weakness where I only wanted to feel like a girl. Not a leader that everyone depended on. Not the person that let a bomb kill so many. Not the person that sent you into the mountain to die. Not the person that put a knife into Finns heart” she trembled over her last words. She had regained some composure before she finished, “so whatever you want to say. Don’t” her face was guarded and broken when she turned away from him to continue on their journey.

Bellamy wanted breathless for a moment; he slowly turned his head and watched her walk away. He swallowed hard before he followed her.

*Camp Jaha*

“Oh great. You again” Murphy said sarcastically as Raven snuck into the room.

 “Get off your ass. Let’s go” she snapped at him, her eyes darting to the door.

“Yea…I think I’ll take my chances here” he scoffed taking a swig of his water.

Raven crossed the room swiftly, “Jaha was spotted outside the camp. He’s on his way here. I don’t know what you know, but I doubt they’ll keep you around when he gets here.”

“Awe. Reyes, you care. I’m touched” He replied dramatically placing his hand over his heart.

“No. I don’t” she replied, her eyes darting back to the door. “But if Bellamy didn’t kill you. He must have had a reason”.

Wick stuck his arm in the door motioning for them to come, “Let’s go” she snapped back at Murphy. Murphy didn’t need another invitation. If Jaha was returning to camp, then he didn’t want to be here.

Wick snuck ahead of them ensuring a clear path around each turn. After they had exited the Arc, Wick shot off to the communications area while Raven guided Murphy around the back of the Arc.

“Find Bellamy and Clarke,” she said handing him a pack “Tell them Jaha’s here.”

“You believe me?” Murphy asked in disbelief. She shot him a look dispelling his thought “if he _is_ up to something. They need to know before they get back.”

Murphy gave her a smirk. Raven’s radio clicked twice and she threw a stick at the fence. The stick bounced off the fence and dropped to the ground. “Go” she ordered him. Murphy crouched down through the fence and trotted to the tree line and out of sight.

*Bellamy and Clarke*

The sun beat down on them through the canopy of trees above them. They had been hiking for hours; they were only a few more hours from camp. There was a strange noise far ahead of them. Clarke lunged into action moving quickly to the noise when Bellamy’s hand clasped over her mouth and pulled her back against his chest and behind a tree. “Shh” he whispered in her ear. The voices of grounders became louder. Bellamy’s grip on her tightened as they grew near.  Clarke recognized the dialect and her eyes grew wide. These weren’t grounders from Lexa’s tribe. They were from the Ice Nation.

They watched frozen as four grounders walked a few meters away from them. Clarke shut her eyes, praying they wouldn’t see them. Bellamy turned his head to watch them. His breath caught in his throat as Murphy came into view. His hands were bound in front of him and a rope attached him to one of the grounders. His faces and hands revealed the fight he had put up before being bound.

Clarke’s eyes opened when she realized Bellamy breathing had changed. She turned her head as far as his hand would allow. Her mouth opened as she saw Murphy, Bellamy’s hand instantly tightened on her mouth. She struggled against him, but he held her firm. “Stop” he growled quietly in her ear, keeping his eyes locked on the grounders.

He waited until they were well out of sight before he eased his grip on her. She shot away from him, but his fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back.

“We have to go after them” she snapped.

“We need a plan,” he said calmly, his mind had already begun assessing the situation. “We can’t just let them take him” she replied looking back in the direction the grounders had gone.

“We don’t have any weapons. Lexa took them-remember?” Her free hand flung around over his hand imprisoning hers while she pried his fingers from her.   
“So we let them take him?”  Bellamy’s grip was unaltered by her attempts. “No” he rolled his eyes. “but we have to be smart about this or we’ll be in the same position as Murphy” His eyes darted around the forest as his mind analyzed every possible strategy.

“What’s he even doing out of camp anyway?” he thought out loud.

“Do you think they got him and Miller before they made it back?” Clarke asked fearfully. Bellamy shook his head “no”; his eyes met hers “They would have made it further than that.”

“Damn it Murphy” Bellamy growled under his breath as he looked at the path the grounders had taken.


	38. Project Rescue Murphy

“Bellamy you can’t be serious” Clarke replied, flabbergasted by his suggestion.

“Clarke, we know where they’re going. We need to get weapons before we try to take them on” Bellamy explained.

“We can’t just leave him!” Clarke exclaimed

“If they haven’t killed him by now, chances are they won't.”

“And that’s good enough for you?” Clarke questioned. Bellamy stared down at her. “What do you want to do Clarke? We can’t take on four grounders with no weapons; we’ll only get ourselves caught or killed.”

“At least we will have tried” She shot back at him. Bellamy rolled his eyes away from her while running his hand through his hair. “I’m not leaving him” she declared then marched in the directions the grounders had gone.

“We need to be smart about this” He replied placing a gentle hand on her arm.

“If it were me, would you be willing to head back to camp before going after them?” She accused

Bellamy shook his head, replying without hesitation, “no.” A fiery determination flamed in Clarke’s eyes at his response, “You and Murphy are two different people” he continued. Clarke glared up at him, “Every life matters- remember?”

“Some more than others” he muttered.

“How can you say that?” She shot at him. Bellamy planted his hands on his hips, annoyed with the current conversation. “Murphy saved me; he saved you on that cliff.”

“He tried to _kill_ me too” Bellamy replied with annoyance

“So what…he should die because of what he’s done?” Clarke challenged

“I’m not doing this with you” Bellamy replied moving past her, his shoulder brushing hers.

“You can’t-” Bellamy swung around and cut her off, “It’s not the same. Don’t go there because what you’ve done and what Murphy’s done aren’t the same. I’m not doing this with you. We’re not leaving him to die-we’ll go back for him once we’re prepared” Bellamy didn’t wait for a reply he simply turned back around and headed toward Camp Jaha.

*Camp Jaha*

“Tell me again why we’re following Murphy?” Monty questioned as Raven moved beside him on the trail.

“Because I don’t trust him” she replied plainly.

“Okay…but why did we have to sneak out?”

“Jaha’s back….and _if_ Murphy is telling the truth, then I don’t want to be anywhere near him.”

“That’s a big ‘if’” Monty replied shooting her a look. Raven eye’s caught his momentarily before looking away, “the biggest” she mumbled.

*Bellamy and Clarke*

“Why do they keep taking us?” Clarke thought out loud as they moved through the forest.

Bellamy shook his head slightly, “I don’t know. Besides Lexa, what did the King want from you?”

“He only asked me about her. He offered an alliance if I told him whatever he wanted to know.”

“Did you” Bellamy shot a glance at her

Clarke shook her head, “He was supposed to return to the jail to question me, but I got out before he did.”

“Would you?” he pushed, this time is not looking at her. Clarke swallowed hard, “I’m not sure.”

Bellamy’s eyes darted to her, but his head remained forward. “It’s not about Lexa” she continued “I just don’t trust them” Bellamy nodded.

Suddenly his arm shot out to stop her. Clarke froze in her tracks her eyes and ears on alert. Voices carried through the thick forest ahead of them. They both scurried behind a few tall shrubs, hiding themselves.

“What was that?” Raven questioned her finger on the trigger of her gun.

“Raven?” Clarke called from behind the shrubs, standing.

“Jesus Clarke! You scared the shit out of me!” Raven exclaimed jumping back. “I could have shot you!”

“Not like that” Miller added pointing to the safety of her gun. Raven glared at him while Monty pounced on Clarke pulling her into a hug.

“You’re okay” Monty sighed into Clarke’s neck. Bellamy moved around them standing beside Miller.

“Where’s Murphy?” Raven asked looking around, expecting him to pop up out of the bush as well.

Clarke shook her head. “The grounders got him” Bellamy filled them in “We were coming back for weapons to go after them.”

“We brought extra….just in case” Miller replied pulling a rifle from his shoulder and handing it to Bellamy. “We should still head back and get more manpower, these grounders are hard to take on,” Bellamy said.

“Doubt you’ll get any help” Raven chimed in “Jaha’s back.” Clarke and Bellamy’s eyes met momentarily before turning back to Raven. Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but Raven beat her to it, “he just got in as we left. We wanted to make sure you knew before coming back…we sent Murphy…but….it’s Murphy.”

“We need to go after him now then,” Clarke told Bellamy. Bellamy contemplated the options quietly. “Bellamy” She put her hand on his arm to draw his eyes to her, “You wanted guns” she gestured to the rifle on his back, “We have them. We need to go get Murphy” she pushed.

“Or….not” Miller injected beneath his breath.

Clarke didn’t respond to him, and Bellamy fought a smirk. “Bellamy,” Clarke said in a warning tone. He rolled his eyes, and then shifted them to Miller. “They’ve got a few hours on us, we may catch them before they arrive back at their camp” he informed. Begrudged Miller followed him, “Are we _sure_ we want to save him?” Raven questioned before following the group. Clarke shot her a disapproving look.

*

They hiked until dusk, “We’ll make camp here, there’s no way we’ll catch up to them before dark” Bellamy ordered. “I’ll gather some firewood” Monty offered then headed away from them. “Miller and I will hunt.” Bellamy said, “give us your canteens, we’ll head to the spring we passed on the way out here,” Clarke said. Clarke ran to grab Monty’s while Raven took Bellamy’s and Millers and headed down the path.

Clarke jogged to catch up with her, but Bellamy got a gentle hold of her arm as she came by him. “Be safe?” he told her, “you too” she replied then hurried after Raven.

“Tell me why we are about to save _Murphy’s_ ass?” Miller questioned as he and Bellamy moved off the path. Bellamy let out an aggravated sigh, “We may need him” he replied.

“So you’re just gonna overlook _everything_ that asshole did, on the off chance that we _may_ need him?”

“I’m not overlooking anything” Bellamy snapped at him. Miller backed down instantly, “I’ll take the left” he offered quietly jutting over to the side.

*Clarke*

“What happened in Polis?” Raven inquired as they made their way to the spring. Clarke glanced behind them, ensuring their solitude. “Lexa offered me a deal.”

Raven’s caught on to Clarke’s gesture and inched closer to her, “And Bellamy….doesn’t know?” She asked slowly. Clarke shook her head. Raven’s eyes narrowed as she waited for Clarke to continue. “It’s not his decision.” Raven looked away from her briefly before pinning her in an amused glare, “you do realize that you two are incapable of making _good_ decisions without the other-right?”

Clarke glared at her momentarily, then back ahead of her. “He can’t know” she urged, silently pleading for Raven not to say anything, “not now.”

“But you will tell him?” Raven asked as they slowed to a halt by the spring, Clarke stared at her but never answered.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy and Miller returned to the arranged campsite with a large rabbit in tow. Monty had already built a fire and smiled up at them when they approached. “I found a shelter” he boasted pointing into the woods behind him. “Just behind those trees.”   
“Good job” Bellamy praised as Miller flung the rabbit to the ground.

“Where are Clarke and Raven? They should have been back by now?” Bellamy asked, as his eyes searched the area. “Haven’t seen them” Monty replied

“I’m going to look for them, keep your eyes open” Bellamy ordered as he headed toward the spring. It didn’t take him long before he ran into Raven…literally. Her head spun around as she shoved against his chest, “watch it Blake!” she shouted. “Where have you been?” he huffed at them.

“We found a path nearby; it looks like the Ice Nation may use it frequently. It may be a faster way to their camp” Clarke reported. “You shouldn’t have gone alone” he warned. Clarke shot him a look while Raven eyed the both of them, “What am I. chopped rabbit?” she quipped. Bellamy gave her an unamused look then motioned for them to head back to the others as he followed up behind them.

“Monty found a shelter, we’ll hunker down there after we eat” he informed them.

They returned to Monty and Miller, who had already prepared the rabbit and were cooking it over the fire. They reveled in the warmth the fire provided them with and rested on the forest floor. They ate quietly and retreated to the shelter soon after.

“There’s a room in the back with bunk beds” Monty informed them once the last one entered the shelter. “I’ll take the couch” Miller offered, plopping down onto the large sofa in the first room. The others continued to the back and claimed beds of their own. “You and Raven take the top bunks,” Bellamy told Clarke.

“Always knew you were a bottom Blake” Raven snarked as she climbed on the bunk above Monty. Bellamy glared at her then climbed into the bed beneath Clarkes.

“What’s the plan tomorrow?” Monty asked.

“We get Murphy back” Bellamy replied shortly

“Well that’s an elaborate fail-proof plan” Raven mumbled.

“They’ll make it to the prison before we can catch up to them, I know my way around inside. It shouldn’t be too difficult” Clarke responded.

“And, why again are we risking our lives to save Murphy?” Raven inquired

“He has information on Jaha” Bellamy responded.

“Didn’t he already tell you what he knew?” Monty interjected

“He’s one of us. We are not leaving him there” Clarke said harshly, leaving no room for negotiation.

“oh-kay,” Raven said slowly, eyeing Clarke suspiciously “we’ll rescue Murphy” she conceded half-heartedly then dropped onto her back, “but he’s _not_ one of us.”

*The next morning*

They all piled out of the shelter and headed down the path that Clarke and Raven had found the previous night. The route was more direct, shaving several hours off their journey.

By the time, they approached the prison camp the sun was high in the afternoon sky. They carefully observed the grounders outside the building. They spotted six so far and when two more rounded the corner Bellamy and Miller shared a glance. Even with guns, eight grounders were a lot to take on. While Bellamy and Miller were both good shots, the others were inconsistent from a distance. They continued to survey the camp for a while before formulating a plan.

“We need to take out the grounders out here before moving in” Bellamy informed the group as they huddled around him.

“If we shoot first, they’ll all run out. We may not be able to take them all on. You and Miller should provide cover while we get inside.” Clarke rebutted

Bellamy shook his head, “You’re not going in there alone” he glared at her.

“Okay seriously…I’m getting tired of your lack of appreciation for me” Raven chimed with irritation. Bellamy didn’t so much as spare her a glance.   
“It’s the best shot we have and you know it” Clarke challenge Bellamy.

“What are we talkin’ about?” Murphy asked sticking his head over Raven’s shoulder. Raven jumped away from him her heart pounding out of her chest. Once she realized who it was she came back and beat her fists on his chest “You fuckin bastard!” she shouted as she continued to wail on him. He laughed and ducked away from her. Everyone else stared at him with confusion. Clarke hugged him, “We were coming in after you” she explained.

“Did they tag you?” Bellamy asked sharply. “Nah, they thought they drugged me with the water but I spit it out after they left. I’ve been awake the whole time.”

“Good” Bellamy nodded.

“Can we get the hell out of here now?” Raven asked. They turned to leave, but Murphy stepped in front of them.

“There’s somebody else in there” he informed

“One of us?” Bellamy asked with confusion

Murphy shook his head, “I don’t know who it is, just that he speaks English, not grounder.”

Bellamy looked back at the prison camp deflated, then back at the path behind them. “We can’t just leave them in there” Clarke pointed out. Bellamy sucked in a heavy breath, “I know” he sighed.

 


	39. Guess Who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know it's been a minute since i updated...we're down a few people at work so i'm not getting much down time. I'm working on the next few chapters now, so I'll post them in bulk over the next few days :)

“Do you know where he is in there?” Bellamy asked Murphy.   Murphy nodded, “I can find him”

“Stay here, I’ll go with Murphy to find whoever the hell is in there,” Bellamy told Miller. Miller gripped his gun while he surveyed the grounders outside the building.

Clarke opened her mouth to object, but Bellamy spoke before she could, “they’ve probably upped their security. The less noise we make” he nodded to his gun. “Going in, the fewer grounders we have to fight” he stepped towards Murphy and added in a low tone. “I don’t need a gun to take out a grounder”

His met Clarkes and she gave him an understanding nod.

Bellamy swallowed hard then glanced at Murphy, “let’s go.”

“Yeah…that was a cute speech, but you’re plan’s not gonna work” Murphy quipped at him with a smirk.

Bellamy’s irritation was instantly visible on his face as well as his body as he took a threatening step towards Murphy. “And _why_ is that?” he growled out quietly.

“You were right about one thing; they have upped their security…so much so that I couldn’t just stroll out the door this time. I found a tunnel.”

“So we’ll go through your damn tunnel” Bellamy growled moving toward him, Murphy put a hand on Bellamy’s chest stopping him, “not so fast oh _fearless leader_ ” Murphy smirked. Bellamy’s eyes darted between Murphy’s and Murphy’s hand on his chest, the unspoken threat was clear, and Murphy withdrew his hand.

“ _You_ can’t go,” Murphy said flatly

“And why is that” Bellamy growled, his irritation rapidly increasing. He was aware the longer they delayed, the more time the grounders would have to find them there. All he wanted was to rescue whoever was still in there and get the hell away from this prison camp.

“You’re not gonna fit,” Murphy said with half a laugh.  “I barely squeezed through, there’s no way you will.”

Bellamy raked his hand through his dark curly locks in frustration. “How do we get to him then?” he asked.

“ _We_ don’t” Murphy replied pointing his finger between himself and Bellamy. Bellamy turned to Miller, “you go with him.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening either,” Murphy said shaking his head.   
“And why the hell not? He’s the same size as you” Bellamy shot back at him

“I’m not trusting him to _not_ get me killed” Murphy replied

“Like I trust you, that this isn’t all some sort of trap? Like you haven’t bargained with the grounders to trade us in for your freedom?” Miller shot back, stepping to Murphy

Murphy took an equally temperamental step towards Miller, “If I wanted to do that, I would just shout to them now…not lead _one_ of you inside leaving the rest here...”

Clarke stepped between the two, holding her hands to keep them separated. “We don’t have time for this. I’ll go with Murphy” she injected.

Bellamy’s disapproval wasn’t difficult to read from the look he gave her. “Like you said, the fewer grounders we have to fight, the better. If Murphy knows a way around the bulk of them, we need to use it” she rationalized. Bellamy rolled his eyes away from hers. What she made sense, but he didn’t like it. He turned to Murphy and an unspoken agreement was made in their shared look.

“This way,” Murphy said pointing away from the group, “Stay behind me.” Clarke nodded and followed. Bellamy gently grabbed her hand as she moved passed him, “stay close to him” he said quietly. She gave a tight nod; words formed in her throat, but wouldn’t come out of her lips.

Bellamy, Miller, and Raven took positions on the ground, their weapons aimed at the grounders. “Stay close to him?” Raven mocked in a whisper, “never thought I’d hear you tell anyone to stay close to Murphy” she grumbled.

“Better Murphy then a grounder” he replied flatly.

“You sure about that?” Miller asked glancing over at Bellamy.

“Keep your eyes on the door” Bellamy snapped back at him. He didn’t want to listen to any more of their questions. The only thing of importance was watching the grounders and keeping their position safe until Clarke and Murphy returned.

*Clarke*

Clarke followed Murphy a few hundred feet away from the others, their bodies on alert moving cautiously through the thick forest.

“How do you keep getting out?” Clarke questioned in a whisper from behind Murphy

Murphy stopped moving and looked back at her, his eyes revealing a foreign expression to him. It quickly dissolved into one of amusement, “don’t trust me anymore Princess?” he asked with a crooked grin. Clarke’s eyes narrowed, uncertain of her answer she continued to prod him. “Just curious how you can keep escaping them.”

Murphy leaned into her. “They really” he leaned in closer. “rReally” he leaned even closer, his face now inches from hers. “Suck at finding hidden knives on me” he finished with his cocky smile then walked away, motioning for her to follow.

Clarke continued to follow, debating the honesty of his words internally. Murphy abruptly came to a stop causing Clarke to bump into him. She quickly moved around him, her eyes darting through the terrain around them looking for a threat. “What? Why did you stop?” she questioned.

Murphy nodded to the hillside beside him, “tunnel” he replied shortly. He reached down to move some branches near the ground away from the hill revealing a small hole. Clarke eyed the hole, glancing back at Murphy. The hole was man-made and only about two feet in diameter. Literally, just a hole dug into the side of the little hill.

“What’s the matter Princess, where you expecting a red carpet?” He quipped at her. She gave him a disapproving look, “how do you know It won’t collapse with us in it?” she questioned, her eyes back on the sketchy hole.

“I don’t” he shrugged. “But if you want to play hero, this is the _less_ likely way to get killed doing it.”

“Didn’t realize you cared” she quipped back at him.

He turned away from her, “you’re growing on me” he replied then contorted himself to fit into the tunnel. She hesitated momentarily before following him into the hole.

They were quickly engulfed in complete darkness. Murphy carefully maneuvering throughout the small dark space, as she followed behind. Occasionally she would crawl over his feet, unable to judge the distance in the dark, and unwilling to detach completely for fear of being unable to find him again if she did. They silently made their way through at an agonizingly slow pace.

*Bellamy*

“How long do you think it will take them?” Raven inquired over her shoulder.

“As long as it takes” Bellamy replied shortly, his eyes never leaving the doorway they’d exited on their previous escape.

“How do we even know there is even anyone else in there?” Miller questioned, “I’m not as willing to just believe Murphy” he added with an eye roll

“Shut up and focus” Bellamy ordered, his tone relaying his authority.

*Clarke*

Clarke grunted as she crawled over Murphy’s feet when he came to a stop. “Why did you stop?” she whispered nervously into the black abyss. Murphy’s moved a hand to the area in front of him waiting to feel the path, “hang on.” He moved his hand to the right of his head and found where the tunnel continued crawling. Clarke continued on behind him once again.

After a while longer, relief washed over them as bits of light broke into the tunnel. Clarke released a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding as Murphy’s shoes came into view. The relief she felt mixed with a new fear as she now could see how tight the tunnel actually was. She watched as Murphy’s shoulders and back grazed the sides and roof of the tunnel causing bits of dirt to scrape off them. She wasn’t sure how he had even been able to maneuver his body to move in the clausterphobic space. She caught herself holding her breath each time his body seemed to squeeze into an impossibly small spot. She held her breath as he slowly wiggled his shoulders through the narrow tunnel. He always managed to continue moving, though it wasn’t without great difficulty- and no doubt great pain.

*Bellamy*

“It’s been too long,” Raven said with worry

When Bellamy didn’t reply, Miller prodded further. “How long are we going to give them?” he asked cautiously, not wanting to poke the bear.

“As long as it takes” Bellamy replied. While his tone conveyed his strength, inside he was battling the urge to barrel into the prison. _A little while longer_ he assured himself

*Clarke*

Clarke stopped crawling when she noticed Murphy had. He tapped his foot as if trying to communicate something to her. She watched his shoulder sink down as he maneuvered his arm from underneath his chest. He stretched his arm in front of him until it hit a flexible material. He slowly pulled the thick material to the side.

A room came into view; he wiggled forward and glanced to every corner of the room. After ensuring the room was empty, he pushed himself out of the tunnel until he toppled over his head out of the tunnel. The curtain that had covered the tunnel fell back into place hiding it.

Murphy quickly moved to his feet and pushed the curtain back, revealing a relieved Clarke. He grabbed her arms and pulled them around his neck as his arms reached around her pulling her from the tunnel and placing her on the floor. She brushed herself off, happy to be free from the tight space. Her eyes grazed over Murphy immediately noticing the tears in his jacket that broke through both layers and down to his skin. Some areas were rubbed raw, others caked in the dirt with indiscernible damage. She reached out instinctively to assess the wounds, but he turned toward the door. She followed; his arm guided her behind him as he opened the door slightly. He ducked his head into the hallway, watching and listening for any potential threat. Once he was sure it was clear he stepped into the hall followed by Clarke.

They slinked along the wall, stopping briefly at each doorway they encountered. Murphy stopped completely when he reached one of the doors, his fingers slowly wrapping around the handle. The door creaked as it opened.   
“I did _everything_ you wanted! We had a deal!” An angry voice bellowed through the door. Murphy glanced back at Clarke, his eyes searching for confirmation to carry on. She gave him a nod and they plowed into the room. The room was empty, minus the angry prisoner who continued to shout until his eyes fixed on Murphy. A look of confusion and relief washed over him.

“Clarke?” he croaked out with relief as she entered the room.


	40. Guess Who-Part 2

Clarke stood frozen, her entire body unable to move, her mind unwilling to force it. She stared back at the familiar face that haunted her. Her heart raced so fast and hard she could hear it pounding in her chest. Her breaths were caught in her throat forming a lump that was slowly choking her.

“You know him?” Murphy questioned carefully eyeing Clarke’s reaction to the prisoner. Clarke didn’t answer, she didn’t hear him. The only thing she could focus on was the man chained to the wall before her.

Murphy’s eyes darted between the two attempting to understand their odd reunion. He had never seen Clarke in such rare form, the strong woman he had known and relied on was shaken to the core. He knew the prisoner was the cause of the reaction, but who could possibly knock the impenetrable leader down to such a shattered shell?  
Clarke’s mind was unable to process anything, but her body moved instinctually toward the man. She slowly pulled a knife from her pocket and reached for the rope binding his hands. The pace at which she cut the ropes was agonizingly slow for Murphy, who was now more concerned with being caught by the grounders than whatever peculiar relationship Clarke and the prisoner had. He moved back to the door, glancing out into the hall. When he turned back, the prisoner was free and moving towards him.

“Whoa,” he said holding up a hand stopping the man in his tracks. “Not so fast, we need to see if you have a tracker in you.” Murphy pushed the man back into the room and closed the door behind him. He pulled his sleeves up and ran his hands over his arms, “I don’t have one” the man glowered.

“I don’t believe that” Murphy shot back. Murphy felt a familiar bump in the man’s forearm and pulled his knife from its sheath. Before the man could protest Murphy sliced into his skin and pushed the tiny device out. They watched it drop to the floor, clinging as it bounced. Murphy looked back at the man with a smirk, “ _Now_ you don’t have one”. With that Murphy spun back to the doorway, after assessing the hall he waved for them to follow.

The man eagerly came behind him and followed his movements along the wall. They made it thirty feet before Murphy looked back and realized that Clarke wasn’t with them.

*Bellamy*

“What’s that?” Miller asked as a shimmer of light reflected from something near the edge of the building.

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific” Raven quipped

“Over there” he pointed with the barrel of his gun, “I think there’s something metal.”

Bellamy and Raven’s eyes followed and caught a small glimmer of light.

“Could be how they used the radio, probably a small tower” she replied.

“Try to get closer, if that’s the tower they’re using we’re going to destroy it before we leave” Bellamy ordered. Raven gave a sharp nod then slunk away to get a better look.

*Clarke*

“Where’s Clarke?” Murphy asked the man behind him. The man glanced back, expecting to see the blonde behind him. He turned back to Murphy and shrugged. Murphy shot him an accusatory glare than pushed passed him retracing their steps. He found Clarke still standing in the room, her eyes glazed over, she was barely recognizable to him.

“Time to go Princess” he tried to break her from her trance, but it didn’t work. He grabbed her arm and dragged her behind him, “not the time to check out on me” he mumbled as they entered the hall. He moved back in front of the stranger, pulling Clarke between them. They continued moving cautiously through the dimly lit hall until they reached the room that hid the tunnel they had used. He let go of Clarkes arm and pulled a pistol from his waistband as he hesitantly entered the room. After ensuring it was empty, he pulled Clarke in and the other man followed.

*Bellamy*

“It’s definitely a tower” Raven reported as she sunk back down next to Bellamy.

Bellamy let out a heavy sigh as he racked his brain for a plan. “Can you break it?” he asked. Raven nodded, “I’ll need some time, and there’s a guard on it” she replied.

“I can take care of the guard. We can’t leave with the tower in place.”

He glanced over his other shoulder at Miller “You got this?” he asked tilting his head to the front of the camp. Miller nodded. “If anything should happen, we meet back at the bunker we used the last time we were here-got it?” Bellamy ordered

“Got it” Miller confirmed.

*Clarke*

Murphy pulled back the curtain that covered the entry to the tunnel. He glanced back at Clarke then glared at the other man. “If I see you come out of this tunnel before her, I will kill you before you ever touch the ground” he threatened. The man gave him a curt nod. Murphy glanced back at Clarke again with confusion, before climbing into the tunnel.

*Bellamy*

Bellamy and Raven made their way to the back of the building. They crouched down behind a few bushes to better assess the situation. After watching the guard for a while Bellamy formulated a plan, “move around to the back, I’ll distract the guard while you disable the tower” he ordered.

Raven moved quietly through the forest and around to the opposite side of Bellamy. Bellamy was about to make his move when he heard an odd rumbling nearby. He followed the noise with his gun aim and ready to fire. His steps stopped abruptly as he realized the noise was coming from a small hill. He stared at the hill curiously and jumped slightly when Murphy’s head popped through the side.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bellamy accused

“Playing piano” Murphy replied sarcastically, “what does it look like I’m doing?”

“Is Clarke with you?”

“Yea, she’s right behind me” Murphy replied slowly wiggling one arm out of the tight tunnel and out to freedom.

“Take her to the bunker we used last time, we’ve got to take care of something then we’ll meet back there” With that Bellamy spun back around and disappeared into the forest

Murphy stared back at him, “yeah…sure…no problem…Nah I don’t need _any_ help getting out of this INCREDIBLY SMALL HOLE” he finished his sarcastic comment in a loud grumble. Then pushed himself out of the tunnel landing face first on the ground two feet below him.

He mumbled a few obscenities then reached back in the tunnel to pull Clarke out. He brushed the dirt off of himself as the other man plummeted onto his face “watch that first step” Murphy snarked as the man cursed.

*Bellamy*

His plan hadn’t exactly gone as expected. He had hoped to distract the guard and lure him away from the radio without killing him. He didn’t want to cause any commission. However, the guard wasn’t so easily distracted. Now he was forced to confront him head on. He threw a few rocks a few feet from the guard so he could throw him off a bit before moving in. He pulled a knife from his belt and charged the grounder. He tackled him to the ground, slashing his knife into the grounders thick neck. He tried his best to end this quickly and quietly so they weren’t exposed. The grounder wasn’t going down that easy, though. He gained the upper hand and flipped Bellamy over, pounding his fist into him. Bellamy slammed his left fist into the grounders jaw then stabbed into his neck with the knife in his right hand. The grounder slowly fell limp over him. Bellamy rolled the lifeless body off of him and moved back onto his feet.

Raven appeared from the forest and got to work with the tower immediately. Bellamy kept a close watch as Raven worked her magic. It took her thirty minutes to put the tower out of commission.

“Done” she beamed at him. “It’s about time” he replied, still on high alert.

“Well next time, you can disable it…then I can comment on how long it takes you” she snarled. Bellamy rolled his eyes. “We need to move him” he gestured to the lifeless grounder. “If they find a body they’ll send a search group after us, we need all the lead we can get” Bellamy grabbed the grounders arms, “keep watch” he commanded to Raven. She raised her gun and peered around the building while Bellamy dragged the b body into the woods.

*Clarke*

Their trip back to the bunker was awkward at best. Murphy tried, and failed, several times to shake Clarke out of her uncharacteristic mood. The stranger wouldn’t engage in any conversation. By the time they reached the bunker, Murphy, was beyond perplexed and irritated. He sent the pair into the bunker while he hunted for their dinner. When he returned with his kill, he found the stranger had taken residency in one of the bedrooms, locking the door, and Clarke was sitting outside the bunker leaning against a tree.

He glanced at her curiously while he started a fire, and prepared the meat. Her eyes were fixated on the ground below her. He was nearly finished cooking all of the meat when she finally looked up at him, almost as though she had just noticed that he was there.   
“Where’s Bellamy?” she asked softly

“Like I told you…he-” Murphy stopped mid-sentence and jumped to his feet grabbing his gun in the process as he heard footsteps approaching.

“Put the gun down Murphy, you’ll hurt yourself” Raven joked as she appeared out of the dark abyss.

Murphy relaxed back to the ground, ignoring her comment. Bellamy and Miller followed Raven.

Raven and Miller both grabbed a stick of the meat before plopping to the ground. Bellamy glanced over Clarke, “where’s the other person?” he asked. “He decided to take a room to himself…the gracious person he is” Murphy snarked.

“Who was it?” Bellamy asked

Murphy shrugged, “I don’t know…Clarke seemed to, though” he tilted his head to her. Clarke pushed herself to her feet and moved to the bunkers entry.

“You not eating Princess?” Murphy asked holding a stick out to her. Clarke eyed the meat as if it were going to come to life and attack her. She shook her head and moved quickly into the bunker.

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed on Murphy after Clarke disappeared, “What did you do?” he accused

Murphy‘s face filled with annoyance, “ _I_ didn’t do a damn thing” he replied.

“Why don’t I believe you” Bellamy glared at him

“Because you’re an ass” Murphy replied with a smirk.

Bellamy shot him a warning look before grabbing a stick of meat. He was too hungry and tired to deal with Murphy; he decided to wait until morning to do it.

After they had finished eating, they filed into the bunker. Much to Bellamy’s dismay, Clarke was on a chair in the living room. He had hoped she took the opportunity to sleep, but she hadn’t. He could tell something was off with her but decided not to push it. They had both been going non-stop for so long that he knew she may just need some sleep…and space. He plopped onto the couch across from her; “you three can have the room” he informed them.

Raven and Miller eyed Murphy then each other. “You are in the middle,” they both said simultaneously.

“Awe, guys, don’t fight over me” Murphy rolled his eyes and moved into the room. Raven and Miller glared at his back until he disappeared then they reluctantly followed.  

Bellamy listened to their threats through the wall for a while before exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep.

Clarke, on the other hand, remained awake, unable to think, unable to sleep, unable to move. The reunion earlier in the day left her in a whirlwind of emotions and regret.


	41. Mystery Revealed

Hours had passed; Clarke sat with her knees drawn to her chin, while Bellamy lay sleeping on the couch across from her. Through the darkness she could just make out the face in front of her.   
“You gonna talk to me now?” He questioned as he walked to her

“I don’t know what to say” she whispered as tears stung her eyes

“I miss you would be the traditional route....or you know…I’m sorry for stabbing you” he joked

“Finn” she whispered, her voice breaking over his name

“Shh” he came to her, wrapping his arms around her. Clarke gripped on his shirt pulling herself into him. “Its okay” he murmured into her temple. “I understand” he pulled back and stared into her tear-filled eyes “it’s what you do”

Her brows drew together quickly, “I never wanted-”

“Shh” he cut her off, pulling her back into his chest. “I know” he whispered into her golden hair. She sobbed into his chest.

“It was my turn” he said calmly, patting her hair.

She pulled back from him so she could look into his eyes. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears. “You killed your father….Then wells….then me” he glanced over his shoulder at Bellamy’s sleeping form, then back at her.

“No” she pushed against him “Finn, you left me no choice. I never wanted to hurt you”

He smiled down at her, “It’s okay princess, it was fun while it lasted”

 “Finn….Raven…I gave you my heart….”

“Do I still have it?” he questioned, his usual carefree expression replaced by a menacing one.

Clarke’s eyes shot away from him, “that’s what I thought” he replied grimly.

“It’s not that simple” she said

“I love you Clarke, what’s not simple about that. I left Raven… _for you_ …I surrendered myself to the grounders… _for you_ …”

“I never asked for any of that” she replied with a sob

“but I gave it to you Clarke, and you put a knife in my heart” his grip on her tightened.

“You killed innocent men, women and children. You condemned me for a lesser crime than that. You killed everyone in that mountain, even the ones that helped you. Octavia, Lincoln, Kane…they should all be dead from the bomb you let fall on TonDC” he gripped her shoulders harder “A bomb Clarke. Guns weren’t enough for you?” his grip bruised her shoulders, but his words cut much deeper than that.

“What happened to the sweet girl that wanted to save everyone? How did you become such a monster?”

Clarke’s eyes flew open in confusion as she heard one of the bedroom doors creaked open and the man they had saved crept out of it. Clarke tried to compose herself from her nightmare as she watched the man attempted to sneak passed Bellamy in the dark. She knew the dark room had prevented him from seeing her on the chair in the corner.

She watched as he crept carefully to the ladder. Unfortunately for him, Bellamy woke. The man froze momentarily, glancing between Bellamy and the exit. He continued to move to the ladder.

“Where are you going?” Bellamy asked, unable to make out the man’s face in the dark. He reached instinctively for his flashlight, pressing it on and turning back to the man.

“You!” he growled, in less than a second he was off the couch and pummeling the man into he wall. A side table broke against the floor as it was caught in their brawl. Both men’s fists swung fiercely at the other.

Clarke leapt off the chair and grabbed Bellamy from behind pulling him away. Miller, Murphy and Raven rushed from the other room. Murphy held the other man back as Miller, Clarke and Ravens struggled to control the furious Bellamy.

“What the hell is-” Raven’s words cut short as she recognized the man’s face, “Emerson?” she questioned.

“You know him too?” Murphy asked releasing the Emerson from his grip as he was no longer fighting against him. Bellamy on the other hand, continued to push and twist against the others. This was not a fight he was willing to concede.

“What the hell are you doing here” He barked out

“This is the guy we got out of the grounder prison” Murphy replied with concussion

“Him?!” Bellamy growled, “You went back for him?!”

Murphy put his hand up. “First off, I haven’t no fucking clue who this is. Secondly….I have no fucking clue who this is” he quipped.

“Bellamy stop!” Clarke demanded, frustrated with his struggle to break free and carry on with his fight.

“You should leave” she warned Emerson, stepping in front of Bellamy

“That’s what I was _trying_ to do” he snapped back

Clarke maneuvered herself to remain between the two as Emerson made his way to the ladder. Raven and Miller still had a grip on Bellamy when Emerson leaned into Clarke.

“I don’t know how you are still alive, but we both know… you don’t deserve to be” he said just above a whisper.

Clarke shut down instantly, and although he couldn’t hear the words, it was all the fuel Bellamy needed to charge at him again. This time Murphy stood in his way with his pistol pointed at him. “I’m really tired and not in the mood for this, so back off” he warned.

Bellamy considered his options for a brief moment before speaking, “do you even know who you’re defending?” he said in a low growl

“I’m not defending anyone…I just want to get some sleep” he smirked

“Move out of my way, and we can all get some sleep” Bellamy growled stepping closer to Murphy.

“Yea…kinda hard to sleep with the sound of you killing somebody” he replied

“Move Murphy” Bellamy threatened.

“If this guy can piss you off this much…I like him already” Murphy said with a cocky grin.

“This guy chained Clarke to a wall and tortured her for weeks before leaving her for death” Bellamy said through gritted teeth.

“What?” Murphy asked, clearly taken back by Bellamy’s response.

“he starved and beat her within an inch of her life” Bellamy growled moving passed Murphy’s gun and stepping chest to chest with him, “still want to protect him”.

Murphy spun around his fist slamming into Emerson’s jaw before anyone could stop him. Emerson fell to the floor and both Murphy and Bellamy jumped over him. Emerson managed to crawl backwards to a nearby wall when Clarke managed to push Bellamy into Murphy, slightly.

“Stop” she demanded bracing herself in front of Emerson. Bellamy slowed him attack, while Murphy however, and didn’t hesitate. He grabbed Clarke by the shoulders and shoved her into Bellamy. Bellamy’s arms wrapped around her to steady her while Murphy closed in on Emerson.

He was almost to him when he was greeted by the barrel of a gun. Raven stood her ground, holding the riffle tight in her arms, “Please, give me a reason” she told him.

“Raven, what the hell are you doing?” Bellamy barked moving away from Clarke.

“I want him dead as much as the two of you, but be smart about this. The grounds have been using the same GPS devices _and_ interfering with our radios…sound familiar?” she said.

Bellamy begrudgingly mulled over her words, “You’re helping them” he glowered around Raven at Emerson.

“Yes. I did” Emerson fearlessly replied.

“See” Raven said with a raised brow, “We need him to find out exactly what he taught the grounders…what technology they have”

Bellamy’s eyes shifted between Raven and Emerson before he stormed away, “tie him up” he barked at Miller as he moved passed him.

“So he was in Mount weather?” Murphy asked

“Yes genius” Raven snarked at him. Miller brought over a pair of handcuffs and rope. He pulled Emerson’s arms behind his back and placed the handcuffs firmly on his wrists. Next he pulled Emerson to his knees and tied the rope around each of his ankles, then up and around the handcuffs. The bindings held Emerson on his knees, disabling him from any escape or attack. Although the position left him defenseless and unable to break free, it did little to appease Bellamy. His fury raged through him and was only tamed by the irritating knowledge that they needed Emerson alive. He sat in the far corner of the room conjuring ways to kill Emerson after they learned everything from him. After a while he tore his eyes from Emerson and landed them on Clarke. He stormed across the room and stood in front of her, “Get in the other room” he demanded. Clarke’s hollow eyes looked up at him, but instead of melting him they further infuriated him. Knowing Emerson had once again put a void in her drove him to the brink of insanity. “Now” he ordered

Clarke was too lost within herself to argue; she turned and left the group entering one of the bedrooms. Murphy watched bewildered at the sight of Clarke following Bellamy’s command.

“Not sure that was necessary” Raven mumbled. Bellamy’s head snapped to her, “She is not going to be in the same room as him”

Murphy cautiously eyed Bellamy, for once; he was smart enough to not make one of his notorious comments. Instead he sunk back away from the group and followed Clarke’s path.

He found her sitting on the edge of the bed, her entire body tense. “You alright?” he questioned the tumultuous blonde that he now found in rare form. He carefully made his way around to the front of her. “It’s not his fault” she said quietly, her glassy eyes locked on the wall in front of her.

“I know Bellamy can be an ass” he started with a smirk, “but I don’t disagree with him after hearing what-”

Clarke cut him off “I wasn’t talking about Bellamy” she snapped. The look in her eyes forced Murphy take a step back. Her passion filled righteous blue eyes were shattered by an unspoken emotion.

“Did he tie you to a wall and torture you?” he questioned bluntly.

Clarke’s eyes fell to the floor, “it wasn’t like that” she whisper.

Murphy leaned down to her, “unless it was some kinky sex t-”

“Out” Bellamy barked at him. Murphy straightened his back, standing tall. He glanced over Bellamy, questioning whether to argue with him, or let it go. Everything about Bellamy’s demeanor told him if he didn’t let it go, there would be hell to pay. With a sympathetic look over Clarke he exited the room.

“I don’t want you near him” Bellamy ordered. Clarke opened her mouth to object, but Bellamy beat her to it. He kneeled in front of her. “He’s already gotten to you, he’s inside your head, and he shouldn’t be”

“He hasn’t done anything” she replied

“Like hell he hasn’t. I can see it Clarke, I see you pulling back. I’m not going to lose you again to him.”

“He-”

“Clarke stop. If you defend him again, I _will_ go out there and kill him to keep him from getting to you any more than he already has.” Bellamy grabbed her chin forcing her to look at him, “do you understand me. I _will_ _kill him_. I don’t care what intel we miss out on, it’s not worth it if I have to watch you fade away again” he released her chin once he saw the realization and comprehension of his words wash over her. She was well aware that it wasn’t an empty threat, and he played on the fact that she was still coming to Emerson’s defense to keep her in line. The look in her eyes haunted him as he left her in the room alone. He couldn’t stay in there, not with that look…that empty void…he could almost see the guilt and ghosts eating away at her. He couldn’t watch her fade back into that dark place that he worked so hard to pull her from.

 


	42. Inexplicable Actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was informed on here that some readers nominated this story for a bellarke fanfiction award on Tumblr-I just want to say thank you so much to whoever took the time to do that. Voting starts on there soon, but honestly...this being my first ever time writing-i'm blown away that someone thought the story was enough to be nominated :)  
> So thanks again!!

Hours had passed. Clarke knew dawn would soon be approaching, and if she didn’t move fast, she wouldn’t be able to execute her plan. If she couldn’t somehow free Emerson in the night, she never would be able to. The knowledge that Bellamy would be upset plagued her, but not as much as watching the last surviving mountain man be tortured by him.

She wasn’t naïve enough to believe that Emerson would willingly hand over information. Or that Bellamy wouldn’t take the opportunity to extract some revenge.

She crept along the bed in the dark room. At some point Miller and Raven had laid down on the bed behind her, but she had been too consumed in her own thoughts to notice. She opened the door slowly, silently praying it wouldn’t creak as the other one had. Luck was one her side because the door opened without a sound. She stepped out into the main room. She could just barely make out Murphy’s sleeping body on the couch. Her eyes moved across the room until they landed on Emerson on the floor. She searched around for any sign of Bellamy, _he must be in the other room_ she thought when she couldn’t find him. The door to the other bedroom was still ajar, but she moved forward anyway.

She fell silently to her knees before Emerson; his cold eyes stared at her as she freed his ankles from the rope. The handcuffs, she knew, would be a problem. Emerson continued to glare at her as he rose to his feet. Her eyes skimmed the room for the elusive key that could free his hands, but she didn’t see it.

“The big one has it” Emerson informed her, his icy tone cut straight through her. She glanced at the opened door. Trying to get the key from Bellamy was risky, too risky. “I’m sure you know how to get it from him” Emerson sneered.

Clarke moved to the room, her mind knew better, but her body was following his unspoken command. She entered the room and gingerly ran her hand over the dresser, hoping the key was there. No such luck. She knew him better than that. The only place he would keep that key would be in his pocket. She moved to the bed, hesitantly looking down at him. She could barely see him in the dark, only his outline. She crawled next to him, sitting on her knees. She reached her hand to the outside of his pocket, gently brushing her fingers over it hoping to feel which one held the key.

His hand was quick though. His fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her on top of him. His lips easily found hers in the dark, as if pulled into them by gravity. This kiss was nowhere near as hard and demanding as the others they had shared. It was more sensual, but the hunger behind it was still there. The emotions he felt were laid out in the kiss as he slowly slide his tongue into her mouth.

One of his hands tangled itself in her golden locks behind her head, holding her to him, as the other pushed her hips into his. Just two hands and his lips rendered her body useless to fight against him. All thoughts of the key were lost to his touch.

His tongue danced with hers as he flipped them over, making his way on top of her. He planted kisses along her jaw to her ear, then down her neck. She moaned in response, her body melting into him, her back arching her chest into his.

She pulled his shirt over his head, and then her fingers made work on the button of his pants. There was something different about the way he touched her. The desire was still there, but the insatiable hunger had been tamed into slow touches. His fingers felt like they were acquainting themselves with every inch of her. He kissed her with an unspoken emotion, holding her close to him with every move.

The possessive urgency that had once filled their previous encounters had been reigned in and now they savored every moment. She pulled him to her, her fingers wrapping around his dark curls, deepening their kiss. His hand traveled underneath her shirt.

Suddenly he was off the bed and she heard a loud thud against a wall. Her eyes darted around and stopped when they adjusted once again to the dark. She observed Bellamy with his forearm pinning Emerson to the wall by his throat. Emerson’s hands were still shackled behind his back and a tiny clinging noise echoed off the walls as he dropped the key to the ground.

Light filled the room as Murphy flew in. “I got him” he informed Bellamy, not even noticing Clarke on the bed. Murphy slowly peeled Emerson from Bellamy and pulled him from the room. Bellamy’s shoulders heaved as he still faced the wall where he had held Emerson. He wasn’t ready to face her yet. Silence and tension filled the air between them until it was too much for her to take.

“Bellamy” she whispered. He put his hand up, silencing her. He had yet to turn and face her. Instead he moved to the door and left her alone in the room.


	43. Goading a King

Clarke followed a few moments after Bellamy. Murphy had already retied Emerson while Bellamy stood over him. “Put him in the back room” he ordered. Murphy and Miller all but dragged Emerson into the bedroom, leaving him on the floor and closing the door behind them.

“She goes nowhere near him” He warned staring a Clarke. “Or you can tie her up too” he added then stormed out of the bunker.

The darkness of the forest engulfed him as he exited the bunker. Pale streaks of moonlight slowly peaked through some of nature’s thick canopy above him. He wanted to run, to scream…to void himself of every emotion coursing through him. The sounds of a commission nearby stopped him from acting out his wants. He hunched down next to the opening, listening to the sounds disturbing the nights quiet.

 _Grounders_ he thought as he could clearly make out a voice. He slowly crept back into the bunker, pulling the door shut and locking it above him before climbing the rest of the way in. He put a finger to his lips silencing the others. He pointed up to alert them to the danger and mouthed the word grounders to them. They all stared up at the ceiling as though at any moment a grounders face would be able to appear through the solid steel exterior.

After a moment, an indiscernible look crossed Murphy’s face and he took off to the bedroom. He knelt down beside Emerson and pulled his jacket and shirt up in the back and over his head. Emerson opened his mouth to protest but Murphy pressed a blade into the back of his neck, “One sound, and I will end you” he threatened.

Raven came to the door after him, “what are you doing?” she demanded.

“The other was too easy to find. It was a decoy” he said as he ran his fingers over Emerson’s skin. He stopped when he felt a small bump near his shoulder blade. He flipped his knife around and made a small slit in his flesh and pushed the tiny device out.

“Shit” Raven cursed under her breath.

Murphy grabbed the GPS device and took off to the main room. He had a foot on the ladder when Bellamy’s large hand fell onto his shoulder, holding him down.

“Are you _trying_ to get us all killed” he accused just above a whisper

“No, but we have to get this out of here” he said pinching the device between his fingers. Murphy climbed the ladder quietly, then carefully unlocked the door and pushed it up two inches. He peered through the crack until he was satisfied that the grounders hadn’t reached them yet. He pushed the door open then threw the tiny metal piece as far as he could.

Murphy slowly closed the hatch, careful not to allow any unnecessary noise to be imitated from the action. He locked the hatch then climbed back into the bunker.

Everyone stared through the dark at each other, no one speaking a word. Bellamy gave Murphy a nod of approval, then looked up above them.

They remained silent, eyes gazing up above them for what felt like hours. Each of them too scared to move, or speak. The anticipation of the grounders barging in and finding them drove an untamable fear through all of them. Eventually Clarke gave up, the anticipation weighing too heavily. She knew, as well as the others, that if the grounders _did_ find them in the bunker…they wouldn’t be able to escape. She headed into the empty bedroom and lay down on the bed. Bellamy’s eyes followed her, plagued at first with fear/betrayal as she neared the bedrooms. Then eased into discomfort after she moved into the room opposite Emerson. His eyes moved back to the ceiling. He was sure it had been at least an hour since Murphy had thrown the GPS out of the bunker. Surely if the grounders knew about the bunker, they would have been inside it by now.

Bellamy glanced at Murphy, then Miller before he eased himself up the ladder. He slowly unlocked the hatch and pushed it open with a dreadful hesitance. He took a deep breath, as if it were his last, before he poked his head out of the bunker. Sunshine sprayed down on him, providing him with instant warmth. He squinted his eyes in the newfound light to search the surrounding area.

No sign of grounders

He climbed back down and relocked the hatch before dropping to the ground.

“They’re still out there?” Raven questioned looking exasperated.

Bellamy shook his head, “No, but we should stay another night down here to give them plenty of time to get far away from us”

They nodded. Bellamy glanced back at the closed door that held Emerson behind it. “In the meantime, we can handle _that_ situation” he tilted his head to the bedroom “so we don’t have to bring it with us”.

Miller nodded in agreement, Murphy stared back at him with a quizitive expression. Bellamy and Miller headed to the room while Murphy’s gaze followed. Raven shrugged and plopped down on a nearby chair. Murphy hesitated momentarily before following the others. He paused briefly and glanced through the other bedroom door at Clarke’s sleeping form.

Bellamy stood by with his arms cross over his chest while Miller pulled Emerson to his feet. He pulled the rope from his ankles and circled over his handcuffed wrists, then found a notch near the ceiling and stood on the dresser to pull the rope through it. The more he pulled the rope, the higher Emerson’s arms raised above his head. Miller pulled until his arms were stretched all the way upwards, and then tied off the rope. Bellamy continued to glare at Emerson the entire time.

“What were you doing with the grounders?” he demanded

Emerson gleamed at him, “I went to them to make a trade for Clarke” he smiled “but when we got back to hand her over, she wasn’t there…I suppose I have _you_ to thank for that?”

It seemed impossible, but Bellamy’s face grew even harder. The muscle in his jaw ticked and ground his teeth together. It took every ounce of self-control that he had not to beat Emerson to death in that moment, but somehow he found the strength to control himself.

“You were just going to give her to them?” he growled so low that it was barely audible.

Emerson’s evil smile grew, “I was tired of her, and I need some assurance of safety with the grounders”

“They were more than happy to make a deal with the person responsible for TonDC…and so _close_ to Lexa” he sneered.

Vibrations shot through Bellamy’s jaw as he ground his teeth even harder. His hands balled into fists where they lay over his chest.

“So they imprisoned you when couldn’t deliver her?” he growled

“No” Emerson’s smile faltered ever so slightly, “They imprisoned me after I helped them catch all of you”

Murphy’s brows drew together, “that was weeks ago, you don’t look like you’ve been a prisoner of theirs that long”

“Well it seems you escaped and removed your trackers, so they kept me around to ensure the radio call worked. I never told them that you had figured it out”

“How do _you_ know what we figured out” Bellamy challenged

“Because _I_ know that your people stop at nothing if you think another one of you is in danger. If you hadn’t figured out the call, you would still be trying to save your people”

“So radios and GPS, that’s what you showed them” Bellamy growled

“If I answer that, I’m a dead man” Emerson smiled

“You’re a dead man-either way” Bellamy growled stepping chest to chest with him.

“I don’t see it that way” Emerson glowered. At the last breath of his last word Bellamy’s fist pummeled into his stomach forcing any air from his lungs. He landed four more powerful blows before stopping. He grabbed Emerson by the back of his head and growled in his ear. “Tell me, or don’t. But it’s my mission in life to deliver every bout of torture you used on her back on you. Every punch, every lashing…everything. Until your body finally gives in and you die…then I’m going to leave you for the animals”

Bellamy pulled away forceful, his threat out there for everyone to hear.

Emerson let out a sinister laugh, “you have no idea _what_ I did to her. And even if you did, there’s one big difference” he beamed then stared straight into Bellamy’s eyes, “She. Wanted. It” he boasted, “and even now, whenever I get out of here, she’d let me do it all over again” Bellamy's blood rushed to his fist that balled so tightly at his sides that he nearly drew his own blood

“She deserved it, and she knows it” Bellamy could no longer control himself and his fist slammed into the side of Emerson’s jaw. He saw red, his fist continued to plow into him until he felt himself being pulled off of him.

Miller and Murphy struggled to keep Bellamy at bay. “Get off me!” he screamed at them breaking his arms free with one powerful gesture. Bellamy got one step back to Emerson when Clarke stepped in front of him. Her eyes roamed over him quickly, pausing over his bloodied knuckles.

“Enough” she said.

“Get out of my way Clarke” he growled, but she stood firm.

“You’re not going to get any information out of him if you kill him” she rationalized.

“I don’t give a damn about intel right now” he growled, grabbing her shoulder and pushing her as gently has he could at the moment, to the side. But like a yo-yo she bounced right back. “That’s why you need to walk away” she said calmly. As much as Bellamy wanted to kill Emerson, he didn’t want to do it in front of Clarke. And one small part of his plan, which he hadn’t revealed to anyone…was that he _wanted_ it to be slow. He _wanted_ to do every sick, demented thing that Emerson had done to Clarke back onto him.

He knew, in order to do that, Clarke could not be around for it. So, with much frustration, he left the room.

Clarke released the breath she’d been holding. Miller followed Bellamy out of the room, and Murphy stared at Clarke. There was an uncharacteristic emotion spreading through Murphy like wildfire, and it left Clarke baffled. Bellamy returned to the room and grabbed Clarke by her upper arm, yanking her from the room. Murphy followed, shutting the door behind him. Bellamy pulled Clarke into the other room, slamming the door behind him.

“Enough” he warned. She stared at him in confusion.

“You know exactly what I mean Clarke” he warned again “stay away from him”

“Don’t try to kill him” she shot back

“And why shouldn’t I Clarke? He tortured you, he set a trap for our people, he’s taught the grounders God knows what”

“Exactly- you don’t know _what_ he’s taught them. If you _kill_ him-we never will”

He took a threatening step towards her, “so you’re telling me this has _nothing_ to do with th-”

Murphy swung the door open and stepped into the room inheriting a death-glare from Bellamy.

“Somebody want to tell me what they hell _that_ was all about?” he asked.

“Get out Murphy” Bellamy growled and shoved Murphy out of the room. He slammed the door behind him, flipping the lock then spun back around to Clarke. Murphy’s banging and muffled threats drowned out of the room with each step Bellamy took towards Clarke.

“What happened?” his throaty voice cut through the palpable tension in the room.

“What?” she replied with confusion

“Tell.Me.What.Happened” he ground out. His words only met with confusion within Clarke

“IN THE MOUNTAIN!” he yelled grabbing her shoulder

“So you can do it to him?” Clarke asked in a low tone after a few minutes. Bellamy’s chest heaved heavily with each breath her took.

“Yes Clarke” he said bluntly “So I can do it to him”


	44. Knowledge Isn't Always Power

Bellamy and Clarke had engaged in a long silent stand off after his declaration. Clarke’s face veiled with disbelief while Bellamy's had his determination etched into it. There was a loud bang at the door then it swung open. Murphy moved across the room quickly.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on, but you’re too unhinged to be locked in a room with her” Murphy gave Clarke a gentle shove out of the room. “Besides, you’re makin me the chivalrous one which _really_ isn’t my thing” he quipped with a smirk.

Clarke stopped moving in front of Bellamy, “what he did to me…was the actions of a man that lost everything…. You do that to him…its retribution”

Bellamy’s hand clasped around Clarkes arm pulling her into his chest. “Damn right its retribution” he snapped in a gravelly voice “One he brought on himself”

Clarke’s glassy eyes stared up at his cold ones. “That’s not who you are Bellamy” she said just above a whisper.

He moved his lips to her ear, “and letting someone beat you to death isn’t who _you_ are” he whispered into her ear. Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat and he released her arm and walked out of the room.

“You gonna share what happen with you and the mountain guy?” Murphy asked with a smirk

Clarke’s eyes only met his momentarily before dropping to the floor. “Oookay” he said after some time of awkward silence. He turned and left the room, abandoning Clarke to her own thoughts and reacquainted demons.

Another hour passed, Bellamy calmed himself…somewhat. He opened the door to the room with Emerson, Murphy followed while Miller and Raven were fast asleep.

“Back for more?” Emerson gleamed, “Clarke always was”

Bellamy ground down on his teeth; he knew Emerson was baiting him. He refused to give into such trickery; he had to be the one in control.

“GPS and radios, what else did you teach them” Bellamy asked with a new-found sense of calm. Emerson remained quiet.

Bellamy interrogated Emerson for another half hour, with no success.

“What else do they know?” he prodded for the umpteenth time. Bellamy groaned in frustration when Emerson continued to withhold any information.

“Didn’t you say he was a guard there?” Murphy questioned.

“yea.So” Bellamy snapped back with aggravation

“Soo…you know as well as anybody that _guards_ don’t know anything” Murphy said in a condescending tone. Bellamy gave him an annoyed look knowing it was a jab at him.

Murphy rolled his eyes, “radios, GPS, and guns…which are useless to the grounders. He’s a _guard_ what else could he have possibly taught them”

Once the full gravity of Murphy’s words sunk in, Bellamy relaxed.

“I know more than that” Emerson injected causing both men to look at him skeptically.

“I know how to break you” Emerson boasted with a sadistic smile “I know what your blood feels like when it splatters across my face, I know what your flesh smells like when a burn into it. I know how easy it is to carve into your flesh too. I know what happens to your body without food for weeks, how each area around the ribs dips in further each day. I know how to imprint every one of my people’s names so deep inside you that they will never be forgotten. I know the look in your eyes when you give up and give yourself completely over to your enemy. I know how to push you so far that you won’t _beg_ for death because you can’t take the excruciating amount of pain anymore, but because you don’t want to _live_ with yourself anymore.”

The air encompassing Bellamy grew heavier with each breath, until each inspiration filled his lungs with the weight of dried cement. Disturbing Images of Clarke swarmed through his head and plummeted into his heart. Memories of what she looked like when he found her flooded through him. He had memorized every cut, bruise, and laceration on her body. Now visions of how she obtained those injuries tormented him with undeniable anguish for what she went through.

The images were so powerful that he couldn’t bring himself to be angry or lash out at Emerson. He tore out of the room and into the other.

He needed to see her.

He needed to feel her.

He needed to reassure himself that she was alive.

He pulled her into his arms, shoving her deep into his chest. His embrace was smothering, but he couldn’t get close enough. One of his arms wrapped around her waist while the other held her head tight against him. Every muscle in his arms contracted around her.

She didn’t object, just fell into his embrace. The unspoken need he had was communicated clearly through his actions.

Eventually he needed to look at her. He grabbed her face in both hands and pulled her back just enough so that he could see her face. He leaned his forehead to hers, his head shaking in slow motion, side to side. He stared into her, a look filled with desperation for her to deny it all, to erase every image skimming through his head. But the more he stared into the more real and true it all became. The ghosts and regrets he thought she had banished out of her, were staring back at him. The pain and self-loathing was inescapably evident in her eyes.

It was too much.

He needed to change it…remove it.

He needed the clear blue eyes he knew so well before mount weather….before Finn, to return. He pressed his lips to hers in an uncanny desperation. It wasn’t hard or hungry like the other kisses he had given her, but it was demanding in its own right. While it was gentle, it still pleaded with her to free him from the new knowledge that resided within him. To prove she was safe, she was with him, and everything else was a lie.

The warmth of her mouth proved to him she was alive which encouraged his tongue to part through her lips. His hands tangled in her hair on the sides of her head, his grip keeping her attached closely to him. Every few seconds he broke the kiss to once again stare at her, as if she may disappear if he didn’t.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled into her mouth.

The words took Clarke by surprise. Bellamy wasn’t one to apologize, and the sincerity behind his words emanated the truth witnin them.

“I’m so sorry Clarke” he breathed between kisses. Clarke tried to pull back from him to investigate the impromptu apology, but he had her in a vice grip latching her onto him. After a few more kisses he rested his forehead against hers again.

“I should have searched for you, I should have-” he was stopped by Clarkes fingers covering her mouth as she “shhh”ed him. She tried to speak but his mouth claimed hers again before she could.

He didn’t want her words. He knew all too well what they would be, and he didn’t want to hear them. The only thing he wanted was to feel her, to keep her close to him right now. He needed that more than he needed the oxygen for his next breath.

He slowly kissed down her neck, melting her into him, rendering her useless to use the words he loathed against him. He kicked the door shut and guided her to the bed, disrobing her gently as they went. The urgency of their previous encounters wasn’t there.

He wanted this to last.

He needed it to.

Sex in this form was foreign to him, but then again. Each time with Clarke had been different than any other time with any other girl. But this time….this time there were more emotions expressed physically then he could ever find words for verbally.

He guided Clarke’s body gently to the bed, leaving a trail of kisses burning across her. When he entered her, it was slow and drawn out. Her eyes clamped shut as her head tossed back and she arched into him. His hips froze and he gently cupped her face “look at me” he commanded softly. He needed to see her. He needed to fill her beautiful blue eyes with something other than the emotions that haunted her. He needed to rid the ghosts that shadowed her.

Once her eyes locked back on his he moved methodically slow in and out of her. She struggled at first to keep her eyes open; every time they closed he stopped until they reopened.

The images and nightmarish memories of the battered and beaten Clarke left his mind. They were replaced by the current look of her face. His fears and terrifying thoughts of what had been done to her slowly disintegrated. As the horrifying images and thoughts that plagued his mind evaporated he was left with only the pleasure of the moment. He reveled in every noise that came out of her. Each one erasing the words Emerson used to tear into him.

Once his mind was fee, he realized what he was doing.

This time _was_ different.

This wasn’t a fuck. It wasn’t a desperate act of possession. He wasn’t claiming her, or marking his territory. He wasn’t pleading with her to stay.

He was doing something he had never done before.

He was making love to her.

 


	45. A New First

Bellamy’s eyes opened and were greeted by Clarke’s. The look she gave him was different than any he had seen before. His arms were still wrapped tightly around her and he drew her closer into him. The words he wanted to say evaded him in this peaceful moment. The reality surrounding them was closing in on him.  He could hear Murphy and Miller shouting angrily at one another through the door. However, the bliss of the moment didn’t escape him. He rested his chin on the top of her head as his thumbs rubbed circles on her sides.

A loud crash broke the moment, “we should get out there before they kill each other” Clarke said withdrawing from his embrace. Bellamy cast one last glance over her before following her out of the bed.

The dressed in silence, Bellamy unabashedly looking at her while Clarke blushingly everted her eyes.

Just as they finished Raven plowed through the door. “You better be decent because those idiots are gonna kill each other” she declared with her eyes partially covered by her hand. Her hand fell from her face as she noticed they were dressed. Bellamy took off into the other room with the girls in tow.

“What the hell are you arguing about!” he demanded causing both men to stop their incessant shouting and look at him.

“ _Murphy_ thinks its okay to go out and hunt” Miller snarled

“ _No_ ” Murphy mocked, “I think it’s best if we done STARVE!” he retorted. Miller was instantly ready to pounce on him.

“Is there anything you two _won’t_ fight about?” Raven quipped, receiving a glare from both of them.

“Murphy’s right” Bellamy declared. Miller shot him a look of disbelief “You told us to stay inside” he questioned.

“For another night” Bellamy explained “It has to be morning by now, the grounders should be long gone. We’ll need to eat for the journey back to camp”

Murphy gave Miller a snarky look and snatched his gun back from Miller’s grasp. “I’ll take that” he snipped.

Miller gave Murphy a look of death as he watched him climb out of the bunker.

“He’s probably gonna poison whatever he catches” he snarked under his breath. Bellamy crossed his arms over his broad chest, “then go with him”

Miller stared at Bellamy, contemplating a protest, but inevitably climbed out of the bunker.

Bellamy’s eyes glanced back at the closed door to the other room. “He’s still in there” Raven assured him “alive” she added.

“Not for long” he muttered under his breath.

Clarkes hand wrapped over his forearm, “you can’t kill him Bellamy” she said softly.

Before Bellamy could get a word in, Raven interjected her thoughts “I don’t understand you Clarke” she took a step closer and gestured to the door “he tortured you, we all saw what you looked like when Bellamy found you. Hell we _thought_ you were dead for hours!” Ravens hands flew into the air “and you don’t want _him_ dead?!”

“I killed his people Raven” Clarke explained “all of them”

“We” Bellamy snapped “ _We_ killed them”

Clarke’s eyes shot to his conveying her doubt in his statement. While she appreciated the sentiment, they both knew it was her idea…her damnation.

Bellamy straightens himself and turned to face her, standing tall. “He _is_ going to die Clarke. _I am_ going to kill him. The sooner you get on board, the better” with that he left them.

Clarke knew the tone he used, she knew objecting or fighting him over it was useless. The only way she could change his plan was to get Emerson away from him. Her intentions were equally protective towards both men. Emerson held a resounding place within her, the last to survive the massacre she executed. However, she also knew that if Bellamy killed him…he would never be the same. While it is true Bellamy had killed many since landing on Earth, this kill would be different. The others were always in battle, this would be vengeful murder. She knew he wouldn’t walk away from such an act without it permanently scaring him…changing him.

Ravens eyes raked over Clarke before following Bellamy up the ladder, she paused at the last step “it’s the right thing to do Clarke” she paused “maybe you can’t see that right now, but you will” she finished then climbed all the way out.

Clarke stood for a moment then dashed into Emerson’s room. The look he gave her was filled with detest, but for the moment, at least, he kept his cruel words to himself. She carefully untied him.

“They’ve gone hunting, you need to leave” she said then crossed the room to find the discarded handcuffed key on the floor. She pushed the key into the lock and a faint click let her know the handcuffs were unlocked. They fell to the floor and with that his hands were freed. The instant the metal hit the floor his hand wrapped around her throat and shoved her into the wall.

“I should have killed you in the same place you killed all of them” his fingers tightened around her throat “you still remember their names?” he asked with a menacing look in his eyes.

Clarke’s body thrashed as is begged for air, Emerson’s fingers slowly latched tighter around her throat. Emerson gripped onto her, lifting her up as her feet dangled just off the floor. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she fought internally with the decision to fight against him, or allow him his revenge.

She wasn’t granted the opportunity to make the decision. She barely saw what made Emerson fall to the ground, but Murphy came into view.

“Thought you might do something dumb” he shrugged as Clarke struggled to regain control of her breathing. Murphy made quick work of re-tying Emerson and pushing him against the wall. Clarke didn’t know how to respond, just looked on…dumbfounded.

“You might want to zip that up if you don’t want Bellamy to know about this” he said nonchalantly nodding to her zipper.

Clarke’s fingers traced over the skin of her neck that Emerson had, only seconds ago held her by.

It was tender… no-doubly bruising. Clarke quickly pulled the zipper up, still unsure of how to react or speak to Murphy.

He ushered her out of the room and closed the door behind them. He motioned for her to walk ahead of him, obviously wanting her to go outside with the rest of the group. She eyed him carefully before obliging. She had one hand on the ladder when Murphy’s fell onto her shoulder.

“I’m not Bellamy. That guy” he gestured back to the room, “is only alive because I get there’s more to this then I know about. Make no mistake though, another moment like that” he raised his brows stepping into her “and he will be dead”

Clarke’s eyes dropped to the ground as she thought, then met back with his. She gave him a kirk nod then pulled onto the ladder.

Clarke climbed out of the bunker, with Murphy in tow only to be greeted by the others standing around the entrance. Their eyes wide and glowing with excitement. Clarke and Murphy followed their gaze to find little white specs gently falling to the forest floor. Clarke held out her open palm and tried to catch the mysterious white specs, but it melted in her palm.

“Snow” Raven said in slight disbelief, still in awe of the delicate white that rained down on them.

“What does it mean?” Clarke asked, her eyes absorbing the beauty that surrounded them.

“It means it’s too cold to travel” Bellamy said gruffly. While he had been taken back by the snow at first, the reality of it overshadowed the glory…much like everything on earth. He knew that even though the snow was magnificent…it was also a new burden and would make their journey a lot more difficult.

“We can’t stay here!” Murphy exclaimed.

“You got a better idea?” Bellamy challenged “Snow means it’s too cold for rain, at this rate it will cover the ground by afternoon. Its two days walk back to camp; we’ll freeze by the first night.”

“And we _won’t_ freeze in an underground bunker?” Murphy snarked back at him

“It’s the only shelter we have” Bellamy replied plainly.

Bellamy shifted his eyes to Miller, “we need to hunt, gather as much food as we can.” He turned to Clarke “we need to get as much water as we can too, if the stream isn’t already frozen over”

“A heat source” Raven thought out loud, her eyes slowly rising to meet the others “the bunker. They would have had to have a heat source in there. Knowing they would be spending a long time in there, it would have been built in”

“Good” Bellamy gave her an approving nod, “see if you can find it and get it up and running. I’ll hunt with Miller. Murphy” he turned to him, “go with Clarke, and get as much water as you can carry”

“How long do you think we’ll be down there?” Clarke questioned

“I don’t know, but we need to be prepared” he replied then left with Miller.

Murphy hoped back into the bunker and started passing containers up to Clarke. Soon they were off.

The walk to the stream felt like longer than the last, the uncomfortable silence between Clarke and Murphy was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Murphy continuously glanced over at her, as if willing her to speak on her own, but she never did.

“So you want to tell me what happened with that guy?” he questioned as the kneeled down by the stream.

“What guy?” Clarke’s poor attempt to play dumb did not go over well with him

“Oh. I don’t know…maybe the guy that was seconds from strangling you to death earlier…I can see how _that_ would be hard to remember….not like it was a major life event or anything” he mocked while dipping his container into the stream.

“We’ve all nearly died countless time” she shrugged

He shot an annoyed look at her, but her back was facing him so it didn’t go far.

“Yeah…but only one of us almost died today” he shot back. Clarke sighed, screwing the cap onto her last bottle and rising to her feet.

“It was nothing”

Murphy jumped next to her and fell into step as they turned to walk back to the bunker.

“Kinda looked like something” he half joked with his cocky smile.

“He’s the only one” she said quietly her eyes shooting around. She cast a sideways glance at Murphy, “he’s the only one that I didn’t kill”. Her eyes shot back in front of her, unwilling or wanting to see whatever expression may fall on his face.

However, Murphy’s usual crooked smile remained in place. “So that’s why you don’t want to kill him? Because you feel guilty” Clarke swallowed the words hard then replied “yes”

They continued on in silence until they were only a hundred feet from the bunker, Murphy moved into Clarke’s path forcing her to stop. “I get the whole quilt thing, but what I don’t get is why everyone else would be so against it”

“ _Everyone else_ didn’t kill all of his people” Clarke replied with a layer of self-loathing. She moved around him, but he shot out an arm to stop her.

“Maybe not, but then explain this to me” he took a step closer and lowered his voice “why would _Bellamy_ run out of a room straight to you after hearing that guy talk about knowing how to destroy our people” he stepped all the way into her, their shoulders now brushing, “he’s not exactly the kind of guy who runs from threats” Murphy’s eyes found hers briefly, then he turned and headed to the bunker.


	46. Hunker Down

“We need to get inside, the snow is already covering the ground” Bellamy said observing the thick white blanket quickly covering the ground. They nodded and each filed into the bunker.

“How long will it last?” Miller asked as they settled into the living room.

Bellamy shrugged, “Earth skills didn’t go that far into it, we’ll have to wait it out”

They heard a loud thump emanate from the back of the bunker, causing them to instinctively jump to their feet in defense.

“Got it!” Raven boasted. A roaring sound encompassed them and they’re eyes shot around at the walls of the bunker. “Is it supposed to sound like that?” Murphy questioned, as they were all uneasy about the foreign noise. “Or are you gonna blow us all up?”

Raven shot him a nasty look, “it hasn’t been turned on in over a hundred years…you’d make some noise too”

After a few minutes the noise eased and they settled around the room.   
“And what should we do about him” Miller questioned tilting his head to the bedroom. Bellamy's eyes followed the motion and paused before he answered. “For now, he stays back there”

“And at night?” Raven challenged “I really don’t want to wake up to him killing me”

“If he kills you…you won’t wake up” Murphy replied with a crooked grin. The look Raven gave him, should have killed him on the spot, “just sayin’” he shrugged.

“We’ll figure something out” Bellamy replied dismissing their bickering.

“If we can’t kill him, let’s throw him out. Who knows how long we’ll be stuck down here. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to be trapped in here with a killer, and besides there’s not enough room for us all” Raven replied.

“He’s not the only killer in here” Clarke added with an icy tone. Her words froze them and left a chill in the room. The uncomfortable silence encompassed them, filling them with awkward internal debated on what the appropriate comment to say was.   
Raven was the first to decide to reroute the group’s emotions,

“True” she turned her head to Murphy “We should throw Murphy out too”

Murphy sneered back at her, “I think we’ve _all_ got a few kills under our belts”

“Only _one_ of us killed our own” She shot back without hesitation.

“You sure about that?” he challenged then eyed Bellamy, “cause if memory services right _Bellamy_ killed Dax”

“ _Bellamy_ ” she drew out “killed him in self defense- _not_ in cold blood…unlike you”

“They tied a noose around my neck and hung me from a tree! How is _that_ not self-defense?” he challenged

“Because they weren’t doing it at the time! Besides, if you hadn’t been such an ass no one would have thought you killed Wells!” She snapped back at him.

“Enough!” Bellamy shouted, but not fast enough. Clarke was already on her feet and speaking “and _I_ let a bomb drop on a dozen of our people- so if anyone here is the cold blooded murder you want to throw out in the cold- then it-”

 Bellamy jumped in front of her, “Enough” he said slowly in an authoritative tone.  He turned around to face the others “ _No_ _one_ is leaving” he added leaving no room for discussion.

“Instead of attacking each other, why don’t we figure out how we’re going to deal with Jaha” he redirected the conversation while sitting back in his chair at the table. He knew _this_ may be the only topic that would be free from scrutiny, or lead them to begin another fight.

“Kill him” Murphy shrugged.

 _So much for a neutral topic_ Bellamy thought to himself

“Is that you’re solution to everything?” Miller asked Murphy condescendingly.

“When it’s the obvious choice” Murphy replied plainly.

Bellamy rolled his eyes with irritation at the inconstant bickering between them, “We aren’t killing Jaha” he sighed out.

“So you’d rather have him launch another nuke and destroy the world…again” Murphy shot back

Bellamy’s arms crossed on the table, while he leaned over it to Murphy sitting across from him, “No”

“Well then, _fearless leader_ , what do you suggest we do” Murphy mocked with a cocky grin.

“I _suggest_ yo-” Bellamy’s reply was interrupted by a loud thump coming from the bedroom, followed by a few more. All eyes shot to the room. Bellamy, Murphy and Miller instantly were on their feet and outside the door. Bellamy looked back at the others then counted to three on his fingers slowly before slamming the door open.  The men stormed into the room with the girls hot on their heels, each apprehensive with what they may find.

Emerson’s fist smashed into Bellamy’s jaw the second he entered the room. The blow fueled Bellamy’s ever rising anger towards him and he easily tackled him to the wall, shoving his forearm into Emerson’s throat to hold him in place. Miller and Murphy each caught hold of one of Emerson’s arms then splayed them out on the wall. Raven spotted the previously discarded handcuffs across the room and she raced to grab them. She handed them off to the breathless Bellamy who was now pinning Emerson to the wall only by his shirt. He took the opportunity to crush his fist into Emerson’s gut, forcing the air from his lungs and emitting a grunt from him. Miller took the handcuffs and he and Murphy re-constrained Emerson’s wrists behind him.

“How the hell did he get those off!?” Bellamy demanded, using everything in him to reel in his rage for this man.

Murphy’s eyes caught Clarkes and shared a brief look that didn’t go unnoticed by Raven.

“Oh, don’t you know-” Emerson’s words were cut short by Murphy’s fist slamming into his gut causing him to double over in pain.

Bellamy shot a look to Murphy, who dismissed it with a shrug “he moved”

“He’s handcuffed” Bellamy shot back

“Knee-jerk reaction” Murphy dismissed again

“Millers still holding him” Bellamy demanded

Murphy blew out a breath, “I hit him, wha-”

Emerson slowly built a cruel laugh within him through the pain, his head slowly rising. “You don’t even know” he laughed evilly looking at Bellamy. “sh-” Murphy dealt another blow to Emerson silencing him once again.

Bellamy’s eyes burned into him while he ground his teeth, Murphy noticed everyone was looking at him questioningly….everyone except Clarke. He looked around at all of them. This time, Bellamy noticed when their look lingered a little too long, a hidden meaning lingering behind it.

 “What’s going on?” he growled

“Didn’t realize you wanted a meaningful conversation with him, maybe we should leave the two of you alone to use the handcuffs in other ways” Murphy smiled, his eyes realigning with Bellamy’s.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, then glared at Miller “Miller tie him up-tight this time” He demanded

Murphy kicked the back of Emerson’s knees, sending him pummeling to the ground. Murphy held him down while Miller tied his ankles together, and then tied the wrap up and around his wrists. Once they were satisfied with the hog tie they had placed Emerson in they all filed out of the room.

Raven pulled Clarke into the other room unbeknownst to the guys.

“What was that?” She asked accusingly

“What was what?” Clarke asked dumbfounded

Raven cocked her head to the side and folded her arms over her chest, leaning her weight on her right leg. Every inch of her body conveyed that she was in no mood to play the game of secrets Clarke was setting up between them. Clarke stared back at her momentarily, and then tuned to leave “it’s nothing Raven”. Raven reached out and turned Clarke back to face her, “may not, but if you think _Murphy_ is the person you’ve decided to lean on right now…then either you’ve completely lost it or whatever you’re hiding it’s seriously messed up” with that Raven brushed passed her and walked into the living room.

The group spent the next few hours in the living room each, mostly, keeping to themselves.  Exhaustion combined with boredom left the group tired and ready to sleep.

“So how are we going to work the sleeping arrangements with him here?” Miller asked Bellamy, nodding to the bedroom where Emerson was tied up.

Bellamy took a moment to consider the options before answering. “The back rooms have locks on the inside. We’ll move him out here, and we’ll take the rooms- and lock ourselves in…just in case he manages to get free again”

“I don’t think _that_ will be a problem again” Murphy mumbled with a pointed look at Clarke.

Bellamy’s eyes jumped between the two, analyzing the non-verbal conversation they seemed to be having, and “something you wanna share?” he asked Murphy with narrowed brows.

“Nah” Murphy answered with a downward smirk “Just think Miller learned how to use the handcuffs the _right_ way this time”

Miller ground his teeth and he stepped toward Murphy in a threatening manor until Bellamy’s arm swung out and stopped him. “Go get him and bring him out here” he ordered to Miller over his shoulder “Tie him to the pole” he said, tilting his head to the steel pole that ran through the bunker in the far corner of the room.

Miller gave Murphy one more glare then disappeared into the back room. He reappeared, dragging a struggling Emerson behind him. “A little help” he growled at Murphy as Emerson fought against his hold. Murphy aided Miller in dragging Emerson to the pole and securing the rope around the pole and his current rope binding him.

“Tell me again why he’s still alive?” Miller asked as he tied off the last of the rope and Emerson threw what little body weight he could against him causing Miller to momentarily lost his balance.

“Yes-why am I alive?” Emerson antagonized with a glare to Clarke, “you murdered all my _people_ -you’ve killed hundreds of grounders. It’s not like you have a conscious…so what’s keeping _you”_ his eyes narrowed on Clarke “from killing me?”

“Shut up” Bellamy snapped at him while kicking him half-force on his leg.

“You three take the room on the left” He ordered to Raven, Murphy, and Miller. “We’ll take the one on the right”

“Yeah-I’ll take the couch” Murphy replied.

“Fine by me” Raven responded and headed to the back, Miller following as they shared a few comments between themselves too low for the others to hear.

Bellamy’s brows drew together as his eyes locked on Murphy settling into the couch with his arms propped under his head. Murphy caught the threatening confused look on Bellamy’s face “Problem?”

“Curious that _you_ are offering to guard him” Bellamy said in an accusatory tone

“I just don’t want to share a bed with those two” Murphy replied nonchalantly, and then raised a brow, “Unless you want to sleep on the couch and I’ll go with the Princess” he said with a cocky grin.

Bellamy look turned disapproving and he glanced at Clarke, using his eyes to point back to their room until she complied with the gesture. He followed her into the small room, locking the door behind them.

They were silent as he disrobed from his outer layers and shoes, and Clarke pulled her boots off. She climbed into the bed while Bellamy pulled his shirt off. “Arent you going to be warm in that?” he questioned nodding to her jacket that was still on and zipped up. She shook her head.

He climbed in next her, splaying out on his back with his far arm under his head.

“You okay?” he asked as he turned his head to look at her. He knew Emerson’s cruel words were resonating within her, gnawing at her. She shifted her eyes, unable to look directly at him.

“I’m fine” she replied shortly. Bellamy returned her words with a veil of disbelief across his face.

“I’m okay” she attempted to reassure him again, still shifting under his eyes. His eyes raked over her, “we both know you aren’t. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s one thing” he finally caught her eyes before continuing, “just don’t lie”. She held his gaze for a while then nodded apologetically conceding to him.

Bellamy turned his face back to the ceiling and quickly fell asleep. Clarke gazed at him, everything inside her screaming at her to move to him. To hold onto him and allow all the emotions that usually flood into her whenever they touch intimately to block out the part of her that doesn’t want to let those emotions in. Bellamy was a safety blanket for her, one she longed for, and ran from all at the same time. Her hand reached out and ghosted over his bare chest, her fingers tingling with the longing to feel his warm skin under them. Her heart ached for the shielding comfort he always provided her with.

She withdrew her hand as if the position so close to him seared her fingers when she remembered everything she momentarily forgot. _I can’t do this_ she thought to herself. She shook her head, as if she would be able to shake the thoughts and feelings swarming within it out. She gingerly climbed out of the bed, her eyes locked on Bellamy’s closed ones ensuring he remained asleep. She quietly pulled her boots over her feet, then slunk her arms into her jacket. One more glance at Bellamy then she padded cautiously to the door. She watched him as she slowly turned the lock and it made a small click. Once assured that he was still sleeping she pulled the door open and crept out, closing the door behind her.


	47. Burdens Undivived

Murphy had left one of the smaller flashlights on, so Clarke was able to make out just enough of the room to make her way safety across it. She had both hands and a foot on the ladder when Murphy’s voice cut through the dark.

“Out for a stroll Princess?” Murphy asked accusingly from his position on the couch.

Clarke sighed, “why aren’t you sleeping?” she shot at him

“Why aren’t you?” he shot back

“Be quiet before you wake anyone” she yelled in a hushed tone.

“Shouldn’t I be waking them?” He asked condescendingly with a raised brow.

“No” she replied flatly.

Murphy sat up, eyes still locked on her. “The thing is..I know how this plays out. You-” he pointed his clasped together hands at her, “go off and get hurt, or captured, or whatever…While I” he pointed his hands at himself, “am left with the blame”

Clarke glared at him, “I’m not going to get hurt, I just need to-”

“Toooo…what? Find a path to send him on to save him?” he said tilting his head to Emerson’s sleeping body.

“I wasn’t-” Clarke began to object, but Murphy interrupted her again.

“Look princess…I may be a lot of things, but I’m not an idiot. I slept out here for a reason”

“And what _reason_ would that be?” Bellamy’s low throating voice cut through the rising tension between the two.

Murphy’s eyes darted to Bellamy, then back to Clarke, before landing on Bellamy again.   
“Just didn’t want to sleep with Miller” he dismissed

Bellamy eyed him, before glancing over at Clarke who still held onto the ladder.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes narrowing

Clarke released the ladder and pulled her foot off it, retreating from the ladder completely.

“What’s going on here?” he demanded, his eyes shifting between the two attempting to determine the situation before him.

After a few silent moments, Murphy responded. “Clarke didn’t believe me when I told her the snow would be gone by now. So she was proved me wrong” Murphy looked over at Bellamy.

Bellamy looked at Clarke, “is that what happened?” he asked

She gave a kirk nod. Bellamy held his gaze for longer than what was comfortable for her. “why don’t you get some sleep then?” he told her. Clarke gave another nod then moved back into the room she had abandoned. Bellamy followed, but closed the door and moved back to Murphy.

“What _really_ happened?” he demanded in a hushed tone.

Murphy gave him a questioning look

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “the snow would have fallen in if the latch was opened” he gestured to the dry floor beneath the ladder, “obviously that wasn’t what happened- so I suggest you tell me what _actually_ did”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Murphy replied coolly.

Bellamy’s arms crossed over his chest as his head dropped to the side, conveying his disbelief and expectantly looking at Murphy.

Murphy breathed in heavily and rolled his eyes away from Bellamy’s.

“Princess just wanted to look at the snow” he shrugged.

The muscle in Bellamy’s jaw twitched as he ground down on his teeth. His body hardened as he closed the distance between them.  His thoughts went unspoken as he glared down at Murphy, waiting for the response he wanted.

Murphy looked up at him, “Something else?” he sneered

“You’re lying” Bellamy replied bluntly, his intimidating physique hovering over Murphy.

“I am?” Murphy questioned.

Bellamy held his glare; he was in no mood for Murphy’s games.

After a long glance Murphy realized this confrontation wasn’t going to end without him fessing up..his only options now were to speak now, or wait until Bellamy beat it out of him.

“I don’t know what she was doing” he sighed and glanced up at Bellamy, “I woke up when she came out of the room and I stopped her when she got on the ladder” he confessed.

Bellamy drew in a long breath and glanced around the room, as if the answer to Clarke’s behavior would reveal itself. A thought crossed his mind and his eyes drew sharply back on Murphy, “so why did you feel the need to sleep out here?”

Murphy bit down on his lip, forcing back his response.

“Murphy” Bellamy growled

“she tried to let him go” Murphy confessed, knowing there was no way he could continue withhold the information from Bellamy.

“She what?” Bellamy growled, shooting his eyes to Emerson, quickly assessing his restraints.

“Not now” Murphy added with agitation, “before”

“The handcuffs” Bellamy’s eyes dropped with understanding, “that was her?”

Murphy nodded.

“I don’t know what happened exactly, I came in. He” he pointed at Emerson “had Clarke by the throat so I fixed it. The handcuffs were on the floor, his ties all undone”

Bellamy swallowed hard “he must’ve held the key to the handcuffs when I put them back on, guess that’s how he got them off later

Bellamy stood stoically for a while then turned and headed to the bedroom. He paused at the door, shooting a menacing look back at Murphy, “keep something like that from me again, and you’re on your own” he cautioned then pushed the door opened and disappeared behind it. He turned on the flashlight he had left on the dresser, filling the darkened room with adequate lighting. His eyes scanned over Clarke as she lay in the bed with her eyes closed. Undoubtable she was pretending to sleep to avoid any conversation with him. He pulled down the covers and climbed in next to her. He propped himself on his side, his arm tucked under his head as he faced her. Jacket open

His hand slid over her chest, landing on the zipper to her jacket. He clasped the zipper in his fingers and tugged it down. Clarke’s eyes shot open and her hands flew over his stopping his movement.

“It’s too warm for this” he said gently then resumed pulling the zipper down until it was free from the jacket. He brushed her jacket open, his fingers gingerly moving over her now displayed chest. He traced them up and over the now viewable bruises on her neck.

“What happened here?” he asked with a gentle demand as his eyes surveyed the discolored skin

Clarke’s eyes shifted around the room.

“What happened?” Bellamy asked again, a bit more demanding this time after a few moments.

“Murphy told you” she replied in defeat. She knew that had to be the case, otherwise Bellamy’s reaction would have been a whole lot more heated then the delicate one he currently had.

“I want _you_ to tell me” he responded

Clarke chewed on her bottom lip before replying.

“I don’t want you to kill him” she said in a firm whisper.

“But you’ll let him kill you” Bellamy pushed, his hand know resting heavily on her shoulder.

“No!” she shot her head to face him “I only wanted him to leave, so you couldn’t kill him. I didn’t expect him to-”

“You thought you would just untie him, and what? He would walk away?” Bellamy asked in disbelief, his body tensing. His hand clamping down on her shoulder.

“You really thought that after _everything_ that son of a bitch has done that he would just walk away?” he accused with raised brows, “where would he go Clarke?” he pushed “his people are dead” Clarke sucked in a sharp breath and Bellamy watched the guilt spill throughout her eyes “ _WE_ did that” he reminded her after regretting his words, “the only alliance he had was with the grounders, who now want him dead….so where’s he gonna go Clarke” he pushed again “He _tortured_  you for weeks” he pleaded

“He avenged the massacre of his people” she snapped at him

“He _tortured_ you” Bellamy replied slowly, holding her face and therefore her eyes

“I _killed_ his people for killing ours; he _punished_ me for killing them. How can you justify what I did and not him? He didn’t kill me, like I did to them”

“You’re right, he kept you alive so he could _torture_ you” he replied with raised voice that dripped with condescension.

“ _We_ killed his people during a war. He tortured you after it-there’s a difference”

“the only difference is you feel obligated to forgive me” she replied coldly

“Obligated?” he replied harshly “obligated” he repeated.

“No Clarke, I don’t feel _obligated_ to forgive you. I pulled that lever, same as you and I don’t believe either of us needs forgiveness for it. I can look at Raven, and Miller, and Monty and know that what _we_ did was for them. They are alive because what _we_ did”

Clarke sat up, and then looked back at him. “I pulled the lever Bellamy, not you. I know what you did, and I know why, but that burden is on me”

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down “ _We_ both took part in that”

“No Bellamy!” She snapped, “You did what you always do! You tried to protect me. You never would have touched that lever; you never would have even considered massacring all those people if it weren’t for me! I did that” the tears broke free from her eyes as her voice cracked “I did that” she repeated in a whisper, looking away from him her body trembling.

Bellamy felt his chest tighten with each of her words; he knew there was truth to them. Denying that truth would console her.

“Clarke” he breathed tracing a finger over her cheek, gently coaxing her to look at him. “ _We_ saved our people. Whatever you believe my intentions to be doesn’t matter. _We_ did what we had to to save our people”

“There were children in there. There were families that helped our people, kept them alive. I killed them” she confessed into his eyes, “I deserved what he did and more. Warriors die in battle, not children”

“Would you rather our friends be dead?” he questioned “Me? If you could go back, and redo it would you let me die in there?” he pushed

“I sent you in there to die!” she shot back in pain. “I left our people and our allies to be killed by a bomb” she shook her head, “don’t make me out to be innocent in all this Bellamy-I’m not” her head dropped, “what I’ve become….”her voiced dropped low “what I’ve done….”

“What you’ve done” he interrupted her thoughts by cupping her cheek and bringing her eyes back to his. “I save everyone you care about”

Her head shook slowly as she whispered “not everyone”

“If we hadn’t pulled that lever, _all_  of them would be dead” he stared into her, “And the people that helped us, the children that lived there…they all would have eventually gone to the ground and happily bathed in the sunlight” his thumb caressed her cheek “they have been slaughtering grounders for over a century, using their blood to heal themselves. Maybe looking into the eyes of the people that would be next soften a few, but in the end-they would have accepted our marrow and our people would have just been a pile of bodies for the reapers to snack on”

“You don’t know that” she replied with doubt

“Every person that was in that mountain only lived by taking the lives of grounders, we would be no different in the end” he assured her

Clarke mauled over his words, she could understand the weight of them, but wouldn’t allow herself to agree, wouldn’t allow that forgiveness or peace inside her. Bellamy watches as the haunted look she had worn so long slide back across her face. His heart sank with every bit of her that disappeared before him.

“You’re wrong about this Clarke” he said with a voice of stone, withdrawing his hand from her.

“But if allowing him to _live_ is what will make this better for you-then so be it” he moved from the bed and onto his feet in seconds. Clarke shot upright and hastily followed behind him as he exited the room. Murphy sat up in alarm when they entered. “Go to the back room” Bellamy barked at him. Murphy’s eyes shifted to Clarke before moving into the bedroom, too tired to question Bellamy’s antics.

“Is this really what you want?” Bellamy asked as he stood over Emerson.

 


	48. Choices

“Well?!” Bellamy asked “Is this _really_ what you want”

Clarke did not hesitate in nodding her reply back to him.

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed on her as he took a step closer to her, “and _that_ will make you feel better about everything?” he questioned “no more guilt, no more ghosts haunting you?”

“I didn’t say that” she replied

“What will this do for you Clarke?” he challenged “because the only reason I would do this, is _for_ you”

He closed the distance between them, “so tell me what exactly this will do for you?”

“It will save…you” she said quietly. “You want to kill him for revenge”

“YES…I do” he replied stepping into her. “I want to do every heinous thing he did to you, to him. I want to starve him, chain him to a wall, and do _every-thing_ he did to you back to him”

He stepped into her again, his face inches from hers. “But I don’t know what he did Clarke” his eyes skimming over her, “I know every mark that I saw on you when I found you chained inside the mountain”

“I memorized every bruise, every gash, every burn, every cut and scratch….hell Clarke I even know every bone that was sticking out of you” his fingers traced over her ribs, “But I don’t know what he _did_. I can guess….but I don’t know”

His fingers now grazed over her cheek, “Do you _know_ what it did to me to find you like that?” he breathed, “Clarke I thought you were dead. We _all_ thought you were dead” his eyes searched hers as he continued. “and knowing that you _let_ him do it to you. You _let_ him” his words caught in his throat.

“What-the-fuck” Murphy’s voice cut through the tension that was building between them. He had been listening to the conversation from the bedroom doorway.

“ _That_ is what was going on between you?” he asked as he pointed between Clarke and Emerson.

He walked to them, “You let him torture you…everything he said the other day about breaking our people-that was about you?” he asked her as Bellamy stepped back from her.

“Go back to the room Murphy” Bellamy warned him

“And You” Murphy turned to him, “Where the hell were you when this was going on?” he accused

“She loses her mind and you just hand her over?”

“She wanted space” Bellamy replied through gritted teeth

“Space?” Murphy asked as his brows drew high on his forehead “this planet has been a death trap since we came down here, and you thought giving her space was a good idea?” Murphy took a threatening step to him. “Not to mention the fact that she just ended a war, killing hundreds in the process…and you thought what she needed was some space to get over it?”

Bellamy shoved Murphy hard, forcing him a few feet back.

“Stop-both of you” Clarke shouted, jumping between the two.  She looked at Murphy, “Bellamy is not to blame for any of this-no one is”

“She was a spoiled privileged girl for her entire life until over a year ago. Then she came here and was forced to be a leader, now a killer” his glare never left Bellamy. “And you thought that some _alone time_ would make all of that better. That she might not go off the deep end and do something incredibly stupid to ease that guilt?” Murphy stepped closer to Bellamy, despite Clarke’s pushes against him. “She’s not like us. We spent our lives doing everything we had to in order to stay alive, but Clarke…she never had those struggles until she came here. You thought that she would somehow figure out how to forgive herself for the things she did to survive? You thought she could write them off as easily as we do?”  Clarke was now squished tight between the two men as they each moved to the other.

“Stop!” she shouted, pushing Murphy as her back was now firmly pressed against Bellamy’s bare chest.

But Murphy was too close; she couldn’t get the leverage she needed to force him back so she remained trapped between them.

“And what would you have done? Huh?” Bellamy challenged Murphy “tied her up and held her prisoner until she agreed to stay”

“No” Murphy leaned over Clarke, “I would have gone with her”

Bellamy froze behind her. Even though she couldn’t see him, Clarke knew Murphy’s words had a profound effect on him.   
“He did what I wanted” She told Murphy, he dropped his eyes down to hers. “You didn’t know _what_ you wanted” he replied back with a newfound gentleness.

The three of them were surrounded by such a heavy, thick tension that they couldn’t find the words to use next. Each chewing and digesting the others comments for what felt like thirty minutes, but was in all actuality only a few.

“Leave” Bellamy growled at Murphy.

“I don’t think so” Murphy replied coldly.

Bellamy’s fingers gripped onto Clarke’s hips as he pulled her to the side. Clarke, however had no intention of moving, she firmly planted her feet into the ground bracing against his pull. She could hear as he ground his teeth in frustration behind her. His fingers now had a bruising grip on her hips.

“Maybe _you_ should leave” Murphy challenged

Bellamy’s fingers dug into Clarke’s hips as he pulled her further against him, as if to keep Murphy from being near her. 

“What were you gonna do Bellamy? Just let him go?” Murphy interrogated him.

“No” Bellamy shot back at him “I wasn’t!”

“You weren’t?” Clarke questioned, looking up over her shoulder at him

“I was showing her that free or not, dead or alive….none of that can erase her pain. She’s under the impression that he represents the best of his people, but he doesn’t. She won’t listen to just words, so I was trying a different method” He growled back at Murphy, ignoring Clarke completely

Clarke felt something sharp against her arm and suddenly everything around her turned black, she fell back into Bellamy’s arms as the darkness swallowed her. 

 


	49. Memories or Premonitions

Clarke’s body was forcefully jerked to the side, but held in place by some kind of restraint. She blinked her eyes open; she felt groggy, heavy….drugged. This place looked familiar somehow but she couldn’t pull her thoughts together to remember. She felt a strange pricking and weight on her wrist; she raised it up to investigate the odd…yet somehow familiar feeling.

 _A wristband?_ She thought with confusion

“Welcome back”

She looked towards the direction of the voice.

Wells “Look-”

“Wells? What are you doing here?” she questioned, her mind plagued with confusion

“When I found out they were sending prisoners to the ground, I got myself arrested” he explained “I came for you”

Clarke starred at him until another jolt shook her body, and the lights flickered on and off “What was that?” she questioned

“ _That_ was the atmosphere” Wells responded

Then the monitors around them turned on and Jaha’s voice echoed throughout the ship. Clarke blocked out his hypocritical voice and gazed at Wells while he watched his father on the monitor.

“Check it out, your dad floated me after all” Finn boasted as he hovered weightlessly four feet above the floor in front of them.

“Finn!” she exclaimed

His brows drew together as an amused look formed on his face, “Have we met Princess? Don’t think I’d forget that”

Her face fell…. _it’s a dream_ she thought to herself. She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard seatbelts being cut. “Hey! You two! Stay in your seats if you want to live” she yelled back at them

“You’re the trader that’s been in solitary for a year” Finn looked at her with a slight admiration

“Finn get in your seat!” But it was too late, the ship jerk roughly down and to the side. The other two boys were thrown about inside the cabin, Finn crashed to the floor. “Finn are you okay?” She shouted frantically at the floor behind her where he had a brutal greeting with gravity.

“The retrorockets ought to have fired by now” Wells said worried

“K, everything on this ships a hundred years old, right? Just give it a second” She said reassuringly

“Clarke there’s something I have to tell you”

“I’m sorry I got your father arrested”

“Wells it’s okay”

“Please! I can’t die-”  “WELLS ITS OKAY!” She shouted at him through the crashing ship.

“Listen” Monty said “No machine hum”

“Whoa” Jasper replied bewildered “That’s a first”

Their seatbelts unlocked automatically and Clarke raced to the boys that had left their seats “Finn, is he breathing?” The look on his face let her know that _that_ part of her dream would remain the same as well.

“The outer doors on the lower level” she heard a guy yell

However her feet wouldn’t move. This dream was giving her a chance to see Finn and Wells again and she wasn’t going to lose out on that.

She glanced around the room, but Wells had already headed for the lower level. She knelt beside Finn, placing a hand on his back then drawing him into a hug. His body went rigid against hers, and he did not return the embrace.

“The door” he said with excitement

“What” she asked with furrowed brow

“That sound…I think they opened the door” he jumped from the floor and crossed the room in three strides before grabbing hold of the ladder

“Finn wait!”

“Come on! Let’s see what it’s like” His voice filled with excitement

“Hell” Clarke mumbled to herself “its hell”

She followed behind him and exited the ship. She looked on as the rest of the hundred were dancing, skipping and flipping over the newfound land. Each blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurked behind each turn.  She rolled her eyes and they fell over to Mount Weather.

“They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain” she said to herself, reminiscing over the time when she thought _that_ was their biggest problem.

 _Good thing they did, or we would’ve been dead in a month_ she thought

Finn came up beside her “Why so serious Princess, it’s not like we died in a fiery explosion”

She gave him an unamused look… _if he only knew_

“You don’t like being called Princess….Do you Princess?” he teased

Clarke starred back at him in awe; she couldn’t force her eyes from him. Somehow though, without thought, the words slipped from her mouth, “we’re on the wrong mountain”. She snapped her mouth shut immediately.

Finn starred out across the vast mountains as Wells approached them from behind.

“We’ve got problems” he reported, leading her back o the dropship.

“The communication system is dead. I went to the roof. A dozen panels are missing. Heat fried the wires”

“That doesn’t matter right now” She replied as she starred at him. “Wells I know you didn’t get my father killed, I know my mother turned him in. I’m sorry I ever blamed you” the words flew out of her, unsure of how much time she would have before she woke from the dream.

“Cool, a map. They got a bar in this town? I’ll buy yah a beer” Jasper broke through their moment pointing at the map that Wells held.

“You mind?” Wells asked as he pushed Jasper.

“Wells stop!” Clarke urged him

“Hey! Hands off! He’s with us!” another boy shouted

“Relax. We’re just trying to figure out where we are” Wells replied

“We’re on the ground. That’s not good enough for you?” Bellamy and Octavia came into view.

“Bellamy” Clarke breathed a sigh of relief to see him

“Do I know you Princess?” Bellamy asked with an amused smirk

“Don’t call her princess” Wells snapped at him.

“Look everybody, it’s the chancellor of Earth” Murphy appears, stepping up to Wells.

“You think that’s funny?” Wells challenges him. Murphy trips Wells causing him to fall on to his back “No, but that is” he smirked

“Murphy stop!” Clarke pleaded with him. Murphy gave her a cold look before returning his focus to Wells. Just then Finn dropped from somewhere about them, everyone surrounding him gazed up in awe dangerous drop. The memory of the scene blurs before her, suddenly Finn is thrusting Monty and Jasper at her

“Four of us. Can we go now?” He asks

“Sounds like a party. Make it five” Octavia injects before Bellamy rushes behind her and pulls her back

The sight of Octavia preened and innocent has Clarke stifling a smile; she had forgotten how boy-crazy and young Octavia had been when they first landed.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Bellamy barked at Octavia.

 _That sounds familiar_ Clarke thought, happy that it wasn’t directed at her for a change.

“Going for a walk” Octavia replied.

Clarke’s eyes were drawn to the wristband on Finn, and the scratches around it.

“Don’t take it off” she tells him pointing to the band. “it transmits your vital signs to the Ark. If you take it off, they’ll think you’re dead”

“Should I care?” he asked

“I don’t know. You want the people you love to think you’re dead? They won’t follow us down here if they think we’re-” Clarke cut off her own words as she could see the wheels turning in Bellamy's head.

 _This is it_ she thought to herself _the moment I gave him the idea to destroy the wristbands. If I hadn’t told him, no one would have taken them off…the Ark could have come sooner. More people could have survived. Maybe we could have had a chance with a truce with Anya…changed things with Mount Weather._

She followed a bit behind Finn, and Octavia came up behind her   
“Before you get any ideas…..Finn’s mine” Octavia said

“Before you get any ideas….he’s already taken”

 _Wait_ she stopped herself, _we can’t go to mount weather_  

“Wait!” she shouted to Finn. “We should wait until morning; we don’t know when the sun will set.”

 _It’s just a dream, I’ll right all the wrongs we made_ she comforted herself.

She returned to Wells, tending to his sore ankle.  “Think we can find some water?” Finn asked rounding the corner. She nodded. “the lake to the east” she replied.

“How do you know there’s a lake?” Finn questioned.

“the map” Wells replied with attitude.

“Will you be okay?” She asked Wells, hesitant to leave him for fear she may wake before seeing him again.   
“Go” he smiled “We’ll all need water soon”

She nodded and followed Finn. They hiked in silence for the next hour until they reached the lake. Finn gazed out over the shimmering water, “amazing” he breathed in awe.

“Yeah” she said staring at him. He glanced back at her and smiled. “Think we’ll grow two heads if we drink it?” He joked. She laughed, “no, it’s safe”

Finn gave her a questioning glance before kneeling beside the lake and scooping water into his hands.

She watched his expression as he took the first drink of Earth water. Real water. She smiled.

They gathered as much as they could then headed back to the camp. Clarke took every chance she could to brush against him. He’d smile more each time she did it. 

“look” Finn said suddenly as he abruptly stopped walking and shot his arm out to stop her as well. Clarke followed his gaze to the large black panther fifty feet ahead of them. She recognized the beast; they’d seen many of them after discovering the first one when they rescued Jasper.

“We need to leave” She told him, knowing full well they had no weapons, and not wanting to see Finn die again even if it was just a dream.

“That has enough meat on it for everyone to have some” he replied quietly.

“We need weapons, it will kill us” she said pushing him away.

“I’ve got a knife” he replied, proudly holding a knife in his hand.

“Finn, that’s not enough” she began to reply until she saw the beast leaping at Finn from behind. She shoved him to the side and let out an agonizing scream as the beast clamped down on her leg and knocked her to the ground. Her fists pounded against the animal as it held her on her back. The pain tore through her leg as she watched the beast pull back from her thigh. She watched as Finn stabbed the beast repeatedly with his knife. She looked on in horror as the large animal turned its attention on Finn. She wasted no time scrambling to her feet and leaping on its back to pull it from Finn. It reared back causing her to lose balance and tumble to the floor beside it. The beast climbed back over her, readying itself for the next bit when a gunshot cracked through the air and the beast fell lifeless on top of her.

Smothered by the dead weight of the beast, Clarke struggled to breath.

 _You don’t hurt in dreams_ the irrational thought seeped through her as she gasped for air. The reality and severity of the pain in her leg, and her very real battle for air force another thought into her. She remembered stories of people that could see the future.

 _Is that what this is_ she pondered _was it all a dream before, is this what’s real_

The darkness that threatened her vision was enough proof for her that this had to be real. If it were a dream, she would have woken by now.

Suddenly the weight of the animal was off her and Wells came into view. He held a hand out to her; she took and pulled to her feet. She rushed to Finn when she saw him on the ground a few feet away. The blood on his shirt terrified her. _You’re not dying again_ she swore to herself. She pulled his shirt up and assesses the gash across his abdomen. It was superficial, but warranted attention. She ripped part of his shirt off and applied pressure to it.

“Can you walk?” she asked him. He gave her a weary nod; the pain he felt was foreign and shocking to him. She helped him to his feet, pulling his arm over her shoulder to steady him. She turned back to Wells. “Can you carry that?” she asked tilting her head at the fallen beast.  “It will provide food for a few days.

“I think so” he replied, hesitantly eyeing the large beast. Then Monty and Jasper pushed through the bushes “now you have help” she told Wells after getting the impression he wouldn’t be able to carry the large animal.

The journey back to camp was a quiet one. Everyone, besides Clarke, was in shock over the beast and Finns injuries.

“Oh my God, what happened” Octavia asked pulled Finns free arm over her shoulders to help support him. “He’ll be fine we just need to get him to the dropship” she replied coolly.

“Get that to the fire to be cooked” Clarke ordered back to Wells, Monty and Jasper.

Once they set Finn in the drop ship, Clarke pulled his shirt off. She made quick work of cleaning the scratches, they had already stopped bleeding. She cleaned the remaining blood off him. “You need to rest” She told him.

“I’ll take care of him” Octavia offered, pulling Finns hand into hers. Clarke nodded. She looked down at her hands and started to shake. Finn’s blood covered her hands, just like it had once done. She grabbed the canteen he had and rushed from the ship. Once outside she poured the water over her hands as she scrubbed frantically.

“You okay?” Wells asked her as he approached. She glanced up at him then froze.

_He’s not dead._

_Finn’s not dead_

_I didn’t kill them_

The thought reverberated through her and the blood on her hands no longer mattered. Shouts to her left caught her attention, “what’s that?” she asked

“They’re happy to have food” he told her. She smiled, “I need to get some for Finn” She moved to the fire with the others as Wells fell in step beside her.

She froze when she noticed the pile of wrist bands at the base of the fire, and the willing teenager that had their arm extended before Murphy. She pushed the girl away from Murphy. “No! You need to leave them on!”

Murphy grabbed her wrist and held it up as Bellamy approached, his arms crossed over his broad chest. “You know, if they think the Princess is dead…they won’t come down” Murphy cheered to Bellamy.

Bellamy nodded. Murphy forced Clarke to spin around, pulling at her arm.

“Wait!” Bellamy stopped him.

“What?” Murphy replied with annoyance

“She’s bleeding” Bellamy kneeled beside her leg, gently moving the torn fabric of her pants around to see the extent of the wounds. “What happened?” he asked.

“It’s nothing” she shrugged; “You can’t remove their wristbands” she pleaded with them.

Bellamy looked up at her, his response was cut short when Wells dropped down beside him and examined Clarke’s thigh. “Did that thing do this to you?” Wells asked nodding to the remains of the once large beast nearby.

Clarke nodded then turned her attention back to Bellamy. “Bellamy please, we need the wristbands. The Ark is dying; everyone on it will die if they think we can’t survive down here.”

Bellamy rose to his feet, “Get her in the dropship, those wounds are deep they should be taken care of”

“Who is going to take care of them?” Murphy asked.

“I’m fine” Clarke growled at them “and I’m the only one who knows what to do with wounds”

“Exactly why I need you alive” Bellamy told her “get her inside” he repeated the order to Murphy.


	50. Stiches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, don't freak out! The story has taken a detour on the crazy train but I promise it hasn't derailed completely! Stay with me, all will be revealed and will make sense soon :)

Clarke fought against Murphy as he grabbed hold of her, Murphy’s frustration with her grew and with it so did the strength of his grasps “Knock it off Princess” he growled at her.

“Don’t touch her” Wells snapped at him.

“Make me” Murphy challenged him, pushing Clarke aside. Bellamy grabbed hold of Clarkes arm and pulled her to the side of the group.

“What do you need to take care of that” He said eyeing her leg.

“You can’t keep taking their wristbands. The Ark. Everyone up there will die. And we _need_ them. There are things here that can kill us. We need them to help us survive.” She pleaded with him grabbing hold of his forearms.

“We’re doing just fine on our own” he replied. Then eyed her leg, “Some of us anyway”

“Look, you’re the daughter of the best physician on the Ark, one of only five in that field. We need your medical knowledge. You can help these kids with it. But you can’t do that, if you bleed out tonight”

Her eyes shifted over his face and she nodded, “Now tell me, what do you need to take care of that” he repeated.

“I found something” she thought “a bunker, it has a few medical supplies, but I’ll need your help” she said. She knew she had to gain his trust again in order for him to stop removing the wristbands. She also knew that she wouldn’t let history repeat itself with Finn…in many instances.

“Lead the way” Bellamy replied then followed her through the forest. She pulled back the latch to the bunker that used to be a secret hiding place for her and Finn. She climbed in and followed cautiously. She climbed back behind him and closed the latch, after lighting a few candles.

“What is this place?” Bellamy asked as he scanned the area, walking around the room and looking at all the items in it.

“A shelter, from the bombs” she replied.

Bellamy turned back to her, “Where’s the supplies?” he asked. She pointed behind him to a small first aid kit. He grabbed it. “Lay down” he told her pointing to the bed. She sat down, and then pulled off her boots. She rose back to her feet and pulled her pants down, kicking out of them and placing them on a nearby chair.

Bellamy starred at her in disbelief. It was then that Clarke realized that just because she had dreamed the future, where modesty was a luxury they didn’t have…didn’t mean Bellamy knew that…yet.

She tried not to think about it as she lay back on the bed. Bellamy, taken back by her abruptness, grabbed a cloth from the table and her canteen and doused the cloth with the water. He sat on the edge of the bed, attempting to hide how flustered he was. He gently dabbed the damp cloth over her torn flesh.

“How are you still walking on this, it’s pretty deep” He asked, taken back by the severity of the bite marks.

“I’ve been through worse” Clarke shrugged nonchalantly

Bellamy cocked up and eyebrow when he looked at her skeptically, “You? What could you have possibly been through that’s worse than this?”

She shook her head, quickly realizing that was not a can of worms she wanted to open.

“You didn’t kill him” She informed him.

“Didn’t kill who?” Bellamy asked as his eyes and hands remained focused on her wounds.

“Jaha”

Bellamy’s eyes shot to hers with a darkness she had forgotten about in them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he said quickly righting himself and continuing on with her wound care. Clarke dropped a hand over his stopping him.   
“He’s alive” she assured him. “And he will forgive you”

“Looks like you two found something useful” Finn boasted as he entered the bunker.

“Finn!” She exclaimed excitedly, not sure if she would ever get over the joy that filled her each time she saw him alive. Something about him, being in their old place…it stirred something within her.

“Hey princess” he replied coolly as he sauntered over to them.

“What happened?” his cool voice now filled with concern as he kneeled down beside Bellamy, eyeing her leg.

“What happened is, you let that animal attack our only doctor” Bellamy rudely replied. He saturated the rag with more water and continued to clean her wounds, a little less gently then before.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked her, dismissing Bellamy’s comment.

“Does she look okay?” Bellamy snapped at him gesturing to her leg in front of him.

“I’m fine” she replied attempt to deescalate the tension between the two.

“I didn’t even know you were hurt” Finn replied, “why did you worry about me, if your leg was this bad?” he asked.

“I’m fine, I told you. And you were bleeding”

“ _You_ were bleeding, much more than me” he responded, his eyes raking over her wounds.

“How about next time, you don’t put the only person that can help us if people get sick, or hurt, in danger” Bellamy interjected harshly, as he glared briefly at Finn before continuing with her would care.

“How about next time, you’re more concerned with feeding your people then removing their wristbands” Finn replied.

“Suture kit” Clarke interrupted, trying to deescalate the building argument.

“What?” Bellamy snapped at her

She nodded to the first aid kit beside him, “the suture kit, I need to stich this one” she said pointing to the worst of the gashes in her thigh. He nodded, grabbing hold of the tiny kit. He eyed the contents of it. Clarke started to sit up but Finn’s hand on her shoulder held her in place.

“What are you doing?” he asked her with concern.

“I can’t see it from here, I need to-”

“Lay down, I got this” Bellamy instructed her. Finn gave him a doubtful look, “ _you_ know how to put stiches in?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “no.  My mother was a seamstress, I know how to sew. Can’t be that different” he rationalized. Clarke relaxed back down.  Bellamy’s eyes shifted between the wound and the needle and thread now in his hand. He swallowed hard when he first pressed the needle to her skin. He hesitated.

“Well? Are you gonna do it?” Finn asked.

“You want to do it?” Bellamy gave him a sideways glare.

“ _I_ never said I could” Finn shot back

Bellamy shot him another look, then pushed through his discomfort and pierced her skin with the needle. His stomach turned at the site of the needle penetrating her flesh as he put the first stich in place.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Finn inquired as he watched every move Bellamy’s fingers made with the needle.

“Unless you want me to practice on you I suggest you shut up” Bellamy threatened as he focused his concentration on her wound. He tried to detach himself from the concept of stitching together flesh. Instead he focused solely on the act of making the perfect stiches.

“You can space them out more” Clarke’s voice broke into his concentration “We should save the thread for the others. For wounds they may have in the future” Clarke tried not to shudder as she thought of just how many wounds each of them would have, and that over half wouldn’t survive.

 _Not this time_ she thought to herself

“ _The others_ aren’t hurt right now-you are” Bellamy glanced up at her, “We’ll use the supplies where they’re needed” he continued on but her hand fell gently over his.

“This is the first of many, don’t waste it all on me” she cautioned him.

“This isn’t up for discussion” his low throaty voice reverberated through her, leaving her only capable of nodding back. Bellamy finished with the stiches and sat back to admire his work, before standing.

“We should get back to camp, can you walk?”

“I walked here didn’t I?” Clarke shot back at him. Bellamy’s cold-hard look of annoyance stuck with her as he exited the bunker. After a moment she walked to the ladder, but Finn’s gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned around to face him, leaning slightly back against the ladder.

“Why did you push me out of the way?” he asked with a veil of confusion.

“It would have killed you” Clarke attempted to downplay her efforts to keep him save, knowing full-well that if she threw out _because I love you_ he would believe her to be crazy. She also did not want to repeat her actions with him on many levels. The first of which, falling in love again. _This_ time she knew about Raven….and she wouldn’t hurt her this time.

Clarke turned to grab the ladder but Finn moved in front of her. “That may explain the first attach, but not why you continued to go after that thing. It could have killed you and yet you still fought to protect me…someone you don’t know….why?” His words weren’t accusing, only an attempt to make sense of such an act.

“You would have done the same for me” she smiled and began to climb the ladder. Finn watched her climb until she exited the bunker, _What are you hiding Princess_ he thought as he tried to de-mystify her actions.

 

 

 

 


	51. All In A Moment

“Clarke?” She opened her eyes, the sun blazed into them forcing her to squint to see the forms above her.

“Hey she’s awake” Jasper smiled.

She tried to sit up, but her body felt heavy and uncooperative. Hands pushed her from behind then propped her against something…a wall? Yes. She was inside the dropship on the top floor.

“What happened?” Clarke asked, knowing full well this was more than just her average sleep that she was awakening from.

“Wells used a tranquilizer on you” Jasper replied as he offered her a cup of water.

“What?” She asked rubbing her heavy head still trying to force herself awake.

“He was afraid you would hurt yourself more if you kept walking on your leg so he used a tranquilizer we found in the medical kit.” Monty explained. Clarke grabbed his naked wrist as he took the cup from Jasper.

“Where’s your wristband?” Clarke demanded

“Wells thought he could send a transmission through them so he took everyone’s” Monty explained

“That won’t work” she shook her head. Clarke moved to her feet, but her body was still heavy and unsteady. “Whoa, easy there Princess-you’ve been out for a while” Jasper told her as he held out his arms to spot her.

Clarke’s eyes shot to his, “How long?”

“A few days” Monty responded.

“Days?!” Clarke exclaimed, “No, no, no!” she muttered to herself as she willed her body to cooperate with the walk she was attempting. She managed to make it down the ladder and out of the dropship. The 100 were all hard at work building a fence. She glanced around until she spotted Wells.

“Tell me you didn’t ruin all the wristbands” she demanded as she marched over to him.

Wells eyes scanned over her, “how are you feeling?” he asked with genuine concern.

“Do _any_ of the wristbands still work?” she asked

He shook his head with furrowed brow.

“Damn it” she muttered

“Clarke we don’t need them” he explained placing a hand on her lower back.

“Wells that was the only way the Ark will know we’re still alive. They _need_ to know we’re alive that Earth is survivable”

“They know” he smiled at her

“How can they possibly know without the wristbands?” she asked deflated.

“Because I told them” Wells boasted.

Clarke’s eyes slowly met with his, “What?”

“I used the wristbands to establish a radio system with them. They know we’re alive Clarke, and they’re coming down”

Relief washed over Clarke and she couldn’t contain the smile growing across her face. “You did it” she whispered under her breath. “Monty couldn’t, but you did” she said to herself in disbelief.

“I was a communications major; I wouldn’t trust that job to anyone else. Especially someone from Argo station, you know as well as I do our education is superior to the other stations”

Clarke scanned the camp for a familiar figure, “Where’s Bellamy?”

“The janitor?” Wells asked

“Bellamy, where is he?” she asked, her eyes slowly meeting with Wells.

“Where he belongs until my father comes down to deal with him” Wells replied sternly.

“Where.Is.He” Clarke repeated slowly, her fear for Bellamy’s safety growing

“Detained” Wells answered shortly.

“Where?” Clarke insisted once again. Wells gave in and lead her through the camp to an area just outside it. There she found Bellamy, his arms tied above his head as they held him dangling from the tree. The sight eerily similar to what Bellamy had done to Adam, but this was different. Bellamy had punished Adam this way for one night. It was clear the Bellamy had spent much longer than that tied to the tree.

“Oh My God” Clarke breathed as she rushed to the tree “Bellamy” her eyes darting around to figure a way to cut him down.

“Clarke” Wells heavy hand on her shoulder stopped her search.

“Wells, cut him down!” she demanded

“Clarke he shot me father!” Wells snapped back at her, “He will be punished”

“There’s more to it than that, you don’t understand” she pleaded then circled the tree to find the rope holding Bellamy.

Wells fingers wrapped tightly around her shoulder forcing her backwards. “What I don’t understand is why you want to free a _janitor_ who _shot_ my father” his low voice told her there would be no negotiating with him on this.

“He did it to protect his sister” she pleaded once more as her eyes drifted up to Bellamy. His tired eyes looked back at her with a veil of curiosity over them.

“I don’t care why he did it. He is a murder and will be punished as such” Wells gave her a shove away from Bellamy and back towards the camp.

“The laws of the Ark are still in place on Earth Clarke, and we will follow them” he commanded. Clarke glanced once more back at Bellamy, giving him a silent promise before leaving with Wells.

The sunset and a blanket of darkness covered the camp within the hour. The 100 made their way into their tents and the dropship to settle in for the night. Clarke watched as Wells turned in for the evening in his tent then made her move. She quietly walked back to Bellamy, making note of Miller sleeping against a tree a few feet away. She pulled the knife she managed to sneak away from Murphy out of her pocket and slowly cut the rope that held Bellamy up. She grasped tight onto the area above where she cut as the blade tore through the last strands and the rope broke free. Her body jolted forward, pulled by the weight of Bellamy’s body now in her hands. She fought hard to bring him down gently, and ran to him the second his feet hit the ground. Her knife made quick work of the rope on his wrists, freeing him within a minute or two. She held her finger to her lips silently “shh” to him as she led him through the forest. They hiked through the darkness until they reached the bunker. Once they were both inside she motioned for him to sit on the edge of the bed then grabbed the first aid kit and the canteens that had been left behind. She kneeled on the floor before him and grabbed hold of his wrists.  She then poured water over his broken skin and he hissed as the icy water burned his wounds.

“How did you know that?” He asked hesitantly

“What?” she responded as she continued her work on his wrists.

His hands freed themselves from her grasp and landed over hers, stopping her actions. She looked up at him, meeting his gaze.

“What I did to save my sister” Clarke tore her eyes from his and tried to pull her hands free to continue aiding his wounds. Bellamy gently grabbed her face, bringing her eyes back to his.

“How did you know?” he asked again

Clarke took a deep breath, biting her lip as she decided on the best answer…one that wouldn’t lead him to believe that she was crazy.

“I just do, can we leave it at that?” She pleaded

“For now” he smirked revealing his dimples.

 _Some things never change_ Clarke joked to herself.

“I’m not sure why you’re worried about my wrists, I’m a dead man anyways” he joked half-heartedly.

“No you’re not” she shot back at him as she tied off the bandage to his left wrist.

“I shot the chancellor; they’re going to kill me”

“I won’t let that happen” she assured him as she tied off the bandage to his right wrist and rose to her feet. His hand caught her wrist and pulled her to him.

“Why do you care?” he questioned

“You’re too important to everyone here” she replied

He smirked and shook his head, “no one _here_ knows me. Except Octavia and even she hasn’t spoken to me after she found out what I did” He pulled her against him, “which is why I don’t understand why a Princess like _you_ is so concerned with my well-being” Mistrusted wavered in his eyes as he prodded her for answers.

“You can’t ever just trust someone can you?” she questioned

“No” he smiled at her, “I’ve learned better than that”

Clarke sighed heavily. Telling him the truth would go one of two ways….nope…just one way…he would call her crazy. Though, at this point he left her no choice.  She sat next to him and slowly told the story of her dream, more like nightmare; she had of them landing on the Earth. She watched as he processed the information she told him, waiting for the moment he would laugh or throw a sarcastic comment, but it never came. Instead…he accepted everything without question. She should have known better, she scolded herself. Bellamy never second guessed her when she relied on him; he always took her word for truth as she had done his.

“So, in this premonition of yours…you and I….?”

“Are friends” she finished for him, the uncertainty brightly shining through her response.

“Friends?” he asked leaning near her, his face hovering over hers

“Friends” she replied with the same uncertainty.

Bellamy took that as his cue and closed the distance between them, kissing her gently. Clarke immediately melted into him. His tongue traced her lips before sliding between them.

“Friends?” he asked against her lips before trailing kisses down her neck. The tenderness of the moment left Clarke without words. There was an innocence to these kisses that was foreign to her. There was no war being fought around them, no deaths haunting them, no impending doom encompassing them. Just this moment. Bellamy gently pushed her jacket from her shoulders and she shrugged out of it. Their clothes began to pile onto the floor as their kisses grew in intensity.

Soon they were left with no barriers between them as Bellamy’s body hovered over hers. He slowly pushed into her, savoring every moment. The blissful ignorance of the dangers that lurk around them allowed the two of them to be in the moment together. Clarke could feel the tug at her heart with every rill of his hips. Everything she had forced herself not to feel, every emotion she denied herself where Bellamy was involved tore into her. If she could have painted the perfect moment between them, it would have been this one. The pureness of this moment would leave a beautiful scar on her heart, one she won’t soon be able to forget.


	52. Changing Fate

Waking up wrapped in Bellamy’s strong arms was the most peaceful moment Clarke had every experienced on Earth. The quiet that encompassed them in the small bunker was a welcomed break from the usual chaos that ensued. His arms tightened around her as he felt her stir when she woke.

“Thanks for not letting me be floated” Bellamy greeted her, only half joking

Clarke smiled at him, “I can’t do this without you” she admitted

“Now that I don’t believe” he replied with a lopsided grin

“Bellamy, I’m serious”

“We’ve been on Earth for almost a week and in that time you’ve found food, water, and saved a man’s life….seems like you handle everything pretty well on your own”

“Only because I already knew where to find water, the food happened on accident” hers eyes lifted to his, “and I.Need.You.” she admitted “We balance each other. If I’m acting irrational and impulsive you’re not afraid to tell me, and vice versa. We keep each other in check, we’re a team-and I can’t do this without you”

Bellamy rolled his eyes and scoffed, “if you say so Princess”

A sound above them startled them to their feet, immediately grabbing clothes. The latch opened and someone began to descend down the ladder. They scrambled faster to dress and Bellamy took a stance between the ladder and Clarke.

“Well you two look cozy” Finn joked after his feet landed on the floor and he caught sight of the pair.

“What are you doing here?” Bellamy demanded, not the least bit amused by Finn.

“I could ask you the same” Finn retorted

Clarke pushed around Bellamy and addressed Finn, “Hey Princess” he greeted her before she could speak. “You’ve got the Chancellors son tearing the camp apart to find you” he smiled.

“What?” She questioned “Why?”

“He thinks that _he_ ” he eyed Bellamy, “broke free and did something to you”

“What!?” Clarke shouted

“Well this just gets better” Bellamy grumbled under his breath.

“How could he even believe that?” She questioned

“Well…it’s not every day a Princess like you has a rendezvous with a..” he eyed Bellamy again “..An alleged murderer” he turned his gaze back on Clarke. “You should get back before-”

“Does he know about the bunker?” Clarke interrupted him.

Finn shook his head “nah, figured that’s a secret best kept between…us”

Clarke nodded in approval then turned to Bellamy, “You should stay here, let me talk to him-”

“Talk all you want Princess, I shot his father-he’s not going to let that go” Bellamy replied planting his hands on his hips

“He’ll come around” She assured him.

Bellamy scoffed and rolled his eyes, “maybe in your dream future...”

Clarke’s face had uneasiness about it; while she had filled Bellamy in on her supposed premonition….she left a few key details out. Mainly, she never mentioned Wells or Finn dying. She only gave him the basics, the more critical information.

“One night together and you already have a dream future?” Finn questioned with an amused grin.

“He’ll come around, I’ll talk to him. Just stay here until I make him understand” Clarke addressed Bellamy, ignoring Finns comment.

“ _Is_ that what happens?” Bellamy pushed taking a step towards her. “Because I don’t recall you explaining how Chancellor Jr. backs down and you and I start running things…he doesn’t seem the type to step out of that position”

 _Uh-oh_ Clarke scolded herself, knowing there wouldn’t be an easy way out of this.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Finn questioned, this time the amusement had faded from his face.

Clarke held Bellamy's gaze for a while, and then briefly shifted it to Finn. “Would somebody tell me?” Finn pushed.

“She had a premonition of our time on Earth” Bellamy said exasperated by Finns questions

Finns brows drew together as he turned to Clarke, and then laughed. “A premonition? Seriously?” he laughed.

“It doesn’t matter how It happens-just that I know it will” Clarke turned back to Bellamy, glaring momentarily at Finns howling laughter.

“You’re actually buying this” he choked out between laughs.

Bellamy’s brows drew together as his eyes narrowed, his arms crossing over his broad chest. “I’m starting to think the _how_ is relevant” Clarke rolled her eyes away from him-then glared at Finn in frustration “You have a girlfriend named Raven, you used to sneak her food and clothes and she’s the one who went on the spacewalk not you. You took the blame because she was over eighteen and would have been floated” Finns jaw snapped shut and his face when white as a sheet. The air had been sucked out of his lungs, and he stood there starring at her in disbelief for a long while.

“So _how_ exactly does Chancellor Jr. become the forgiving type?” Bellamy took another step towards Clarke, leaving only a foot between them.

“He didn’t live okay?!” she snapped at him, swallowing down the pain of the memory as the words crossed her lips.

“What?” Bellamy questioned. “He died within days of landing” she answered defeated, dropping her head.

“And you didn’t think that was information that I should have?” Bellamy accused. “So the entire future you saw has changed?”

Clarke sucked in a heavy breath, “I don’t know” she whispered.

“You don’t know?!” Bellamy shouted. “What else has changed?” he demanded, leaning into her.

Clarke’s eyes skirted around the room, avoiding Bellamy’s at all costs. “Just a few things” she muttered.

“What exactly?” he pushed, his voice dropping as his agitation grew.

“The trip to Mount Weather, the first day. Octavia was attacked by a sea creature and Jasper was speared by a grounder” she replied quickly, hoping that answer would pacify his curiosity.

“What’s a grounder?” Finn asked slowly, still reeling in the bomb she had dropped on him.

“People, that survived on Earth” Clarke replied, desperate to keep the conversation with Bellamy continuing on the same path.

“What else?” Bellamy asked as though he could already read through her as he had done in her dream so many times before.

“I never got bit by the panther” she shrugged.

“We really should get back to Wells” she added pushing Finns shoulder to make him turn back to the ladder. Bellamy’s hand wrapped around her bicep and spun her around before she could get Finn to budge.

“ _What_ else?” he growled, “there’s something you don’t want to tell me” he continued as if he could read her secrets in her eyes.

“We really need to go” she replied pushing Finn once more.

“Not until you tell me” Bellamy’s grip tightened on her arm as he drew her into him. “I’m not waiting down here for a future that doesn’t sound like it’s panning out to be the one you envisioned” his grip loosened, “I just need to know if the whole thing has changed, or if it’s still going the way you saw. Because if it’s not then I need to get my sister and get the hell away from that camp”

He dropped her arm “So tell me, how much has changed?” he asked, the agitation completely withdrawn from his voice at this point.

Clarke swallowed, “everything after the landing” she answered quietly, staring into his eyes-silently trying to give him hope.

“ _Every_ thing?” he questioned with a low voice.

Clarke slowly nodded. Bellamy’s gaze fell to the bed beside them where they had spent the night then drifted back to her, “Everything?” he repeated.

She nodded again.

“Friends?” he asked her with a raised brow, referring back to the previous night’s discussion.

Clarke wasn’t sure _how_ to answer that, had she and Bellamy ever been _just_ friends? There was always something else there, maybe not romantic at first, but the gravitational pull they both had towards one another was more than what could be defined as friends.

“In the beginning” she replied the only way she could think to.

“And in the end?” he questioned her further.

She met his gaze, “I don’t know” she sighed “it’s complicated” her eyes began to plead with his “we hadn’t really talked about it”

Bellamy seemed somewhat satisfied with her response as his stance relaxed. “But you think you can convince Jr to pardon me?” he asked, the skepticism lacing his cool tone.

“I know I can” She responded confidently

Bellamy studied her for a while before giving her a kirk nod, “okay”. Clarke left no more room for discussion as she pushed Finns shoulder again and turned him back to the ladder. This time he complied and they filed out.

 _How the hell am I gonna get Wells to get over this?_ Clarke questioned herself as she closed the hatch to the bunker. _He’s never going to forgive Bellamy._

Clarke and Finn hiked in silence back to the dropship. Clarke’s mind was plagued with questions she couldn’t answer, and doubts that wouldn’t subside. Each step filled her with concern over what else would be different in this future. While she was thrilled that Wells was still alive, was Bellamy going to be the sacrifice for that? 

Moreover, was that a price she was willing to pay?


	53. Lies Through Omission

Clarke and Finn hadn’t made it more than a few hundred feet when a rustling behind them put them both on alarm. They spun around to face the intrusion, the fear evident on their faces.

“Bellamy what are you doing?! You should stay in the bunker until I can talk to Wells” Clarke’s disapproval flittered through her alarmed voice.

“Yeah, I thought about it and I’m not leaving _my_ fate up to your history with Chancellor Jr.” Bellamy said as he joined them. “I’m not as confident as you are that he’ll forgive and forget” he added plainly as he walked passed both of them. Clarke and Finn watched him in shock. It took a moment for Clarke to shake off the shock and respond. She trotted up to him grabbing his arm.

“You shouldn’t come back yet. I need time to talk to him, to make him understand” she pleaded

“Understand what Clarke? I shot his father! That’s the _only_ thing he’s going to understand” Bellamy responded harshly. Hurt curtained over her face as she struggled to push through to convince him.

“You did it to protect your _sister_ -not kill him” her blue eyes stared softly into his chocolate ones attempting to force him to agree with her words.

“I pulled the trigger to _kill_ him” Bellamy’s icy tone reverberated through both Clarke and Finn. Bellamy’s cold eyes glared down at Clarke.

“Bellamy I _know_ you” She replied dismissing the chill running through her. “I _know_ you wouldn’t have even pulled a gun on anyone unless it was to protect someone”

Bellamy eyes shifted away from hers, unable to hold the intensity of her stare. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think” he replied coldly then turned away from her and hiked back towards the camp.

They arrived on in silence for a while, before Finn’s curiosity pushed him over the edge and he had to resolve his questions.

“So we must have been pretty close” Finn glanced over at Clarke as they hiked through the forest.

“In your premonition” he continued

Clarke’s eyes met his, but she refused to hold his gaze. Instead she nodded and carried on with their hike.

“I mean, I haven’t told anybody about the spacewalk. So I’m just curious as to why I would have told you”

Clarkes eyes shifted around before glancing over at him again, “you didn’t” her head turned back in front of her as she continue walking “Raven did”

That stopped Finn in his tracks. “Raven?” he questioned, although his voice was so low he was more questioning himself than anyone else. He shook his head and grabbed Clarke’s shoulder with a heavy hand forcing her to stop and face him. Her eyes met his with a mixture of shock and irritation. “Finn we need to keep moving” she insisted, but Finn held tight. Bellamy noticed the two had fallen behind and turned back to them, “You two comin?” he asked.

Finns eyes were locked on Clarke, “Raven wouldn’t have told anyone that. No matter how close she was with them” Clarke’s eyes betrayed her by holding Finns penetrating stare.  “So how do _you_ know?” he accused.

Bellamy took slow steps back to the pair, curiously listening to the conversation, “What’s going on here?” he questioned glancing back and forth between the two.

“She’s lying” Finn said without breaking eye contact with Clarke.

“We’ve been through this” Bellamy began with aggravation ringing through his voice.

“She may know things, but she’s lying about how” Finn replied, once again his eyes remained deadlocked on Clarkes.

“I’m not” she stated firmly.

Finn stepped into her resulting in Bellamy to close the distance he had with them. Finns hand dropped to her arm and his fingers latched onto her. “She wouldn’t have told you that-ever”

“She thought you were going to die, she was pleading for your life and she admitted the truth behind your spacewalk” Clarke confessed, hoping that it would be enough to appease his doubt.

Finn continued to glare into her, “why would she tell you-that’s what I don’t get”

Clarke let out a heavy breath, and licked her lips, “I tried to save you, from the grounders. I…they….” Clarkes words were eluding her, the emotions that had felt so real before were welling up inside her choking her once again. “It was a moment of weakness; she was scared and thought I was your only hope”

Perhaps not the best choice of words, but they were the only ones Clarke could string together. Finns heated glare cooled as his grip loosened.

“So you saved his life too? That’s just your thing?” Bellamy questioned jokingly. His attempt to lighten the mood back fired with one sharp look from Clarke.

“I didn’t save his life” she said turning her eyes back to Finns as they brimmed with tears “I took it”.

The last three words were so quiet they were barely audible, although they burned through every ear that heard them. Bellamy’s eyes widened as he took a step back, as if her words physically pushed him away from her. Finn studied her face, patiently coaxing out the truth with each passing second.

“They were going to torture you” her voice cracked, and as hard as she tried a sob pushed through her. “I couldn’t let them that to you…..I….I” she couldn’t control herself anymore, the memories were too real. The pain of losing him, of loving him…the texture and warmth of his blood on her hands seared into her heart. With the overwhelming emotions consuming her, her arms flew around his neck as she pulled herself into him. His arms embraced her, crushing her against his chest as he tried to process the information.

Bellamy watched in complete confusion, Finn was embracing someone who admitted to killing him. And while the scene was baffling, one question was now ringing through his mind.

“Did you kill me too?” he accused more than asked. Clarke pushed back from Finn, “No!” she answered in complete shock.

“But you killed him” he nodded to Finn.

Clarke began to tremble as his words pierced her heart. The brutal honesty and bluntness of them tore at every emotion that was already bringing her to a breaking point.

“I didn’t have a choice, I couldn’t let them-” the words choked in her throat, coming out broken between sobs.

“What _exactly_ would have happened to him?” Bellamy asked, his accusing tone took the last ounce of strength she had within her and her knees gave way as she collapsed to the ground. The Bellamy she knew wouldn’t have forced such weakness into her. He pushed her, yes, but _always_ supported her…not agreed with…but supported. This Bellamy was different. The history they had shared wasn’t there. Everything she had been through with him in her premonition was what strengthened their bond. This time, they hadn’t challenged each other, hadn’t questioned each other. No. This time they quickly gave into their carnal desires, but avoided the mess that had previously brought them to that point.

Finn was at Clarke’s side, glaring at Bellamy as his hands gently held her shoulders guiding her back to her feet.

“Well Princess?” Bellamy pushed, not at all detoured by her sudden collapsing.

“Back off Blake” Finn snapped at him as he continued to support Clarke. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her, or her premonitions, but something in him told him to trust her.

“I’m just curious” Bellamy continued “what could cause her to turn on one of our own like that. She said she was a leader, that there were grounders and mountain people to worry about. She never mentioned slaughtering one of our own.” Every word that left his lips scared Clarke’s heart without remorse.

“I’m just curious if you were the only one?” he finished, his hands on his hips as he stared at Clarke waiting for an answer.

“Knock it off!” Finn snapped at him again, his eyes not leaving Clarke.

“If she prevented me from a slow death in this…premonition…then I’d rather have that then be tortured. I doubt she-”

“I did things” Clarke’s body began to straighten out to look at him, “I did horrible things” she trembled slightly. “I killed hundreds” her knees were beginning once again to buckle underneath her and she struggled to keep them strong.

“I hated myself for it” the tears streaked down her cheeks without hesitation with her confession.

“I did what I had to do, what I _thought_ I had to do to save our people” she took a shaking step towards Bellamy, then another, and another. Each step brought her strength and weakness at the same time. The mixture stirred within her muscles and bones somehow still allowing her to move forward.

“I don’t want to do that again” she confessed as she now stood in front of him “I want to do it right this time.” Her eyes met his immediately softening his glare. “I want to get it right this time” she reiterated.

He eyed her cautiously for a moment then nodded with approval. “We should get back to camp then”.

Finns reassuring hand on her back persuaded Clarke to follow Bellamy. Though they exchanged no words between them, he remained at her side throughout the journey back. His presence giving her the strength she lacked as well as the simple comfort it provided.

They were nearing the camp when shouts rang out around them and Miller pummeled into Bellamy. Bellamy lost his footing briefly, but quickly regains his traction and pushed Miller off of him. His fist swung out and collided with Miller’s chin knocking him to the ground. Another boy attempted to get the jump on Bellamy, but proved to be to slow and Bellamy easily threw him against a nearby tree. Panting Bellamy watched as more teenage boys surrounded him. Much to Finn’s dismay Clarke ran in front of Bellamy and extended her arms outward to block him from any further attacks.

“Our fight isn’t with you _Princess_ ” Miller sneered as he reclaimed his footing. “You should move”

“I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not going to hurt him” she commanded.

“The General wants the prisoner back. You _will_ move” Miller retorted.

“The General?” Finn questioned from behind Bellamy, “Who’s that?”

“Jaha. His father name him General until his arrival” Miller replied. Bellamy couldn’t withhold his eye roll and huff from behind Clarke. “Don’t think this is going to work the way you want it to Princess” He muttered to her. Clarke’s eyes glanced over her shoulder at him, and then narrowed back on Miller.

“You should move” Miller told her firmly.

“I’m not going to let you hurt him” she said maintaining her defensive position.

“You can move, or I can _make_ you move” Murphy informed her from the side.

“He’s a criminal. He shot the Chancellor.” One of the boys spoke up.

“We’re _all_ criminals” she reminded them, “and none of you even _like_ the Chancellor”

Her words resonated within the mob, and for a brief moment she had won control of them.

“So you feel it was okay for him to shoot my father. The Chancellor” Wells voice bellowed out before she ever caught sight of him.

“No Wells, but there’s more to it than that. You don’t have the whole story” She argued with him as the group parted for him to make his way to the front.

Wells stopped a few feet shy of her, and then addressed Bellamy. “Did you shoot my father?” he asked bluntly.

“Yes” Bellamy replied with irritation

“Did you _intend_ to shoot my father?”

“Yes”

The tension between the two was so thick it was suffocating for Clarke who still stood between them.

“That’s all I need to know then” Wells replied plainly, then turned on his heel. “Tie him up, and keep him under constant surveillance” with that Wells walked calmly away from them. The group enclosed on them and Bellamy tried to side-step around Clarke, but she moved with him planting herself in front of him.

“This is my fight-not yours” He told her

“We fight together” she replied, eyeing each of the boys encroaching on them.

“Oh..I’ll fight you princess” Murphy said before he grabbed hold of her arm and yanked her to the ground. Finn rushed to her, pushing Murphy away. Bellamy tried to get to her, but the crowd over took him and he had no choice but to surrender. 

Finn and Murphy stood over each side of Clarke on the ground, glaring into each other.

“You fight girls…that’s big of you” Finn snarked at him.

“If I were to fight her” he glanced at Clarke then back at Finn “she wouldn’t be laying there” he looked back down at Clarke. “There are other guys in this camp that wouldn’t be so easy on you” he walked away from them without another word. It was then that Clarke realized that Murphy hadn’t been jaded by Earth yet. Unlike in her premonition, Bellamy hadn’t called on him to lead an uprising, he hadn’t been betrayed by him and hanged for Well murder, hadn’t been tortured by the grounders…instead he was the guy he should have been. The one he had always been before she met him.

Finn helped her to her feet and they chased after the mob and into the camp. Clarke stormed up to Wells. “You can’t do this Wells”

Wells looked imperial stare added to her frustration. “He’s a murderer. Why are you defending him” he questioned.

The crowd moved towards them and Clarke’s eyes met Bellamy’s while they held him. The moment was interrupted by movement in the sky. All eyes shifted upward as they watched something moving quickly through the stars.

“What’s that?” murmured through the crowd.

“It’s the exodus ship” Clarke said, her body flooded with dread with the memory of the last time she spoke the words.

 _It’s different this time._  She reminded herself _I can save them this time_

_Another flash of light in the sky caught their attention, then another, and another._

_“What’s that?” A boy asked._

Clarke watched, as she had before, as each section of the Ark descended through the atmosphere.

“The Ark” she said gravely as shot a look at Bellamy, then Finn.

“Too fast” she heard Wells say as he watched in horror as the pieces of the Ark crashed, one by one, into the Earth. Each piece landing with a blaze. Shock filled each of the hundred as they helplessly watched their home crash and burn in the land around them.

 _Mount Weather_ the thought shred Clarke apart as she watched the massacre occurring around them. Leaving her to wonder, which fiery crash was the one her mother had lost her life to. She refused to delude her thoughts with hope of her survival.

This was Earth.

There was no hope.


	54. The More Things Change....

One by one the shattered teenagers fell to the forest floor as they gazed in horror at the blazes burning in the distance. Helpless and terrified as they watched their home, the only life they had ever known burn. The grief for their loved ones striking them hard through their young hearts. Finn stumbled backwards as if the vision had literally pushed him away. Even Wells couldn’t maintain his composure as the weight of the blaze seared through him.

The Ark was gone.

His father was dead.

They were alone.

Minutes….hours…seconds…passed…their inability to comprehend the gravity of what had happened rendered them unable to calculate the time that had passed. The sound of metal bouncing over the ground caught only Clarke’s attention. Panic coursed through her veins as she watched the familiar red smoke escape the canisters around them. She tried not to breath. Tried to warn the others, but her efforts were useless against the thick chemicals that engulfed the air around her. Each of them fell to the ground.

Clarke awoke in the eerily familiar white decontamination room of Mount Weather. This time she wasn’t alone. Finn shared the room with her. There were more survivors this time. Mount Weather did not have the ability to house them all separately. She rushed to Finn’s sleeping body.

“Finn” she shook him

“Finn!” she called more frantic this time. Finn’s eyes opened slowly, squinting as they adjusted to the bright light of the room.  
“What happened?” he asked groggily.

Clarke considered telling him that Mount Weather was responsible for crashing the Ark and the Exodus ship, but decided against it. She knew if she was going to save the hundred that she couldn’t have them waging war on Mount Weather. She was determined to not repeat that massacre. She needed to get to them out of here. Escape, and go to the sea where Lincoln had once told her there were people there that would help.

“We’re inside Mount Weather” she informed him

“Mount Weather?” he questioned as he sat upright, “as in the people that-” Clarke’s hand shot over Finn’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. She used her eyes to motion to the camera behind her, Finn caught on.

“Where’s everyone else?” he asked dropping off the bed and onto his feet.

“I don’t know” she said then moved to the door to peer out the circular window. She was surprised to find figures moving quickly through the door opposite hers. The one she had once seen Monty through. Only this time, it wasn’t Monty….it was. She continued to watch, trying to figure out what was causing the commotion…then she understood.

It was Bellamy….and Wells….fighting.

She pounded on her door, screaming at them to stop. She knew that leaving them trapped in a room together, fighting, would lead to one of them killing the other. She repeated her actions as before, breaking the tiny window and escaping with a bloodied arm. Finn shouted at her to stop, but it was already done. She flew across the hall and swung their door open. She stormed into the room, shouting at both men.

“Bellamy!”

“Wells!”

They paid her no mind as they continued their battle with each other. Clarke finally stepped in and grabbed a hold of Wells arm, he jerked away from her. She snatched his arm back, being forcefully swung along with it as he threw another punch at Bellamy. Clarke stumbled, and Bellamy caught steadied her as her back slammed into his chest. He grabbed her arm and held it up.

“What happened?” he demanded as he stared at the blood oozing down her arm.

“Let go of her!” Wells demanded, grabbing Clarkes arm and holding it in front of her so he could examine it. “Who did this to you?” he demanded

“She did it to herself trying to stop you two from fighting” Finn answered from the doorway.

Wells glared at him.

“Wells, we need to get out of here” she said, pulling her arm out of his grasp. “We can’t fight each other”

“I’m not going anywhere with him” he glared at Bellamy “He caused this! He did this! If my father hadn’t been weakened by the bullet that _he_ put in him, then he would have brought the Ark down safety”

“Wells, he didn’t do this” Clarke told him, her hands on his biceps holding him back.

“The Ark is gone” she said bluntly “Our parents are dead” she took a deep breath “None of that can be blamed on one person. Especially not Bellamy. We need him to get out of here. To survive”

Her eyes pleaded with his, but Wells was too consumed with his hatred. Too much had happened, too much to comprehend intellectually, so he was left with primal instincts. That and the need to blame someone. Blaming Bellamy somehow rationalized the great injustice of the massacre of the Ark in Wells mind.

He lunged once again at Bellamy, knocking Clarke out of his way. She tumbled to the ground, hitting her head against the wall as she fell. Finn dropped by her side, scooping her into his arms. Bellamy had tripped over a fallen table giving Wells the leg up on him. Bellamy lay flat on his back while Wells straddled his hips and rained punched on him. Bellamy struggled to move him. Suddenly the room filled with guards in Hazmat suits.  

“Stand down!” one ordered as they aimed their weapons on Wells. Wells, however, showed no signs of stopping. His rage was the only thing driving him. Bellamy stopped struggling beneath him, for fear of what the guards may do.

“Stand down!” the guard barked out again

Wells couldn’t hear him though. The only sound Wells heard was the haunting crashing of the Ark as it plummeted into the Earth. The guard shot Wells, leaving him to crumple to the floor beside Bellamy.

“No!” Clarke cried and tried to rush to Wells but Finns strong arms held her back. Finn’s arms circled around her waist as he stood behind her. His grip firmly holding her in place.

Bellamy lay dumbstruck on the floor as Wells blood seeped out of him and he lay lifeless beside him. Bellamy’s eyes were wide as he took in the scene. He did his best not to move, trying to refrain from giving the guard cause to shoot him too. Two guards grabbed Wells arms and dragged him from the room. Clarke’s cries echoed off the walls through the hallway as they took him away. She crumbled in Finn’s arms, and he held her weight as her knees buckled beneath her. The guards filed out to the room then locked the door behind them.

Bellamy was frozen on the floor, still taking in what had just happened. Finn dropped to the floor with Clarke, cradling her in his arms as he tried to comfort her. One haunting thought circled through Clarke's mind.

_I couldn't save him....again_


	55. ...The More They Stay the Same

The trio was frozen in shock, Finn and Bellamy left unable to comprehend the murder that just played out before them. Clarke devastated that she lost her life-long friend….again. Their eyes locked on the door which Wells’s bloodied body had been dragged through for an insurmountable amount of time. Slowly their eyes shifted onto each other.

“I thought you said they were nice at first…chocolate cake and all” Bellamy said to Clarke, his face still veiled with disbelief.

Clarke sucked in a heavy breath, her eyes darkened by the weight of Wells death. “They were, I don’t understand” she replied

“So what now?” Finn asked, anxious to evacuate the murderous mountain as soon as possible.

Bellamy climbed to his feet and stood tall, “Now we get the rest of our people and get the hell out of here before they-”   Clarke leapt to her feet and pushed her hand over Bellamy’s mouth to silence him. Her eyes told him what her lips couldn’t.

_They don’t know about the bone marrow yet, let’s keep it that way-or we’re dead._

Bellamy caught onto the nonverbal message and Clarke’s hand slowly released his mouth.

“How do we get out of here?” he asked recovering from the near fatal blab

“I don’t know” Clarke sighed.

“You escaped last time, you can do it again” Bellamy shouted in a hushed tone.

“ _I_ got out, with one grounder…not 97 people!” She responded.

Bellamy’s hand raked over his face as he realized the challenge before them. Finn moved to the door and peered out of the small window. “Is everyone in separate rooms?” he asked

“Yes, looks like their doubled up” Clarke replied trying to shake of the death of Wells and refocus on a plan of action. Finn turned back around to face them.

“You’re bleeding!” Finn told her, grabbing her arm. She had forgotten about the injury during the scuffle. She pulled her arm away, “its fine” she mumbled then grabbed the sheet off the bed and tore off a strip. She wrapped the strip around her arm and tied it over the wound.

Bellamy watched for moment then moved across the room to the door, then looked through the window. “I need to find my sister”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Finn asked stepping towards Clarke.

“Someone’s coming” Bellamy warned them backing away from the door. Two guards enter followed by Dante.

“Welcome to Mount Weather” he greeted them with a warm smile

“Hell of a welcome” Bellamy responded coldly, his body tensing.

Regret welled in Dante’s eyes, “I am deeply sorry for the regrettable action of the guards. They were only following our laws. We do not tolerate violence here. What they have done, it was to protect you. I understand my condolences may not bring you comfort, but I would like to reunite you with the rest of your people and properly welcome you now that you’ve been through the decontamination phase”

Bellamy scoffed at him, but Clarke stepped up “take us to them” her authoritative tone gave her instant respect. Dante nodded, “follow me” he smiled. Clarke gave a kirk nod at Bellamy and Finn as they eyed her wearily. Hesitantly they followed, constantly aware and alert of their surroundings.

They walked down the long hallway and followed the path to the elevators. Dante pressed the button and the elevator moved upwards. “I want you to feel at home here, we’ve brought you clothes and-”

“We don’t need them” Clarke glared at him. She caught her mistake, and moved her head to face forward again.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. The familiarity of the hallway loomed in Clarke’s heart. Memories of what happened before seared through her lungs causing her breathing to become shallow and rapid. 

“You okay?” Finn whispered in her ear as he noticed her sudden change. She nodded without looking at him, continuing to follow Dante to the familiar dorm room.

“These two rooms are what we have to offer your people. We’ve separate the males and the females to provide a more comfortable environment for you. But you’re welcome in both rooms” Dante informed them, gesturing to the two doors near them. Bellamy opened the first door, his eyes wild searching for Octavia. As soon as his eyes landed on her, he crossed the room in four long strides and pulled her into a tight embrace. A breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding released from his lungs as he smiled at her.

“I was wondering when you were coming to the party big brother” she smiled up at him. A grim feeling washed over him with the innocence of her voice. The understanding that she was unaware of the danger encompassing them forced his grip on her to tighten. “Can’t-breathe” she choked out. He relaxed his arms and turned to face Dante.

“I’m staying with my sister” he informed Dante

Dante hesitated before responding, “She will be safe here, and it would be more comfortable for everyone if we keep you separated. You’re free to visit in here at any time”

Bellamy’s jar clenched and his muscle twitched, Clarke crossed the distance between them placing a soft hand on his arm. “I’ll take the bunk under hers, she’ll be okay” she comforted him.

Bellamy glared at her for a while before conceding to the determination in her eyes. He put his faith in the fact that she put herself on the line to save him before.

“Will you allow my physician to look at that wound” Dante asked Clarke, gesturing to the bloodied makeshift bandage on her arm. Clarke glanced down as if she had forgotten about the deep gash all together. She hesitated before responding. That physician had butchered her people in her premonition…she wasn’t sure how she would react to interacting with her.

“Its fine” she declined.

“Looks pretty bad” Octavia said glancing at her arm “Come on Princess, I’ve always wanted to see someone get stiches!” she bounced up beside her.  Bellamy’s fingers quickly wrapped around Octavia’s arm, “you’re not doing with her”.

“I assure you they will be safe” Dante comforted him. Bellamy glowered back at him, while Octavia attempted to jerk her arm free. “You can’t tell me what to do!” she snapped at him.

“I’ll go” Clarke said to Dante then glanced back at Octavia, “alone” she added. She knew she may be walking into the lions den and wasn’t going to bring Octavia into it with her. Octavia pouted and stomped off into the dorm room.

“Go with her” he ordered to Finn.

“No!” Clarke snapped at him, “I’m going alone”

Bellamy stepped into her, narrowing his eyes, “No one is going anywhere in here alone”. His typical non-negotiable tone left Clarke unable to argue the matter further. She turned back to Dante, giving him a nod. He smiled and led them to the medical rooms on the other level.

“Hello Clarke, such a pleasure to meet you. I’m Dr. Tsing” Dr. Tsing said with a smile, extending her hand to her. Clarke looked at her hand as if were a snake waiting to bite her. She moved her eyes to stare into the doctors and felt as though she was looking at the devil in person.

The doctor awkwardly withdrew her hand, meeting Dante’s eyes with a questioning look. Have a seat and I’ll take a look at your arm. Clarke moved to sit on the exam table, her body tense and on guard. Finn caught on and stood to her non-injured side. He rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he kept a watchful eye on the doctor. ‘Dr. Tsing removed the bloodied rag and cleansed the gash. Finn flinched as he watched, unable to understand how Clarke sat unwavering through what had to be a painful procedure. What he didn’t understand was that Clarke had endured so many injuries before, or so she thought, that the pain had become secondary to everything else.

*  
After her wound had been stitched back together, Clarke and Finn were taken to the dining hall for dinner. She immediately scanned the room for Bellamy, quickly finding him sitting across from Octavia and scowling at a teenage boy sitting beside her. Clarke crossed the room with Finn in tow and took the seat next to Bellamy; Finn stole a chair from a nearby table and sat on the end next to her.

“How’s your arm?’ Bellamy asked her glancing at the new stiches.

“Okay” she gave him a tight smile, and then scanned the room again.

“They’ve been here for three day” he whispered leaning into her. “Why did they wait so long to bring us up here?”

She met his gaze when he pulled back, then whispered back, “they would have told them Wells was leading them, and I was close to him…they probably wanted to separate them from any kind of leadership to prevent any push back” Bellamy stared at her for a minute then ground his teeth as the teenage boy brushed chocolate icing off Octavia’s mouth with his thumb then licked it.  Clarke placed a hand on his thigh urging him to stay there and not attack the guy.

“When does chocolate cake turn into draining our people of their bone marrow” he whispered in a low growl to her. “We’ll find a way out” she assured him. She slid a pen out of her sleeve that she stole from the medical area and pulled her napkin in front of her. She made quick work of drawing a design on it. “We need to steal some of these” she showed it to Bellamy. Bellamy studied the cylindrical drawing, “What is it?” he asked.

“It keeps the reapers away. If we can get a few of them, we can sneak people out in small groups at a time so they don’t notice” she whispered back. “The reapers wait for bodies to be tossed into the tunnels; these will scare to let us escape”

Bellamy studied the drawing again then grabbed the napkin and shredded it into dozens tiny pieces. His eyes locked back on the teenage boy flirting with his sister. “Where do we find them” he whispered again, his anger evident in his low voice.

“The guards carry them on their belts”

“How do you purpose we get them off their belts?” Finn asked leaning in.

“I don’t know” she shook her head.

“Where are you going?!” He barked at Octavia as she rose to her feet with the boy.

“Back to the dorm” she replied with irritation. She spun on her heel and pulled the boy with her before Bellamy could get another word in. Bellamy shot to his feet but Clarke gripped his arm and tugged down, “don’t draw attention!” she snapped at him.

“I’m not letting my sister be alone in a room with one of _these_ people” he growled at her.

“She’s going to the dorm, there are thirty four other girls that share the room-they won’t be alone” she reminded him. Bellamy glared off in the direction that Octavia had disappeared to, fighting against his instincts to follow her. He begrudgingly reclaimed his seat.

“He’s right” lifting his eyes to Finn, “they aren’t just going o hand those over”

Clarke thought for a few moments before an idea came to mind, “then we need a thief” she smiled.

“A thief?” He asked skeptically.

She nodded towards Miller, “who better to steal something?” Finn said approvingly.

“Need I remind you that he was _caught_ for _stealing_ …not exactly a good thief” Bellamy retorted.

“He can do it” Clarke assures him. Bellamy let out a sigh then stood and moved to Miller. Suddenly alarms screeched throughout the dining hall, and red lights flashed near the ceilings. The hundred’s eyes darted around panicked. The mountain people continued with their meals without concern for the obnoxious noise. “Octavia” Bellamy’s tight voice strained with worried as he ran towards the dorm. Doors closed before him as he neared the doorway to the dining room. He pounded his fist into the door to no avail.

“It’s a containment breech, the doors will open once it’s secure” One of the mountain people informed him. “My sisters out there!” he barked at them.

“Your people are unaffected by radiation, the breech is only a threat to us. She will be fine” they assured him. Clarke and Finn approached him from behind by the end of the conversation.

“I should’ve gone with her” he growled at Clarke

“You couldn’t have stopped this, like they said the radiation doesn’t hurt us. She’ll be fine” the lie slipped through Clarke’s teeth without hesitation. She knew it would do him no good to worry over her until the alarms ceased, but she wasn’t convinced that the alarm wasn’t some sort of ploy.

The alarms continued to scream for fifteen minutes before they stopped. Bellamy was out the doors the second they opened and he ran through the hall to the dorm. Finn was able to keep up, Clarke struggled from behind.

The second Bellamy laid eyes on Octavia he grabbed her in his arms, “Thank God you’re okay O” he breathed in her hair. “Bell it was awful, his skin went red….it was like he was burning” she sobbed into his chest as she fisted his shirt.

‘but you’re okay, right?” he asked holding her back so he could examine her for injuries.

“I’m fine, he-he screamed! It hurt him so bad……we were just sitting there and then….and then…” her sobs overwhelmed him and he pulled her back to him. Clarke glanced around the room, while ran to the other dorm. He came back panting, “no one’s missing” he reported.

Clarke nodded “we need to get those devices” she told them.

“She gets out in the first group” Bellamy said nodding down at Octavia.

“You too”’ Clarke told him.

“I’m not going anywhere Bell” Octavia’s head snapped back to look up at him.

“O...” he started, the aggravation building for the fight she was undoubtedly about to start.

“I’m not leaving him Bell; he’s hurt “she pulled away from him

“You don’t even know him” he said with half a laugh.

Octavia’s response was interrupted by Dr. Tsing’s arrival. “How is he?” she asked pushing passed Clarke and Finn.

Bellamy quickly came up beside her. “Not good” She reported directly to Octavia.

“What can I do? I can do something right? Please tell me I can help him! He came in here because of me, it’s my fault” The words ran together as they rapidly flew out of her mouth.

“Well there is one thing.  It’s experimental”

“I’ll do it!” Octavia replied excitedly.

“No!” Clarke snapped moving to the other side of Octavia.

“Shut up Princess-you can’t stop me!” Octavia sassed back at Clarke.

“I can” Bellamy said gaining her attention “O, you’re _not_ doing this”

“I want to help. He wouldn’t have been here if -“

“No-O. This isn’t up for discussion” he warned. Octavia stormed her foot; “you can’t tell me what to do” she shot back then stepped towards Dr. Tsing. Bellamy grabbed hold of her arm pulling her back but Octavia fought him. “Don’t do this Bell, if something happens to him-I’ll never forgive you” she threatened.

 Clarke could see this fight was going nowhere, and she knew Octavia well enough to know the second Bellamy wasn’t looking…she would bolt down to medical and do It anyway.

“I’ll do it” she told Dr. Tsing. Octavia’s fury was now focused on her, and Bellamy glared at her.

“Clarke, no” he breathed looking at her as if she had completely lost it.

“She’ll just go when you aren’t looking” she explained to him alone “I’ll do it”. The weight of her offer didn’t evade Bellamy. He knew this could very well be her last action.

“No” he repeated.

“Maybe there is someone else” Dr. Tsing offered with false sincerity.

“I’ll do it” Clarke repeated. Bellamy grabbed her arm pulling her to the side.

“Have you lost your damn mind!” he snapped at her. She gazed out over the others, “get them out of here” she said looking back into his eyes.

“Clarke. No.” he repeated, slightly deflated.

“It’ll buy you some time.” She shook her head slightly, “get them out of here” she pushed a piece of paper into his hand “follow this. Go to the grounders by the sea, they can be allies”. She fought the tears brimming in her eyes as she realized this could be good-bye.

“I’m not letting you do this” he said gripping her arm tighter as he struggled to gain control over the situation.

“I know” she nodded.

She looked back at Dr. Tsing “You need blood right?” she asked.

“Clarke, you’re not doing this” he growled, his grip now bruising on her arm.

“Yes, the treatment would require running his blood through your system” Dr. Tsing replied with a gleam in her eye.

Clarke’s eyes dropped down with a nod, and then she looked back at Bellamy. “Take care of them” she whispered to him, and then gave him a gentle kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. She needed to feel him….just once more... He held her until she finally pulled away from him.

“They’re factory station, they’re blood is toxic” She said with her eyes locked on Bellamy.His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing. “Clarke” he breathed. She turned her head back to Dr. Tsing “the prenatal care for them involved a drug to eradicate their station over a generation” she looked back at Bellamy, “ _this_ generation”. This time she turned all the way to Tsing and walked back to her. “The Ark was running out of air slowly, they needed a massive decrease in population for our generation to survive. Factory station was considered expendable. They don’t even know they’ll die from it before they turn thirty” Clarke glanced around the room once more at her friends “If you put _their_ blood in _your_ people, it will kill them. “She stared back at Dr. Tsing. “Your guards killed the only other person _not_ from factory station”.

“Clarke” Bellamy called to her. She looked back at him and mouthed “save them”


	56. The Inevitable

Finn and Bellamy watched helplessly as Clarke followed Dr. Tsing to the medical unit. Finn moved beside Bellamy.

“Any of that true?” he asked Bellamy.

Bellamy glared sideways at him. Finns eyes shot back to the direction Clarke had left in as his breaths shortened. “Yeah. Didn’t think so” he breathed. He took a heavy breath then turned to Bellamy.

“What are we gonna do?” he asked.

Bellamy’s eyes dropped to the floor as he sucked in a heavy breath. His eyes slowly drew up to Finn.

“Get everyone out of this damn mountain” he regrettably replied.

Shock plastered over Finns face, “She went in there to die!” he snapped at him

“Don’t you think I know that!” Bellamy snapped back at him, planting his hands on his hips

“So, what? You’re just going to let them kill her” Finn accused stepping into him, prepared for a fight.

“I’m goin to do what she asked me to” He glared back “I’m going to get our people out of here” his eyes narrowed. “And then, I’m going to get her. She bought us time. It won’t take them long to figure out the bullshit she spun-we need to act fast”

“So we just leave her to suffer while we save everyone else” he gleamed.

Bellamy leaned into him, “Which is why we shouldn’t be wasting time arguing about this” he pushed into his shoulder as he moved back into the dorm to talk to Miller.

*Clarke*

Clarke adjusted herself on the bed in the medical unit as Dr. Tsing approached with the IV needle.

“So your people understood the relevance of sacrificing the few to benefit the many” she presumed.

She tired to smother the glare she gave her. The full meaning of her words wasn’t lost on Clarke. She simply nodded and refrained from verbalizing an answer. She watched as Dt. Tsing cleansed her skin then punctured in with the needle, slowly pushing the catheter into her. Dr. Tsing pulled out a syringe. “What’s that?” Clarke asked as she connected the syringe to her IV. “Just some pain meds” she answered “this treatment can be painful”

“I don’t want….any…” Clarke quickly drifted out of consciousness.

*Bellamy*

“Got it” Miller said, proudly presenting the peculiar sound device.

Bellamy took it in his hands; it was the tenth one they had collected. Miller had recruited a few other thieves, and they made quick work of commandeering the devices.

“Okay” he breathed. “Divide in groups of ten” he commanded. “You and you” he pointed to Miller and Murphy. “Will stay with my sister once I get you out of here. Anything happens to her-you _will_ pay” he threatened.

“We’ll take care of her” Murphy replied

The two went off to divide up the groups. “You’re not leaving?” Finn questioned

Bellamy turned to him, “I told you, I’ll get Clarke out of here”

Finn glanced over the group, “get them out first” he looked back at Bellamy. “I’ll get Clarke”

Bellamy looked him over as he contemplated the idea. “ _They_ need a leader. We’ll meet you at the exit she drew for us. If we’re not there by the time you get the rest out” Finn caught his eye “then it’s up to you if you come back or you stay with them”. While Bellamy wasn’t a hundred percent on board with his idea, he understood the logic of it. “If you aren’t there, I’m coming back after you” he nodded then turned back to lead the first group out.

Finn nodded then took off to find the medical unit.

*Clarke*

It took Clarke several long minutes to force her eyes open. Her body felt heavy, lethargic. She mustered the strength to sit up; scanning the room she noticed she was alone. The boy that had once flirted with Octavia was nowhere to be seen. She noticed a closet ajar with clothes in it. Shy dragged her tired body off the bed and over to the closet, pulling a pair of white pants over her legs. There was an aching pain in one of her legs, but it was near the panther bite so she paid it no mind. She pulled off the hospital gown that she was wearing and pulled on a bra and white tank top. She found a pair of socks and shoes and put them on too. She climbed up into the vent that she had done before, and crawled through it in the opposite direction she had done in her premonition. She couldn’t leave until she knew everyone else was safe. She knew the other direction was one way; she wouldn’t be able to get back to her people that way. Her body was so heavy, each movement took great effort. She crawled until she reached a room that looked empty. She pushed the grate off the vent and dropped into the room. Once she was able to reclaim her footing she surveyed the room with her eyes. She stopped when they landed on a body on a table covered with a white sheet.

She approached the table, and pulled the sheet back without hesitation.

Wells

Her breath caught in her lungs, the sight was a lot to take in. Something pushed her to pull the sheet all the way off him, she didn’t know what…but she didn’t fit it. She pulled the sheet to the floor and assessed his body with her eyes.

The shot he took to his abdomen had a dressing over it, as well as a few other areas. Curiosity got the best of her as she pulled the dressing off his hip.

A hole…a large hole

She quickly ripped the dressing off his thigh

Another large hole

She reached over him pulling off each of the dressings, each revealing another hole.

 _They knew_ she thought _they already knew they needed our marrow_

Her hand absentmindedly brushed over the ache in her leg. She didn’t need to look to know what had happened. They didn’t drug her for dialysis; it was to take her marrow. Panic soared through her; she needed to get out of there. She needed to get her people out of there.

*Bellamy*

He watched as the fifth group turned on their device and had the reapers cowering once again from the sound. The group safety made it passed them. Bellamy turned back

_Come on Clarke_

He thought as he headed back for another group

*Clarke*

Clarke raced down the hall until she slammed into a hard body.

“Clarke!” Finn exclaimed in relief. He pulled her into a quick hug, “I thought I’d never find you”

“Finn we need to get out of here, they know” She said rushed.

“Know what?”

“Wells” she shook “he…he wasn’t dead…they killed him” she looked at him with glassy eyes. “They drained him of his marrow”

“No…he was dead” Finn replied confused.

“Finn, they bandaged the gunshot. Why would they have done that if he was dead?”

Realization washed over him and his eyes darted up and around them.

“How do we get out of here” He asked

“No. We need to go back for the others” she said exasperated

“Their fine” he said his eyes still shifting around them

“We can’t leave them” She explained. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and stared in her his “Bellamy’s getting them out of here as we speak, we need to go. I told him we’d meet be the exit”. Clarke nodded and took note of where they were. “This way” she said heading down a hall.

They raced through the corridors until they heard movement behind them. Finn grabbed her waist and swung open the nearest door then pushed her inside and followed. He carefully shut the door silently.

“Murphy!” Clarke exclaimed just above a whisper. She fell to the ground beside him. Finn tried to take in the sight. Several of the hundred lay lifeless, piled on top of each other on the floor. The movement in the hall grew louder causing Finn to push Clarke to lie down beside Murphy’s body. “Shh” he whispered with his finger over her lips.  He turned around and lay on top of her. Once they heard the door open they held their breaths.

“Well this was better than wasting our food and supplies on them” a guard remarked as he tossed a body on top of Finn.

“Yea, better just give them the drugs the doc gave us to kill them so she can harvest them all tonight”

Another guard agreed.

“I heard they aren’t even sure if we can take the marrow from these ones. They said their blood is poisons” One guard questioned.

“Yea, the blonde one said that..That’s why Tsing didn’t drain her completely. She wants to question her further on it.” Another body landed near them. “Either way” the guard kicked Murphy’s feet “They aren’t worth our soiled linens”

Something inside Clarke froze, she recognized that voice.

Emerson

*Bellamy*

Bellamy had been waiting impatiently for Clarke and Finn for countless minutes.

“Come on” he thought to himself. He glanced back into Mount Weather through the vent.

“Screw it” he muttered the climbed back in to find the missing two.

*Clarke*

Finn waiting for a few minutes after the guards left before pushing the body on top of him off. He rolled over and onto his knees. Clarke sat up and brushed a hand over Murphy’s cheek.

She froze

“He’s warm” she whispered

“What?” Finn asked with disgust. It was bad enough they were surrounded by bodies, but now she was touching them.

“He’s still warm” she repeated with confidence. She pulled him out from under the other body half over him. She pushed her fingers to his carotid artery on his neck. She looked back at Finn smiling, “he’s alive!” she exclaimed then reached over him and felt another body. “They’re all alive!” she beamed, “They must have sedated them or something” Finn watched her with skepticism.  She caught on to his disbelief and grabbed hand, pushing it to Murphy’s neck. His muscled stiffened, until he felt a thread pulse under his fingers. His eyes met Clarkes “Oh my God” he whispered with a smile.

They worked quickly to gently pull the bodies apart and lay them out separately. Clarke assessed each of them to ensure they were still alive.

“Why would they leave them alive?” Finn questioned as he moved Millers body.

“Marrow needs the blood to be circulated by the heart or it will clot, they won’t be able to use it at that point. They must know this and plan to drill into them alive”

“Like Wells?” he asked grimly

Clarke’s eyes dropped as she nodded.

The door opened and a guard entered carelessly dragging a body behind him. Finn jumped to his feet and moved in front of Clarke.

“Octavia!” she cried running to the body behind the guard, Finn reached to grab her, but missed.

The guard grabbed her arm twisting it behind her back and slammed her chest into the wall before she reached Octavia. Finn crossed the room in three strides, pulling the guard by the shoulders off of Clarke. The guard spun around and blindly slammed a fist into Finns shoulder. Clarke ran between the two “No! Emerson Stop!” She shouted.

Emerson stopped and glanced down briefly at his uniform to ensure his name tape wasn’t on…it wasn’t.

“How do you know me name?” he demanded

Finn tried to gently pull Clarke back behind him, but she squirmed out of his grasp each time.

“You’re the one Tsing said has the answers” he said with an evil grin.

“What’s in the medicine that was given to the rest of your people?” He asked. Clarke ground down on her teeth as her jaw locked. She raised her chin and stood tall, her stance revealing her adamancy to not answer.

Emerson grinned again, “that’s how you want this to go?” he asked. Clarke remained silent.

Emerson released his gun from his belt. The other two guards entered “Grab him” he ordered them nodding to Finn. “And unless you want me to shoot her, you should let them” he told Finn

“No!” Clarke shouted as she fought off the guards.  Finn allowed himself to be detained.”No!” Clarke shouted again pulling at the guards arms.

“Enough!” Emerson barked at her, his gun pointed at Octavia. “I’m going to guess you already know they aren’t dead. Yet.” He smirked “Keep fighting them and this one will be” he said holding his gun over Octavia’s head.

Clarke looked back at Finn then stepped away from him and turned back to face Emerson.

“What do you want?” she asked

“I want to know what was in the medicine” he asked again “so we can find an antidote”

Clarke gave a small shake of her head. Emerson moved to Finn and pressed the barrel of his gun against his forehead.

“Maybe he’s more motivation for you” he threatened.

“No! Stop!” She pleaded.

“You gonna tell me?” he asked

She shook her head violently, “there is no antidote” she replied with a shaky voice. Before she could blink Emerson had aimed his gun back at Octavia and pulled the trigger. Clarke ran to her the moment her mind caught up with her eyes. She collapsed on the floor beside her. She pressed her hands to the new hole in her head as the blood poured out of her. She cried uncontrollably.

Emerson grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up by it then dragged her back over to Finn.

“Now” he aimed his gun back at Finn

“ _What_ is the antidote” he asked again with a creepy calm

“They weren’t given anything!” she cried out

Another shot rang out; this time Emerson had shot Murphy

“No!” Clarke cried as she watched the blood seep of Murphy’s abdomen.

“The next shot goes through him” Emerson said pointing to Finn with his gun. Clarke fought her way out of his grasp and rushed in front of Finn, reaching behind her to grab his hips and hold him against her.

“I lied to her so she wouldn’t hurt them. We are from different stations, but there’s nothing wrong with them.” The words flew out of her mouth as she pleaded with him.

“Let’s test that theory” he said then grabbed his radio from his belt and called for backup. A moment later four guards raced in.

“Grab that one, he shouldn’t be dead yet” he ordered them pointing to Murphy.

“That one’s dead, give her to the reapers” he pointed to Octavia.

One guard grabbed Octavia and dropped her body through a shoot in the wall. Two others carried Murphy.

“Take him to Tsing” One of the guards grabbed Clarke as the other two held onto Finn as Emerson led them through the halls. Once they were in the room the guards dropped Murphy on the table

“What is this!? I told you not to shoot-” Emerson interrupted Tsing “She claims she’s lying about the poison”

Tsing’s eyes shot to Clark and turned to a hard glare. “I have someone to test it on” she said gesturing to a person with severe radiation burns on another bed.

Emerson leaned into Clarke while Tsing gathered her supplies.

“If this doesn’t work-he’s dead” he said nodding to Finn. “How can you do this?” She asked him “we didn’t do anything to you”

“You’re not one of us” he replied coldly.

Tsing began drilling into Murphy’s femur when he let out a bloodcurdling scream. He was restrained on the table and couldn’t escape Finn and Clarke both fought against the guards holding them to get to him but was unsuccessful. Murphy’s scream seared their ears. Tsing finished with him and took the marrow to the other patient.

“He’ll die soon if this doesn’t work, so he’s the perfect test subject” She injected him with the marrow. A moment went by as the room stood frozen. Without warn Emerson turned and shot Finn in the head causing him to drop instantly to the floor  “lying bitch” he accused Clarke. Clarke screamed as she could feel her heart break apart, her knees gave out and she would have fallen to the floor if the guard behind her wasn’t holding her up.

“Would you stop shooting them. It’s not an instantaneous process it will take a half hour” Dr. Tsing scolded him.

“Go back and get the rest of the bodies, I got this one” he ordered to the other guards. The guard holding Clarke released her and she crumbled to the floor. She scooted to Finn, pulling his broken head into her lap as she cried over him.

“It’s working” Dr. Tsing reported with enthusiasm a few minutes late. She grabbed her drill again and returned to Murphy. “No!” Clarke screamed when she noticed her. She ran across the room blocking Murphy with her body.

“Oh-you want a closer view?” Emerson asked as Dr. Tsing laughed. Emerson took her handcuffs and tied them to head of the bed, forcing her to stand by Murphy’s head.  She kicked at the doctor when she started the drill “Don’t worry dear, you’re next” the doctor smiled. The drill punctured Murphy’s skin, less than seconds later he let out another scream as he came to life in pain. Clarke kicked and pulled, ripping and tearing her wrists in the handcuffs.

A shot rang out and Clarke covered Murphy as much as she could to protect him. Another shot came. The doctor and Emerson crumbled lifelessly to the floor one after the other. Clarke looked up hesitantly. Bellamy stood in the doorway. He walked over to her and she look down at Murphy,

“Its okay” she comforted him. Bellamy reached around her and released her hands from the handcuffs.  Her bloodied hands held Murphy’s cheeks, “its okay. I can…” she looked down at his leg “I can….”

She looked back into his eyes and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “It’s okay Princess” he said with his usual grin before the life faded out of him. “No!” she sobbed. “Murphy!” she cried to him shaking his shoulders. Bellamy placed a hand on her shoulder gently pulling her away. Clarke felt dizzy, heavy, confused. She starred a Murphy as a dark curtain slowly closed over her vision and she felt something cold on her head.

“Clarke” Bellamy called to her in a concerned voice.

“Clarke” she heard him call again.

Her eyes lids were so heavy, but she managed to force them open a crack. “Thank God” she heard him breath. Then felt his arms go around her and pull her against his chest, she could feel the softness of a bed beneath her.  “She’s awake” he barked out. She blinked a few time until she was able to hold her eyes open better.  She glanced around the dimly lit room…

The bunker…

“She’s awake?” Raven asked as she flew into the room, Murphy in tow.

“Murphy?” Clarke questioned as his face came into view.  He stood beside the opposite side of the bed as Raven “Hey Princess. You-”.

“Murphy!” She exclaimed cutting him off and clamoring away from Bellamy and throwing her arms around his neck. She pulled herself tight against him. Tears streamed down her face as she buried her face in his neck. Murphy slowly wrapped his arms around her, confused by her emotional greeting.

Bellamy watched baffled for a moment then narrowed his eyes and glared at Raven, “What the hell did you give her?”


	57. Altered State of Mind

“I told you, it was one of Abby’s tranquilizers” Raved replied as she stared in confusion as Clarke held onto Murphy like a lifeline. Murphy’s face held the same confusion as he glanced over her at Bellamy and Raven for answers.

“Tranquilizers could not cause _that_ ” Bellamy growled pointing to Clarke.

“Hey!” Murphy remarked

Clarke pulled back from him just enough to hold his face in her hands as she looked him over. “You’re okay” she smiled through teary eyes “You’re okay”

“Just dandy, Princess” he smirked with a raised brow

Her arms wrapped back around his neck and yanked him forcefully back into her embrace.

“I don’t know what on _this planet_ could cause…” disgust plastered over Ravens face as she looked at Clarke and Murphy “... _that_ ” She shuddered and looked over at Bellamy.   
“I only gave her the tranquilizers I stole from Abby so none of you idiots would set Emerson free”

“Emerson!” Clarke’s voice was low and filled with surprise as she jolted back from Murphy. She darted into the other room to find Emerson still tied to the pole in the corner. The other three hot on her heels.

She turned back to Murphy and ran her hands around the waistline of his pants. “Easy Princess!” he said watching her with amusement. Her fingers wrapped around the knife he kept in his waistband and she pulled it out of its sheath turning back to Emerson. Murphy’s arm wrapped around her waist pulling her back.

“Where are you going with that?” he asked

“To do something I should have done a long time ago” her icy voice caught Murphy off-guard and his grip loosened. She pulled away and crossed the room in quickly.

“Here we go again” Raven declared as she through her hands in the air and turned away.

Murphy sensed something was off and followed Clarke, but not fast enough. Clarke plunged the knife into Emerson’s abdomen causing him to double over in pain.

“Clarke!” Bellamy raced over, but Murphy was already pulling her back

“What the hell?” Raven questioned turning back around.

“Let me go!” Clarke squirmed in Murphy’s arms as they tightened around her waist. He walked back a few steps keeping her back held tight against his chest as he did. Bellamy now stood in front of her, “what are you doing?” He questioned, grabbing the wrist of the hand that she held the knife in.

“I’m going to kill him” she said so coldly no one recognized it as her voice. Bellamy’s eyes softened as he slide his hand over hers and pulled at the knife. “Clarke, you don’t want to do that” he said gently. Clarke’s fingers gripped the knife tighter, “let me go”.  Murphy’s grip on her fell loose leaving her free to move to Emerson. Bellamy extended his arms, blocking her with his body as he gave Murphy an annoyed look.

“Hey, if she wants to kill the bastard that tortured her,  I’m all for it” he smirked as he raised his hands in defense.

“Clarke, you don’t know what you’re doing. The drugs in your system aren’t letting you think straight” Bellamy rationalized

“I don’t know, I kinda like the way she’s thinking” Murphy quipped with a lopsided grin…that Bellamy wanted to punch off. Bellamy glared at him then shifted his eyes back to Clarke.

“I know _exactly_ what I’m doing. He killed Miller” she started. Miller raised his hand from the seat he had been watching from “I’m…not dead” he said slowly.

Clarke continued, too focused on her goal to even hear Miller. “And Octavia, and Finn, and Murphy”

“Not dead either” Murphy smirked from behind her.

“They were defenseless and he _killed them”_ she steamed

Bellamy grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently “They aren’t dead” he told her “okay Finn is” he regrettably added “It was a dream” he stared into her “an intense dream”

Clarke stared coldly back at him, “no” she shook her head “it’s what could have happened…what _would_ have happened” she struggled with all of her strength against Bellamy until his grip was bruising on her arms as he shook her to look at him.

“It nearly destroyed you the last time you crossed this line, you don’t want to do this again” he told her.

“This is different” she snarled “he killed them”

Bellamy grabbed her face and forced her eyes to his, “Fine, if you want to kill him you can” he conceded “tomorrow” Clarke’s face hardened.

“With a clear head. But not now, not like this. You need to think about this Clarke”

“No I don’t, he deserves to die” she moved around him only to be pushed back against the wall as his strong hands bit into her arms. “ _That_ ” he said with a tight smile “we agree on” his eyes softened “But your head isn’t right right now, and I don’t want this to push you over the edge” he stared into her “tomorrow. If you still want to kill him, I will hold him for you” one of his hands moved to caress her cheek “just give it a day”.  The gentleness in his chocolate eyes melted her rendering her unable to protest any further. He felt her give in, even though she never said it. He slid the knife from her hand then wrapped his other arm around her waist and guided her back to the room. He paused briefly to hand the knife back to Murphy behind Clarkes back.  He nodded at Miller to tend to Emerson.

Once in the room he guided Clarke to sit on the bed. “Are you okay?” he asked her with concern.

She thought before responding “no” she shook her head. He wrapped an arm behind her then pulled her to him.

“It was so real” she trembled, “he killed them. They were defenseless and he just killed them”

“It was just a dream Clarke” he responded gently

She shook her head and pulled back to look at him. “It felt so real. I held Finn…and Murphy as they slipped away”

“So _that’s_ what the whole weird Murphy hug was about. Damn Clarke I thought the drugs made you crazy” Raven quipped while she leaned against the dresser.

“Don’t be jealous that I brought her to tears” Murphy smirked from the doorway

“You bring everyone you meet to tears” she shot back without missing a beat.

“So how did I die in this dream of yours?” Murphy asked moving towards Clarke “was I fighting someone? Did I stick it to-” Murphy joked

“They drugged you, then shot you, then drilled into you for bone marrow” she interrupted

Murphy was quiet for a moment before responding “well that sucks”

Clarke nodded grimly.  “I couldn’t save you” her tears brimmed her eyes as they caught his. The vivid memory physically overtook her and her body trembled. “Hey” Murphy said with an uncharacteristic softness to his voice as he kneels in front of her “I’m okay Princess” he smiled at her, with a hand on her outer thigh. “I can never save anyone” she said as a sob pushed through her. Murphy leaned onto his knees and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. “You saved me” he said into her blonde locks “more times than I can say” he buried his face in her hair as he held her tenderly.

Bellamy and Raven eyed him as though he had grown a second head.

“Okay, I must be the one that’s drugged and dreaming now” Raven quipped


	58. Tact

“Yeah…okay” Bellamy interrupted the tender, yet awkward moment.  “Clarke, you should get some rest”

Murphy realized his slip and pulled away from Clarke, looking anywhere but in her direction.

“What even happened?” Clarke asked her eyes heavy, but her curiosity heavier.

“Raven” Bellamy said with an underlying irritation “decided that injecting you with tranquilizers would prevent anyone from setting Emerson free” Bellamy gave Raven a sideways glare, that Clarke’s eyes followed without the aggression. Her brows scrunched together asking the question that never passed her lips.

Raven crossed her arms defensively “What? I should have let her continue to try to set him free until the snow let up? Yeah I don’t think so” she averted Clarkes questioning gaze.

“Nobody was going to set him free” Bellamy groaned, rolling his eyes.

“You drugged me?” Clarke finally questioned her

Raven finally looked at her and took in a breath, “You were acting crazy. Somebody had to do something-I mean you even had _Bellamy_ on board with letting that asshole go”

“I was _not_ going to let him go” Bellamy growled, still facing Clarke with his back to Raven

“Could’ve fooled me” she retorted

“I told you” Bellamy jumped to his feet and turned to her “I was pushing her, she was on the edge. I j-”

“EXACTLY” Raven cut him off “she was on the edge and so were you” she accused “you can’t separate you feelings for her from what needs to be done” she stepped up to him

Bellamy took a domineering step towards her “so what? I should just drug her when she doesn’t do what I want?” he glowered, towering over her.

“Yea” she replied bluntly “maybe you should” she stepped up to him with a neck roll “ _maybe_ you should realize that she lost it after Mount Weather, _maybe_ if you could get your head out of your pants you would see that she’s _not_  the same person that you keep pretending she is” Raven closed the distance between them, standing as tall as she could to glare into him, “the person we pulled out of that mountain, wasn’t Clarke, she was already gone. And it wasn’t because of Emerson, or Dante, or Cage. She pushed herself too far and couldn’t live with what she did. She’s gone. We’re left with a shell of who she used to be” Raven took a breath and softened as she continued “ I care about her to” she sighed, “but I won’t delude myself into believing that she’s the same” she stepped back “she’s not” With that, Raven turned and exited the room.

Bellamy looked as though someone had reached into his chest and ripped his beating heart from his body. His heart raced as his breathing became ragged. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the room, he couldn’t breathe.  He snapped out of his physical distress as he heard shuffling behind him. Murphy was pulling the covers over Clarke, she was sleeping hard. She looked peaceful. The brutal impact of Raven’s blunt words appeared to be no affective on her.

“She fell asleep sometime through her bitch-fest” Murphy responded, with anger tinged voice.

Bellamy’s hesitation was obvious as he fought every fiber of his being, asking the question he didn’t want the answer to “did she…” the words escaped him while he struggled to force them out “did she-”

“Did she hear that one of her friends thinks she’s so messed up that there’s no coming back from it” Murphy replied aggressively as he moved to stand in front of Bellamy and leaned into him. Bellamy’s heart caught in his throat, those weren’t the exact words he would have used.

“No” distain laced Murphy’s voice, “she didn’t”. There was no confusion as to how Murphy regarded the ruthlessness of Raven’s words, he was angry.

Murphy moved to the doorway before turning back to him, “and you better hope she never does. Because _the second_ you know everyone that you trust sees you the same way you see yourself” his face contorted into stone “then you give up and become that” he growled “you become _exactly_ what people think you are” Murphy looked at Clarke then back to Bellamy, “you have no idea what that can do to you”. Murphy glared at him for a moment before turning and leaving the room, leaving Bellamy without a thought to reply with. Bellamy soaked in the gravity of Murphy’s words before turning his gaze onto Clarke.

He gazed at her for a while before he moved over to her as she lay on the bed. He sat next to her, lightly reaching over and stroking her hair gently.

“She’s wrong you know” he told her “you’re too strong to have given up” his fingers pushed her hair behind her ear as she slept “and I’ll never give up on you” his hand held her cheek for a moment before he pulled his legs onto the beds and slide her head into his lap

“Never”


	59. Indebted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry this chapter took so long to post....but I couldn't decide how I wanted Clarke to procede...

Bellamy woke several times throughout the night, something about Murphy and Raven’s words haunted him even in sleep. He knew Raven wasn’t intentionally being cruel, just being Raven….spewing the brutal honesty that no one wants to hear or acknowledge. Her words cut into him. They tore into a part of him that he never knew existed before Clarke. Then Murphy’s words flooded his mind. Was he really saying what he thought? It couldn’t be that easy for someone to change, could it? The more he contemplated his words the more he realized, he had changed. He had become the person Clarke told him he could be. Her thoughts of him had molded him into this better version of himself. All it took was her view of him and he conformed to fit it. Everyone thought Murphy was a cold blooded killer…and he conformed to that role…His eyes landed on Clarke, filling with a fear he’s only ever known with regards to Octavia.

 _When did this happen_? He thought to himself

_When did you become so much to me? And when will I get you back completely?_

He pet her head gently as it rested comfortably in his lap. He acknowledged a long time ago that she meant more to him than he thought possible for anyone to besides his sister. He had so effectively kept everyone else at a distance his entire life. It was a strategy his mother had taught him from the moment she became pregnant with Octavia. She knew at that point, and stressed it to him, that their lives depended on him withdrawing from everyone. One wrong move, one friend that wanted to come over and play, one girl that he wanted to share too much with….it was all too big a of risk. He loved his mother and his sister so deeply that he was willing to sacrifice those relationships he could have had.

But Clarke….it was different with Clarke.

He didn’t have to hide with her. There was no threat to his sister, not like there would have been on the Ark.

No, Clarke had pulled him from his darkest point in his life and after that he stood no chance of ever feeling for someone the way he did her.

He needed her.

More than he cared to admit, but he knew how deep his feelings ran for her.

He caressed her cheek with his hand, reveling in the warmth of her skin. She snuggled against his hand in her sleep, feeding into the emotions already swimming within him. He smiled down at her.

“You’re gonna be okay”

He whispered to her than gently dropped his head back against the wall behind him, and slowly dozed back off into a peaceful sleep.

Clarke woke early in the morning, much before any of the others. Her arm had somehow snaked itself around his leg in her sleep, her pulled her grip on it tighter embracing him. She inhaled his scent deep into her and she smiled. There was a peaceful bliss to the simple moment. Most of her wanted to lay there forever, just Bellamy and her…no wars…no Ark…no grounders…nothing but two young people enjoying each other’s company. Her mind explored the options they would have had if the reality of the world wasn’t waiting in the wings.

Another part of her though knew that was not an option. Earth wasn’t that kind to people, especially people around her. She knew too well that nothing good on this planet came without a cost. Usually the price was paid by someone close to her; she wouldn’t let it happen again.  She pulled herself from him and slide slowly off the bed, doing her best not to disturb Bellamy.

There was something she needed to do, and she wouldn’t allow herself to have that moment with him any longer. It hurt too much to know it wouldn’t last.

Clarke moved out of the room, watching Bellamy’s face as she opened the door, hoping the small squeak it made didn’t wake him. She crept through the common room and over to the corner where Emerson stood still tied to the pole behind him.

“Come to finish the job?” he asked harshly

Clarke’s eyes roamed over him, “You killed my people” she replied with an newfound indifference

Emerson leaned against his restraints and toward her, “ _you_ killed _my_ people”

Clarke nodded and dropped her gaze to the floor, deep in thought.

“Maybe there’s been enough killing” she responded raising her gaze back onto him.

Emerson snarled, “So what, we call it even?” he leaned forward forcing the handcuffs to dig into his wrists “I still see _your_ people walking around” his eyes narrowed, the coldness in them emerging gradually, “mine are buried in graves you dug them. How is _that_ even?”

Clarke stared at him, unable to reply.

“She buried your people before you could bury hers” Murphy injected from the couch. Clarke had been so focused on not waking Bellamy she hadn’t noticed him. “Can’t blame the girl for playing your game better than you” he shrugged with his arms propped under his head, while he lay on his back.

“You think this was a game? Killing an entire race of people is some sick game to you?” Emerson growled, glaring into Clarke.

“It was _your_ game, she won” Murphy shrugged closing his eyes contently.

“Congratulations” Emerson gritted out “you killed a mountain full of innocent people”

“And you killed scared kids that were dropped onto this planet with nothing” Clarke snapped back. “Your people attacked us! Your acid fog, your missile! Your medical experiments”

Something foreign raged inside Clarke and lunged at him before he could even blink, “we did nothing to you! You wanted to kill us! That’s the only reason we were ever brought into that mountain! You wanted to kill us! All of us!” Clarke pulled a knife from her pocket and thrust it into Emerson’s thigh “Your people tortured mine for something we could have willingly given you” she withdrew the knife from his leg and jabbed it into the side of his abdomen. “Your murders! All of you”

“Who’s the murderer now?” Emerson asked through a gasped breath, as blood seeped from his leg and stomach.

“You want to pin this all on _my_ people. Think about it Clarke. _Your_ people are the ones who really started this” Emerson struggled through his pain to maintain the façade of strength in this moment.

“Your ancestors left mine here to be massacred by the bombs”

He turned his head to glare into her eyes; “You are upset over a hundred teenagers, but _your people”_ he let out a huff of a chuckle “your people left an entire planet to be massacred”

“Your people” he leaned over into her ear as she stood frozen “ _owed_ my people their blood. They sacrificed an entire planet; their blood was indebted to us”

 


	60. Absolving Guilt

“Clarke what are you doing!” Bellamy’s voice broke Clarke out of her trance; his strong arms wrapped around hers and gripped her hand over the knife, withdrawing it slowly from Emerson’s stomach. He pulled her arms into her and pulled her back into his chest as he stepped backwards.

“You were just going to let her kill him?” Bellamy barked at Murphy, who had moved to a seated position on the couch as soon as Clarke had struck Emerson the first time.

“Free world and all” Murphy shrugged.

“Get off your ass and help him” Bellamy ordered. Murphy eyes dragged over Emerson then shifted to Clarke, “I vote we let him bleed out” Murphy replied with a lopsided grin.

“Murphy” Bellamy warned as he held Clarke in his arms, fearing what she may do, though she never tried to move away.

“Am I missing something?” Murphy asked sitting up straighter. “Did he, or did he not tortured our little princess?”

“That doesn’t mean she’s prepared to kill him. Now get some towels and stop his bleeding!” Bellamy barked at him, his temper rising to a palpable level.

“She looked pretty prepared a minute ago” Murphy smirked from the couch.

Bellamy maneuvered a shaken Clarke behind him and moved towards Emerson grabbing a towel Miller had used before on him and kneeling in front of Emerson. Clarke’s hand gently brushed his shoulder from behind.

“Bellamy stop” she said quietly in a voice that neither of them recognized. Bellamy ignored her and pressed the towel against Emerson’s abdomen.

“Clarke get out of here” he told her with urgency as he tied another rag around the wound in Emerson’s leg.  Clarke’s hand fell to her side, but she didn’t move from behind him. Instead she became entranced by the blood staining Emerson’s shirt.  Bellamy looked up at her for a brief moment then went back to work on Emerson’s abdominal wound.

“Murphy get her out of here” he commanded once again as he pressed the towel into the gabbing wound. Clarke stood hypnotized as she watched as Emerson’s blood oozed over Bellamy’s hands. The sight forced a rush of air into her lungs as she gasped. _Emerson’s blood on Bellamy’s hands_. She raised her hands to her line of sight and was struck by the crimson colored skin. _Emerson’s blood on my hands_. The thought shook her to the core and Bellamy caught the look on her face from below her.

“Now!” Bellamy snapped his head towards Murphy; a menacing look consumed the soft one he had given Clarke the previous moment.

“She’s earned the right to do this to him” Murphy stood form the couch “after everything he’s done, his people. If she wants to kill him-then step back and let her. Stop acting like she hasn’t killed before-we all have”

“That was war!” Bellamy barked at him “This isn’t! _This_ will destroy her” He glared at Murphy with flared nostrils for another moment before adding “now. Get. Her. Out. Of. Here” he imphsized each word. Bellamy glared for a minute longer than turned back to Emerson’s wound.

“Don’t let her see this” he added quietly as he continued his struggle to stop the blood flow.

Murphy moved over to Clarke and gently grabbed her arm, tugging her towards the other rooms. Clarke didn’t move though, her body turned to stone and she was unable to move her eyes from the blood on her hands and the blood that still seeped out of Emerson. Murphy moved his hand to her forearm and lowered her arm, removing her hand from her sight. He skimmed her eyes with a questioning gaze, easily reading the fear in them. He studied her as she continued to stare at the blood and chaos that was unfolding before her. He could visibly see something begin to shift within her, something that didn’t belong there.

Murphy tilted his head and looked away, swallowing hard. He turned around, pulling the pistol from his waistband as he did. Without a second thought, and before anyone could see what he was doing he aimed and pulled the trigger. The sound forced Bellamy to duck down to the floor, one arm balancing him, the other instinctively covering his head. Bellamy could hear Emerson’s body go limp beside him. He carefully peered out over his arm. Bellamy took sight of the gun in Murphy’s hand as he lowered it. Bellamy’s eyes shot back to Emerson, his body was hanging by the handcuffs binding his arm to the pole behind him. A hole in his forehead had blood pouring out of it. The wall behind him splattered with his blood and fragments of his skull. Bellamy jumped to his feet and away from Emerson, as if standing too near may be contagious. His eyes darted back to Murphy; his face had drained of half its color as he watched Emerson with a glazed over look in his eyes.

“What the hell?” Raven questioned from the back of the room. Miller was positioned a little in front of her with his gun drawn.  Once their groggy eyes processed the scene, their stances relaxed and Miller lowered his weapon.

“So I guess you all voted to kill him without us. At least that problems solved” Miller muttered moving back into the bedroom to return to sleep. Raven shook her head and followed Miller.

Clarke’s hand softly touched the back of Murphy’s arm that held the gun. Murphy shut his eyes for a fraction of a second, his color returned to his face and he took in a breath. Returning the gun to his waistline he turned to Clarke and smirked, “Relax, you didn’t kill him Princess” he assured her then walked back to the couch. Clarke followed him, Murphy lay back on the couch, folding his arms under his head and shutting his eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Clarke asked with a shaken voice

Murphy shrugged nonchalantly, but didn’t open his eyes “I’ve been tellin you for days that I wanted to kill him. So I did”

Bellamy studied Murphy’s actions with shallow breaths. His eyes drifted over Emerson’s body, absorbing the sight. He slowly moved his eyes over to Clarke. She stood next to Murphy in shock, staring down at him with a gaze so soft he had only seen it on her once before. She had given Finn that look. Bellamy hadn’t wanted to see it then and he certainly didn’t want to see it now. He pushed to his feet and crossed the room in three strides. His arm reached out around Clarke as he continued to move, pulling her in front of her and moving her into the other bedroom.  Clarke was too shocked to fight, or maybe she didn’t want to…it was hard to tell. At any rate, Bellamy didn’t care. He wanted her out of there, so he got her out of there. If she hadn’t come willingly he would have thrown her over his shoulder and carted her to the other room.

He knew _what_ Murphy did. He knew _why_ he did it. There was no way Emerson would have survived the stab wounds Clarke had inflicted, he knew it the moment he tried to stop the bleeding and couldn’t. Now he knew that Murphy was aware of the impending outcome as well. The bullet Murphy put through Emerson’s head released any guilt Clarke could feel over his death. Now Murphy was his killer, not Clarke. Bellamy should have felt relieved that his death wouldn’t be another on Clarke conscious, but he wasn’t. He knew that if she _had_ killed Emerson that she would shut down completely and there would be no hope to pull her from such darkness. So why wasn’t he relieved? Happy even? Emerson is dead; Clarke’s not to blame….two birds…one stone? So why was there such a strong pull in his chest?

He scooted Clarke to the bed and pressed on her shoulder, she sat down unblinking. Bellamy whipped around and tore back into the other room and to Murphy. He grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked his upper body a foot off the couch.

“You shouldn’t have done that” he warned, glaring into Murphy recently opened eyes.

“I’m a killer” Murphy replied coldly “it’s what I do, right?”

Bellamy shook him forcefully one time, “it wasn’t _your_ place to do it”

Murphy’s well-known smirk slowly emerged across his face, “don’t worry” he smirked and leaned into Bellamy, their faces only inches apart as he smugly whispered, “last time I checked the knight in shining armor didn’t win the princess by being a murderer” Bellamy released his grip and Murphy dropped back onto the couch. Bellamy turned back to the room, but before he made it Murphy added “although, that would exclude you too”.  Murphy tucked his arms back under his head as an improvised pillow, smugly resting on them. Bellamy turned back to him; he only needed two of his long strides to get back to him. “This isn’t some sort of completion Murphy. You killed a man”

Murphy grinned at him “I’ve killed several-actually” he propped himself up on his elbows, “how many have you killed” his accusatory tone let Bellamy know that his numbers far exceeded Murphy’s. A fact he’s never hidden, but never broadcast either.

Bellamy nodded at Emerson’s lifeless body “this doesn’t change anything” he informed Murphy. “You’ve done unforgivably things”

Murphy laid back again on his arms, “haven’t we all?” he dismissed the weight of Bellamy’s accusation.

Murphy opened his eyes and stared into Bellamy, “even the princess has blood on her hands. No one’s innocent”

“Stay away from her” Bellamy warned him, prosonifiying the typical alpha male.

“Let’s let her decide if she wants me around” Murphy shrugged closing his eyes once again.

“Murphy” Bellamy said in a low growl “I’m warning you”

“Yeah” Murphy smirked unswayed by the threatening tone coursing through Bellamy’s voice “I caught that”

 


	61. A Selfish Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of smutty smut smut....per some requests

Clarke woke wrapped in Bellamy’s strong arms. He held her from behind as she lay on her side, keeping her pressed firmly to his chest, even in his sleep. For the first time in a long time, her head was clear, her mind free from everything. Her hand wrapped around Bellamy's bicep, and her fingers traced the lines defining each of his muscles. She outlined each of his muscles, trailing their length until another crossed under her fingertips. His bicep grew as it tensed when her fingers moved back to skim over it again. She felt her body being pulled tight against his hard chest, erasing any air between them.

Bellamy’s soft lips kissed the back of her neck, her neck responded by arching to the side. Bellamy took advantage of the newly exposed skin and planted a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. The noises that escaped from Clarke encouraged him to continue. Her neck rested on one of his arms as his hand had reached around her front and held her opposite shoulder, pinning her against him. His other hand freely roamed down her side, caressing every curve it encountered. Bellamy’s fingers curled around her hip as he rolled his into hers, revealing his desire for her. His hand skimmed over her pants, his fingers skillfully undoing the ties to her pants and pushing them down. Clarke’s arm snaked behind her and into his dark curly locks, tangling her fingers in them. Her other hand dug further into his arm around her with each kiss he left on her neck. Desire swarmed through Clarke’s head and his hand reclaimed her hip. He entered her slowly, forcing his name from her lips. The moment was rare, touches soft and gentle. For once, time was elusive leaving them to enjoy every inch of pleasure experienced. Bellamy’s fingers dug further into her hip with each thrust of his hips, Clarke struggled to smoother the noises erupting in her throat.

Once sated their bodies were too tired to remain awake, so they quickly drifted back into a deep sleep. Their dreams ran in different directions, but they found each other in both of them. Hours passed before Bellamy woke. His eyes slowly blinked open, immediately glancing down at the blonde sprawled across his chest. He gingerly ran his fingers over her arm, across her shoulder and into her hair. His fingers stroked through her hair, pulling it away from his face as he went.  He smiled at her when his brown eyes met with her crystal clear blue ones. His hand landed under her chin and tipped her head up so he could gently lay a kiss on her kips. He caressed her cheek before burying his hand back in her blonde locks.

“How do you feel?” he asked just about a whisper, not wanting to disturb the blissful quiet encompassing them.

“Good” she smiled up at him. “Is this how it would have been” she asked as her head reclaimed its place on his shoulder. Her hand lay above his heart as she rubbed the skin over in with her index finger.

“How what would have been?” he asked, pulling his hand from her hair and resting it over her hand on his chest.

“If we had met on the Ark” her words were just above a whisper secretly searching for a certain answer.

Bellamy chuckled lightly, “if we had met on the Ark you would have never talked to me”

Clarke’s head darted off his chest and her blue eyes focused on his chocolate ones, “don’t say that” her words laced with betrayal and hurt. Bellamy smiled at her, his hand moving back to her face.

“Clarke, we were from different stations” his thumb gently rubbed over her cheek “we would have never even seen each other, let alone spoke to one another”

Clarke frowned, “I wasn’t like that, I never cared about segregation” Bellamy gave her a sympathetic smile. “You may not have, but your family did. Wells did”

Clarke’s head dropped back on his shoulder, “we can’t let that happen here” she said firmly, her fingers tracing over his pectoral muscles. “That’s not always something you can prevent” he replied with a gentle honesty. Clarke glanced back up at him “We have to”

“We’ll try” he told her with a false assurance. Bellamy knew too well that class systems had been in place since the beginning of civilization. This wasn’t a battle they would be able to fight once it imbedded itself within Camp Jaha. However, he wasn’t going to ruin the moment with that bit of honesty.

“What are we going to do with Emerson?” She asked softly. Bellamy’s hand that had been rubbing her back stopped briefly, before resuming its pattern. “You don’t remember?” he asked hesitantly

“Do I remember Murphy pulling me away from him before I killed him? That’s not the kind of thing I’m going to forget” she responded. Bellamy’s other hand closed over the one she had on his chest. He smiled and exhaled with relief. _She doesn’t remember_ he silently gleamed.

The scene from last night replayed through his head as he continued rubbing cirlces over her back. Bellamy had entered Raven and Millers room, quietly calling to Raven as he did.

 “What happened now?” she groaned groggily.

“Give me one of those tranquilizers” he ordered

“Emerson’s dead, what could you possibly need it for now?” She asked sitting up and wiping her eyes.

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest “just tell me where it is?”

“Are you gonna use it on Murphy? Not that I’m opposed I just-” she asked as she grabbed the pack beside her and started riffling through it.  “It’s for Clarke” he cut off her words “I don’t want her to remember this”

She pulled the syringe out of her pact, handing it to him. “It’s a tranquilizer not a memory-eraser” she half joked

“It may not be” he replied “but this is” he added holding up a small brown leather pouch.  Raven’s head tilted “what’s that?”

The pouch disappeared in his hand as he pocketed it along with the syringe.

“Lincoln gave it to me a few weeks ago in case we needed to escape the grounders. He said it can wipe hours out of someone’s memory”

Raven’s brows drew together, “and you want to use that on Clarke?” she questioned slowly.

“I’m _going_ to use it on her” he told her “I don’t want her to remember this”

Raven moved to her feet as he turned to the door, her hand fisting his shirt until he looked back at her. “Murphy killed Emerson, why would Clarke need to forget that?” she asked with confusion

Bellamy couldn’t give her the real answer, that was something he didn’t want to even admit to himself.

“She blames herself for everything; she’ll find a way to blame herself for this. She can’t handle that Raven. You know she can’t.

Raven nodded, “She’s lucky to have you” she said quietly “you’re always looking out for her”

 _Not this time_ he thought. He remembered that thought and he glanced down at Clarke. He wasn’t proud of what he had done, but he couldn’t imagine what would happen if Clarke knew Murphy had saved her from a lifetime of guilt. The jeslousy that had consumed him in that moment lead him to that fateful mistake, one he would now have to live with.

“Raven and Miller patched him up; you didn’t do any real damage. The snow had lifted so they took him back to camp so your mom and Kane could deal with him” He continued rubbing circles on her back, his other hand holding hers tight to his bare chest. In his mind he was only bending the truth. Raven and Miller _had_ patched Emerson up…by wrapping his body in a sheet and plugging any part of him that was still draining out blood…and they _had_ left the bunker with him…after cleaning his blood from the bunker…they _did_ go back to camp….after burying his body far away from the bunker….

“So he’s okay?” she asked with hope, looking up at him.

Bellamy smiled “he’s exactly where he should be” Clarke responded with a small smile.

“Wait so they went back without us?” Bellamy nodded, “we thought you could use some distance from Emerson. We’ll head back today”

“Where’s Murphy?” she questioned, Bellamy groaned inwardly _who gives a damn_ he thought.

“He’s in the other room” he mumbled out then grabbed her cheek again and pulled her back up to his lips. His kiss began gently, small kisses that grew with intensity with each one. His tongue slide across her lips until she let him enter mouth. Bellamy rolled them over, leaving Clarke flat on her back as he positioned her legs around his waist. His kiss remained gentle, but hungry. His hand grabbed her breast forcing a moan from her that he muffled with him mouth. He pushed inside her without notice, she tried to free her mouth from his to moan, but he only kissed her harder. He kept every inch of her where he wanted, how he wanted as he continued to push into her.

“We need to…Oh fuck! Damn!” Murphy burst in the room, but quickly averted his eyes as soon as the intimate scene before him registered in his mind.

“Get the hell out of here!” Bellamy barked at him as he pulled the sheet over them, and ensured his body was covering Clarkes.  With the shock of the moment dissolving, Murphy morphed into his normal self. “Well had I known you were deflowering the princess I wouldn’t have barged in here” he replied, allowing his eyes to skim over the pair. Bellamy had pushed Clarke’s head to face away from Murphy, while his body hid most of hers.

“Oh wait; you aren’t the one that did that…that was Finn. Right Princess?” Murphy questioned with a smug grin as he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorway.

“Out Murphy” Bellamy’s throaty warning had no impact on Murphy. Instead Murphy antagonized him by blatantly staring at Clarke’s bare leg wrapped around Bellamy’s waist. Bellamy caught on to the contact and tugged hard at the sheet to cover her leg.

“Murphy if you don’t get your ass out of here I will kill you” Bellamy growled, looking over him as if he were a predator hoarding its prey beneath him. “Alright...alright” he chuckled with his hands in the area giving the pretense of surrender.

Clarke released his grip on Clarkes head and she buried it into his chest in embarrassment. “We shouldn’t have done that”

“Done what?!” his head reared back to look at her, the accusation blatantly ringing through his words.

Clarke glanced away, “we’ve been in here for hours, we should have let by now”

“Hey” he grabbed her chin pulling her eyes back to his, “Don’t _ever_ tell me we shouldn’t have done that” he pulled out of her an off the bed. “Bellamy” she sighed grabbing his wrist “That’s not what I meant. It’s just” she stared softly up at him “we don’t have the luxury of staying in bed all day. I don’t regret that” Bellamy nodded then reached down and picked up her clothes, handing them to her. “Back to reality” he joked.

Once they were dressed they emerged from the room.

“Sorry princess, if I knew that’s what you were doing I won’t have gone in there” Murphy told her genuinely. “It’s just I never knew a girl could have that done to them and not scream in pleasure. I guess Bellamy’s jus-” Murphy’s crude comment was interrupted as Bellamy’s fist collided with his face.


	62. A Regime Change

Bellamy, Clarke and Murphy had been hiking back to camp the entire day. The anger and tension fumed off Bellamy anytime Murphy was near so they maintained a distance between them. Clarke was too enamored with thoughts of what issues may be awaiting them when they arrived at camp to pay the pair much attention.

The guards pulled the large gates open for them and the entered the camp, quickly greeted by Abby. She threw her arms around Clarke, embracing her tightly. “It’s good to have you back” she told her as she pulled back. Clarke smiled “It’s good to be back”

“I saved a meal for you after Raven told us you would return today, come we have a lot to talk about” Abby invited them back into the Ark. The followed her into the council’s room.

“Have a seat and I’ll have your meals brought in” Abby offered then left the three.

Bellamy moved around the round table and took his usual seat, relieved to be off his feet after the long journey. Clarke took the seat beside him, and Murphy plopped into the one next to her. Abby returned shortly with an attendant caring their food trays. Murphy practically inhaled his food the moment it was placed on the table in front of him. Abby took the seat next to him.

“I was so happy to hear from Raven that you were all right. I was worried you wouldn’t make it back before we left” Abby confided

Clarke’s brows scrunched together, “Left? Where are you going?”

Abby sat up, leaning towards the table, “Jaha has told us about the City of Light, we’re leaving the in three weeks to go live there” she beamed

Murphy choked on his foods dropping his shoulders as his arms tensed against his tray.

“Have you lost your damn mind?” Bellamy croaked out as he swallowed the chunk of his food he had in his mouth whole.

“Watch your language when you speak to a member of the council!” Jaha ordered as he entered the room, taking the seat beside Abby, Kane in tow behind him.

“I AM a member of the council!” Bellamy snapped at him with a tense jaw.

“By default only” Jaha replied with a condescending calm.

“Bellamy is a named member of the council, though his language may be vulgar, he _is_ an equal member here.” Kane informed Jaha. The irritation Jaha felt was easily readable on his face.

“These two are not, they are not privy to this information” Jaha reclaimed his entitlement, pointing to Clarke and Murphy. 

“Clarke is just as much part of this council as anyone else in this room” Bellamy's throaty voice tested Jaha’s authority.   
“A member by association is not a member. Clarke and John may finish their meal, but there will be no further discussion of our plans until they vacate the room” Jaha replied, his eyes only meeting with Clarke and Murphy.

“I’m guessing we missed the vote to reappoint you as chancellor” Murphy retorted pointing to the chancellors pin secured to Jaha’s lapel. “Or are we not privy to know that either” he added with a snarky tone.

“It is true that I have been reappointed to my position. Our people need a leader to guide them through this dangerous planet. Their trust in my skills has rejuvenated itself so they asked me to resume my position”

“Yeah….I’m gonna take my chances with the grounders then” Murphy stood, stuffing the roll he had left into his pocket, “at least _they_ aren’t trying to blow up the world”

“No one is trying to blow up the world” Kane assured him

“You sure about that?” Murphy’s eyes skimmed up and down Jaha, “last time I saw him, that was his goal”

“John is mistaken; he left the City of Light before I could reveal my true plans for our people. The only bomb in the City is to _protect_ our people against those that wish us harm. John is dramatically overestimating my skills as a scientist if he believes I have the knowledge and capability to create a bomb that will destroy an entire world” Jaha dismissed the accusation with a smile. His display was convincing to Abby and Kane, who seemed equally as dismissive towards to Murphy.

Murphy stared at Jaha in disbelief, and then leaned onto the table with his hands “you know, I thought the whole crazy bit was a new thing for you. I see now that you’ve always been that crazy, and you fooled an entire Ark to follow you”

“That’s enough Murphy, if you speak to the Chancellor in that manor again you will be punished” Kane snapped at him.

Clarke and Bellamy studied everyone carefully as the discussion took place. They knew they wouldn’t be able to discuss the matter further with Jaha present, it would have to wait.

“Have you gotten anything out of Emerson?” Clarke asked, hopeful to change the subject until they could get Abby and Kane alone.

Bellamy’s eyes widened and his jaw went slack; his eyes shooting to Murphy whose brows had drawn together as his head tilted. “Have you-” he started to say, but Bellamy jumped to his feet and barked out “You’ve finished eating Murphy, like Jaha said, leave so we can discuss matters of the council”

Murphy’s eyes locked with his for a moment, the confusion evident in them before they fell back on a baffled Clarke. “Bellamy he doesn’t have to leave, we c-”

“Bellamy is correct, John needs to leave. He has overstayed his welcome in this privileged room. The guards will show you to an area you may rest in” Jaha informed him, waving a guard in to escort Murphy out. Murphy stumbled over his own feet a few times as the guard pulled him from the room, his eyes locked on Clarke in confusion.

“Clarke you need to leave as well” Jaha told her after Murphy had cleared the room.

“Clarke has every right to be here” Bellamy shot at Jaha “We saved everyone in this camp, together. She’s earned her right at this table, just as I earned mine”

“Clarke” Jaha said looking at her “falsely presented herself as a leader to our people and began a war with the grounders which put this entire camp in jeopardy. She created a false alliance with the grounders and led our people into an unnecessary war. She was somehow pardoned of committing murder against one of our own. She has been granted too many free passes as far as I am concerned. Had she not been so insistive on aligning with a group of people that have proven themselves to be merciless murderers, she would have prevented the senseless deaths of dozens of our own. With those facts before you, you cannot possibly believe that she would be granted a seat on the council.”

“That’s not what happened” Bellamy shot back, his jaw locking.

“Did she not kill one of our own while the entire camp watched?” Jaha questioned

Bellamy swallowed hard, “it wasn’t like that”

“Did she” Jaha leaned his arms onto the table “or did she not?”

Bellamy let out a frustrated breath “She did but-”

“and did she or did she not form an alliance, that you yourself disagreed with and placed no faith in, which failed and resulted in the loss of our own” Jaha leaned onto his arms.

“There was more to it than that, the groun-”

“Did she” Jaha’s voice dropped an octave “or did she not Mr. Blake”

“She did but-”

“If you agree that she has committed these crimes, how can you possibly propose she be granted access to the council’s meetings?

“You’re distorting everything to-”

“Mr. Blake” Jaha’s voice raised in volume “you yourself have admitted to Clarke’s reckless behavior and the deadly effects it has presented to this camp. There will be no more discussion on this matter. The council will reconvene tomorrow at ten in the morning. I expect Clarke to not be here at that time or she will be placed in lock up for defying a direct order” Jaha rose to his feet and left the room before Bellamy could begin to form the words that raced through his head.

“You’re just gonna let him do that?” He questioned Abby

“He is the chancellor, he’s made a ruling and we will follow it” Kane injected. “I’m sorry Clarke, you know we don’t believe you ever intended for anyone to get hurt. But it’s time our people were led by adults, not children” His eyes conveyed his sympathy to Clarke, but she couldn’t feel it. Jaha’s words had cut into her on the deepest level.

“She kept our people alive!” Bellamy shouted back at him, jumping to his feet and leaning on his hands on the table. “Your body would be full of holes and dead if she hadn’t saved you”

“This isn’t personal. It’s government”

“Feels pretty damn personal” Bellamy glowered.

Clarke shook her head and rose to her feet, “its fine” she mumbled as she left the room.

“Clarke” Abby sighed coming to her side “no one blames you for those things. We just think it’s best for everyone if we keep the control of the camp confined to the council.

“It’s fine” Clarke repeated with a contrived smile then left the room.

Bellamy glared between Abby and Kane for a few minutes then trotted after Clarke, he caught up to her in a deserted part of the camp near the fence. Clarke was staring out at the tree line when he approached “its fine Bellamy” she assured him completely devoid of emotion.

“I know you’re not. Not after everything Jaha threw at you” He rounded in front of her “its bullshit Clarke. Don’t let that asshole push you bac-”

“I said I’m fine. You need to be in that meeting tomorrow. You need to find out what’s going on” she insisted.

“Clarke just stop!” Bellamy shouted grabbing hold of her upper arms and shaking her. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. You don’t have to pretend that this isn’t bothering you”. Clarke’s eyes glassed over but she stood resolute. “Let go Bellamy” her icy voice cutting into him.

“No” he tightened his grip. “Not until you let me in” his eyes pleaded with hers, “you don’t have to fight this on your own” his grip loosened as his hands caressed her arms. “Let me in”

Clarke slowly shook her head taking a step away from him. His hands clamped back down yanking her back to him. “let-me-in” he pushed, his eyes locked with hers. She shook her head violently now as stray tears escaped her eyes. “Why not Clarke?” he shook her gently. “Why?”

“I don’t want to destroy you” her words were so soft he barely heard them.

“Clarke” he breathed his grip softening and moving to her face “You’ve saved me; you’re not going to destroy me”

“Really” she said firmly “Were you listening to everything he said in there?”

“I already told you-it was bullshit” he said emphasizing his last word as he stared into her eyes to drive the words into her.

“You _agreed_ with him” she retorted

“Clarke” he sighed, his eyes rolling to the side momentarily

“Bellamy” she cut him off “ _I_ believed him! It was true, all of it. I’ve done nothing but cause death to _everyone_ that comes near me”

“You _saved_ everyone in this damn camp, whether Jaha wants to admit it or not. _You_ saved them”

Her eyes softened causing their clear clue color to look breakable, “Have you noticed that every time I am upset about pulling that lever, and killing hundreds of people-you share the burden of pulling it. You tell me over and over again that we did it….together. But whenever someone confronts the blood on my hands you credit me solely for saving out people” she stepped back, and Bellamy felt the words lodge in his throat as he struggled to find the right ones.

“You can’t have it both ways” she added gently “I know that everyone I’ve killed, or played a part in killing….it on me Bellamy. and I am trying to live with that. But Jaha’s right” Bellamy’s eyes lifted back to hers with that comment as his head tilted ready for an argument.

“I don’t belong on the council and I can’t lead anymore. I’ve killed to many, and” she withheld the words that wanted to come out and sighed “They need you” she said eyeing the camp “not me”

“They need _both_ of us” he corrected her stepping into her. “And I’m not doing a damn thing with that council until they let you in”

Clarke shook her head violently “No, you _have_  to be there. If half of what Murphy has told us about Jaha is true then they’re leading our people to slaughter”

“I won’t do it without you” he said through a locked jaw and his hands planted firmly on his hips “If I go in there without you, I’ll be telling them they’re right about you-and they’re not”

“They are, and it’s okay” she assured him and turned back to face the vast forest. He watched her and swore he could see the wall she was raising once again to keep him out. Her body tightened her clear blue eyes hardening as if she were shutting everything out. Bellamy’s frustration and anger grew with each change he saw developing with her over the next few minutes.

He moved over to her, his shoulder brushing the front of hers as he leaned down until his lips were an inch above her ear and told her “They’re wrong and so are you” he growled then stormed off to the Ark.

  
“Heard you guys made it back” Raven greeted him, falling in step with him, “not sure why you didn’t lose Murphy in the woods along the way” she joked as Murphy walked by them. He shot her a mocking look and continued moving to the fire pit, no doubt to get a helping of moonshine.

“Where’s the fire?” she joked as she had to trot to keep up with his brisk pace.

“I’m going to show Jaha where he can put my council pin if he doesn’t let Clarke in”

Raven’s fingers latched a vice grip onto his arm, pulling him to a halt. “Murphy told me what happened in there, I know it’s messed up, but we need you on that council”

Bellamy’s anger was radiating off him in waves, “and what, I’m just suppose to _let_ him spout that bullshit about Clarke! There wouldn’t be anyone else in this camp besides him if it weren’t for her”

“Both of you” Raven corrected him

“What?” his face contorted, forcing creases and lines across his forehead and around his eyes

“ _Both_ of you are the reason we all survived” she said once again

“No, it was Clarke-I just-”

“No listen to me Blake” Raven demanded, grabbing his arm, forcing his attention to her “Both of you have kept the majority of us alive since you crashed on this planet. You two used to do your thing, and it got us all here, you changed that and left Clarke to do it alone”

“I’ve never left Clarke-”   
Raven through her hand up to silence him “You did and you know it. You used to work together, push each other”

“You were _both_ equals, _both_ leaders and that’s the only time on this fucked up planet that things have gone okay for us. I’m not sayin it was perfect because nothing down here is” she looked up at him, holding his stare “but it was better. When you found out Clarke wasn’t killed by the grounders after the dropship, you were so happy to have her back that you wouldn’t stand against her. You’ve caved and gave into every ludacris idea she’s had, instead of leading with her you left her to do it alone. When we aligned with the grounders, you related your relationship with Clarke to Gustus and Lexa relationship” she leaned in closer. “But you aren’t Gustus, You were an equal leader with Clarke until then” she loosened her grip and leaned back straightening her shoulders “and things have gone to shit since then”

Bellamy blink, the wave epiphany raining through him as he digested her words.

“We need both of you. Alone your idiots” Bellamy shot her a look “but together, somehow you are great leaders. Be that. Don’t be Clarke’s protector, that’s not what she needs. And it’s definitely not what our people need. Clarke needs you to fight against her, she needs you to tell her when she’s being an idiot and you need the same from her.”

Raven stepped back as she could visibly see the effect of her words on him. He stood taller, his muscles harder. Raven smirked “Besides, guard dog isn’t a good look on you” she walked around him to exit the tent “sexy leader is much more up your ally”

Bellamy turned around “did you just call me sexy?” he questioned with a raised brow

Raven spun around on her heel, “it’s just a saying Blake, don’t read anything into it.” She replied disgusted then left.


	63. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's been forever since I posted but works been crazy and i haven't had more than a day off in two weeks :(

The next morning came and brought a new-found determination in Bellamy. Something shifted within him as Raven’s words replayed through his head during the night. He entered the council room with an era of confidence and his classic don’t-fuck-with-me attitude.

“I’ll be damned if you think I’m gonna blindly follow that lunatic into the City of Light” he replied to Kane after listening to him rattle off the umpteenth reason they _should_ follow Jaha.  Kane called Bellamy into a private meeting that morning to persuade him on the idea. Somehow Abby caught wind of the meeting and joined in the middle of it.

“That _lunatic_ is the Chancellor” Kane warned

 Bellamy responded by rolling his eyes, “Chancellor or not, he’s out of his damn mind”

“Do you even have any idea what he sacrificed for our people?” Kane shot back at him. “He stayed behind on the Ark. He left himself to die a slow death as the oxygen supply slowly depleted” Kane glared at Bellamy. “He _sacrificed_ himself so that we could all live” he added with admiration.

“So that you all could live” Bellamy corrected him “I was down here with the hundred kids he had already _sacrificed_ so that everyone else could live”

“One good deed doesn’t vindicate a lifetime of bad decisions, a lifetime of killing people off one by one for minor crimes”

“He was following the law” Kane responded

“He was hiding _behind_ the law” Bellamy growled back to him “he had a choice to punish the ones he did, he could have changed the archaic laws, but he didn’t. Instead he sentenced hundreds to death during his time”

“He followed those laws and sentenced the guilty for breaking them. He did it to keep our people safe” Abby said

Bellamy’s eyes cut to her “ He sentenced your husband and daughter to death for trying to warn _our people_ of the oxygen shortage” he leaned onto the table “enlighten me on where the justice was in that decision”

Abby’s face froze, unable to respond to the logic Bellamy was laying out before her.

“Exactly” Bellamy said with a nod then leaned back in his chair, arms folded over his chest. “The man that sentenced people to death for trying to warn our people or a vital threat…. _That’s_  the man you want to follow. _That’s_ the man you want to trust”

“The weight of his decisions is easy to judge. However, I prefer to put my trust in a man whose actions may be debatable, but were always within the parameters of the law. I prefer to follow him then a traitorous, murdering teenager” Kane explained.

“ _Nobody_ is suggesting following Murphy” Bellamy replied with an eye roll.

“But you would believe him over Jaha” Abby injected

“I _believe_ what’s believable” Bellamy retorted “Murphy had nothing to gain by telling us about Jaha. He may not be on honorable guy, but in this case…I believe him”

“Was there a meeting scheduled that I was not informed of?” Jaha questioned as he entered the room, circling the table and taking his seat.

Bellamy glared at him momentarily then caught Kane and Abby’s eyes before rolling his eyes and standing. “No we were just bored…nothing better to do than discuss who the biggest idiot in the camp is” Bellamy exited the room before anyone of them could respond.

Bellamy stormed through the ark, and out towards the café. He grabbed a cup of moonshine from a server and downed it before slamming the cup back onto the counter.

“Bad day?” Clarke asked walking up beside him.

Bellamy glanced over at her then grabbed another cup of moonshine slamming the clear liquid own his throat. He reveled in the burning trail it left from his mouth to his stomach.

“They won’t listen to me”

“I’m sure if you just explain what-”

Bellamy’s arm swung out as he shouted “I just defended _Murphy_ in there!” he explained pointing towards the Ark.”There’s nothing else I can do to convince them that Jaha is leading this camp to its death” he stared at her for a moment longer before dropping his arm and grabbing another cup of moonshine.

“Awe you defended my honor?” Murphy quipped as he rounded the table near them. “And I thought you didn’t care”

“I don’t” Bellamy stated bluntly while glaring at him briefly. “And there’s nothing honorable about you”

“We’re screwed, they won’t listen” Bellamy said looking back at Clarke.

“We’ll find a way to make them” Clarke assured them

“Bellamy! Clarke!”  Wick panted as he ran up to them.  The pair turned their attention to him, and his hands dropped to his knees as he struggled to catch his breath. “Radio” he panted out “another station-radio” he forced the words through his shallow breaths.

“What?” Bellamy questioned

“There’s another station on the radio” He replied, his breaths coming easier.

“No, it’s the grounders again” Clarke responded.

“No” Wick said straightening his body out “they knew things, codes. Grounders wouldn’t know what they did”

“That’s impossible” Bellamy replied bewildered.

“They’re a day’s journey south from here”

“How is it we haven’t heard anything from them before? We haven’t seen any sign of a station to the south” Bellamy responded incredulously.

“The frequency, it’s one we hadn’t tried before. Raven was working on the radio when she accidently flipped the frequency”

“There was no _accidentally_ about it” Raven spat out as she joined them “Mr. Happy pants here thought it would be a good idea to have s-”

“Can you call them back? We need to talk to them again, find out how they survived” Bellamy responded ignoring Ravens tangent involving too much information.

“It’s fading in and out, but we can try”

They followed Raven and Wick back to the communications tent and Raven quickly went to work on the radio. 

“It can’t be another station. The grounders must have gained information from somewhere” Clarke said “or someone” She turned to Bellamy “We should ask Emerson, he’s the one that helped them figure out the technology- maybe he knows if they-”

“He doesn’t” Bellamy said abruptly. Raven’s eyes darted to Bellamy, and then quickly went back to tinkering with the radio before Clarke caught onto the look she gave him. Wick’s gaze bounced between the three, baffled. “I thought Murphy shot-”

“Shouldn’t you be helping her” Bellamy glared at Wick, the look in his eyes alone had Wick backing away from him.  Bellamy turned back to Clarke softening his gaze “Let’s see what happens with the communications, we’ll know if it’s our people or a trap”

Clarke stared at him with a look of noted confusion. She knew there was something off, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Here-they’re on” Raven said thrusting the radio between the two. Clarke grabbed it as it crackled with static

“….come in Ark station”

“This is Ark station, how many of you survived?” Clarke questioned

“……48….only 14 survivors…..attacked….have supplies……no medical personnel….” The signal was weak, the words barely audible at times, but the message was clear. They needed help.

Clarke locked eyes with Bellamy, each silently communicating the doubts of the plea for help. They racked their brains for a way to decipher whether or not it was indeed their people this time.  Suddenly Clarke was struck with an idea.

“How many stations were there on the Ark?”  She asked into the radio

“……13….”

She held the radio while Bellamy dropped his head to the side conveying this doubt in the response “they could have gotten that out of anyone”

Clarke nodded then thought again before making another call on the radio

“Who stayed behind on the Ark?” she asked

Bellamy gave a look of approval as they eagerly awaited a response

“……” static “…..Chancellor Jaha”

Clarke smiled at Bellamy, hopeful of the newfound prospect of more survivors

“We’re coming to get you” she informed them


	64. What the King says goes...

“Clarke” Bellamy warned

“We have to save them” she replied quickly

“It could be another trap” he warned

“And if it’s not?” she questioned “if there are others out there that need help? How can we just leave them?”

“Even if it is real-we’ve got other problems we’re already dealing with. Have you forgotten that Jaha is trying to lead the camp to world destruction?” he raked his fingers through his hair in frustration “we can’t exactly take off on an exhibition that may or may not be a trap”

Clarke thought for a moment before responding, “You’re right” she glanced up at him. Bellamy knew better and waited for her to finish the thought before reveling in the win.

“You can’t leave, you’re a member of the council and we can’t afford to not have your voice in their decisions right now”

 Bellamy’s eyes narrowed as his patience waned as he waited for the other shoe to drop.

“I’ll take a Murphy and Miller to find the other camp”

…. _and there it is_ Bellamy thought to himself as he rolled his eyes

“You are _not_ going there” he informed her in a low husky tone

“We can’t just leave them” she explained

“And I can’t just let you walk into a trap” he snapped back at her

“We’ll go with them” Raven said “we’ll keep the radio working so we can talk with camp”

Bellamy shook his head as his jaw clenched. “And who is going to keep the radio up here? If something happens? You said it yourself, the signal is weak. You’ll be walking out into God knows what-there’s no way you can keep the line up on all points”

Clarke pondered the issue for a moment before having another idea; “Then Monty will come with us” she chimed

Bellamy’s head rolled to the side as he stared at her in disbelief. “The camp can spare him, Jasper can do the same work he does and there’s still others that know his job. Raven and Wick will keep the radio open on this end. Monty can keep a portable one for us open and help fix the line when we get there”

“ _If_ you get there” Bellamy corrected her “and _if_ it’s not a trap”

Wick glance behind them nervously then dropped his voice to a whisper “we can’t keep this from the council, it’s punishable for us to not report it” he spoke directly to Bellamy “We’ve reported it to you, but “

Bellamy finished his thought “if I don’t report it I could lose my seat on the council” Bellamy’s hand dragged over his face “damn it” he grumbled in frustration. Then eyed Clarke before stepping into her. “If the line drops for _any_ reason I will be out there with half this damn camp” he warned

“No matter how good Monty is, the line will depend on their location. When they go through the mountains it will come and go” Raven explained. Bellamy directed a heated glare in her direction, the non-verbal threat filled with meaning. Raven’s mouth snapped shut and Wick took a slight step in front of her.

Clarke’s hand gently touched Bellamy’s arm, “we’ll be okay Murphy and Miller know the terrain and-”

“ _Murphy_ is not going” Bellamy’s angry glare was now directed at Clarke as the muscle in his jaw twitched.

Clarke’s brow scrunched in confusion, “he’s a good shot, and he knows the woods better than any of us”

“And _why_ is that Clarke?” Bellamy pushed, but Clarke’s confused expression conveyed she wasn’t following. “He _knows_ the woods so well because he spent so much time in them. Alone. After he turned on all of us”

Disapproval washed over her face as she responded “He’s helped us countless times”

“He’s killed some of us” he growled back leaning over her

“So have I” she snapped at him

“In cold blood?” he pushed taking a step towards her, not wanting to have the conversation take this turn with her. Clarke stepped back and opened her mouth, but Bellamy continued before she could respond “did you strangle or smoother them with your bare hands?” he questioned. His large body crowding her as he leaned down to be eye to eye with her “No” his low husky tone warned “don’t go there because _he_ is the murder Clarke. Not you.” He glared into her, the evidence of her crawling back into herself evident in her eyes. His large hands grabbed her shoulders giving her a gentle shake “is the murder Clarke. Not you.” He glared into her, the evidence of her crawling back into herself evident in her eyes. His large hands grabbed her shoulders giving her a gentle shake “You were acting as a leader in a war. _He_ acted out of revenge” his fingers dug into her shoulders “Don’t _ever_ compare yourself to him again”

He held his glare until he could see her concede then he blinked and backed away. He held up his hand “Miller, Monty, and two guards”

“You can’t spare the guards” she added softly.

He closed the distance between them in an instant “You’ll take the damn guards or you can take my seat on the council and I’ll go” he growled.

Clarke’s face hardened with irritation, “one guard” she insisted

A lopsided grin crawled over his face, “if you think this is up for discussion then you should take this pin now” he said dropping his eyes to the council pin on his lapel. Is eyes locked back with hers for a few tense moments before she stepped away.

“Go pack, I’ll tell the others” he ordered then exited the tent.

“Miller!” he bellowed across the camp as Miller came into view. Miller jogged to him.

“What’s going on?” he asked

Bellamy eyes surveyed the surrounding area for any prying ears before responding. “There may be more survivors, another station”

“Where?” Miller asked

“A day south” Bellamy glanced around again before looking at Miller.

“You’re going with to check it out. It may be another trap, so be on high alert. Grab Sean and Grant they’re the best shots in camp”

“When do we leave?” Miller asked

“I can’t go, I can’t risk the council making any decisions without our voice in there” Bellamy’s voice dropped to a low tone “Clarke’s going, and Monty will keep a radio working”

Miller nodded

“Be on alert. I don’t trust that this isn’t a trap, don’t rush in without surveying every detail” he cautioned “if _anything_ seems off, _anything_ ” he reiterated “fall back and get back here”

Miller nodded again “we’ll be careful” he turned to leave but Bellamy’s hand clamped on his shoulder.

“Clarke is anxious to save them” he said looking around the camp. His hard eyes locked back on Miller’s “Do _not_ rush in” he ordered “no matter what”

“We won’t” Miller replied firmly.

“I mean it. No matter what Clarke says or does- do _not_ get near the location until you are sure it is clear.”

“Okay” Miller agreed

“Keep her safe. Any means necessary” Bellamy told him. Miller gave him another nod “Got it” Bellamy released him then turned away. He headed back to his room and found Clarke bent over and digging through an open pack on the ground. Something raced through his body pulling him to her. He grabbed her hips and shoved them against him. She stumbled from the unexpected movement then bolted upright, glancing at him over her shoulder.

“Bellamy what?” he pushed her against the wall before she could get the rest of her question out. One of his hands moved to her neck and forced her head to the side then claimed her mouth with his. The kiss was hard, hungry. He needed it. He knew the risks of her leaving and he needed her before she did. His hand wedged it’s between her waist and the wall then untied her pants. His mouth devoured hers as his hand pushed both their pants to their ankles. He pulled her hips out then pushed deep into her before another moment escaped them. He swallowed her scream and subsequent moans as he took her. His pace was fast and unforgiving, pushing her into the wall. He broke their kiss momentarily to stare into her.

“Come back to me” he said with a vulnerability that contradicted his aggressive thrusts

“Always” she whispered back then pushed her lips back to his. They both knew it was a false promise. Earth was too cruel to leave them delusional hopes of “always”. The word was a comfort to him though, and they both needed to feel each other completely before separating for the risky journey.

A few hours later Clarke, Monty, Miller, and the guards were well on their way. The path leads them along a mountain side forcing them to walk single file by the steep ledge. The gorgeous view caught Clarke’s attention and she paused for a while to gaze out onto the lush landscape before her. She was in awe of the colors and life that came together with more beauty than any drawing ever could portray. The irony that the most beautiful thing she had ever seen was also the most deadly didn’t escape her. Earth had been deceptively breath taking from the beginning.  Clarke shook the thought from her head and noticed she had fallen behind the group quite a bit. She began walking, her eyes still fixed on the horizon. Her eyes may have missed the large root stretching across the path, but her foot didn’t. She tripped over it, her stumbling gait leading her toward the dramatic cliff. Her eyes widened as she uncontrollably fumbled closer to the edge. Her arms swung outward as she held her breath. She felt her body dip as the it ran out of ground beneath her. A hand grabbed her right arm and left hip pushing her back onto the path and away from a certain death.

“Easy there princess” a familiar voice reassured her as her heart pounded out of her chest at her near miss. She spun around and glanced up at him “What happened? What are you doing here?”


	65. Missions and Agendas

“Earth survival tip number 101” Murphy said leaning into her “don’t fall off a hundred foot cliff” Murphy’s typical cocky grin greeted her as he released her arm.

“Don’t you think Charlotte already cued us into that one” Miller’s angry voice cut between them.

Murphy’s light hearted face instantly morphed into a menacing one as he glared back at Miller.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Miller growled at him.

“At the moment looking at your pathetic ass” Murphy quipped back. Miller lunged toward him, but Clarke stepped between the two.

“Is everything okay at camp?” Clarke’s concerned voice caught Murphy’s attention momentarily, but continued his glare on Miller.

“Dandy” he replied

“Then why are you out here? It’s safer back at camp” Clarke said.

Murphy’s gaze dropped to hers, “Like I said, I’d rather take my chances with the grounders then hang around and watch Chancellor crazy ass take back over”

“Bellamy didn’t want you on this mission” Miller interjected

Murphy’s eyes cut back to him, “ _Bellamy_ ca kiss my ass” he replied with a lopsided grin.

“I’d pay to see you say that to him” Miller challenged.

“What are you guys doing?” Monty asked trotting up behind Miller “what are you doing here?”

He questioned once Murphy was in his sight. Murphy rolled his eyes, “isn’t there a station we’re supposed to be looking for?” Murphy asked.

“ _We_ are” Miller snapped at him.

“He’s right we should keep moving” Clarke said turning back on path.

“ _He_ shouldn’t be here” Miller challenged.

“We don’t have time to argue this. He wants to help, so let’s get going”

“Bellamy’s not going to like this” Miller said to her. Clarke let out a sigh, “it’s not his choice anymore” she replied the shouldered passed Miller on the trail. Miller glared back a Murphy for another moment before following Clarke.

They carried on for hours in silence, with tension thicker than the forest encompassing them.

“How much further” Monty asked Clarke as the suns light faded around them. Clarke glanced down at the map in her hands. “Not much further, but too far to make it tonight. We should rest” she addressed the rest of the group with her last sentence.  The group came to a halt, forming a contorted circle.

“We need wood for a fire, we have the food rations, but we’ll need the warmth” she instructed the guards. They took off to gather the wood as the others dropped their packs to the ground, plopping beside them.

Monty ruffled through his pack and pulled the radio out, “I’ll let them know we’re settling for the night”

“Monty…” Clarke’s voice filled with warning

“I won’t tell him if you don’t want me to” he said reading between the look on her face. Clarke gave him a tight smile and nod then shifted her gaze elsewhere.

“Camp Jaha comes in” He called over the radio. The radio crackled before Raven’s voice came over the line.

“Monty?” she called

“Yeah, just checking in, we’re settling for the night”

“Run into any problems?”

Monty glanced at Murphy then Miller before replying “No”

“That didn’t sound convincing” she replied back

Clarke held out her hand for the radio and Monty handed it over to her.

“We’re fine. How is everything at camp?” she called out

“Clarke? Bellamy’s been in council meetings all day, haven’t heard anything yet”

“Okay, we’ll check in before we head out in the morning”

“Better leave the radio on, Bellamy said he wanted to talk to you... if he ever gets out of the meeting”

Clarke puffed out a breath before responding “It was a long hike today, we’re exhausted and need rest. Tell him we’ll call in the morning”

“I don’t think that’s going to go over well” Reve replied before adding “he knows Murphy’s with you”

Clarke glared across at Miller before he shook his head, “how could he possibly know that?”

“Come on Clarke, no one has seen him since you left…add that with the fact that Bellamy told him _not_ to go…and Murphy’s ability to piss him off”

“There’s nothing that can be done about it now. We’ll call in the morning” Clarke cut the radio off and handed back to Monty. Monty gave her a telling look before reluctantly pushing the radio back in his pack.

“You should take off now, cause when Bellamy gets his hands on you…” Miller gleamed at Murphy with a smile.

“ _Bellamy_ doesn’t scare me” Murphy dismissed

“Funny how you won’t _ever_ say that to him” Miller shot back

“He’s not here to disprove that theory” Murphy quipped

“We’ll see how much bullshit you’re willing to spout when we get back”

“I guess we will”

“Bellamy’s got bigger problems than Murphy to work out” Clarke interrupted the pairs bickering.

“I’m not so sure that’s how _he_ sees it” Miller replied softly to her.

“Well he should” she coolly responded

Miller leaned forward toward her, “trusting the _wrong_ people hasn’t worked out well for any of us” he shifted his eyes to Murphy then back to Clarke “we should work on _not_ repeating history”

Despite the gentle delivery of his words, they dug deep into Clarke. 

“How far are we from the other stations camp?” Monty questioned to change the subject and mood the evening was taking.

It took a moment for Clarke to compose herself and respond, “two hours maybe? Should be a straight shot”

Monty nodded. The evening went on without many words exchanged, each of them rested uneasily with the unknowns of the upcoming day festering in their minds.

“We should split up though, enter at different points just in case” she added

“We’ll send Murphy through the front while we round the back then” Miller injected.

“Or we could send you” Murphy shot back.

“But people would _miss_ me if it’s a trap”

“Not me” Murphy smirked

“Miller take the guards and go to the back, or circle the camp and enter an hour after us. You’re better equipped to handle yourselves and get us out if it is a trap. Murphy and I will enter through the front” she turned to Monty “You find a place to hide until we come for you. If anything happens, or if we don’t come for you two hours after we go in-call back to camp and let them know”

“You go with the guards, I’ll go with Murphy” Miller replied

Clarke turned to him, “We need our strongest to hold back in case we need help”

“And I’m not going in with you, if it _is_ a trap you’ll throw me to them and save yourself” Murphy injected

Miller rolled his eyes, “While that is a good idea, I wouldn’t trust you not to sell out our plans to them.” The Miller turned to Clarke, “You stay with the radio, send Monty with Murphy”

“That doesn’t even make sense. If something’s off with the line Monty can fix it, I can’t” Clarke stared at him with confusion.

Miller scratched his head “then send a guard with Murphy”

“Clarke’ plan makes more sense, you and the guards should hang back for a contingency plan” Monty said.

Miller glared at him, but Monty was oblivious to the daggers coming his way.

“Organize your weapons and supplies” Clarke instructed the others “We need to radio camp so they know we’re heading in” she directed at Monty. With a nod Monty went to work pulling the radio from his back and getting it working.

Miller pushed their canteens at Clarke and Murphy, “I’ll let camp know the plan, can you head back to the spring we passed and get us refills?” Clarke nodded while Murphy scrutinized Miller with his eyes. The pair walked off and Monty handed the radio to Miller.

“Start scouting for a tree you can hide in that won’t block the signal” Miller ordered Monty. With only the guards nearby Miller called to camp Jaha.

“Where are you” Raven’s voice cracked through

“Just outside the other station, I need to talk to Bellamy” he said as his eyes shifted over the area around him.

“Hang on”

“No, Now! I don’t have much time”

Murphy glanced back to the others several times on their hike, even though they were long out of view. “Do you find it odd that Miller sent you to get water?” he asked.

“No, why would I?” she replied hiking over the rocks to get to the spring.

“You’re always the way that talks with camp, it almost felt like he didn’t want you to” Murphy followed her.

“Why wouldn’t he want me to talk to camp?” she paused

Murphy Shrugged the knelt beside the small spring “something just felt off”

“Miller’s a good guy, you should have faith in him” she replied while opening the first canteen and lowering it into the pristine water.

“Damn, I left our canteens in our packs” Miller cursed

“I’ll run back and get them” Clarke offered hoping to her feet.

“Thanks, I fill these”

Clarke took off jogging and once out of site Murphy pulled their canteens from behind him. “Oh look here they are….” He said sarcastically to himself.   
“Clarke you don’t have to go back” he yelled barely above a whisper. Then smiled to himself as he removed one of the lids, “Or maybe if you do you’ll find out what Miller’s hiding” he boasted quietly.

Clarke slowed to a walk before nearing on their packs.

“…she won’t listen to me, I tired” She heard Miller plead into the radio.

“Tie her ass to a fucking tree if you have to, I don’t want Clarke in that camp until you know it’s safe” Bellamy’s voice barked through the radio causing a Clarke to come to a stop. She crouched behind a nearby bush.

“I’ll do what I can” Miller replied as he glanced around.

“You’ll keep her out of that damn camp or you won’t come back to this one”

Miller gulped and dropped his eyes to the device in his hand before responding.

“I’ll figure it out”

“You better” Bellamy growled back.

Clarke’s forehead scrunched as she digested the conversation she had overheard. She glanced over at her and Murphy’s packs and noticed how flat they were…too flat for canteens to be in. She rolled her eyes as she realized he had planned for her to come back. She walked back to the spring, Murphy meeting her half way.

“Found our canteens” he said with a knowing smile, which was received with a look of annoyance from Clarke.

“How convenient” she muttered snatching the canteens from him.

  
“..So….anything… _interesting_ happen when you went back?” he questioned

Clarke shot him a look then walked back with him, “Miller’s trying to keep me out of the camp” Murphy looked over his shoulder at her with narrowed eyes, “why?”

“Bellamy” though her response was brief, it conveyed everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	66. Withholding Information

“Bellamy?” Murphy questioned.

“He doesn’t want me to go into the station” she continued walking.

“Why?” Murphy asked though he suspected the answer already.

“I don’t know, maybe Emerson said something to him-tipped him off” she stepped over a large branch, “but why just me?”

Murphy reached out and grabbed her upper arm with just enough strength to force her to stop walking. With brows drawn together he stared into her eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked suspiciously

“What are you talking about? Let go” she said attempting to jerk her arm free.

“Clarke,” he said then pulled her closer, “Emerson’s dead-remember?” he watched the shock wash over her.

“What? "When?” she slowly asked. He took a step into her, his grip inadvertently tightening on her arm.

“I shot him,” he slowly enunciated each word while he continued to stare at her, his confusion morphing into concern.

“But….why…” she shook her head, “when?”

“Are you serious right now?” he questioned with an uncanny gentleness.

“Did you do it before you caught up with us?” she asked again

Murphy stared out into the distance before returning his gaze back to her. “Clarke, you were there” his head tilted as he saw the confusion in her eyes “in the bomb shelter” he added hoping to trigger the memory.

“No” she shook her head “they brought him back to camp before we left.”

Murphy drew his head back slightly as he continued to study her.

“What happened? Why did you shoot him?”

Murphy stared at her attempting to figure out what happened, why she didn’t remember.

 _Maybe she blocked it out_ he thought to himself

“He was gonna hurt someone” he dismissed

“So you had to…to save them?” she asked hopefully

Slowly he nodded as his eyes continued to search hers. “Yeah,” he said, “I’ll always protect her” he added too softly for her to hear then pushed a piece of her hair out of her face.

“Careful Murphy, you’re showing your good side” she joked lightly.

“Can’t have that now can we Princess” he replied with his notorious lopsided grin. He turned back and carried on their path, “so what are you going to do?”

“Well I’m not gonna stay behind while you go in,” she said with determination

“Didn’t think you would” he laughed.

“But Miller’s not going to let me go with you. I’ve got to figure out a way to deal with him; he won’t listen to me if Bellamy’s already told him what to do.”

“I could hang him from a tree” Murphy offered with a grin

Clarke shot him a disapproving look

“…by his feet” Murphy added.

“I’ll figure it out” she responded then lost herself in thought.

They soon approached the others, Miller, and the guards were ready to head out. Clarke noticed the apprehension on Millers' face. She spoke before he could.

“You were right Miller; I should stay back with the radio. Murphy will head in with Monty, you guys hang back until I signal you” she said holding up her flashlight.

“Good plan” Miller responded, then lead the guards around the perimeter remaining out of sight.

Monty’s confusion was easily readable on his face, “You’re staying behind?”

Clarke gave him a tell-tale look then slung her pack over her shoulder. “Not hardly,” she said heading towards the front of the station.

“This is gonna bite me in the ass later” he looked at Murphy “isn’t it?”

Murphy chuckled, “you know it.”

“Great” Monty grumbled then moved over to the tree he had scouted out earlier. Murphy pulled his pack on and jogged up to Clarke.

“That’s your genius plan-lying to him?” he questioned.

“It worked didn’t it?”

“Until Bellamy kills him.”

Clarke let out an audible sigh, “By the time Bellamy knows, we’ll all be safely back at camp.”

“Love the optimism Princess” he sarcastically replied.

“HALT” commanded the voice of a large guard “drop your weapons!”

Murphy and Clarke shared a look before slowly lowering their guns to the ground.

“We’ve come from Camp Jaha” Clarke announced.

“Camp Jaha?” the guard questioned.

“Yes, someone here called over the radio for help.”

The guard rounded on them, “go inside” he commanded “keep your hands up” he added as Murphy’s arms began to lower. The pair walked into the camp while the guard maintained his gun aimed at their backs.

“I don’t like this” Murphy told her under his breath

“We wouldn’t let them in our camp with weapons either” she assured him in a hushed tone.

“Silence!” the guard ordered.

The pair continued into a large room without sharing any more words. A man sat at the head of the table in the room, and immediately moved to his feet when they entered.

“They say they are from Camp Jaha” the guard reported to the man.

“They sent children to our aid?” the man asked as he assessed the pair.

“These _children_ have been on this damn planet longer than you” Murphy snapped at him.

“We know the land, and navigate it better than anyone else at camp. We are here to help you.”

“We have injured” he glared skeptically at them “What can you possibly do for them.”

“Let me see them” Clarke responded neutrally. “I’m Abby Griffin’s daughter. Let me help.”

“Abby’s daughter?” he questioned eyeing her then slowly nodded after processing the information “Very well. Max-take them to medical bay” he ordered the statuesque guard.

Clarke assessed the sick and gave the medical aid orders on how to treat the ones that would benefit. Murphy followed closely behind her as she examined each of them. His untrusting nature left the patients uneasy as Clarke assessed them.

The sound on the radio cracked and splintered before the voice came in clear “…update”. Monty clicked the radio as he sat in his perch watching the station Clarke, and Murphy had disappeared into an hour before.

“They’re in the station, there are no grounders in sight, just Arkers” Monty replied.

“Both groups are in?” Raven questioned

“Yeah, Miller and the guards just went in” he replied “everything’s good.”

“Good” Raven said with relief

“Monty?” she asked with hesitation

“Yeah”

“Hypothetically, if I were to ask you where Clarke is…what would your answer be?”

“That depends,” he said with a sigh “Is Bellamy, hypothetically listening?”

“No”

“She went in with Murphy.”

“I knew it” she cursed under her breath.

“Don’t tell Bellamy, there’s nothing that can be done about it now” Monty suggested.

“Don’t tell Bellamy what?” the booming voice chilled Monty to the core and his grip on the radio began to shake. He took a breath before responding.

“Clarke went inside the station” he regrettably answered

“But everything’s okay. They’re all in there now; there’s no sign of grounders or anything” he quickly rattled off.

“If you _ever_ suggest keeping something from me again” Bellamy warned “you can consider yourself grounded to this camp.”


	67. Only the Strong Survive

Clarke tied off the final stich in a teenage girl’s arm when the girl reached over and gripped her wrist. She glanced around before pulling Clarke in close.

“You shouldn’t have come” she took another nervous glance around the room “it’s a trap.”

Clarke’s brows drew together and Murphy closed the distance between them an instant.

“They agreed to trade you for our freedom” the girl whispered, before sitting upright “Ow!” she wailed staring at her arm. Clarke saw the guard that changed the girl’s demeanor in her peripheral vision and played along. “The worst part is over; I just need to dress the wound.”

The guard continued moving and once he was out of earshot Clarke leaned back into the girl. “What are you talking about?”

“The indigenous people of Earth attacked us, asking about the other station.”

“Camp Jaha” Murphy concluded

The girl nodded “they wanted people from that station.”

“Why,” Clarke asked

“I don’t know, but I think they intend to hurt whoever it is they are looking for” her eyes quickly scanned the room. “They’ve killed more than half of the people that landed with us and beat the rest of us.”

She stared at Clarke as her color drained. “It’s you they’re looking for you.”

Murphy’s body noticeably tightened and he stepped into Clarke, his chest brushing her arm.

“How can you know that?” Clarke questioned

“They described your hair,” the girl said eyeing Clarke’s hair “and called you a healer.”

 Clarke swallowed the hard news and pulled a bandage over the freshly stitched wound.

“Keep this covered for a week. If the dressing gets dirty or wet, change it”. The girl nodded while Clarke turned to Murphy.

“You need to come with me” the guard commanded before Clarke or Murphy could discuss the revelation.

Clarke and Murphy stared at each other while Murphy’s hand slowly reached for his waistband that held a knife. Clarke subtly shook her head. She turned to the guard and headed back to the hallway. As she exited the room, she took note of all the patients and injured. They were all men, well built like guards. The girl that provided her the information was the only female there, the youngest as well.

Soldiers she thought to herself _only the strong survive_

After a few steps, she turned back to Murphy.

“You should go let the others know that it's okay.” Her eyes expressed the words between the ones she verbalized. “They should head back to camp and get more medical supplies for the injured here.” Murphy’s eyes narrowed as he clearly understood what she was trying to do.

“You go tell the others” he challenged with irritation. Clarke’s jaw locked with and her aggravation was palpable.

“No need, your friends are here” the guard informed them. Clarke’s eyes dropped in defeat with the news. She turned back to the guard as he pointed his gun down the hallway. He guided them back to the room they had originally entered.

“Clarke!” Miller exclaimed when she entered, then quickly glared at Murphy.

“I thought you were-.” Clarke interrupted him before he could reveal that there was another one of them hidden in the woods. “I know-I should have waited for you, but I wanted to get in so we could use their radio to let camp know we made it okay.” It took Miller a moment before catching onto her hint.

He nodded, “I’m glad you made it okay” he replied.

“They have more injured here than we thought. You should head back to camp, gather more medical supplies.”

“I think we’d be more help here” Murphy replied before Miller could.

Miller nodded, “you’ve taught us so many of your procedures, we can help.”

“I need the supplies more than I need extra help, I can show anyone here how to help” she argued.

“We have no one with medical background” the councilor replied “I’ll radio your camp and ask for more supplies.”

“I should call,” Clarke said, “My mother is the chancellor; she won’t listen to anyone but me.”

“Abby is chancellor?”  The councilor questioned. Clarke nodded. The man carefully pondered the information before extending his arm, motioning to the hallway.

“Very well, I’ll show you the way.”

Murphy pushed himself behind Clarke and in front of the counselor. “The guard will show you to the dining hall, you must be famished after your journey,” the councilor said laying a heavy hand on Murphy’s shoulder.

“No thanks” Murphy dismissed him. Miller moved to follow as well but the councilor held his arm out to stop him. “Our communications room is small, the rest of you should eat” Miller glared across at Murphy, who responded with a knowing nod.

Clarke and Murphy were taken a few doors down into a small room. The councilor hovered over them as Clarke adjusted the station on the dials then called into the radio.

“Camp Jaha comes in.”

“Clarke?” Monty’s voice cut through the small room.

“Yes. We’ve safely made it to the other station. I’m going to send the others back to gather medical supplies for the injured.”

“Clarke –“Clarke cut Monty off “Bellamy I know your medical knowledge is lacking, but my mom will understand what I need. The supplies we pulled from Mount Weather are on the southeast side of supply tent.”

“Next to Raven’s wires?” Monty asked knowing damn well Raven kept her supplies stored in the communication tent where she could maintain them.

“Yes,” she replied confirming what he already knew….they were in trouble.

 _Crap_ Monty silently cursed as he lowered the radio and gazed at the camp that he now knew held his friends prisoner.

“Got it, they’ll be ready for you” he replied. He pulled a compass from his pocket and glanced up at the station, scanning the southeast section. He packed the radio away and he climbed down the tree. He hiked quickly through the forest until he reached the southeast portion of the station. He searched the outer wall for any flaws that Clarke could be hinting at until he found a panel that appeared to be slightly unhinged.

The group finished their meal and stared awkwardly at one another.

“It took us a day to get here, May we rest in the council quarters for a while?” Clarke asked when the guard named Max.

“The councilor has another room for you” Max replied, “to provide you privacy” he added looking at the men then back to Clarke. Clarke smiled graciously, ‘thank you.”

“Come on Clarke, after everything we’ve been through you’re going to be modest _now_?” Murphy taunted.

“I’ve not had the opportunity until now” Clarke shot back

“Yea well, I don’t think we’ll be able to sleep if you’re not with us” Murphy challenged. “We’re so used to you being there an all” his cold smile sending the unspoken message. “I’m not sure what we would do it you weren’t there.”

Clarke glared at him; he was taking away their chance to escape. If what the girl had said was true, then they only wanted her. They wouldn’t pay much, if any, attention to the others which would make their escape go unnoticed long enough for them to get to safety.

“Besides, Bellamy would hand us our asses if he found out we let you out of our sight” Murphy continued his taunts “You wouldn’t want to upset Bellamy-right?” Murphy put emphasis on Bellamy’s name, knowing it would push Clarke to do as he said.

“No” she gritted out “I wouldn’t” She turned to the guard and smiled sweetly “I’ll stay with them, but thank you for the offer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the few that have stuck in there with me through the delays in updates. I know that can be frustrating, and I lost a lot of followers from it : (   
> Thanks again to the ones that are still reading, I promise there's a good adventure in store ; )


	68. Even the Strong Fall

Max had left them in the room a few minutes prior, long enough to put Clarke enough at ease to put their escape in motion. She raced to the back corner of the room and skimmed her hands over the panel she noticed earlier that was partially detached. She began to scratch at the edges until a large knife suddenly wedged into the crack. Startled she looked up at the knife's owner, Miller.

“Let me” he offered, she moved out of his way and he began to work on the panel. After a few moments, the panel broke free from the wall knocking Miller on his ass. Monty’s head poked through the new whole. “Overstayed your welcome?” He smiled

“Always” Murphy replied with a grin. The two guards climbed out and stood watch.

“No argument there,” Miller said as he climbed through the hole. He turned back and extended a hand to help Clarke out.

“You first,” she told Murphy

“How dumb do I look?” he replied coolly. Clarke rolled her eyes, “come on Murphy-go.”

He leaned over her, his hand on her back, “after you” he said giving her a forceful push into the hole, “I insist.”

Miller caught Clarke from the emanate fall. Murphy dropped beside her, “let’s go” Miller said and the group took off running into the thick forest.

“Wait” Miller shouted at them after twenty minutes of hard running. “Come on Miller, keep up” Murphy snapped at him. Miller shook his head as he tried to catch his breath, the others circled around him. “They are all guards, and we’re losing light” he huffed out “we won’t be able to out run them” he reported. “Well what do _you_ suggest?” Murphy growled

Miller pointed up with a raised brow. “Good idea,” Clarke said through ragged breath “split up.” The two guards moved out and began to climb separate trees. Miller and Monty headed thirty feet north and climbed a large tree. Murphy followed Clarke up a nearby tree.

After an intense twenty minutes of waiting they heard guards on the ground below them. They were only there momentarily before moving on. They remained hidden in the trees, silently waiting. Too scared to speak, Too tired to move.

The guard returned after an hour, making comments about returning to their station until morning. The group remained silent for another hour. Clarke broke the silence by whispering to Murphy.

“She said they were being forced to do it.”

“Who cares?” he responded coldly.

“They’ve obviously battled the grounders” she whispered across the branch to him. “Only their strongest have survived or did you not notice the lack of women and children in there.”

“I noticed” he responded then leaned toward her “I didn’t care” he added coldly.

“What happens when the grounders come back and they don’t have me?”

“I.Dont.Care” he drew out his reply.

“Murphy- they’ll kill them.” She explained, desperate to have him understand.

“Probably” he added devoid of emotion, with a shrug.

“I have to help them.”

“No, you don't.” he replied eyeing the ground below.

“I can’t just run back to camp knowing that I left them here to be butchered.”

“Yes. Yes, you can. It’s easy...one foot in front of the other” he said, “jump over the branches...and stay away from cliffs.”  His cavalier attitude began to rub her emotions raw.

Her face became desperate “Murphy please” she pleaded.

A sudden commotion below them froze them both.

“It’s probably best to make our plans up here,” Miller said as he a Monty popped into view. They each climbed to neighboring branches.

“Princess here thinks the plan is to martyr herself….again” Murphy informed them.

“That’s a bad plan” Monty stated plainly, looking at Clarke.

“That’s an understatement” Miller grumbled.

“The grounders have already attached them, they will attack again if this trap they set doesn’t work” Clarke explained “We can’t leave them to be killed.”

“Again… _yes_ we can” Murphy rolled his eyes.

“The grounders are coming back,” Monty said, more to himself.

“Yes and they’ll expect me to be there.” Clarke declared.

“Why you?” Miller asked zeroing in on her.

“She tends to piss off grounders if you hadn’t noticed” Murphy responded.

“The grounders will go back to the station,” Monty said, and then his eyes locked with Clarke. “Looking for me, yes.”

“I know what we can do,” he said. “I noticed the stations rockets are inverted from the landing, we could ignite them once the grounders are inside” Clarke nodded. “We just have to get the others out.”

Clarke replied eaderly, “Once we explain that we can save them they’ll follow us into the woods.”

They discussed the elaborate plan before climbing back down the tree and rejoining the guards.

Monty reclaimed his place in the tree outside the station as they had agreed. Somehow keeping his identity a secret from the others seemed like a good idea. The others walked back into the station, executing their plan. They raised their hands as they approached the guarded entry.

The guards pushed them into the station and back into the council room. This time, two guards remained with them as another left to notify the councilor. He entered in a rage.

“We know about the deal you made with the grounders” Clarke acknowledged before he could lay into them. A look of shock washed over him.

“We want to help” she added.

“You can’t help” the councilor replied. “They want you, they’ve already killed ninety percent of our station” he moved toward Clarke, two guards flanking him. “We have to give you to them, for the greater good” The guards moved in and took Clarke by the arms “One life is not worth the lives of the majority” he rationalized.

The others jumped onto the guards but were greeted with electricity jolting through them from Tasers he guards held. The involuntarily fell to the floor as the convulsions took over their bodies as they groaned in pain.

“Please understand, this isn’t ideal,” the councilor said to her. She nodded and allowed Max to pull her from the room. He led her down the halls and pushed her into a small closet.

“May we meet again” the councilor said to her before the door closed and a dark embraced her.

Murphy, Miller, and the grounds crouched on their hands and knees before pulling themselves onto their feet. “Get the control and head to Monty, we’ll get Clarke.”

“Have we decided to _not_ save the people trying to kill us now?” Murphy asked sarcastically.

“Shut up Murphy,” Miller said moving to the door. He glanced into the hall while the guards slide to the loose panel aside and slide through.

The pair snaked their way down the hallway, pausing at each doorway. Miller carefully peered around the corner, spotting Max outside a closed doorway.

“That must be where Clarke is,” Miller said

“Genius” Murphy retorted “was it the six for four two, two hundred and ten-pound guard standing outside that gave it away?”

Miller glared at him, and then glanced back at the guard. “Two to one, we can take him,” Murphy said.

“I know you two are there” Max announced. “You might as well come out and get this over with” after exchanging a brief glance they headed down the narrow hall. They raised their arms preparing for a fight when Max let out a deep chuckle “I’m not going to fight you.”

He turned the knob behind him and opened the door revealing Clarke. She cautiously stepped out, eyeing Max all the while. “What they’re doing isn’t right” he comforted her, then placed a hand on her cheek, “there isn’t an acceptable cost of life.”

“I assume you have a plan,” He said dropping his hand and facing the others.

“Yeah, follow us,” Miller said turning back the way they came. The girl that had warned them suddenly appeared. “Don’t go that way?” she said pushing them down the hall. “The indigenous people that want you are outside, the councilor is greeting them. We need to get you out of here” she said.

“We need to get back to that room, we can get outside from there” Miller explained.

The girl shook her head. “It’s lunch, everyone will be in that hall and beside Max and me- there isn’t one person on this station that wouldn’t trade you for another serving of food let alone their lives.”

“How do we get out then?” Clarke questioned as they continued moving further down the hallway

“There’s a hatch at the end of the hall, it’s how I escaped the grounders attack before” the girl shoved in front of them and kneeled on the floor. She pulled a piece of the wall and a three foot by three-foot second disengaged from the frame. Miller helped her move it aside. She punched a code into the latch, “8259” she said as she entered it. “Last one out needs to lock it from the outside,” she told Miller. He twisted the handle and the latch gave revealing the ground outside. Miller crawled out followed by Murphy.

The sound of footsteps caught their attention “go” the girl told Clarke then ran back down the hall.

“No wait “Clarke called and moved to follow her, but Max’s large arm wrapped around her waist preventing her from moving.

Just as the girl rounded the corner with her hands in the air, they heard a gunshot and the girl fell to the ground” “No!” the cry erupted from her while a large hand quickly moved to cover her mouth, muffling any further sound.

“We need to leave,” Max told her then pushed her toward the small latch. He shoved his knee into the back of hers forcing her legs to buckle. Miller grabbed her ankles and yanked her through the opening as Max pushed. He crawled out after her, pulling the door closed and pressing the code to lock it. They pulled Clarke to her feet in her state of shock and then ran to the natural cover of the forest. They passed the bodies of the guards that had escorted them. Miller grabbed the control that was on the ground near one of the guards and continued to run.

Monty stood by the tree he had been in when they approached.

“Do something with this” he ordered Monty as he shoved the control into his abdomen. Monty climbed back into the tree. “Up,” he told Clarke. She did as he said, with Max following behind her.

A guard from the station trotted up to them, “go” Murphy ordered Miller.

“You got this?” he asked Murphy.

“Did I not just tell you to go?”

Miller gripped onto the tree as Murphy rushed the guard. The guard aimed at Murphy and pulled the trigger before Murphy reached him. The pain seared across Murphy’s arm ejecting a slew of curses from him.

Murphy then tackled the guard, grappling the gun away from him then shooting him in the head. Panting, Murphy wiped the guard’s splattered blood from his face while staring down at his lifeless body. As his adrenaline dissipated the pain, he had blocked from his mind returned. He reached over and grabbed his arm to assess the damage. The bullet had grazed across his flesh, but not through him. When he moved back to the tree, he discovered where the bullet had landed.

Murphy’s breath lodged in his throat as he stared down at the rapidly increasing puddle of blood surrounding the base of the tree. The once familiar face had been drained of its color. Murphy blinked a few times, believing the death was merely a delusion. As his eyes focused in on the body, his hope faded and he knew the death was real. 


	69. Rewriting the Past

"Are you okay?" Clarke's voice called down from the branches above breaking Murphy out of his daze.

"Yeah" he called back slowly "I'm good." He wiped his face again to remove the guards remaining blood from him. He grabbed Millers' arms and dragged his body away from the tree. He climbed up the branches until he reunited with the others. He settled onto a large branch beside Clarke.

"You're injured," Clarke said maneuvering her body to face him. She pulled at the freshly torn edges of his jacket to examine the wound beneath.

"Just a scratch" he shrugged.

"Where's Miller?" Monty questioned.

Murphy's face went cold; "down there" he replied his eyes shifting momentarily to the ground.

"You just left him?" Monty accused.

"He's dead, I didn't see much point in carrying him up here" Murphy snapped.

"What?" Clarke turned to him and then angled herself around Murphy to climb down. His arm darted out and pushed her back onto the limb. "He's gone, there's nothing you can do for him." Clarke stared helplessly back at him until gunfire rained around them. One of the guards grunted then fell from the tree, shortly followed by the other guard. Max aimed his gun below them and fired several rounds. Monty pulled himself closer to the tree, but his pack caught on the limb beside him causing it to open and the radio to slip out. The radio fell from his pack and Murphy stretched his arm to catch it.

"We're gonna need that" he shouted to Monty then ducked as a bullet surged through the branch near him. Max fired another shot resulting in a loud scream from below. The firing ceased until Max shifted. Max froze and once again the shots stopped. After a few minutes, Clarke readjusted herself on the branch which was met by a bullet tearing through the branch she was holding onto. Max grabbed her hand just as she began to topple backwards. He yanked her back onto the branch and held on until she was steady. The message was clear, as long as they were still no one shot at them. Movement signaled their positions to the gunmen. They remained perched on the branches for an hour.

The crackling of the radio cut through the quiet forest and Raven's voice came through.

"Monty?"

Murphy looked at the radio in his hands as though it would jump up and bit him. His gaze rose to meet Clarke's. Clarke shook her head slowly and Murphy looked back at the radio.

"Monty?"

A bullet ricocheted off the large branch near Murphy before embedding itself in Clarke's bicep. The force of the impact threw her off balance and she struggled to right herself on the branch once again. Max dropped down to the branch next to her as the gunfire hailed on them. He pulled Clarke onto the branch next to him providing her a better grip.

"Monty!" Raven's angry voice bellowed through the radio.

"Not a good time Reyes" Murphy snapped into the radio then glared at Monty. "How do I turn this damn thing off?!" he barked.

*Camp Jaha*

"Monty!" Raven shouted into the radio as Wick stared bewildered at her.

"What's going on?" Bellamy inquired as he entered the tent. Raven and Wick's eyes locked on the radio.

"Monty!" Raven called but was once again met with silence.

"Did they miss the check in?" Bellamy asked. Raven dragged her eyes up to his as her face paled.

"Raven, what is it?" his tone growing impatient.

"I called them to check in" she hesitated.

"…and?" Bellamy asked with his hands on his hips.

Raven's mouth dropped briefly before she responded, "there were gunshots."

Bellamy's eyes widened and he snatched the radio from Raven.

"Monty!" he demanded

"Really  _not_  a good time" Murphy's voice cut through "Clarke!" Monty's voice faintly called in the background while the gunfire pounded.

Bellamy's jaw locked as he turned on his heel storming from the tent, "One of you grab a damn radio and pack, we're leaving".

*Back in the tree*

"On the top, pull the tab" Monty shouted to Murphy. Murphy quickly followed his instructions to turn the radio off.

"You've been hit, grab onto the tree," Max told Clarke, maneuvering himself on the other side of her so she could sit near the trunk of the tree. Monty pulled a strap from his pack and wrapped it around Clarke's arm over the wound.

"Give me that damn thing" Murphy snapped at Max nodding to his gun.

"I'm a better shot than you."

"Not so far" Murphy challenged. Max handed him the gun and with three well-aimed rounds the firing ceased.

"I'm impressed" Max complimented him retrieving the gun from him. Murphy's eyebrow twitched as he rolled his eyes.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?"

"In the guard" Murphy chuckled to himself.

"Really?"

Murphy's face deadpanned "No."

"You go first," Murphy told him nodding to the ground. "group rules, newest members are expendable," he said with his lopsided grin.

" _Nobody's_ expendable Murphy" Clarke shot at him.

"Good thing he's  _nobody_  then" he gleamed. Clarke's disapproving look did nothing to sway him.

"It's okay, I'll go" Max calmed Clarke. "You don't have to" she replied.

" _Somebody_  has to" Murphy muttered eyeing the ground for potential threats.

"Wait until I give the all-clear," Max told Clarke before he began his descent down the tree.

"I've configured it, and it's ready to detonate. We have to get closer, though. " Monty reported to Clarke.

"All clear!" Max hollered from below. The climbed down one at a time until they all reached the forest floor.

"Give me the controller" she extended her hand to Monty. He placed the small device in her hand and her eyes studied it.

"What do I do?" she asked.

His finger pointed to a small lever inserted in the panel, "pull the lever down, then run."

He withdrew his hand. "You have to be within a hundred feet, but the blast radius could be more than that so don't hang around."

Clarke nodded. "You all head back to camp, I'll meet up with you after."

"It's more safe to remain in a group" Max informed her.

"Not if we don't know the blast radius, we can't risk all of us being caught in it" she explained.

"Then I'll stay behind and detonate it" he graciously offered.

"That leaves  _us_  to trust  _you_  to blow up your station" Murphy sarcastically added.

"Somehow I'm not comforted by that."

"I got you out of there," Max defended himself.

"No, that girl got us out of there." Murphy didn't hesitate to correct him.

"Guys," Monty said trying to get their attention

"I've been shooting at my own people!" Max snapped at him.

"You've been  _missing_  your own people" Murphy retorted.

"Guys" Monty repeated louder

"Forgive me if I wasn't trained to shoot through tree limbs" Max shoved him forcing Murphy to stumble back a few feet.

"Neither was I, but I figured it out!" Murphy shoved him back.

"GUYS!" Monty shouted at them.

"What?!" They simultaneously replied.

"Clarke's gone," Monty said.

"Shit" Max cursed. Murphy snatched the gun from Max's holster before he could react.

"Head back to camp; I'll get her and blow the bastards up."

*Outside of Camp Jaha*

"Try them again" Bellamy ordered Wick as they hiked through the forest with a half dozen guards.

"I just did, they didn't answer" Wick reported. Fear had flickered across Bellamy's face before it hardened once again before facing forward.

"Their radio may have been damaged," Wick said attempting to console him. Bellamy's head shot to him. "O-or they could have turned it off" Wick stuttered. Bellamy glared at him with narrow eyes then moved back to the head of the group.

"We need to move faster" he ordered.

*Clarke*

"You can't possibly have thought  _that_  would work," Murphy told Clarke as he came to stand beside her. She was staring at the station that was just under a hundred feet from her.

"You shouldn't be here," She said looking at him.

"And  _you_  should have pulled that lever by now" Murphy replied nodding to the device she held up in front of her.

"There has to be another way" she whispered glumly.

"The other way is that  _they_  kill  _us_ " his condescending tone didn't penetrate her heavy thoughts. "I'm partial to  _them_  blowing up" he added.

A sudden commotion outside the station caught his attention. The grounders were angrily exiting the station.

"Pull the lever Clarke" he urged.

Clarke's mind flashed back to Mount Weather, and the drop ship. The carnage that she blamed herself for seared into her heart. The faces of each of the Mountain people that she buried tortured her mind. She could hear the bomb that tore through TonDC rattling in her ears. The way the ground shook sent tremors coursing up from her feet.

"Clarke" Murphy repeated "Pull the lever." His eyes widened as the grounders pointed in their direction.

The tremors claimed Clarke's hands, shaking the device as she stared into the past. "You did this to them" Emerson's accusation singed her heart "you murdered hundreds!" Clarke's eyes glazed over as she drifted further into her nightmare.

"Clarke! Pull the damn lever!" Murphy shouted at her as the grounders approached them with menacing stances.


	70. Shockwaves

Murphy barely avoided a knife flying through the air by his head.

“Clarke!” He yelled at her as he unfolded himself from his crouched position.

Clarke shook her head blinkingly focusing in on the impending group of grounders ready to attack.

“Pull it!” Murphy shouted as he pushed her further from the station. Clarke’s feet were planted into the ground, though. Her body remained in place as the grounders neared. Her eyes dropped to the device in the hand

 _More death_ she thought.

Her head slowly began to shake back and forth. “Leave” she whispered to Murphy. Her hands slowly fell to her sides as the device slipped through them and onto the ground. Murphy watched in slow motion as the device bounced twice in the grass. He dove to the ground just as another weapon cut through the air near him. He grabbed the device and rose back to his feet.

“No!” Clarke shouted at him, “We don’t have to kill them if I go with them nobody has to die.” Murphy’s jaw dropped as he gave her a baffled stare. His finger slammed the lever down and he grabbed Clarke’s wrist in a vice grip. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him as he pulled Clarke behind him. The power emanating from the blast knocked them to the ground and sound the thick smoke engulfed them.

*Bellamy*

An explosion encompassed the sky a few miles ahead of them. “What the hell was that?” one of the guards asked. All eyes are locked onto the smoke and embers that filled the sky. Bellamy took off in a full blown run, the guards following suit after the shock wore off.

*Monty*

“It worked” Max breathed as the booming sound of the explosion caught his attention.

“Did you doubt it would?” Monty questioned as he stared numbly back at the smoke rising above the tree line.

“No” Max hesitated “It’s just different,” He spoke softly “it’s different to actually see it.” Max turned to Monty, “this isn’t a first for you, is it?”

“No” Monty answered flatly, his eyes still locked on the site of the explosion.

Max eyes took in Monty before shifting back to the smoke. “That was my station,” he said.

“You said you were okay with it” Monty stated plainly.

“I was” he sighed “I am” he corrected himself. “It doesn’t make it easier to see it, though.”

Monty faced him, “it’s Earth, nothing is easy”. With that, Monty continued down the path. Max watched in shock for a few moments before following Monty.

*Bellamy*

“Stop there’s someone ahead” A guard warned Bellamy. They pulled themselves to a stop, panting from the burning in their lungs. They each raised their guns, aiming at the path before them. Wick was unarmed and ducked behind a tree.

“Lower your weapons” Bellamy commanded as Monty came into view.

Bellamy jogged up to him carefully eyeing Max. “Where’s Clarke?” he asked.

“She’s with Murphy” Monty replied.

“What was that explosion?”

Monty’s eyes shifted away from him, “the station”. Bellamy’s eyes narrowed, “You're gonna need to give me more than that.”

“Long story short, it was a trap. I rigged the station to blow remotely. Clarke went back to detonate it.”

Bellamy’s jaw slacked as he rolled his eyes. “And you thought she’d be able to do it?” he undoubtedly questioned then raised his brows “just like that, blow up a station?”

“Judging by the explosion we heard and the smoke in the air it would appear that she had no problem detonating it” Max interrupted. Bellamy barely gave him a glance, “more like _Murphy_ did it” he muttered then shoulder by them.

“Take me to them” he barked at them.

“Clarke’s strong, she can compartmentalize for the mission,” Max told Bellamy.

Bellamy ignored him and continued his speedy hike. “She didn’t hesitate to volunteer; you should give her more credit.”

Bellamy suddenly turned and slammed Max into a tree. “If you knew her at all, you would expect her to volunteer.” He pushed him harder “but you would also know that she’s been pushed too far and done too much that she would _never_ be able to detonate an explosion like that”. Bellamy gave him one last push before concluding “not again” he muttered. He turned back down the path and pulled forward.

It wasn’t long before a blanket of smoke veiled the forest around them. They moved cautiously through it.

“Clarke” Bellamy breathed as he noticed her lying on the ground beside Murphy. He raced to her, his eyes scanning over her for injuries. Monty kneeled next to him, “the blast must have knocked them out”.

Bellamy nodded then motioned to the guards. “Pull out the stretchers, we need to get them back to camp” he ordered. Two of the guards dropped their packs and assembled two stretchers.

They gathered Clarke and Murphy on the stretchers and the guards not carrying them flanked them for protection. No one spoke as they hiked through the dark forest. Bellamy noticed the guards pace had significantly decreased.

“Let’s take a break” He commanded. The relief was apparent on their faces as they lowered the stretchers to the ground.

Bellamy kneeled next to Clarke looking at her with concern. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he shifted his gaze to murphy’s stretcher. Murphy’s hand was rubbing his head while he groaned.

Bellamy stepped over Clarke and squatted between the two. He reached into Murphy’s pack that was tied to the stretcher and withdrew his canteen.

“Here” he offered the canteen to Murphy. Murphy’s eyes took the sight of him through his fingers. He begrudgingly sat up and grabbed the canteen taking a long sip.

“How do you feel?” Bellamy inquired.

“Peachy” Murphy sarcastically responded. “She okay?” he tipped the canteen in Clarkes direction when he noticed her.

Bellamy’s eyes raked over her unconscious body before moving back to him. “She will be.”

Murphy nodded taking another sip.

“What happened back there?” Bellamy asked. Murphy hissed as he adjusted his position and a sharp pain stabbed through his abdomen.

“Let’s just say our people need have out used the ‘greater good’ philosophy” he muttered.

Bellamy’s inquisitive look prodded him to continue.

“Turns out the grounders had taken out most the station. It was pretty much all guards or maintenance guys when we got there.”

“The strongest they had” Bellamy murmured in understanding.

Murphy nodded then continued. “The grounders offered to _not_ kill them if they brought Clarke there and handed her over.”

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed, “why Clarke?”

“It was the Ice Nation; I got a good look at them before we blew their asses up.”

“What’s with him?” Bellamy asked tilting his head slightly to Max. Murphy followed with his eys, “ _He_ is a lousy shot.”

The irritated look Bellamy gave him conveyed the message that he wanted a real answer.

“He helped us get out of the station, then stayed” Bellamy nodded with approval.

“Miller and the guards, Where are they?”

Murphy dropped his gaze to the canteen in his hand. “They didn’t make it” He lifted his eyes to Bellamy, “I’m sorry” he added.

It took Bellamy a moment to process the devastating information.

“At least we got revenge on those bastards,” Murphy said after a while as he raised to his feet.

“What was going on with he explosion?” Bellamy pulled himself from his thoughts, then stood brushing the dirt off his pants.

“Monty rigged a remote detonator so we could blow the station and the grounders to hell.” Murphy pointed to Clarke, “ _She_ ran off with it while we were distracted”.  Bellamy ground down on his teeth as he chanced a glance at Clarke

“I caught up with her, which is good because she checked out. Dropped the detonator and told me to leave.”

“You expected her to act differently?” Bellamy scoffed.

Murphy glared at him, “Well I didn’t expect her to drop the damn thing.”

“And what Murphy?” Bellamy glared back at him “You thought that after _everything_ she would just pull the trigger. Kill an entire station” his brows raised.

“She’s killed before. We all have” Murphy shot back

Bellamy took a threatening step towards him. “Yes, she has. And maybe you’ve heard stories or rumors about what she’s done.” Bellamy towered over him and dropped his voice “but you weren’t there when the guilt from it led her to sacrificed herself to Emerson” his eyes narrowed as he continued. “You didn’t find her chained to a wall beaten within an inch of her life.” Bellamy ground out his words as though they singed his throat with each syllable. “You didn’t listen to her _beg_ to be returned to that hell. You never heard her cry over how unworthy she was of happiness. Of life.”

“Maybe not” Murphy attempted to force the emotions that were rising in his chest. “But I know her well enough to know she’ll always protect everyone.”

“Like you said, she did,” Bellamy said with a tilt of his head.

“No, I said she dropped the damn detonator.” Murphy snapped.

“…and told you to leave” Bellamy gleamed, waiting patiently with his arms crossed over his chest for Murphy to digest his words. Murphy stood stunned once the impact of his words resonated with him.

“She was handing herself over” he murmured to himself mostly.

“And saving everyone, including the station that had trapped her and plotted against her.” Bellamy’s arms gradually unfolded and pulled to his sides.

Bellamy closed the distance between them standing chest to chest. “So don’t tell me about how _well_ you think you know her. Don’t delude yourself into believing that she is _anything_ like you.”

Murphy stared at him before whispering. “That’s why you don’t want her to go anywhere” His eyes narrowed, “You’re afraid she’ll sacrifice herself again.”

Bellamy’s jaw twitched, “I know she will,” he said coolly. “You just confirmed it.”

 

 


	71. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning sexual content

“Bellamy?” Clarke moaned as her eyes fluttered open. Bellamy dropped to his knee on the ground beside her.

“Hey Princess” He crooned as he brushed her hair back gently.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like hell” she moans as she tried to sit up. She hissed and grabbed her arm with the bullet in it as the pressure sent a shooting pain through her.

“Easy there” Bellamy coaxed her back into a comfortable position without putting any weight on her arm.

“What happened?” She groaned.

“What do you remember?” Bellamy asked her before Murphy could insert one of his typical quips.

Clarke rubbed a hand over her eyes before pulling it through her hair. “We were being shot at” her forehead crinkled as she thought back.

“Miller?” she finally said breathlessly. Bellamy's eyes softened as Murphy dropped his head.

“He didn’t make it,” Bellamy said quietly, gauging her reaction. Clarke closed her eyes momentarily as the fact she already knew was confirmed.

“I have some of the guards going back for him,”  Bellamy told her “so we can bury him.”

Clarke swallowed his words hard and nodded. “68” she murmured solemnly. Murphy glanced at her in confusion but chose not to press her for it’s meaning. Bellamy, on the other hand, didn’t  need clarification. The number had already run through his head the moment he learned of Miller’s death. Miller made 68. 68 or the 100 were dead.Some had died in the battles. Some from injuries they incurred during the battles. Some were victims of Mount Weather. Their numbers seemed to be continuously dwindling.

“Monty got a message on the radio, your camp has observed a storm headed our way” Max interrupted the silence that encapsulated the trio as he approached.

Bellamy gave him a nod. “We need to find shelter.”

“There are some caves nearby that I’ve scouted while surveying the land” Max informed him. CLakre shifted to pull herself up, but Bellamy’s large hand reached out and held her down.

“Easy” he warned. “You’re injured.”

“I’m fine” she grumbled at him. Bellamy rolled his eyes, “I’ve heard that more than once”. He reached down and pulled her to her feet gently. He left an arm around her waist to steady her.

“She was shot in the arm, not the leg” Murphy muttered as he knocked into the opposite side of Bellamy.

“You said something about shelter from the impending storm that will kill us?” He said to Max.

Max nodded, “yes, follow me.” His eyes shifted between Bellamy, Murphy, and Clarke before turning to lead the way.

They didn’t have to travel long before they reached the entrances to the small caves. Bellamy ducked his head into the first one. “They’re small, but we’ll all fit if we split up,” He informed the group. “Clarke, Monty you’re with me in that one” he pointed to an opening nearby and Clarke and Monty headed in. Rain began to pelt down on the rest of them as he continued to divide up the guards.  Each running into the caves for shelter as he directed them where to go. Murphy stood drenched in the rain staring at Bellamy after everyone else was safely in the shelter of the caves.

“Am I suppose to stay in the rain?”  he sneered.

“Seems as good a place as any for you” Bellamy shot back, then turned to head into his cave. Murphy rolled his eyes and followed him into the shelter.

“Someone’s been in here” Monty excitedly reported to Bellamy as he entered. Monty pointed to a set up for a fire and a small stash of berries.

“Good, let's  get a fire going so we don’t freeze.”

Monty went to work on the fire while Murphy plopped onto the ground and propped himself up on the wall. Max ran into the cave. “The other one is too full so I volunteered to move into this one.”

Bellamy gave him a  nod then turned abruptly to Clarke, who was making a poor attempt to transfer herself to the ground.

“Clarke wait” He instructed her as he gathered her in his arms and gently deposited hr onto the ground.

“…arm…not the legs” Murphy mumbled under his breath, too low for Clarke or Monty to hear it, but Max and Bellamy did. Bellamy shot him a look then dropped down beside Clarke and leaned forward to help Monty with the fire.  

The blaze was growing soon enough and began to warm Bellamy and Murphy as they began to shake in their wet clothes.  “You need to take them off,”  Clarke told the quivering pair.

“take what off?” Murphy asked her as he tried to force himself to stop shaking.

“Your clothes idiot” Bellamy replied as he pulled his jacket off “we’re not going to get warm  until they are dry.” Bellamy stripped off his shirt, baring his chest.

“Exactly how much of _you_ are we going to have to look at?” Murphy asked as he dropped his jacket to the floor. Bellamy pulled his boots off and placed them near the fire. “at least there’s something to look at” Bellamy replied smugly. He left his pants on then leaned back against the cold wall of the cave. His muscular chest and coiled arms glistened with moisture left behind from his wet shirt. Murphy copied him and pulled everything but his pants off. After a few minutes, Bellamy stopped clenching his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. He wouldn’t go as far as to say he was warm, but he was no longer frozen to the core. Murphy, on the other hand, couldn’t keep his teeth from chattering.

“Murphy you should get closer to the fire,” Clarke told him as she took note of his shivering.

Murphy scooted closer but continued to shake. “Give him the shirt in your pack,” she told Bellamy. Bellamy made a poor attempt at appearing to not know what she was talking about.  Her face dropped in disappointment. “Bellamy” she warned, “I know you keep an extra one in your pack, and you are obviously warm enough without one.”

“Are you telling me we’ve had to stare at him half naked for no reason?” Murphy joked through chattering teeth.

Bellamy threw the shirt at him, “it’s probably too big for you.”

Clarke began to crawl towards Murphy. “Clarke stop, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Bellamy told her wrapping an arm around her waist and carefully placing her back against the wall.

“He needs body heat” she argued. Bellamy glanced at Murphy, who suddenly wore a wide grin then back at Clarke. “Let’s try the shirt first,”   he told her.

“He could catch pneumonia” Clarke argued.

“and I’m still awfully cold” Murphy grinned at him. “Okay then,”  Bellamy said to Clarke. She began to move back toMurphy, but Bellamy raised a hand to her. “If body heat is what he needs, my body’s bigger” Bellamy turned with a lopsided grin to Murphy.

“I think the shirt is working just fine” Murphy replied with narrow eyes, the previous grin erased form his face.

“Rest while you can,” Bellamy told them. “We’ll need to head out as soon as the storm lets up.”

The others adjusted themselves better for sleep and closed their eyes. Bellamy reached his arm around Clarkes shoulders and pulled her to his broad chest. She hesitated, but soon melted into him and fell asleep. The steady pattern of the rain had them all quickly drifting off. All but Bellamy and Max.

“It’s quite a defeat that you all survived before the guard came down.” Max commented.

“What choice did we have?” Bellamy replied coldly.

“Not much of one I suppose.”

Bellamy leaned his head back and closed his tired eyes. “You trust each other” Max stated.

“again, didn’t really have a choice” Bellamy responded without opening his eyes.

“Why would you send a girl to journey to us?” Max interrogated. Bellamy let chuckled without opening his eyes. “You’ll learn women have different roles on Earth.”

“Why did the grounders, as you call them, want Clarke?” he asked, “they demanded we hand her over but never spoke of why.”

“Long story” Bellay responded with resting eyes.

“Does it have anything to do with someone named Lexa?” Max inquired. Bellamy’s eyes opened at her name and he turned to face Max.

“Why?”

“I heard them discussing something about averting an agreement concocted by Clarke and Lexa.”

“That agreement has already been broken” Bellamy relaxed his head back and closed his eyes.

“Huh” Max responded. “they made it seem as if taking Clarke was the only way to prevent whatever this agreement was,”he said more to himself than anything. “something about a Polis?”

Bellamy’s eyes once again shot open. He glanced down at Clarke. “there is no agreement” he said, but didn’t even believe the words himself.

**BACK AT CAMP LATER**

Bellamy walked with Clarke back to her tent after Abby’s technician had extracted the bullet from her arm and stitched the flesh back together. She laid back on her bed, and he sat on the edge.

Bellamy stroked his callused fingers over the side of her face. “I’m glad you’re okay” he whispered.

Clarke smiled up at him as she lost herself in his eyes. “You too.”

Bellamy tilted his head with a low chuckle, “I wasn’t the one in danger.”

Clarke’s hand slide over his, “this is Earth, there’s danger everywhere.”

“True, but-”

“Bellamy” she whispered lightly.

“Yeah” he replied.

“I don’t want to talk” she answered as she continued to gaze into his eyes. “Okay” he nodded caressing her cheek. “tomorrow then”. He reached down and grabbed the blankets that pooled at her feet.

“Bellamy” she called softly again. He faced her again with confusion before his face softened. The words her mouth wouldn’t speak were written across her face. She didn’t want to talk. She wanted to feel. The nightmares that haunted her had returned in full force the prior evening when she had held that detonator. Staring at the station and grounders that she whose fate was literally held in her hands tore into her. The revelation of it, the weight of it had been too much. She didn’t want to talk about it. She _couldn’t_ talk about it. In the same token, though, she wanted to feel. She felt herself slipping into the numb abyss that she imprisoned herself in once before and she didn’t want to disappear into it. Bellamy was her lifeline, he had the impeccable ability to ground her. She gazed into his eyes silently pleading with him to make her _feel_ something, to pull her from the edge.

Bellamy felt his heart melt with the way she looked at him. He leaned over her and brushed his lips gently over hers. She tilted her head to deepen this kiss, but he withdrew slightly from her. He used every ounce of willpower he had to pull away from her. His thumb rubbed her cheek as he spoke. “You need to rest.”

“Please,” she begged with glassy eyes. Bellamy’s lips took hers again before the last sound of her plea could be heard. His tongue slid through her willing lips and explored her mouth gently. He climbed over her, this strong thigh pushing between her legs. Her arms snaked around his back pulling him closer to her. She fisted his shirt, struggling to pull in over his head. She needed to feel his skin, needed the warmth of his flesh. He tore away from the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt the rest of the way off him. His lips crushed back on hers as though they provide the oxygen he needed to breathe. His thigh pushed against her core forcing a soft moan from her. He devoured the sound as it fueled his desire. He moved to his knees pulling her gently with him and yanked her shirt off her before gently laying her back down. His tongue fell into a tender dance with hers as she desperately pressed herself against him.  She needed him more than she could ever describe. He wasn’t just a warm body or increased libido. He was her teacher to life. He knew all her flaws, all her ghosts and loved her anyway. Even though knowledge of her feelings for him terrified her, she couldn’t resist him. She didn’t _want_ to need him, she didn’t _want_ to love him. But the way he could see straight into her, the way her body felt complete when he touched her….kissed her…she couldn’t deny her feelings. Only Bellamy could do this to her, sure it felt great with Finn….but with Bellamy it was so much more.

His fingers skimmed from his open grip on her throat to her chin urging her to open her eyes. The moment her eyes slid open and locked with his he slowly inched into her. He watched her intently as he took her completely. The weight of his body providing a crushing comfort. He pushed every inch of him into her and paused, gazing into her eyes. His intent gaze gradually shifted to her lips. He licked his lips before capturing hers once again as his hips rolled his length in and out of her. Her fingers dug into his back, clinging to him while the wound in her arm screamed internally at her. The more it hurt, the harder the grip she had on him. He could take it away. He had the uncanny ability to slide his abundant strength to her when she needed it.

Her head dropped back as his thrusts escalated in intensity. His lips followed maintaining their hold on hers. He consumed the moan that emanated from her and returned it with a groan of his own. He plunged into her with reckless abandon and she continued to whimper into his mouth. Her nails carved into him as her body convulsed in pleasure. His lips crushed over hers with a growl as his body claimed hers, ejecting his lasting imprint into her.

They clung to each other for the next few minutes before he began to pepper wet kisses over her face. His hold on her had lessened, but her nails continued to dig into his back.  “Hey,” he whispered in his throaty voice planting a kiss on her lips.

He tilted his head back a little to look into her eyes. “hey” he repeated moving a hand to brush her hair from her face.  Fear had crept into her eyes over the minute or so. “I’m here” he whispered. “I won't leave” he kissed her again then pulled up against her biting clutches.

“It’s just you and me,” he said gently. His arm slid around one of hers and pried it off him. “Trust me” he melodiously whispered landing another kiss on her swollen lips. The silky soft chocolate of his eyes disintegrated the fear in hers and with it her grip on him slacked. He transferred himself to his back, pulling her onto his chest as he did. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and he guided her head onto his shoulder. Her arm glided over his stomach until he caught her hand in his. He pulled it over his heart as his thumb caressed the back of her hand.

“From now on” his raspy voice cut through the tent, “we stay together” he declared. 


	72. Ignoring Responsiblities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual Content

Bellamy woke to Clarke’s back pressed into his front as they lay together on their sides. He breathed her in, embracing the rarity of the moment. His hand slid from her stomach and skimmed over the feminine curvature of her hip. Gliding his hand gently down her leg before returning back over her waist. Clarke’s body subconsciously snuggled closer to him while she remained in a deep sleep. His hand instinctively gripped the indention of her hip with her movement, pulling her hips flush against his. An involuntary groan escaped his throat as the result of their motions pressed against her low back. Though his strong grasp on her remained, her hips rolled toward his.

“Clarke” he sighed into the back of her neck as he buried his face in her hair. His hand guided her hips to grind into his again, he grunted as her soft curves melted into him. A soft moan slipped from her lips as she crooned her neck allowing him access. His mouth claimed the delicate juncture where her neck connected with her shoulder. Her hand moved behind her and raked through his dark curly locks as he continued his attack on her sensitive flesh. Clarke’s breaths became ragged and her grip on his head pulled him closer. Grinding his hips into hers once again coerced a strained moan from deep within her. “Bellamy” she panted. He moved his kisses under her chin, then to the corner of her mouth until she angled her head so he could have her lips.

His hand slide between her legs and to her core. The damp moisture that coated his fingers fueled his hungry kiss on her mouth.

“Clarke?” a knock pounded on the door as Raven’s voice split through their intimate embrace.

They both froze, freeing their mouths from one another. Clarke took a nervous breath and Bellamy could feel her words before she called to Raven. His free hand covered her mouth while the one on her core plunged a finger deep into her.

“Do. NOT. Answer her” he commanded in a whisper. Her eyes widened at his actions and she struggled unsuccessfully to gain control over her reaction. Bellamy slides his finger out, and then added another. His eyes locked on hers.

“Bellamy?” Raven’s voice called from the other side of the door.

Bellamy’s jaw tightened as his eyes warned her not to respond. Her lips parted and he curved his fingers inside her. He pressed his lips to her ear then whispered his warning. “It’s you and me right now. No camp, no counsel. Just you and me.” A gasp shot through her lungs as he swirled his fingers inside her and moved his lips back to hers.

Raven fist pound on the door, “Maybe they aren’t in there” Wick voice.

“Or _maybe_ they’re just sleeping.” She pounds on the door again, “Blake!” she shouted.

Clarke’s mouth broke from his momentarily, but his face demanded she ignore the unwelcome intrusion. He kissed her slowly and pulled her back flush onto the bed. Carefully poisoning himself between her legs. Before Clarke knew what he was doing, he had replaced his fingers with his anxious length. Her head lulled back as he thrust into her. He swallowed her moan once his mouth reclaimed hers. He rocked into her at a tantalizingly slow pace; eradicating any notion she had to respond to the incessant pounding on the door.

 

** Later, Out in Camp **

“Where have you two been? We’ve been looking all over for you” Raven exclaimed jogging up to them.

“Busy” Bellamy answered shortly.

“Busy where? We looked in your room and t-”

“Is there something you wanted” Bellamy interrupted her thoughts. Raven was slightly taken aback but shook it off easily.

“Jaha locked Murphy up” she reported.

Clarke’s head shook, “What? Why? On what charges?” the questioned flew in rapid succession from her mouth.

“Murder”

“Murder? Whose?”  Clarke interrogated.

Raven hesitated before replying, “Millers.”

“Miller? But he was killed by the other station.”

“According to Murphy” Raven murmured.

“You can’t possibly believe Murphy killed him” Clarke accused, with a hardened look. Raven avoided looking at her. “We were in the tree above him!” she exclaimed.

“So you _didn’t_ see what happened then?” Bellamy challenged. Clarke turned face to face with him, “why would he kill Miller. What motive could he possibly have?”

Bellamy’s hands planted themselves on his hips as he rolled his eyes away from her. “He hated Miller, and he has a track record of killing the people he doesn’t like.”

Clarke stepped closer to him, “He’s had dozens of chances to kill Miller before, why would he do it with us right above him?” She watched as he mulled over her words, then continued. “He may have killed people in the past, but he hasn’t since the dropship. And the ones he _did_ kill had tried to kill him.”

“You’re making excuses for him now?” Bellamy growled at her.

“No” she stepped back slightly. “I’m just saying he had his reasons if he wanted to kill Miller he would have done it before now.” Her eyes pleased with his. “And he _wouldn’t_ have had witnesses nearby.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes with the irritation of knowing she was probably right. He raked his fingers through his hair before cursing, “Damn it.”

He focused in on Clarke, “ _Murphy_ is the only one that was with Jaha in the City of Light” his brows drew up as he continued, “He’s the _only one_ that watched Jaha kill our own to get there.”

“Jaha’s discrediting him” she finished his thoughts. “So no one will believe him.”

“Just like we didn’t” Raven muttered.

“They won’t believe him if they know what he did before he they arrived” Clarke said.

“And the 100 wont believe him if they’re reminded of it”

“Jaha’s going to use Millers death to turn everyone against Murphy….so if he ever comes forward about his escapade to the City of Light no one will believe him” Bellamy concluded.

“We’re screwed” Raven groaned.

 


	73. Laws to Abide

"Awe Princess did you come to bring me my last meal?" Murphy joked as Clarke entered the cell he was being held in. "Or is this a conjugal visit?" he added once he caught sight of Bellamy in his peripheral.

"Why do you want to save his ass again?" Bellamy asked Clarke.

"He didn't kill him Bellamy" she replied.

"Maybe," Bellamy said.

"I didn't kill Miller" Murphy proclaimed.

"Then who did?" Bellamy shot back.

"The guards against the other station," Murphy said. "Why would I kill Miller?" he asked.

"You tried to kill me" Bellamy accused.

Murphy glared at him, "You" he said, "are an asshole."

"Knock it off you two!" Clarke demanded. She knelt down in front of Murphy. "You're hurt," she said noting the way he pandered to one side.

"Just a little tasering" Murphy tried to downplay his injury. "Not like I was hung from a tree" he added glaring at Bellamy. Clarke pulled his shirt up to exam the extent of the injury. The burned flesh was tender and he shied from her touch. Clarke looked up sympathetically at him. "I need to clean this."

"I need to get him to the medical bay," she told Bellamy.

"We can't exactly parade him around camp right now" he replied

"It could get infected" Clarke exclaimed.

"He  _is_  an infection!" Bellamy shot back. Clarke glared up at him from the floor and Bellamy knew he needed to set his grudge aside. He rolled his eyes, "We can't take him out of here. It will jeopardize my seat on the council which won't help matters any."

Bellamy raked his eyes begrudgingly over Murphy. "We'll bring the supplies here."

"good idea" Clarke commended pulling herself to her feet. "I'll gather what I need from the medical bay, no one should notice."

"I'll see what the council has planned for him" Bellamy added. "You go first, I don't want people seeing us leave together. They'll know we're planning something."

"Yeah, cause no one will believe you're trying to save me without her" Murphy scoffed at him.

Bellamy's hard stare snapped to him, "I've saved your ass more times than I should have."

"and I've saved your ass too" Murphy murmured.

"You also tried to hang me" Bellamy accused.

"right back at ya" Murphy replied not missing a beat. The two shared a heated glare, neither noticing that Clarke had left before they started their bickering. Bellamy took a hard turn and stormed out of the room.

***In the council room***

"He killed a member of the guard," Kane said to Bellamy "the punishment is death."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "he didn't kill Miller" he said gruffly.

"I examined his body, he was shot by one of our guns" Abby replied.

"Because he was shot by the guard from the other station" Bellamy's irritation coated his words as he spoke through gritted teeth.

"According to Murphy" Kane added.

"Yes, he was the only witness" Bellamy snapped.

"You've said it yourself, he murdered three of the 100" Abby responded.

Bellamy shook his head. "Two" he glared at her, "he killed two of them."

"and attempted to kill you," Kane said pointedly.

Bellamy's eyes had dropped to the ground briefly before he spoke. "and I kicked the chair out from under him and left him hanging from a tree."

"You were executing the punishment to a murderer" Abby rationalized.

"But he didn't kill Wells! Charlotte did" Bellamy exclaimed. Bellamy breathed in long and hard, letting out a sigh as his hand raked over his face. "We were thrown into an impossible situation" he glanced at Kane. "100 kids were sent down here to see if we could survive." He shook his head. "Only the threat we faced was unimaginable to you." He stared at Kane. "We didn't have guns when we arrived" he looked at Abby. "We didn't have medical equipment."

His eyes skimmed over the room before locking back withKane. "I was here with 98 scared kids that were being picked off and killed by one thing or another" he glanced back to Abby. "That kind of pressure" he sighed and shifted his gaze back to Kane "it got to all of us" he looked at the ceiling, before closing his eyes. "We all did things that we aren't proud of."

He opened his eyes with a newly soft look in them. "I'm not saying what Murphy did then was right, it wasn't. But we left him out to be tortured by the grounders-twice." His eyes hardened once more. "He's paid his debt. He wouldn't have killed Miller" he shook his head, "not now. Maybe then, but not now."

"How can you be sure?" Kane demanded.

"Because he's not alone anymore," he said firmly. "He killed those kids because the  _only_  people he trusted turned on him. He has people he trusts now" he swallowed. "People he  _knows_  won't turn on him" he looked at Kane. "He may have hated Miller, but he didn't do this."

Kane sighed and looked to Abby momentarily with concession. "Touching words, but, unfortunately, they hold no weight" Jaha's voice bellowed as he entered from the doorway where he had been lurking.

"By your own admission he killed two others" he stared at Bellamy. "Even if he is innocent of Millers murder, he's guilty of the others."

"He's received punishment for those already" Bellamy's throaty voice challenged.

"By your standards. Not by the Arks" Jaha replied coolly, taking his seat.

"Our standards were all that we had at the time" Bellamy scoffed.

"Not anymore. Such violent behavior must receive the proper punishment."

"and what punishment should be given for trying to set off an atomic bomb?" Bellamy challenged leaning onto the table.

"Watch yourself Bellamy Blake" Jaha's calm voice raked into Bellamy's nerves. "Such accusation will lead you to a capital punishment of your own."

"It wasn't an accusation, just a question. Why so defensive?" Bellamy smirked at him.

Jaha leaned onto his folded hands on the table, "John Murphy will be executed in the morning." He said with a chilling tone. "For the murders of two children of the Ark." The two were at a standstill, both hatefully starring at the other.

"You can't do that" Bellamy growled.

A twisted smile formed on Jaha's face. "A member of the council has indicted him for the two murders." He leaned further on the table. "and Your indictment as a member of this council will be the reason for his execution."

Shock visibly washed over Bellamy's face as the devastating reality of his words resonated within him. There was nothing he could say to sway the council's decision, and now his words were what would lead to Murphy's death. His awe-struck face turned to Abby and Kane, silently pleading with them before he spoke.

"You can't let him do this" his stunned words rolled off his tongue as his heart pounded against his ribcage. Kane and Abby's faces had softened as they absorbed the situation. Each of their minds racing, but any ideas were fleeting. They were well trained to follow orders. Falling in line with the centuries-old rules was the only way they knew how to function, but it was something the 100 had learned to challenge. The means for survival had changed the 100, and falling in line with ridiculous rules wasn't something they were eager to do. Even though Kane and Abby wanted to object, they didn't know how. Jaha's confident smile grew as he rested back into his chair.

"You would kill him just to save yourself?" Bellamy's deep voice accused as his face turned to stone.

"I'm not killing anyone" Jaha bellowed. "I'm ordering an execution for the murder of two teenagers. It's not a personal matter."

Bellamy pushed to his feet, his strong legs shoving the chair from behind him. His hands slammed onto the table. "You killing him because he's the only one that knows what you were really up to in the City of Light" he shouted.

The amusement drained from Jaha's face and his voice was cold when he responded. "Mind your words Blake. Or John Murphy won't be the only one executed in the morning" he warned.

"You can't let him do this" he yelled at Kane, then glared at Abby expectantly.

"He's following the law, there's nothing to do" Kane begrudgingly replied.

***Clarke and Murphy***

"stop squirming" Clarke demanded as Murphy once again pulled away as she tried to clean his burn.

"Stop pouring that shit on me!" he replied.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "it's just water."

"It doesn't feel like water" he snarled.

"I have to clean it with the water first. I'll tell you before I use the alcohol" she replied, moving closer to him once again.

"You are  _not_  pouring alcohol on that," he told her. She looked up at him from the nasty burn with annoyance brimming in her eyes. "Would you rather it get infected?"

"Right now?" he said "yes."

Clarke's eyes rolled once again before shifting her concentration back to the burn. "don't be such a baby." She poured the cold water over the burn once more and Murphy hissed in retaliation. Once the dirt flowed from the damaged skin, she reached for the alcohol. "Okay, this may sting a little."

Clarke poured a small amount of it on him."AHH!" He screamed as the liquid sizzled on his wound.

The door slammed open startling them both, resulting in Clarke pouring a large amount of the torturous alcohol onto his burn. "God-damn it- Motherfucker!" the slew of curse words flew from his mouth as the pain seared into him. His body jolted back as far as he could go while being handcuffed to the pole behind him.

"Shit!" Clarke muttered then grabbed dry towels attempting to blot off some of the painful liquid. Murphy squirmed away as she did.

"What happened?" Bellamy inquired as he moved to them.

"She's trying to kill me before Jaha!" Murphy squealed.

"I'm  _trying_  to clean his wounds" she muttered while shoving a dressing over his burn.

"I'd rather take another round with the taser" Murphy ground out through clenched teeth.

"There," Clarke said as she smoothed over the adhesive edges of the bandage, "done."

"now you can stop whining," she told him. She gathered her supplies and stood to face Bellamy.

"I have to get these back before someone notices." Bellamy nodded, not quite meeting her eyes.

"How did the meeting with the council go?" She asked before leaving.

"It went" he replied shortly, his eyes shifting to the side.

Worry consumed Clarke's face, "Do you have a plan?"

Bellamy glanced at Murphy then finally met Clarke's gaze, swallowing hard before he replied. "Yeah"

Clarke nodded, "good."

"Take the stuff back, I'll meet you in your tent after," he told her. Clarke exited the room appeased by his words.

Murphy stared up at Bellamy from the floor. "There is no plan, is there?" He asked.

Bellamy's eyes dropped then blinkingly shifted to the side, "there's a plan."

"Is there a plan where I  _don't_  end up dead?"

Bellamy's shifty eyes met his, "there is."

Murphy studies him cautiously. "What is it?"

Bellamy's eyes shifted away from him, "you don't need to know."

"I don't need to know the plan to keep me from my execution" Murphy scoffed.

"No" Bellamy snapped at him, "you don't."

"Forgive me if I don't just take you at your word" Murphy replied.

"You'll find out soon enough" Bellamy growled at him.

Silence had simmered between them before Bellamy turned to leave.

"In case your secret plan doesn't work" Murphy's words stopped Bellamy. "Answer something for me."

Bellamy turned back to him. "Why is it that Clarke has no recollection of what happened to Emerson?"

Bellamy froze momentarily before responding. "because I made her forget" his sharp words cut through the room and shocked Murphy.

"With an herb" his voice softened. "I made her forget."

"and why would you do that?" Murphy questioned in disbelief.

"Because I won't let that one selfless act buy your redemption with her from your numerous traitorous ones" Bellamy growled at him in a low tone. His hardened eyes glaring into Murphys.

"What's the matter, Bellamy?" Murphy challenged. "Afraid of where she would spend her nights if she knew?" The words barely made it out of his mouth before Bellamy's steel fist slammed into his jaw. Murphy's tied hand grabbed the tender area that took the blow as he spit a mouthful of blood onto the floor. Bellamy turned to walk away, but Murphy's sinister laugh made him turn back.

"I may be a murderous bastard" another laugh cracked through his swelling jaw. Murphy rubbed his jaw. "but I've never lied to her " he peered up at Bellamy.


	74. Shattered Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I know it's been a while. I had a couple chapters written out that just needed final touches...however, my computer died....and my onedrive thought it would be cute to only save until chapter 63 :( So I'm stuck rewriting the chapters, trying to remember what I had in them :(

Bellamy entered Clarke’s tent at a low pace. She had already removed her shoes, freeing her feet from the painfully hard soles. She glanced up at him as she pulled herself free from her jacket.

“So what’s the plan? “She asked dropping the jacket aside and moving to stand in front of him. Bellamy’s eyes softened as they met with hers. He shook his head slowly and took a step forward.

“Not now” he whispered cupping her cheek as he closed the distance between them. He leaned into her, but she dodged his kiss.   
“Bellamy” she objected. He gently pulled her back, caging her face between his large hands. Bellamy’s warm eyes gazed into her serious ones. “Trust me” he commanded gently as his thumb caressed her cheek as his eyes shifted to her lips, then returned to meet her gaze.

“My plan will work” he assured her. “But right now” his licked his lips as his gaze lowered to her lips. “Right now I just need you.”

His lips caressed hers, gently negotiating a moment of physical need. Her resolve didn’t stand a chance against the tenderness of his touch. Her lips parted allowing his silky tongue the access it desired. His hand glided behind her hand, weaving his fingers through her hair as his tongue took her invitation.

His free arm wrapped around her and gently pulled her closer. The uncharacteristically gentleness of his touch left her defenseless to her body's natural inclination to melt into him. His hand massaged the back of her head as his mouth embraced hers. The hand on her back snaked it’s way underneath her shirt and over her milky skin. He glided her shirt up, but Clarke’s hand covered his stopping him.

“Bellamy, we can’t do this right now” She whispered, her mind trying to pull away from him, but her body fighting with every fiber of her. Bellamy’s hand shifted back to her cheek and held her face to look at him.

“My plan will work, he’ll be fine.” He comforted her. “Trust me” he kissed her tenderly. “please” he begged with an uncanny vulnerability.  He stole anther kiss, then leaned back to meet her eyes.

“What’s going on,” she asked as she noted the tangible weakness in him at the moment. He kissed her again and braced his forehead against hers. “Today I realized that we’re not safe” he looked into her clear eyes. “Not from the grounders, not from Earth” something in his eyes shifted. “Not from our leaders” he whispered with a broken voice.

He leaned back, and the arm he held around her steeled. “this is what we have” he whispered.

“ _This_ is our safety” his lips hovered over to her “ _this_ is our peace,” he kissed her softly.

His eyes held hers as he whispered, “I love you” then his mouth captured hers before she could process the words. His words drifted through her as his mouth claimed hers. She whimpered against him as his bare chest pressed against hers. She wasn't sure when he had managed to remove their shirts, but the warmth of his skin was irresistible.

He maneuvered both of them, freeing them from their remaining clothing. The fluidity of his movements and the gentleness of his touch penetrated the remaining wall Clarke had around her heart. It was the only part of her that he hadn't been able to touch, because she was afraid of allowing herself to feel that deeply. At his moment, though, with his heart on his sleeve as he kissed her so softly…she had no choice but to give herself over to him. To fully allow him access to her, to feel things she vehemently had fought off. His arm looped under her legs and back as he lifted her off the floor. He gently laid her down on the bedding and climbed on top of her. He kissed her so softly it almost brought a tear to her eyes.

“Look at me” he whispered.

She opened her eyes and he took her. He made love to her in a way she didn’t know possible. Something had changed in him. He was still strong as ever, his coiled arms and neck glistening with the building sweat was proof of his strength. However, there was a weakness to him…a vulnerability that she never thought someone as strong as Bellamy could have. He held her as they released in an explosion of physical and emotional release.

Their pants evening out, as they stared into each other completely sated. His arms enveloped her as he buried his face in her neck. The weight of him on her providing a blanket of security that only he could provide her. Even at this moment, where his defenses were down, she felt safe and free. She could feel how emotionally bare he was. She rubbed his back, soothingly. Hoping to provide the same safety blanket he so freely gave to her. She moved one hand to his head. Taking the moment to caresses his tangled curls. He tilted his head, planting a kiss on her neck. He let out a weighted sigh before pulling himself up onto his arms again.

“I have to tell you something” he regretfully admitted. “I need to put everything out there” he added. Clare’s sated gaze stared up at him with as a smile played on her face.

Bellamy soaked up the moment, absorbing the adoring look in her eyes. His mind screamed at him to not ruin the innocence and purity of the moment, but his heart continued to tear away at him. He shook the thoughts from his head, breaking their gaze. “I lied to you” he admitted. His eyes paused briefly before realigning with hers. Clarke’s brows furrowed slightly, she looked at him with a hint of amusement.

Bellamy took in one last look before his confession would destroy the gleam in her eyes.  That knowledge seared through him with such a harsh brutality that he had to look away. Through everything he has always had her trust, and this confession would obliterate that.

“Tomorrow” he growled, more to himself than her. He flopped down on his back, pulling Clarke halfway over him as he did. The muscles on his arms tensed as he enveloped her with them, pulling her against him. She happily complied, her head finding a comfortable pillow from his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head, breathing her in. He knew it was selfish to keep this moment, he didn’t deserve it. The comfort that he found in her wouldn’t be so freely given if he had gone through with his confession. He needed her, though, he couldn’t resist the peace of the moment. He couldn’t bring himself to dismantle the trust she so easily gave him. The trust he knew he didn’t deserve.

 _Just one more night_ he thought to himself, pulling her into him.

“Tomorrow” he repeated to himself.

 

 

 

 


	75. A Villainous Hero

Bellamy held Clarke close throughout the night. Her peaceful sleep consumed his heart as his mind raced with what was to come. The moment light first crept into the tent, Clarke began to stir. Bellamy hadn't slept. The coming day haunted his thoughts as much as the desire to keep Clarke in his arms. Bellamy’s thoughts were interrupted by Clarke moving to free herself from his grasp. His arms locked around her, forcing her to remain against him.

“Bellamy” she struggled against his steeled hold.

“No” his voice rumbled as he maintained his grasp on her.

He rolled onto of her, caging her in between his strong arms. “Theres something I need to tell you” he confessed with a solemn tone.

“How are we going to deal with Murphy” She questioned, getting down to business.

Bellamy sighed, “I told you I have that handled” his eyes locked on hers. “I have something i need to tell you”

“What is your plan with Murphy?” Clarke questioned, unwilling to subsume to the intimate moment that Bellamy was insisting on.

“Clarke” he tried to redirect her.

“Bellamy we ned to work on whatever your plan is” She pushed with no avail against him.

“Clarke” he growled.

“Bellamy come on, we don’t have time for this” she warned struggling against him.

Bellamy grabbed her face, resting his weight on his elbows that braced around her shoulders. “Clarke” he demanded.

“What!?” She snapped. His eyes soaked her in before his mouth plummeted on hers. She turned her head, dodging the gesture.

He let out a frustrated growl before pulling back.

“Come on, we need to- “

“I lied to you” he interrupted her demand.

Clarke stopped struggling against him, his words freezing her throughout. She starred up at him in disbelief.

“Whatever it is, i’m sure you-” he once again interrupted her. “ Emerson is dead”

“I know” she said in frustration then continued her fight against his hold.

Bellamy’s face flustered in confusion “you know?”

Clarke looked up at him angrily “Murphy told me.”

Bellamy fell over onto his back, allowing the freedom Clark was so desperately seeking. She sat on the edge of the bed and began to dress.

“Murphy told you” he repeated in disbelief. He couldn't understand how she wasn't upset with him. Something stirred inside him forcing his hand to latch onto her arm. “What exactly did Murphy tell you” he demanded. Clarke attempted to pull her arm free so she could bring her shirt down.

“Just that he was dead” Bellamy’s grasp lightened just enough that she yanked her arm from him and pulled her shirt on.

Bellamy racked his brain, why isn’t she mad at me? “Did he say how?” he timidly asked.

“No, now what is the plan?” Clarke replied pulling to her feet.

Bellamy grabbed her a yanked her gently back onto the bed

“Bellamy!” she shouted as her back fell against the bed.

He once again caged her between his arms while his weight held her beneath him. “Murphy shot him” he told her, searching her eyes before proceeding.

The information washed over her leaving nothing but confusion in its wake. “Why would Murphy shoot him?” She questioned.

Bellamy looked down at her with an intense hesitation, he knew the words he spoke next would change her view of everything.

“To protect you” he whispered. HIs gaze bore through her, not wanting to admit the rest. He had regretted his actions the moment he had done them, but there was no going back now. She had to know.

“why would he…”

“He protected you, it doesn't matter how, but he did” He cut her off. He didn't want her to know that Emerson would have died at her hand had Murphy not intervened. That wasn't something she needed to know. All she needed to know was that Murphy wasn't the monster in this situation…..He was.

“..but I”

“I gave you an herb, it made you forget” He confessed, his words hardening with each breath in anticipation of the moment she pulled away from him.

“You…” she shook her head “you wouldn't do that” her face had paled as an unwanted feeling settled into her.

“I did” he replied coldly. His hand stroked her hair gently as he memorized her face.

“Why?” she breathed. Bellamy’s head shook slightly.

“I didn't want you to see him like that” he confessed. “I wanted you to hate him”

Though she couldn't physically move away from him, he felt her withdrawal. With every betrayed emotion that invaded her eyes, his heart tore apart. He fought to keep a stoic appearance. “I don’t believe you” her body began to tremble beneath him. Her words cut through him, forcing heavy breaths into his lungs He fought every urge inside him to wrap her in his arms and deny the whole thing.

He ground down hard on his teeth, his jaw twitching against his resolve. “Ask Lincoln, he gave me the herb” his cold voice burned his throat. “Murphy selflessly saved you, and I manipulated you so you wouldn't trust him” he added.

“Why?” the word choked her. Bellamy sucked in a heavy breath. _Because I was afraid to loose you. Because I love you. Because I should have stopped you before it ever came to that_. His heart screamed at him to admit the truth, but he steeled himself against it’s pleas.

“Why!?” she slammed her hands into his shoulders as tears built in her eyes. “You drugged me!?” she shoved into him again. “how could you?!” she demanded, her hands now pounding against him.

 _I should have been the one to protect you. I should have kept you from ever going through the hell you’ve been through_. Instead of allowing his thoughts to flow through him freely, he grabbed her arms pinning them to the bed.

“I did it” he stared into her “I drugged you, I lied to you” he growled.

“And Murphy” he breathed.

“Murphy saved you”


	76. Execution Day

Bellamy left the tent while Clarke starred at him in disbelief. He took advantage of the moment to escape without her following.   
Clarke stood in the tent gaping at the place Bellamy had stood.  
He lied to me the thought ran through her mind and tore into her heart like a freight train.   
Murphy saved you his words seared into her, leaving her baffled and confused.   
She stood there for an indiscernible amount of time before her head caught up with her and she realized she needed to figure out how to keep Murphy from an execution. Her trust in whatever Bellamy said he had planned disappeared with his shocking revelation. She stormed out of the tent. The commotion towards the gate of the camp caught her attention, and she headed towards it.

“Today we will have justice for the brutal murders of two of our young, and the attempted murder of a council member”Jaha’s voice boomed throughout the camp. He stood on a small podium beside Murphy, who was surrounded by two guards.   
“Once the execution has commenced we will set forth on our journey to the City of Light where we will find our salvation and in doing so prevent any more of these heinous crimes being committed by our own” Jaha looked over the crowd. “We have lost too many, have suffered too much. The City of Light will provide us the opportunity to correct these injustices and give us the security we were accustomed to while in the security of the ark.”  
Clarke rolled her eyes at the sight of the people absentmindedly believing the bullshit Jaha preached.

“John Murphy” Jaha bellowed as he turned to face the restrained teenager. “You are charged with the crime of murdering two members of the Ark and the attempted murder of a member of the council.”   
“He wasn't a member of the council then” Murphy sneered.  
“Your punishment for these crimes as dictated by our laws is execution” Jaha announced. Murphy’s typical smirk had faded from his face as the reality of his situation sunk in. His face hardened as he glared at Jaha. Jaha moved closer to him. “Do you have any last words son?”   
The glare Murphy gave to Jaha should have cut straight through him, “Yeah, I’m not your son” he growled.  
Jaha turned back to the crowd, “As we no longer have the means to float criminals, the execution will be enacted through a shot through the brain” Jaha began to descend from the podium while the guards tied Murphys arms to two poles constructed towards the center of it.  
“You can’t do this!” Clarke cried out as she pushed through people and closer to the podium.  
“Restrain her” Jaha ordered. A guard appeared from behind her and yanked her arms behind her back, then pulled her to the back of the crowd. Clarke screamed “let me go! This isn’t right!” as she struggled against the guards hold on her.   
Another guard kicked her behind her knees forcing her to the ground as the other snapped handcuffs over her wrists. The guard dragged her back to her feet while she continued to fight.   
“This execution is unwarranted” Bellamy’s voice bellowed through the audience causing Clarke to slowed in her efforts to escape the guard. Bellamy walked to the podium with a confident stride, stopping only when he was beside Murphy.   
“The conviction has been made, you yourself are the one that accused John Murphy of said crimes” Jaha boasted.

Bellamy stole a quick glance at Clarke before proceeding with words that would cut into her more than his resent confession.  
“I was wrong.”   
Clarke froze, and Murphy’s head swung to face Bellamy.  
Jaha stepped back onto the makeshift stage and addressed Bellamy.   
“You yourself accused him of these crimes. Do you have new evidence to the contrary.”  
Bellamy glared at Jaha, his strong arms crossed over his broad chest. He knew what he was doing, the gravity of it. He didn’t risk another glance at Clarke as he feared his resolve would falter.  
Jaha took another step to Bellamy. “Do you have new evidence?” he demanded.  
“No” Bellamy ground out.  
“If you have no new evidence, then how were you wrong Councilman Blake?” the gleam in Jaha’s eye nauseated Bellamy and momentarily had him regretting not killing him when he took his shot before.  
Murphy’s jaw fell open as he starred at Bellamy with a mixture of shock and admiration. Clarke’s face portrayed a look of horror. “no” she whispered  
“Don’t be an idiot Bellamy” Murphy coughed out under his breath.  
“Was your accusation against John Murphy truthful?” Jaha demanded once more.  
“No” Bellamy growled.  
“No” Clarke whispered in disbelief. “No!” she shouted her body beginning to tremble.  
Shocked gasps and whispers broke out through the audience.  
Jaha peered over the crowd before returning his gaze to Bellamy. “Are you admitting to making a false accusation, Councilman Blake.”   
Bellamy’s teeth were grinding, and the muscle in his jaw twitched, “Yes.”  
The gasps and whispered were louder and consumed the large group of people.  
“No!” Clarke’s cry sliced through the crowd and seared Bellamy’s ears, but he refused to react to it. Her fight against the guards holds intensified, leaving the guard with no other option but to pull her from the crowd. She continues her fight with a ferocity which resulted in the guard slamming her into a nearby wall until a second guard reappeared and aided the first.   
“Bellamy. No!!” She screamed and thrashed against the guards.  
“What are you doing?” Murphy asked in a low voice as he starred across at Bellamy. Bellamy made no move to look anywhere besides Jaha and ignoring the other voices.  
“You do realize the punishment for a false accusation as a council member is an execution, do you not?” Jaha questioned. 

“I do” Bellamy replied coolly.  
“What are you doing, you know I did this?” Murphy snapped at him.  
“Release him” Bellamy commanded the guards by Murphy.   
“Bellamy Blake you are nearby stripped of your title and sentenced to execution by a bullet through the head” Jaha declared.   
Half the crowd argued against the verdict while the guards untied Murphy and took Bellamy into custody.  
“Why are you doing this? I killed them, I cold blood and you know it” Murphy ran to him as soon as his hand were freed.   
“I’m making this right” Bellamy answered bluntly.  
“this isn’t right” Murphy shook his head then stepped into him. “You’re taking a punishment for crimes I committed.”  
The audience couldn't hear Murphy’s confession due to the increasing rowdiness and objections swelling within it.  
“Would you have killed them if I hadn't let them hang you?” Bellamy barked in a hushed voice at him. Murphy’s face paled as he stared questioningly at him.  
“No, you wouldn’t" Bellamy’s eyes betrayed him and placed out into the crowd to Clarke. An alarmed looked washed over him when he didn’t find her right away. Once his eyes landed on her being shoved to the ground with a guard kneeling over her his face morphed from alarmed to menacing. His head snapped back to Murphy  
“Get those guards off her, and get her out of here” he ordered Murphy.  
“I’m not leaving you here to die for me” Murphy’s words came out slow and broken.  
“It’s done, nothing you can do about that now. What you can do is getting that guard off her and get her out of here. She doesn't need to see this.”  
“Why are you doing these” Murphys words were uncharacteristically soft.  
Bellamy looked back at Clarke before narrowing his eyes at Murphy  
“I’m righting a wrong; I should never have let them hang you. Now are you gonna deny a dying man's last wish?”  
Murphy swallowed hard as he stared at the man that was once a friend, and now an undeniably honorable leader.  
“No,” he said before turning and heading towards Clarke.   
“Hey Murphy” Bellamy called to him.  
Murphy turned back to the man that was saving him from his death sentence by taking it on himself.  
“Give that guard hell for me,” Bellamy said with a lopsided grin.


	77. The Kings Speech

Murphy's rammed his shoulder into the guards stomach and tackled him to the ground. Clarke kicked the other guard in the groin then slammed her heel into his forehead, effectively knocking the guard unconscious. She struggled to get to her feet while her hands were still bound by the handcuffs behind her back. A few punches to the other guard and he joined his friend in the land of the unconscious. Murphy shook his throbbing fist out then turned back to Clarke. He wrapped her under her arm and helped her to her feet. Once her feet hit the ground, she bolted towards Bellamy. Murphy snatched her hands and pulled up forcing her to bend at the waist. From there, Murphy wrapped his arms around her waist, and half carried/ half dragged her to the nearest building. All the while Clarke screamed and cursed him, struggling against him.

He managed to dodge her numerous kicks and attempts to headbutt him backwards. He shoved her into the room, and she fell to her knees. He grabbed a rag and pulled her backwards until she was in front of a structural pole in the room. He looped the rag through her handcuffs then secured it to the pole. She continued to scream and thrash about.

"Murphy what are you doing we have to help him!" She yelled at him with a reddened face.

"He told me to keep you away; that's what I'm doing," Murphy told her flatly.

"How can you just stand there-they'll kill him for this!" her words were a mixture of anger and pain. Murphy turned away from her, taking a seat at a nearby table.

Clarke starred at him with horror and disbelief. "Murphy please" she pleaded, the skin on her wrists breaking and bleeding as she continued to try to free her hands.

"you might want to start figuring out a way to keep Jaha from the City of Light and his bomb, or we're all gonna be dead," Murphy told her.

"Murphy!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks while her blood painted her hands crimson.

"He's out there for you" she cried, her voice breaking.

"he chose to be out there" he snapped at her.

"He did it for you!" she cried, "he doesn't deserve this!" anger weaved back into her voice.

"but I do?" Murphy challenge.

Clarke starred at him; it was as if he were challenging her. Daring her to decide whose life had more value, who she would rather see die at this moment.

"Neither of you deserves it" she replied staring into him.

Murphy's jaw slacked, and she couldn't read what affect her answer had had on him.

"You can't let them kill him," she said.

"He took your place out there, and you're just going to walk away and let them kill him?"

"he knew what he was doing when he lied up there" Murphy sneered.

Her eyes narrowed accusingly at him, "So. Did. You."

***Bellamy***

"Bellamy Blake for your crimes you are hereby sentenced to death by a bullet to the head that will take place immediately" Jaha announced.

The guards tied Bellamy's wrists to the poles that only moments before held Murphy.

Bellamy glared at Jaha throughout the process.

The crowds murmurs grew louder until they morphed into objections.

"Bellamy Blake has admitted to this crime. I understand this is upsetting for you all to know that such a high ranking member of our society has put himself in this position, but the law must be upheld" Jaha addressed the crowd.

"Such a matter is out of my hands, a member of the council can not be allowed to make false accusations. Allowing such an atrocity would provide free reign for more malicious acts" Jaha reassured the people. The objects quieted, and Jaha took that as a green light.

"Bellamy Blake, do you have any last words?" Haha asked him with a calculating look.

Bellamy held his glare momentarily before turning to the crowd and speaking.

"I haven't always been the best leader," he said silencing the crowd.

"I've done things that I'm not proud of" his eyes scanned the crowd.

"When I first came down here, I didn't understand the weight of leading. I was only concerned with my sisters well being" he locked eyes with Octavia, who was being restrained by Lincoln. "my own well being" he added, and then looked away unable to look at her anymore.

"I was convinced that the only way to protect my sister was to keep the ark from coming to Earth. I was wrong" He continued to look throughout the crowd. "I was reminded by someone that in order to lead, I had to care about the people I was leading. My concern couldn't be reserved for myself, or my sister, but had to be shared among all of us. The more I came to know and understand the people that I came down here with, the more I came to view them as family" his gaze paused on Raven.

"A leader" his voice carried throughout the crowd "is someone who acts in the best interest of the people he or she is leading" his gaze shifted to Jasper. "I've made decisions for the better of this community that weren't easy; that haunt me. But those decisions kept you alive, kept my family alive" he nodded at Jasper before shifting his gaze once again.

"Don't be fooled by anyone who makes decisions for you that aren't in your best interest" he eyed Jaha briefly before looking back to the crowd. "Everything I've done was always to protect the people I care about." Jaha stepped in front of him,

"The execution will commence" he announced giving a nod to the guard positioned nearby. Jaha stepped off the stage as the guard rounded Bellamy pulling his gun from the holster.

"NO!" Octavia cry was heard throughout the camp as she fought against Lincolns hold. "I love you" he mouthed to her, then gave Lincoln a knowing look. Lincoln gave him a nod and threw Octavia over his shoulder and left the crowd while Octavia kicked and pounded her fist into him.

The guard raised his gun to Bellamy, "I'm sorry. I don't want to do this" he whispered. Bellamy had grown close with most of the guards over the past months. Bellamy offered him a tight smile. The guard cocked his gun, his finger snaking around the trigger. The guards breath caught in his throat, and he held it there.


	78. United We Stand

“Wait!” A voice yelled from the crowd.

“He didn't lie; he was lied to.”

The guard released the breath he was holding and lowered his gun. His eyes had filled with relief before he moved back beside Bellamy.

“This is a bold claim” Jaha accused the person. “Step forward and explain yourself.”

The crowd parted, and Jasper walked towards the front. He looked eyes with Bellamy until he reached Jaha. Bellamy’s face conveyed an unspoken warning.

“Bellamy’s accusation was true to what he was told. He was told Murphy killed the others and had hanged him.” Jasper explained.

“How could he not know who attacked him?” Haha challenged.

“He was unconscious when he had been hanged by someone” Jasper shot back.

“And who is this person, that lied to a member of the council” Jaha’s voice filling with restrained irritation.

Jasper swallowed. “I did.”

Jaha stepped into him, “do you understand the punishment for lying to a member of the council is the same as a member of the council lying to his constituents?”

Jasper smirked at him, “I do.”

“So with your admission of this crime you are sentencing yourself to an execution, you understand this?”

Jaspers' eyebrow cocked upward, “I understand the lying to a member of the council is a crime punishable by death yes” he grinned. Jasper could almost see Jaha’s blood boiling inside him.

“All right then, Jasper Jordon you are at this moment sentenced to execution by-” Jasper interested him before he could finish, “by a bullet to the head, yeah I think we’ve heard that enough today.” Jasper stepped onto the stage in front of Bellamy, then moved next to him.

“You’re gonna have to untie him if you want to kill me,” he told Jaha with a smile.

“Your statement does not change Mr. Blakes sentence” Jaha’s cold eyes glared at Jasper.

Jasper’s smile faded, “how is that possible?” his voice no longer conveying the confidence he held moments before.

“he didn't give a false accusation, he gave you the information I gave him.” Jaha’s back was to the crowd, so he embraced the moment and smiled boldly at Jasper.

“As a member of the council, Mr. Blake should not have made such a grave accusation without proper evidence. One boy's statement is merely a thought, not evidence.”

“but…I..” Jasper stuttered as the color drained from his face.

“I told Bellamy too” Monty called from the crowd as he pushed to the front. “You’ll have to execute me too.” With that, he stepped on the stage in front of Jasper.

“Me too” Raven stepped forward moving to the stage, “I told Bellamy too.”

One by one the remaining members of the 100 stepped forward, making the same claim. Each of them blocking the one before, standing united in front of Jaha.

“Are you going to kill us all?” Raven challenged Jaha.

Wic eyed Raven with a warning but realized it was fruitless. He stepped forward, in front of Raven. “He wasn’t a member of the council when the dropship landed, if they lied to him before his nomination they have not broken any laws” he argued.

“What proof would we have of when they made these allegations? They are all self-professed liars, we cannot take them on their word of the timing” Jaha rebutted.

“It would seem that there was a gross misunderstanding regarding the deaths of those boys, as well as the attack on Bellamy” Kane’s voice cut through the group as he walked closer to Jaha. “Perhaps this was the result of traumatized teenagers being thrust into a dangerous new world. Their memories may have distorted certain events.”

Jaha’s anger was palpable but brief. He closed his eyes before turning to address the remaining crowd. “Bellamy Blake is pardoned of his crime; there will be no execution today” he announced.

The guards quickly moved to release Bellamy from the poles.

“Thank you” he told Jasper before Jasper embraced him in a hug.

“We’re in this together” Jasper whispered to him. Monty joined the two in the hug.

The moment they released him, Bellamy, was pummeled by a flash of black hair, as Octavia threw herself into him. He held her tight, and she returned with as much strength as she could. She pulled back and slapped him.

“Don’t you EVER do that again!” she screamed at him then launched herself in for another hug.

Bellamy chuckled and pulled her close to him. After the siblings had indulged in a long embrace, Octavia withdrew.

Raven and Lincoln stood behind her; Raven was winded after running across the camp to reunite the Blake siblings. “

I figured she should be the first to know that your dumb ass wasn't gonna die” she shrugged.

“Thanks” he smiled at her.

“I’m grateful that I did not have to proceed with your execution” Jaha appeared beside Bellamy slapping a hand on his back.

“That’s funny, your grateful face looks a lot like your disappointed face,” Raven’s snarky voice said to him.

“Enjoy your evening, tomorrow we will meet to discuss the logistics of moving this camp to the City of Light” Jaha smiled triumphantly.

“We’re not going anywhere” Octavia sneered.

Bellamy placed a calming arm around her shoulders and tucked her into him.

He turned his focus to Jaha, “I will be there,” He told him.

Octavia stepped forward, “We’ll never leave with you, you’re-” Bellamy's strong hand on her should pulled her back.

“Yes we will” he said firmly.

Octavia’s head spun to him, “Bell, how can you say that, -w”

Bellamy grabbed both her shoulders, focusing her attention solely on him. “Jaha is right, we need to move our people somewhere safe.”

“Bell, you can’t b-”

“Take her to get some dinner, I doubt she’s eating at all today. Help her calm down” He told Lincoln, looking over his sister at him. Lincoln wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into him.

“Bell you-” Lincoln had pulled her far enough away that no one caught the rest of her thought.

“She’ll come around,” he told Jaha. “See that she does,” Jaha told him then disappeared into the dissipating crowd.

“What the hell was that?” Raven asked Bellamy.

“We need to talk” He replied, then glanced around at the rest of the people that saved his life. “All of us.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't think I would really kill off Bellamy did you?  
> There's no Bellarke without Bell ; )
> 
> On a side note-Season 3 trailer is finally out!


	79. Another Bloody Reunion

"We can meet by the firepit" Monty offered.

"Wait there until the rest of the camp goes to bed, we'll talk then. Make sure everyone is there, tell no one else" Bellamy ordered.

They dispersed from around him, but Raven remained. "Sounds like a great plan" She watched the others leave, before turning back to Bellamy.

"But you may want to go tell Clarke about your not being shot in the head" She smirked.

"No one told her?" He asked with a weary edge in his voice.

Raven crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side." uh. No" she replied with sarcasm.

"Why the hell not?" he snapped.

Raven rolled her eyes, "First, I don't think the spectacle she would have made if released from wherever she was taken would have been good for Jaha to see".

"…and second" he prompted after she paused.

"You know what they say about the messenger" she shrugged.

Bellamy gave a tight nod while biting his bottom lip.

"You're scared of Clarke?" Wic laughed from beside her.

Raven's head swung to him, "No" she snapped, "I'm not scared of anything."

She turned her head forward and stared off into the distance, "but I'm sure she's already going ballistic…" she mumbled under her breath. "Where is she?" Bellamy asked interrupting her incoherent muttering.

"How the hell should I know? We were a little distracted by having to save your dumb ass" Raven replied.

Bellamy's jaw tightened, his head tilting to the side while his face morphed into controlled anger.

"She just meant that we were all preoccupied while you sacrificed yourself" Wick explained.

"for Murphy" Raven quipped. "like I said…dumbass"

"she didn't mean that" Wick quickly inserted. "

"Yes I did" Raven spun around to face him, "don't tell him what I did or didn't mean to say."

Wick took a step back from the angry brunette.

Bellamy rolled his eyes in aggravation and walked away from the bickering pair. Bellamy made his way across the open area of the camp, heading for the nearest building entrance. He could hear Clarke screaming from a good distance away. He took a deep breath before entering the room.

Murphy was sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, Clarke's back was to him, her hands he could see were holding her to the pole against her back.

"I'm not making that decision!" Clarke told Murphy, "we'll figure it out! Let me go, we have to help him" she yelled through her tears.

Murphy looked up from the table and noticed Bellamy approaching behind Clarke, "he's fine."he shrugged.

"They're going to kill him!" Clarke cried, tugging harder on her bound wrists.

"Clarke stop, you're bleeding" Bellamy ordered her once he was a few feet away.He rushed to her crimson hands once he noticed the blood dripping from them.

"Wha-Bellamy?!" Clarke asked hesitantly, attempting to turn around to see him. The movement pulled at her wrists again. Bellamy was kneeling behind her, touching her arm to find the source of the injury.

"Stop moving" He snapped at her, his hand yanking her arm opposite the side she was turning to pull her straight again.

"Bellamy!" She yelped with relief, ignoring his order and squirming to turning around.

His strong hands latched onto her upper arms and pulled her straight again, "Stop moving!" he ordered again, holding her until she stopped squirming.

"Bellamy, what are you doing? How are you here? What happened?" the questions flowed through her at such a rapid rate they were almost indecipherable. Bellamy found the site of the wounds on Clarke; her wrists shared deep gashes beneath the handcuffs.

"Do you have the key?" Bellamy asked Murphy, leaning around Clarke.

"No" he shrugged, looking back at the table.

"Go get one" Bellamy growled at him.

"You sure you want to-"

"Now Murphy" Bellamy commanded.

Murphy threw his hands up in surrender, "just checking". Murphy left the two of them.

Clarke tried to turn back to face him, but he wrapped his fingers around her hips and pulled her back against the pole. "Clarke you need to stop moving, your wrists are bleeding."

"I'm fine" she insisted, "what's going on? How are you here?" she shifted again.

He pulled her once more against the pole, "I'll leave if you don't stop moving."

Clarke stopped her efforts. Bellamy's hands skimmed from her hips, down her arms and down to her wrists. He lightly traced over the area surrounding the tortured flesh.

"How long have you been pulling at the handcuffs?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine! What happened out there?" she asked.

"How long?" he asked gruffly.

"Bellamy, it's just a scratch, it's not important. You were sent-"

"How. Long," he snapped angerly at her while staring at her blood soaked hands.

"Since Murphy tied me to this pole. Bella-"

"I told you I can't just give you the k-" Max's words caught in his throat when he entered the room with Murphy and took in the scene. He rushed to Clarke, holding her shoulders, "are you okay?"

"Give me your cuff key" Bellamy barked at him from his position behind Clarke.

Max rounded Clarke and saw the blood covering her hands, "What is going on here" he demanded, shoving Bellamy to gain access to her hands. Bellamy took the blow without wavering, then glared at Max.

"Give me the damn key!"

Max threw the key at him and rounded back to the front of Clarke. "What happened?" he asked.

"I'm fine" she replied waiting impatiently for Bellamy to free her hands so she could see him.

"No, you're not. You're crying, handcuffed to a pole and your arms are bleeding" he told her with a disapproving look. Bellamy carefully peeled the handcuffs from her wrists, and she shot around to him as soon as her wrists were free. Her arms flew around his neck, his wrapped around her waist and pulled her into him as he rose to his feet. She sobbed into his chest for a few minutes while the others watched. She pulled back and held his face in her hands.

"We need to get you out of here, we can go to one of the bunkers an-"

"You need to have your mom look at these" he interrupted her thought as he held her forearms, dragging her hands into her view.

"We need to get you safe" she insisted, fighting against his hold to move her arms out of site.

" _I'm_ safe, _you_ are bleeding out," he told her grabbing a nearby towel and pressing it to her wrists.

"They aren't going to execute you?" she asked with a hesitant relief.

His eyes lifted from her wrists and met hers as he gave her a lopsided smile, "No" he said with a small shake of his head.

Her arms broke free from his grip as she threw herself at him one again hugging him hard. He stroked her hair a few times, then grabbed her arms and pulled her back. He tore the towel into two strips and tied them tightly around each of her wrists. She starred at him with a mixture of disbelief and awe.

"How?" she breathed.

"Just another one of his nine lives" Murphy injected with a snarky tone.

Bellamy's hands framed her face, "I'm fine" he assured her, no one's being executed" his thumbs gently caressed her cheeks wiping over the tear streaks.

"Yeah but you were pretty close" Max added. Bellamy's gaze shifted from Clarke to glare at him. He felt Clarke's jar grinding under his fingers and he returned his eyes to hers.

"I'm fine" he reiterated, as he felt her demeanor changing.

"Was that your plan?" she asked, her eyes searching his for the answer she wanted.

He sighed, "Clarke, I'm fine" his thumbs retracing their previous path on her damp cheeks.

Clarke pulled back from his hands, "Was that your plan?" anger crept into her voice, "you exchange your life for his?" her face hardening.

"Clarke" he breathed reaching for her, but she dodged him.

Clarke's head began to shake slowly from side to side as she retreated from him. "You were going to let them kill you to save Murphy?" it was more an accusation than a question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

Bellamy licked his lips, rolling his eyes away from her. "would you have let me go through with it?"

"No!" she exclaimed. Bellamy rushed to her, his large hands holding her small shoulders.

"That's why I couldn't tell you, I had my plan" he whispered. They starred into each others eyes as she processed the last few hours. Bellamy watched her eyes soften to him again, he raked one of his hands through her blonde hair and pulled her to him in a long embrace.

"Now will you please let met take you to your mom so she can look at your wrists?" He breathed against her ear.


	80. Divide and Conquer

One of the medical technicians put Clarke's sutures in place as she refused to see Abby, let alone have her tend to her wounds. Bellamy remained silently at her side, eyeing the torn flesh with a look that wavered between concern and anger. She dropped her interrogation regarding his self-sacrificial act while in the medical bay. By the time she was bandaged, it was nightfall.

The pair exited the ark and headed for the firepit. Bellamy had told her of the meeting and discussed his idea with her regarding Jaha. "We'll talk more once the camp has gone to sleep until then have a drink. We could all use one" Bellamy smiled at her.

The crowd grew with time, Bellamy monitoring their alcohol consumption so they wouldn't be too drunk for what he had to say. Once they were the only ones awake beside the guard on duty across the camp, they clustered together.

'"We need to go to the City of Light" Bellamy announced to the group.

"You really have lost your mind Blake; I thought you were crazy this morning but this is outright insane!" Raven exclaimed stepping forward.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and continued speaking "before Jaha". He shot Raven a "shut the hell up" look, and she did.

"That journey is a suicide mission," Murphy said.

 

"You've made it" Monty snapped at him, "twice."

"I was two of thirteen that made it there" Murphy sneered at him.

"Two of two that made it back" Monty replied.

"Enough," Bellamy said. "We need to make it there before Jaha to disable the bomb, and ensure he can't build another one."

"How are we going to do that?" A voice called from the group.

"We've got thieves, computer geeks, engineers, and mechanics" Bellamy boasted, "I think between all of them, they will be able to disable one bomb."

"Of course, we can," Raven said, "but how are we gonna stop Jaha from rebuilding it?"

"By setting a trap" Bellamy glanced at Clarke and she gave him a small nod, "to kill Jaha." Mummers grew throughout the group with his statement.

"I know what you're thinking" he assured them, "so any of you that don't want to take part in this leave now. No one will judge you."

"Maybe you won't" Murphy added warranting a brief but heated glare from Bellamy.

Bellamy glanced around to see if anyone was leaving, "Alright then" he said. "Here's the plan. We split into three groups. The first group be with the injured or weak, and two to guard them. This group will go a short distance with the first group and will take shelter in an underground bunker. It's large and has a decent food reserve. The second group will be the largest and will hold the responsibility of disabling the bomb. I know the journey will be hard, and some of you haven't left the camp since returning from Mount Weather. If you don't think you can make the journey, go with the first group. The second group has to have the smartest and strongest. You won't only have a long trip to make, but you'll have to master the technology that has survived the over a hundred years."

"And the third group?" Jasper asked.

"The third group will set the trap for Jaha" Bellamy answered shortly.

"Okay, so who is in each group?" Monroe asked.

"The first group is voluntary unless you have an obvious injury that will limit you" Bellamy announced. "Those of you that need to be in the first group step to the back" Bellamy paused while a small few moved to the back of the group.

"There are some that have to go in the second group to disable the bomb, Wick, Monty, Jasper I need you in that group"

Bellamy turned his attention to Raven and lowered his voice. "can you make it?" he asked.

"Is Joules constant 778 ft-ibf/Btu?" She replied sarcastically.

Bellamy stared blankly at her until she realized he had no mechanical engineering knowledge base. "Yeah. I can make it."

"Good"

"The rest of you have the to make sure these four make it to the bomb."

"So who's in the third group?" Murphy asked

"Me, you, Max, and Clarke."

"Max?" Murphy questioned, "I can't imagine Mr. Straight and Narrow would go along with a plan to take out the Jaha."

"We're not taking out Jaha; we're setting the trap."

"Murphy is the only would who has been tot he City, how will we find it without him?" Wick asked.

"Good question" Murphy smirked.

"Lincoln knows most of the way; Murphy will fill in the blanks for him ahead of time."

"Jaha will want the camp to leave as soon as possible, I can but us a few days, but we need to leave quickly. We'll break off into small groups, say you're going hunting or gathering. Meet at sundown at the large bunker to the East. Half of you go tomorrow, the other half the next day. Those of you that know where it is find the ones that don't and lead them there. Nobody goes alone. You will stay in the bunker until everyone has arrived and rested, and then the second group will leave in the morning."

He nodded to Jasper, "The four of you leave first. The rest of you, if anyone questions where you are going then stay. We can't risk the camp noticing that we are moving. We have guards on our side; you'll be safe. We'll stay connected with radios, meet back at the bunker when you've destroyed the bomb and this A.L.L.I.E. thing."

Bellamy noticed the weariness that some of the young adults wore.

"We can do this. We've done it before" he stared at them, "We worked together and beat the grounders, and Mount Weather. We will beat this too."

The crowd cheered in response.

"Have fun tonight because tomorrow the fun is over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched the extended trailer yesterday..Oh....my.....God.... this seasons going to be insane....Octavias gone cray....Belllarke hug....Poor Bellamy looks like he's being beaten all season :(


	81. A Plan in Motion

Bellamy went to the council meeting as scheduled in the morning, nodding to Jasper and Monty before entering the room.

"Glad to have you joining us this fine morning." Jaha greeted him.

"Good to be here" he replied humbly taking his seat.

"I'm sorry I was unable to attend yesterday, I had to perform emergency surgery after one of the workers had an unfortunate accident" Abby explained to him.

An unfortunate accident that Jaha surely planned Bellamy thought to himself as he smiled back at her.

"No worries, it all worked out."

"Fortunately" Kane added with a knowing look to him.

"Yes," Jaha chimed in "very fortunate."

A heavy silence had weighed on them before Jaha redirected the conversation.

"Now, what are our plans for our pilgrimage to the City of Light?"

"We only have two that have injuries that will prohibit walking" Abby replied.

"We've gathered enough supplies to carry us through," Kane said.

"And the guard Bellamy, are they ready to defend our people?" Jaha questioned.

"They know the wildlife to watch out for from hunting trips. And I've taught them how the grounders scout, so we should be safe."

"Should be? That's not a strong voice of confidence that I expect when moving all of our people through grounder territory" Jaha said.

"It would be better if I took a small group ahead, to ensure a safe path. We can stay two days ahead and radio back with any sightings of grounders."

"That's a good idea" Kane agreed.

"We cannot spare the guards to journey with you. We leave our people at risk with every guard you take with you" Jaha replied.

"I won't take any trained guards then" Bellamy offered.

"Who then?" Jaha replied, testing him.

"Murphy, because he knows the way" Bellamy shrugged, "Max, the guard from the other station. He hasn't been trained to fight the grounders, or the wildlife so he won't be of much use to you."

"Anyone else?"

"Clarke, in case, any of us gets hurt. She can patch us up."

Abby's face expressed her disapproval with his last statement, but she kept quiet.

It didn't take much convincing for Jaha to agree to the scout group. Mostly because it would rid him of three thorns in his side….Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy.

Bellamy informed one of the 100 of the plan, and to spread the word. He didn't like leaving before the others were safely away, but he knew the journey they had to make was in a different direction. They would need the extra time to get there and execute their plan before Jaha could execute his.

The four of them left camp and hiked throughout the day. They mostly kept quiet, unless necessary. They hiked until sunset then set up a small tent and fire.

"I still can't believe you lucked out like that" Max looked at Bellamy over the fire.

"What do you mean?" Clarke questioned.

"Nothing," Bellamy said sharply giving a hard look at Max.

"Nothing?" Max exclaimed, "You were half of a second away from a bullet through your brain."

"What?!" Clarke's head jerked to Bellamy

"It wasn't like that," Bellamy said, dismissing Clarke's reaction and pushing branches into the fire to make it grow.

"Man, I've never seen someone so close to an execution escape it." Max shook his head.

"What happened, you still haven't answered me?" Clarke demanded.

"Because it doesn't matter, everything worked out. We have bigger things to worry about" Bellamy glanced at her, before concentrating on the fire.

Clarke turned her attention to Max, "What happened?"

Bellamy lifted his gaze from the fire to give Max a pointed look. Unfortunately for Bellamy, Max was immune to his usually intimidating glare.

"The scrawny kid with the crazy hair stopped the execution while the guard had the trigger half-pulled. He admitted to lying to Bellamy about the murders. Then the rest of the people in the other groups with us, all stood up for him one by one. They all copped to lying to him. Dozens of them were standing there, and Councilman Kane talked Jaha out of the execution. I mean, logically, they couldn't execute all of them without backlash from the community. There were too many kids; the people would have turned against the Chancellor and the Council."

Clarke stared at him, then turned to Bellamy.

"You didn't tell me it was that close" she whispered, her voice retreating on her.

Bellamy's menacing glare left Max, melting into a softer gaze on Clarke.

"you didn't need to know," he said gently, "It wouldn't do you any good to know."

Clarke's glassy eyes stared back at him.

"Hey," he breathed, cupping her cheek in his hand. "I'm okay."

Clarke forced a smile, her body lightly trembling.

"Come here," he said as he pulled her over to him, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her head to his shoulder.

"What scrawny kid?" She asked after a moment

"Jasper" Bellamy replied.

"Jasper?" she said with shock. "How did you convince him to do it?"

Bellamy gazed into her eyes briefly then blinked and swung his gaze back to the fire.

"He hasn't spoken to anyone in so long, its hard to believe he stood up to Jaha" she added.

"he wanted to help" Bellamy shrugged, "he's a good guy."

"I know he's a good guy" she shook her head, "he's just been so distant…..so heartbroken" Clarke watched the flames dance before her before.

"Not just because Maya died, but because we did it."

Bellamy fixed his eyes back on her. "What?" she asked after feeling his stare.

"That's the first time you acknowledged that we both are responsible for what happened."

Clarke turned her attention back to the blaze, "Monty was his best friend, they grew up together. I may have told him to do it, but Jasper knows Monty made it work." Her voice dropped low as she added, "he felt betrayed by the one person he could always count on."

"No one blames you for that Clarke" Bellamy comforted.

"I do" she whispered. After another moment, she stood and moved into their tent for the night.

The men sat around the campfire in silence for a while before Max's curiosity got the best of him.

"So how did you even come up with a plan like that?" he asked Bellamy.

"Yeah Bellamy" Murphy's snarky voice injected, "how did you come up with a plan like that?"

Bellamy shot his attention over to Murphy's knowing smirk, then narrowed his eyes and glowered at him.

"And why would Jasper wait until the very last second to speak up?" Murphy pressed, "I mean, you might want to have a word with him if you have any plans like that in the future. Sounds like he cut it pretty close" Murphy's cocky grin spread wider as Bellamy's glare hardened and his body tensed.

"drop it Murphy" he warned

Murphy held his knowing smirk.

"Now" Bellamy growled before kicking out the fire and heading to the tent.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a good holiday season, and Happy New Years : )


End file.
